All Comments on 'Muscle Shoals'

Now that was some seriously funny shit! Todd Shack, Swing music, Joe, Mandi Brown, Johnny Knight and the Harddays, free concerts, buy a vowel! You had me crying. There were more snippets in there than I can even remember. I've got to read this again! The clincher was that the swing guy was secretly in love with Mandi. God that is probably true! And hilarious! Funniest thing since Johnny Knight's dreams came.

I don't care who you are, that was.funny. Have to read it fast, just like you wrote it. If you get parole, and make it back to Muscle Shoals, say hello to the Swampers for me.

Weirdly reminds me of Cormac McCarthy's Child of God.

Frantically logging on and off, pushing that one star. 5*s

Irregardless how many times I read it. Skillet fu! Bwahaha

WTF! what utter GARBAGE!

That was like deciphering “American Pie” when I was a teen. Very clever. Still, I think I missed a lot of the allusions - gotta go back and reread. Definitely not something to skim. Thanks*****

We're her thralls.

Q

just where they need to be, TK U MLJ LV NV

Finally , a story about a R(ea)LMann ! lmao .

Loved this . In the long line of inside baseball type stories on this site , this one ranks up there .

I'll bet you even wrote it on your phone in one call of nature break ! lol .

Thanks for the great laugh to start my day .

Gee, I wonder who this could be?

...My singing has been mistaken for the tragic calls of a wounded water buffalo on occasion!

As always , entertaining and well written.

"Like a panther, I moved like the night. Wait. Okay, either the panther or the night. I moved like something good. Pantherish. Okay, a panther. Forget the night."

Very Monty Python. 5*s.

"Muscle Heads"

I think I got all the references, probably missed some!

Just makes you wonder how they can function!

A nice parody, filled with little gems of humour.

is where the elite meet. We even had babbling brooks in this one! Very subtle satire and well done! 5*s and 😃👍!

AMerryman

Those of us that follow LW regularly will catch the references and appreciate the humor. This is satire as it should be done. It has a light touch but delivers the message. Down Town Mandy Browne is a real fox and Joe is the King of Swing, but do not invite them to the same party! The mullet and the stalking were great touches. The fact that no one appreciates Joe's true genius was sadly true. I suspect readers will have no idea what this is about in a few years, but right here and right now, it's pretty funny, and shit!

Odd attempts at satire or farce are becoming the “In” thing in this category. Looking forward to more. The weirder the better!

There wasn't enough character development.

Or any likeable characters at all.

The ending was rushed.

There was no conflict/resolution arc to follow.

No sex on an erotic site.

Wrong category.

Definitively lacking in the consumption of used condoms.

So, what do we have left?

The obligatory 5 stars! Congratulations on the achieving the masterpiece you were aiming for! Well Done, Timely, and Effective! Thank You!

(I blame the moon girl....)

going to make this your last dip in to the realm of L/W. The Bebop House of Jazz can't die here like that.

I had a good laugh at this. I half expected him to chloroform himself! All the references were hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

Rnebular

"babbling brooks?" - Hey, I resemble that remark!

...for all the space I occupy in your minds throughout each day. Hell, I’ve hardly had time to read, write, or comment here in a while, and yet I’m still there, occupying free space in your heads!

I wasn’t even planning to read this one, as I don’t recognize the author as someone who has ever written anything memorable, but I saw it was racking up some comments. Imagine my surprise when I discovered yet another LW tale was written about me! What can I say? I’m flattered.

At least this “satire” was original, unlike the other embarrassing attempts at my expense. I always get a chuckle out of the way people project their own insecurities and jealousy when they target me. It’s more telling than they know.

I'll have to read it again to see if I missed anything.

what a waste of story space just stupid no real story

Nearly made me spew my coffee a time or two. Great funny writing. I probably didn't get all the jokes, but I got enough, and then the great man came along with his comment and that was the capstone!

"All the space I occupy in your minds throughout each day." One of the funniest lines I've ever read! Randi would never be able to pay if Joe charged her rent for all the space she takes up in his mind. How long has he been obsessed with her? Four years? Five? How many comments has he made about her? Thousands?

And then the King of "not memorable" writing talks shit about someone not being memorable? So funny! I always get a chuckle out of how Joe projects his insecurity and jealousy onto other writers who are so obviously better than he is in every way.

I'm not sure many readers will understand what this story attempted to do. I'm sure I missed half the intended references. The comments were the best part, as certain people recognized themselves and responded. Props to Q for the vocabulary lesson. "Thrall" huh? Nicely and humorously done. But this was a waste of space.

Funny. Definitely one I’ll read again. ROLL TIDE!!!!!

I take it, it was over your head. lol Good one. High marks.

I don't care particularly for singled out smears but gave this a 4 for creativity if nothing else.

WTF was this supposed to be?

Again, it's hilarious how you anonies project the most laughable traits onto me when those same traits are so easily identified in others. Unlike a few others here, I've never claimed to be anything more than an amateur hack writer. If I had any such lofty visions of greatness as a writer, I certainly wouldn't write for an amateur porn site -- and I definitely wouldn't work for free!

Imagine if I took my Literotica persona so seriously, and suffered from such delusions of grandeur, that I retained a "team" of six or seven poor schmucks to preview and edit each of my stories. Imagine wasting the time of so many people just to support my ego! Imagine if I began each of my stories by thanking my team as if I were accepting the Pulitzer. Imagine if I created an exclusive club of "legendary writers"...and invited myself into that club! Imagine if I constantly listed my academic credentials to support my opinions instead of merely letting my writing speak for itself. Imagine having such a fragile ego that I delete any comment from my stories that isn't completely complimentary!

Now there is a subject worthy of satire! But to be fair, it's far easier for lazy writers to attack a caricature than an actual person. That, and you don't want to get on the wrong side of the clique if you derive all of your self-worth from the scores and feedback you receive from the readers of an amateur porn site.

.....Thanks for a zany start to my day!

This was.. well.. I think that.. *uhh.. anyway...?

it took me the second time to get the satire but when I did I laughed out loud. Good Job Bepop!

Everyone else got a mention, but not me.

Well fine. I see how it is. I get the picture.

Seriously, I did laugh. Very well put together. More, please.

You already got one mention in a story today. Wanting to be in two is just greedy.

😂

I think that only Literotica addicts got the humor in this piece. Thus the low score.

You treated The Shoals real nice. And funny. Damn shame that Sheffield and Tuscumbia never get equal billing. After all it is the Tri Cities. Thanks for some great visuals.

ROLL TIDE!

when I read this ... this ... whatever. I thought I'd make an even 40

Maybe not to everyone. Many of us have one or two demented haters who try to manipulate our scores. Bebop's just happens to be self-declared. Stated in a comment that they were going to downvote all his stories below a certain score. They stated that in a comment that was deleted on this story. Fortunately, vote scamming doesn't work on Literotica, claims to the contrary notwithstanding. They do for a little while, but the site is very good at detecting that and soon sweeps the fraudulent votes away. It may take a month or two, sometimes, but they always detect it.

Fanboys who five bomb, haters who one bomb, they are detected, sooner or later. We just have to put up with it, in the meantime.

And you do it so well!

I thought it was no better and no worse than SwingerJoe's 'The Tale of Frank Vandenburg'. At least it didn't quite trample about with hob-nailed boots as another recent attempt at satire did.

On the other hand, I think it would have been preferable if it hadn't been written at all. Stories and the ideas (and even the agenda) behind those stories are perfectly good targets for parody and satire, but personal critiques of authors and commenters are not helpful.

I hope SJ doesn't take this story as an invitation to respond with a story of his own. We saw what happened when the targets of his own story responded to it. Just as Bebop's story here has a degree of cleverness to it, so did SJ's story back then. But the responses were crude and retaliatory and their authors had the decency to recognise that and delete them.

Nobody emerges covered in glory from exchanges like that.

Keep yourself nice.

Lue

You have some serious talent. In this story you have created a character who is way off-centre and yet totally believable. He is worthy of the great John Irving.

And as a bonus, the story is hilarious.

Read it again slowly. I was able to pick up most of the references. Translated it, nothing we haven't heard before. Bebop is clever though, but Bumfuck Alabama won't win any fans. Like the other guys said "Roll Tide!"

If you have thousands of views and get a low score, it's because the target audience has settled on that one. After an initial post, things may fluctuate rapidly, but over time they settle where the masses feel. The more views, the more accurate the score is my assessment on the outside looking in.

@jezzaz

Brother, I got your back.

Nother thang.

I do put Easter Eggs in my story from other authors I admire. I do appreciate the wink and the nod. I've personally never taken a shot at another author in my stories (I know, I've submitted only four), and it doesn't feel right to me.

I'm new to the community here and don't know the history of grievances. How they began, who was right, who is wrong. Without knowing that, it does bug me. If I make an author a butt of a joke, I'm either getting that author's permission, or I'll have a damn good reason.

That said ... I did love the multitude of references. I'm also certain I missed a few. This was well done satire.

Most people here would think it was preferable if you didn't comment, at all, Luedon. That doesn't stop you, does it? Stupid cow.

Took me a while to realize our narrator is a little off. But it all worked and it was surprisingly smart as well as funny. Derailing his own parole because of his audience was a nice finishing touch.

R.

Loved this short but funny tale. Keep up the good work.

5/5

5* for the reference. Now I’m going back to read the rest.

1*

The story, yes, but something else is funny too. A story making fun of someone is hilarious!

Unless it is a story depicting BlackRandi as a catfishing man. That's not funny at all. In fact, it's downright outrageous!

But the double standard...priceless.

to be a wordsmith. Kinda decent at a parody since they are hard to write. But man the usage of supposedly high level vocabulary words made the story read awkwardly. The kicker is that the word is regardless. Irregardless ain't a word my friend. One of those errors from people who are trying to hard to sound educated.

That's an interesting take on things, but it's a bit off.

I had thought it would be obvious that word usage and vocabulary were deliberate and indicative of the mental acuity of the narrator.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

1 star.

You forgot to include the hamburger cooking contest.

It should have been obvious that "irregardless" was deliberate, and that the whole word usage was part of the parody.

"You forgot to include the hamburger cooking contest."

How many stars would it have received if there was a hamburger eating contest?

I can go back and do a quick edit.

Thanks for reading and have a great week!

Really hillarious and I know I missed half of the early references because I am thinking this dude is a bit off. Gonna do a re-read but its clearly a 5. Thanks for a great story to start the week.

Belly laughed... Thanks. 5* Animal House meets Police Squad meets LW drama writers.

If you need me, I'll be cruising in my 'stang' listening to the latest offering from the Shack!

Only a few partial sentences remain, and they do not a story make.

I'm so glad Randi recommended this! This is just hilarious, made me laugh really hard. Five stars!

Yes I can see the humor in this, just that when ever i started to laugh, I felt like I kicked a puppy.

That Randi, Q, Stang and Todd enjoyed this as much as I did. Since you mentioned characters from 'Animal House', a trivia question; Who was the 'Animal House' actor who was the only one appearing in both the first and last episodes of 'Quantum Leap' other than Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell? Hint: His nickname in the movie was 'D-Day'. Did anyone really not realize the malaprops in this story were intentional? signed: BTW

Very, very funny!

Heh ,heh ,heh ! Absolutely Brilliant .

Wonder how many people got it, though ?

Jason, WHAT no MIstress Silkstockings?

Yeah, this is a load of crap.

☆

Not a musician, but rekindled my interest in indie music around Y2K. Made many friends and acquaintances among musicians.

Joe sounds like a Jeff I met. His Myspace page said 37 different musicians had played in his band over just a few years. Why so many? He was an arrogant DICK!

Liked the use of "ignoramal." Knew a guy who used "ignoramic."

Nonsequitour

WTF was this story all about??????? 1*