All Comments on 'Muscular Maidens Pt. 01'

You know your characters really well, and you have a solid grasp of what they are feeling. This excerpt felt kind of meandering, there's wasn't a lot of tension introduced. It felt kinda normal, like a slice of life, which is great, but kinda of a mundane way to start a sci Fi story. Personally I think your characters seem fun. Having a protagonist with asthma is interesting and I'm excited to see what you do next.

Good start. Looking forward to how the story develops

Thank you for the comments. I uploaded two more segments from the book today. This chapter is more character development than plot development but it does tell a story in its own right. It's fantasy rather than sci-fi.