Musical Memoirs

They say that music can stir emotional feelings and that hearing a certain song or tune can take you back to either when you first heard it, or a particularly significant moment in time. Well, I would agree with that theory, especially when the piece of music can be considered a classic. For me, that piece of music is 'Suite: Judy Blue Eyes' by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, the classic Woodstock soundtrack version.

All eight minutes eleven seconds of it that it took me to lose my virginity. OK I know that technically it only takes a nanosecond for that to happen, but that was how long the first sex lasted, well more or less. That was the song that was playing when I finally gave in to my boyfriends' promptings.

Whenever I hear that song, my mind drifts back, well they also say a girl always remembers her first time don't they and with such an iconic track as the background, any girl would remember that, wouldn't she?

Sunday, September 20^th 1970, the day I became a woman, aged just eighteen.

I'm eighteen and have been going out with my boyfriend Jonathan for six months now, he's a year older than me and a teammate of my brother at the rugby club, that's where we met. He's a hunk, just over six foot tall, wide shoulders, broad chest, fit and strong, with a gorgeous bum. Long fair hair as was the fashion in those days, with grey eyes. He was a catch, and I was determined not to lose him.

I'm a slim blonde, about five feet six inches tall, so fit under his shoulder just nicely when we walk together. I've got naturally wavy dark blonde hair that is cut chin length, in no particular style. Like Jonathan, my eyes are grey, and I have a little snub nose. I'm slim but have a pair of perky boobs that he loves to play with, and I let him play as often as he wants. They sit high and proud, with very small but sensitive dark brown nipples to cap them. A narrow waist and cheeky little bum, lead to my best feature. Long, slim, legs, a feature that I love to show off as I wear miniskirts that are as short as I can get away with. Jonathan says, they lead to heaven, that quickly turns to hell for him, as he isn't getting entrance to the pearly gates.

As I say we've been going out for about six months now, and he has been very patient with me, but at the same time letting me know he would like to go a lot further than we already have. He's very subtle and never pushy, and when I say no he backs right off. I think he's playing the patient game, but also that he loves me and doesn't want to push things too far or too fast meaning I would want to break up with him. I am conscious that he needs more, I want to give him more, lots lots more. Plus there are more than a few girls who are sniffing around him who would have no hesitation of giving him what he wants.

We've had lots of kissing, and as I've said, I let him play with my boobs anytime and for as long as he wants. He loves to suck and play with them. I've gone as far as letting him finger me, that has now progressed to mutual masturbation. I've learnt how to make him cum and love the feeling when he releases his load over my hands. I let him finger me, but that is as far as we, no I, have gone. He's brought me to an orgasm more than once, so I know about things like that.

Once he tried to go down on me, but I wouldn't let him, and to be fair, he didn't try and get me to suck him off, he wanted to have oral sex with me, but I knew that eventually, he would want me to do the same. Urgh, yuk, no way.

We've played that teenage game, where he tries to go a bit further, and I refuse, so he backs off, then tries it again, and I still refuse, then after a third attempt, I give in. I mean, back then it was all part of the game of growing up, a boy tried things, the girl refused, so the boy eased off, then tried again, we all knew that was the game we were playing, the boy showing interest, the girl not wanting to appear too easy. But the thing was we all knew the rules of the game. And if a girl said no, it meant no.

Let's face it I'd have been annoyed if he hadn't tried things on, like any teenage girl, I wanted to feel loved and pretty and that he fancied me.

I'd wanted to go further for a while, I just felt the time was right, that I was in a serious relationship and that it wouldn't be just a quick fuck and a notch on his bedpost. I'm sure he could have many on there if he'd not been faithful and patient with me, waiting until I was ready.

It had been a crap weekend for Jonathan so far, his idol and to quote him, 'The greatest guitarist in rock history and one of the most influential people in rock and roll, after Buddy Holly, no more than Buddy Holly' had died on Friday. Jonathan had been devastated when I met him after school. At the time I wasn't into rock and Hendrix just didn't do it for me, but I could tell that he had something different about him as a musician. I was more into Motown, James Taylor and Carol King that's all.

So it's now Sunday, and I've made up my mind, I'm going to have sex with Jonathan, I'm determined to do it, I'm just not sure I'll be brave enough to actually go all the way, that I might back out at the last minute.

As a good Catholic girl, I was ready for Mass but had had a massive argument with mum over what I was wearing. I knew I daren't push it to wear my favourite patched suede miniskirt. It is so short that it only just covers my bum, but Jonathan loves it so much. So I had opted for a full-length denim skirt that buttoned all the way down the front, so I could control how much leg I was showing, for Mass it would be none, but after, well the buttons were all going to be open.

Mum for some reason didn't like that fact it was denim, so we had a stand-off, Mum saying denim wasn't proper for Mass, whilst I said it was and refused to change, eventually, I won as we would have been late for the service. I'd paired it with a cheesecloth blouse and no bra, my brother nearly freaked out when he noticed that. Mum either hadn't noticed or had decided to let things pass. I'd played with going with no panties as well, but that was a step too far.

After Mass, I said goodbye to my family and friends and made my way to Jonathan's house. I knew we would be alone all afternoon as his parents were going out to visit friends and relatives as they always do. I think it was also their way of allowing us some time together.

I'd timed things just right as his mum and dad were leaving when I arrived so they told us to be safe and enjoy ourselves, but to be careful. I don't know what they thought we were going to do, but they were cool with us being together, as we had been going out for six months as I have said. They know we are going further than just kissing, but seem to also know that we haven't done it yet.

When we were alone, Jonathan pulled me into his arms and kissed me, a long slow loving kiss, just to show me he loved me. His arms were around me, but not pawing at me or trying to feel me up. Holding me in a strong loving embrace. I responded and kissed him back. Adoring the feeling of being in his arms, I felt so loved and protected there.

Eventually, I broke away and led him into the lounge and as I half sat half lay on the sofa, giving him a good look at my legs as they poked out of the split in my dress, I told him to close the curtains a bit and to put some music on.

He did as told, then came and joined me on the couch. Now his kisses were sexy and passionate, wanting and demanding of me and I gave back. My tongue was pressed into his mouth, fighting with his as I bit down on his lower lips slightly. His hands were wandering unhindered all over my body. I wasn't stopping him. He caressed me, before cupping my breasts in his hands, gasping as he realised I wasn't wearing a bra, I wanted him to have full and easy access to my body. My nipples hardened as he played with them, pinching them slightly, the way he knows I like.

I didn't stop him when he started to undo my blouse, in fact, I was doing the same with his shirt at the same time. It felt so nice when he lay against me, skin to skin, his strong chest pressing against my soft boobs, squashing them, before he took them in his palms again.

He kissed me again, moving lower down, he kissed in the hollow of my neck and shoulder, then lower still until his hot mouth sucked one boob, flicking at the nipple with his tongue. I sighed with delighted pleasure and knew I wanted more. I needed more.

As Jonathan continued to play and suck on my boobs I could feel the hardness of his cock as it pressed against my leg, so reached down and undid the fly of his jeans and released it from its constraint. It must have been so painful for him to have it held prisoner like that. Jonathan gasped as I'd never been so forward before, I always followed his lead.

I stroked his cock gently, revelling in the hardness and the way it twitched in my hand. Jonathan was still sucking on my nipples and every so often would teasingly nip one of them, every time he did it sent a tingle through my pussy.

When the music stopped Jonathan changed the record and I took the chance to undo my skirt and take it off, so when he turned back I was naked. He must have liked what he saw as his cock twitched and stood even harder. It was the first time he had seen me properly naked. I knew my face was red, and not just from the fact that I was excited. I was also a little embarrassed from letting him see me nude. I struggled not to cover myself up as he cast his eyes up and down my body, his mouth hanging open. I had started this, I wanted to let him see me so I held still despite my embarrassment.

I motioned to him to join me, before he did he stripped all his clothes off, so we were both completely naked. Now it wasn't just his chest that was bare against me, it was his whole body. I hadn't said anything, but he must have guessed that I wasn't going to resist any-more.

We kissed again, but this time his hands were split between playing with my boobs and playing with my pussy. I hadn't stopped him when he placed one hand on it, cupping it, then sliding a finger softly into the slit, then as he moved it slipped inside me properly. My hand grasped his wrist and pushed him deeper inside me before releasing him to allow him to play his own game. He knew what I wanted, him!

Jonathan used his finger to rub inside my pussy, alternately using slow and quick movements, but always going as deep as he could, he upped things by getting a second finger in, God that felt good. I allowed him to do something I hadn't done before, a third finger pressed in alongside the other two, widening me up as never before. That felt even better, a little uncomfortable at first but I soon relaxed and stretched to accommodate his fingers as they continued to work their magic on me. I was tight but as I got wetter, it seemed to ease the grip.

I was doing the same with his cock, well not the same, but I was pulling and stroking on it, getting him more and more excited, his pre-cum was leaking all over my fingers and palm there was that much of it. Every so often he would twitch and I expected him to cum, but somehow I managed to stop in time and held him back.

Jonathan was kissing me continually, hot kisses with lots of tongue action, but lovingly as well, letting me know he loved me, not just lusted after me. His thumb had found my clit. Now by rubbing on it getting me more and more excited. I needed a break otherwise I was going to explode and I wasn't ready for that just yet.

"Change the music," I told him, not the most romantic of things to say in that situation, but I just needed to get my thoughts together, I needed a little break. I wanted to go all the way, but I was still afraid.

Afraid of what it would mean; afraid it might hurt, it did; afraid he wouldn't respect me afterwards, he did; basically, I was a confused and emotional wreck, but hell I was still only eighteen and a virgin, struggling hard with taking that final step, even though I had encouraged him.

I could sense the exasperation in him as he broke away and changed the record, "I've put it on repeat play," he said as the music again filled the room, Country Joe McDonald's the Fish Cheer, then the rest of side two of the Woodstock album.

When Jonathan turned back I stared openly at his cock, my God I thought, it looks so big and hard, how on earth am I going to get that thing inside me?

Jonathan came back to the couch and as he lay alongside me again I whispered, "I'm not going to stop you. I'm ready to go all the way." He didn't say anything, just bent and kissed me in the most loving way I could have imagined. I returned his kisses for a while before I put some pressure on his shoulders and pushed him downwards, as he prepared to stop at my boobs I kept pressing, forcing his head lower and lower down my body as I spread my legs for him. I'm certain I heard a sigh escape from him as he realised what I was going to let him do.

A soft breath wafted over my pussy as he blew on it, hot breath tickling. His face lowered and his lips brushed against mine, but these were my lower lips, forbidden. His tongue snaked out and lapped up the entire length of my slit in one slow movement. Oh fuck that felt so good, why had I not let him do that before? It wasn't dirty, it was glorious. I had been so silly before, all the pleasure I had denied myself.

His tongue continued to explore and please me in equal measures, probing and swirling deep in my core, then licking up and down the entire length of my pussy lips. Alternating time and time again, driving me higher and higher on the incline to the oblivion of sexual ecstasy.

His mouth found my clit and sucked on the hard little nub for just a second and shot me off into a shuddering climax. If we had stopped there I would have died happy. I screamed and shouted and thrashed and bucked as thick juices poured out of me. I knew they were coating his face, but he made no move to pull away, he just kept licking and sucking on me. I don't know how long my orgasm lasted or if I had more than one, but it was the greatest feeling I had ever experienced. There was more to come though.

As I calmed down, Jonathan kissed his way up my body, nipping slightly as he did. I don't know where he had learnt all these little tricks to please a girl, but I was glad he had. As he got higher I knew that he was going to kiss me and I was going to taste my own juices on his lips and tongue. That was something I had never done before, I had never licked my fingers after making myself cum. I'd always wiped them clean before.

Well, it didn't taste all that bad, and I just loved kissing Jonathan with the look of love in his eyes. I knew now was the time. He was lying on top of me, his body hard and strong. The feel of his flesh hot. Most of all his cock was hard and pressing against my pussy. I looked into his eyes, they were almost pleading for me to say yes. His cock rubbed up and down my slit, just as his fingers had done earlier, almost as in preparation. It pressed inside the slit, not into my vagina, not yet, but running inside my pussy lips, he kept this rubbing going for what seemed like ages. Letting me get used to the feel of his cock, almost but not quite inside me. God it was teasing.

I pulled my legs back so my heels were against my arse and rolled my hips upwards slightly. Jonathan took that as the cue he had been waiting for, got his cock at the entrance to my vagina and in one firm thrust pushed fully home, not pausing as he broke through my hymen. I screamed at the brief intense pain, then relaxed. I wasn't a virgin any-more. Jonathan, stayed still after he penetrated me, letting us both get used to the feel. Me of his cock as it stretched my pussy walls, and him as my pussy held him tight in its hot, wet, silky embrace.

His face was inches from me as he mouthed "I love you," before showering me in quick, wet, sloppy kisses, he was almost crying by then. I nibbled his ear as he kissed me then rolled my hips up at him and he got the message and pulled back slowly. I thought his cock was going to slip out he went that far, before pushing in again all the way, until his balls were against my arse.

Then we started to make love, and that is what it was, we were making love together for the very first time. Jonathan was kind and gentle, his pace was easy but at the same time forceful and leaving me wanting nothing. His cock was big enough and hard and it was hitting all the right spots. I was stretching and being filled. I knew I was lucky and not every girl's first time would be like this.

I was glad we had waited, that Jonathan had been patient with me, it made it all the better for us both, that I gave him my virginity when I was ready to do so, without pressure.

With a mutual understanding we increased the pace and not violence, but vigour of our coupling until he was hammering into me as hard and as fast as he could give and I could take. We were both panting and grunting like rutting animals by now. However there was still that undercurrent of loving in all our actions.

I wrapped my legs around him, locking him to me, making him mine, mine, mine, mine alone. He was taking some of his weight on his arms but had managed to get one free to pinch the nipple on my left boob increasing my pleasure and sending delightful signals to my pussy. A pussy which was increasingly clenching on his cock.

I sensed more than felt my orgasm build from deep within some mysterious hidden inner place deep within me building and building, I was out of control and I didn't like that, until like a tsunami it burst and I howled as I came. That would be the only way you could describe the sound that came out of my mouth, that along with curses, and implorements to Jonathan begging him to "Fuck me, please fuck me. Fuck me hard you bastard." It seems I'm vocal and crude during an orgasm. My lover, for that he was now, my lover, not just my boyfriend, did just as I begged him. Hammering hard into me time and time again, my pussy felt sore and abused as he continued to pound and I continued to climax, pussy clenching on the cock that was thrusting into me.

A split second and he changed, his body went still and stiffened as he rose higher above me and then it hit. A hot spurt of furnace hot cum left the end of his cock and splashed against my pussy walls and the entrance to my cervix. Oh my God! He was cumming inside me, and it felt so good. Time and time again a spurt of cum left his body to reside in mine. His cock was throbbing. I could feel it against my pussy walls.

Then it was all over, he let out a cry and collapsed on top of me, spent. We were both soaked in sweat, as was my skirt which was underneath us. He lay on top of me for ages, both of us stroking the other, no words were said, none were needed, until he had softened and just sort of slipped out, dragging a trail of cum after him to leak and drip down my bum crack and legs. Nobody tells you about the sticky aftermath of sex.

I rolled over and lay alongside him, snuggling into his arms as he held me tight, just staring in wonder at his face as we both came to terms with what had happened. I felt warm and safe. Why had I waited so long to have sex, why had I denied him for so long? I actually asked him those questions as we lay there together.

"You didn't wait, Carol, we waited. We waited until you were ready, until you felt right, that' all. You didn't deny me, I was happy to wait until you were ready because I knew that would make it better for you, that would make it better for me. If I pushed too hard it would probably ruin it for you and for me as well."

How did he know those things? He was only nineteen at the time, he was too young to be that understanding. Jonathan told me later that his first time had been with an older married woman, and she had taught him what to do and how to do it. That was why he knew what to do and how he had managed to stay so in control.