Mutual Benefits Ch. 01

Hey Taylor. This is Quinn. I wanted to

Wait. Why the fuck was I telling her it was Quinn when she could easily deduce that?

Hey Taylor. I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for the situation earlier. I didn't mean to not speak in front of you, and I will put my best effort into not letting it happen again. I do not have much experience speaking in front of girls, or people, or

Nope. Too real. Tone it down.

Hey Taylor. Sorry for being silent earlier. I don't have too much experience talking to people. I'll try to get better. This is weird for both of us, right? I didn't want it to come across like I don't care. We're going to make sure you pass data management, I promise.

I stared at the message for a minute solid before shrugging. Absolute worst-case scenario, she'd think I'm weird, call it off, and I'd be back to where I was. I hit send, then walked to the kitchen, where Kevin and Mother were busy making dinner.

"Quinn! How was school?" my Mother asked, expecting a report.

"I'm doing well," I answered. "I'm tutoring another student in math class. Data management. I guess that's neat."

"Tutoring? Are you getting pay?" Mother asked me.

"No, I don't think so. It's just an incentive thing."

"You're not getting pay?"

Here we go. "No, Mother, I'm not getting paid for it."

She turned around. "If you're not getting pay, that is you saying your skills are not worth money, not worth value. How many time have I asked you, are you going to get a job? I don't ask you because I want an empty house, you know. I ask because this is the best you can be."

"I know, Mother. I'm sorry. I don't think I can ask for pay for tutoring, though. It... was kind of put upon me. I didn't get a chance to say n-"

"If you want to say no, you say no," Mother practically barked at me. Kevin was trying to hide his grin. "Then you use that time and print out a resume and you get a job. A job that gives pay." She turned back to her cooking. "Go clean the table."

I quickly went to clear the table, even though it was probably a good hour before dinner. Mother switched to Mandarin, still addressing me. "Do you want to earn yourself a good life? Do you want a good job, a good family, a good life?"

I sighed. "Yes, mother, I do."

"Don't sigh at me. I ask because you are making the wrong choices. You need to make the right choices."

Everyone has this weird stereotype about Asian parents that they expect their kids to be doctors or lawyers and get perfect As. That wasn't really true, just almost true. My parents were actually really supportive of me getting the job I wanted and they knew that if I ever got poor grades, that was more reflective of my dumb 'whitey' teachers (their words, not mine) than of my own skill. But at the same time, after they set the standard for me, I could never go home empty-handed, or else... well, what just happened would happen.

After supper, I went back to my room and drew for a while. After an hour or so I felt my phone vibrate - it completely startled me. I pulled out my phone to see a message from Taylor - ok :)

I smiled to myself at the irony.

***

"You don't have to speak," Taylor told me with a smile when we met after school Thursday. It was the first thing she told me. Honestly, it kind of stung. I didn't want me to be this hard to talk to either.

Instead of protesting though, I shrugged and nodded. Taylor continued. "I was thinking that maybe we could go to the local library. The one at school closes around four. Is that okay?"

Again, I shrugged.

Taylor beamed. "Great, let's go! I'll drive." With that, she started walking down the hallway, the perfect preppy schoolgirl. Even her walk oozed that teenage sexiness that made every guy either turn his head or have to think very hard about not turning his head. I slunk behind her, trying not to seem like I was going with her - either to help her reputation, or to avoid the trope of some jock going, "Hey, is he following you? Is he harassing you?" and beating me up or something.

The only person that stopped to talk to her was one of her friends. I didn't recognize her, but of course, Taylor did. They chatted for a few minutes, then Taylor offered her a ride home, which I figured was on the way to the library. Hey, I wasn't even in a position to talk - what was I going to do, complain?

It was still relatively early in the semester so we were met with brisk, cool air when we went outside. Taylor and her friend - I think her name was Morgan - chatted about something or other as we approached her car.

Of course it was a convertible. Of course it was red. Of course there was an empty Starbucks cup where I was going to sit - it was already clear I was going in the back seat.

"Why's he coming along?" Morgan asked, insultingly only noticing me when I was waiting outside the car.

"Oh, he's my new tutor. He's Quinn Shen, Kevin's brother."

"Oh, hi, Quinn! Nice to meet you."

I smiled and nodded. That was good enough for Morgan. Soon everyone was seated, and off we went. Surprisingly, Morgan's place was actually fairly past the library, so we ran a good chunk of time behind schedule. By the time we even got to the library, it was around the time the school library would be closing.

The timing issue didn't seem to bother Taylor. Once we got to the library, she wordlessly hopped out and I meekly followed, and she found us a table at which to study.

"Okay, so, data management," she began. "How long do you think it'll take to catch me up?"

I had rehearsed for this. I looked down at the table and formed a pyramid with my hands at my forehead so I wouldn't see a hint of Taylor. For good measure, I covered my eyes. "Th-that all depends on how much you'd say you know right now."

"Oh hey, he talks," she quipped.

"My brother bet me ten bucks I couldn't talk to you," I quipped back. Kevin and I made no such bet.

"Really? Why?" she asked, oblivious.

"Never mind. So, how much do you know?"

"Um..." I heard the sounds of her book opening. "I... fuck... I don't know. This whole thing just kinda, like, confuses me."

I removed the pyramid and looking up, my eyes scanning her book. Introduction. Oh boy.

***

"And that's all a factorial is. Just take the number and multiply it from all numbers that came before it. So, five factorial is five times four times three times two times one. But, see, any number times one is just... that exact number. So, really, it's five times four times three times two. Five times four is twenty, times three is sixty, times two, one-twenty."

Taylor nodded along, her brow furrowed.

"Your turn. What's four factorial?"

She thought for a second. Okay, so it's just the same thing, right?"

"The same formula."

"So, it would be... four times three times two times one."

"Good! Now try to solve it."

"Four times three... that's... twelve, right? Okay, so, like, twelve times two. ...Twenty-four. Times one is... is still twenty-four, right?"

"So what's four factorial?"

"Twenty-four?"

"You got it!" I replied, looking up at Taylor with a smile. As soon as she met my smile with her own, my eyes immediately darted away.

A beat of silence passed. "...No offense, but am I doing something wrong?" she asked. "Like, I get you don't talk to people much, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm hurting you."

I didn't like to admit it, but looking Taylor in the eye made me hard. I was eighteen, but still a teeanger; a teenager that didn't have any kind of experience to boot. I shifted uncomfortably before doing the hand-pyramid-looking-down thing again. "No, you're okay. This is just a lot to adjust to. I'm sorry if this is - I - I'm sorry if this is weird."

"I mean, it's a change of pace so that's neat," she managed. I could still feel her eyelashed brown eyes on me, her confused chipmunk smile probably still on her face. "But that's probably enough for today. Do you wanna maybe, like, do this weekly, or...?"

"That's up to you," I immediately and flatly replied. "I'm your tutor. We can do this as often or... not often as you wish."

"Yeah, but I don't want to cut into any plans you have, or like if you wanted to hang out with someone or something." I remained silent, and she caught my drift. "Oh, come on. I know you said you don't talk to people much, but there's no way you don't hang out with friends occasionally or at least do something."

"I don't. Apart from school, my schedule is fully open."

"Really? You don't do even, like, a chess club or a book club or kung fu or something?"

After the smile I gave her earlier, that was my second instance of emotion I showed with her. My gaze slowly shot up to her, eyebrows raised yet eyelids lowered, a sarcastic smile on my face. "Kung fu? Really?"

"Ah, shit," she cursed, dragging a hand down her face, looking guilty. "Sorry, first thing I said. I mean, first thing I could think of. I mean..."

"I get it, I get it," I soothed her.

"I didn't mean to get all... I mean, I didn't..." She put her head in her hands and put both elbows on the table. "...yeah," she finished.

"I have never taken a martial art class in my life. Nor piano, nor book club or chess club. Oh, and my parents aren't expecting me to become a doctor." I added the last part with a chuckle.

She joined in, albeit guiltily. "Yeah, sorry," she repeated. "So wait, what do you, like... do after school?"

"Go home, do chores, then whatever. Sometimes I draw, I play video games... whatever every other high school student does after school, minus the hanging out part, apparently."

"I bet minus the homework thing too, unless that's another stereotype," she replied humorously, pushing the envelope.

I was still looking at the table, but I let a smile slip. "Some stereotypes have truth to them," I admitted.

"For someone who couldn't, like, talk an hour ago, you're adopting well," Taylor observed warmly.

"Practice helps," I admitted. "If I'm going to spend an hour with anyone I'm going to say at least some words by the end of it. This is tutoring for you, not speech therapy for me."

Taylor thought to herself. "...Wouldn't speech therapy mean you are going to be better at talking by the end of it?"

"...Huh. Okay, you got me." I hadn't noticed it yet, but I was looking at her now, albeit not in the eye. "Either way, you're easier to talk to than I thought."

"'Than you thought?' What's that mean?" Taylor challenged me.

My gaze fell back to the table again. "No, c'mon," Taylor coaxed. "What, am I, like, scary or something?"

I didn't say anything for a while and could feel my mouth drying up again. After a bit, Taylor cleared my throat. "I won't be offended. I just want to hear the truth."

I gave a long sigh. "It's just... it's like we live in different worlds. I feel like the way you think and see the world is almost... alien to me. I've also been taught for years now that's we're in different leagues, and different worlds, and that if I so much as talk to - not just you, anyone popular - it would only be embarrassing or dangerous."

Taylor laughed. "What, you think I'm gonna get a jock to beat you up or something?" she asked incredulously.

As much effort as it took, I met her eyes with mine and gave her a serious expression in answer. "Wait, like, really? That wasn't a joke?" she asked in disbelief.

"I told you. Different worlds. And some of my beliefs are found on my own experiences."

"Jesus fuck. Okay, look, I'm not going to get some jock to beat you up. I'm not this stuck-up little princess, and if you talked to me in class or something I wasn't just going to see you as, like, some peasant or something. I don't get why I have to-"

"It's not you specifically," I interrupted. "It's just, that's the world of where I belong and what I feel like others see me as."

"So, like, because I'm popular, you're in a different... section of people?"

"If you like." I shrugged.

"Alright, well, if we're being honest, I always thought the nerds saw themselves as superior to me, and were, like, laughing at how they could easily get 90s and I actually had to try. And, hey, a lot of that comes from my own experience too."

I didn't consider that, but I wasn't actually surprised. A good number of the nerds I had hung out with definitely did have that smug reactionary 'what do the jocks even know' kind of attitude to them. It was definitely made in retaliation to a lot of bullying, but it still was a prejudice we carried too.

"Sounds like we both need to show each other that we're not our stereotypes," I thought out loud.

"Yeah, sounds like we do," Taylor replied. My perception of social cues still needed, work, because I only clued into something at this point.

"Did I offend you?"

"Kinda," she answered honestly. "It's okay, but like... I don't want to do this every week if you're just assuming I'm waiting for the, like, perfect moment to hit you or something. It's not fair."

"I don't think you're going to hit me. I'm just so used to jocks - well, all popular people - being bullies and not liking people like... people like me even associating with them. And I'm sure you know you're popular."

"Um... I know people know me, but..."

"Don't be modest," I chuckled. "Tell you what, I give you my word that anything you say about your popularity, I'm not going to use it against you and I'm not going to use it to argue you're inferior or whatever the other nerds did. I just want to hear it from your mouth."

"Weird way of saying that," she muttered. "Okay, yes, I'm popular. But that doesn't mean anything. Anyone can become popular, especially in, like, high school."

"I think it's too late for me," I pointed out.

"You probably also thought it was too late for you to talk to girls, and you've been looking into my eyes while we've talked for the past, like, minute."

I tore my eyes away again and she chuckled. "Hey, I don't mind it. As long as you don't stare or whatever, you can look at my eyes when you talk all you want, okay?"

Teen brain, activate. When she said that, there was this invisible intimacy to her words and I could feel myself reacting again, which of course, included my erection. I ended up not responding beyond a nervous chuckle.

"So, should we get out of here?" Taylor asked after a bit.

"Um, uh, gimme a bit," I stammered, grabbing the textbook and pretending to look over it, attempting to wish my erection away. "There's just one thing I gotta check, and then we can go."

"Okay," she replied. I looked over the book for a few more seconds before she spoke up again. "Did you think I was going to be embarrassed to be seen with you?"

I looked up and didn't answer. She took my silence as one. "Because I'm not," she continued. "And even if you don't believe that for my sake, you should believe it for yours."

***

I never watched porn before senior year. I knew what naked people looked like, so seeing it for the first time wasn't this huge shock to my system, but I thought there was this disgrace to watching it. Something inside of me had told me, "Do you want to be the type of person that watches porn?"

But something about what Taylor said to me yesterday really resonated in me. That thing about the nerds thinking they're superior to jocks and popular kids. I always thought of it as a one-way system, but in my mind, where I'd never have to say out loud that I was wrong, I knew that in some way, she was telling the truth. There were a lot of things about me that I either did or didn't do out of ceremony, out of this belief that if I did or didn't do those things, that's what kept me feeling like, at least in some way, I was better than a jock.

My door was locked, my lights off, headphones in, and several tabs open. At first I thought I could ease my way into it with some kind of online erotica instead of pictures and movies, but that went nowhere - the first story I found took over seven thousand words to even get to a vaguely sexual place, and that wasn't promising. After a bit, I had found a website hosting videos for free, and clicked on one of them.

One of the first videos I found was of a petit, cute yet busty white girl with an innocent face slowly stripping before the camera. It wasn't exact, but it was enough to make me think of Taylor. Swallowing my nervousness, I lowered my pants as I watched this cute girl stripping, smiling at the camera.

I had experimented with masturbation before, but nothing really serious with an end goal in mind. Here, it was intentful. As I started moving my hand up and down, I found myself throwing my head back, my eyes closed and my mouth open, really only listening to the video, and picturing Taylor.

Taylor was in front of me, stripping like this girl, her cute chipmunk smile getting bigger as she was preparing to take her bra off. "Hey, I don't mind," her voice echoed. "As long as you're not a creep about it, you can, like, stare at my tits all you want," she purred.

With that, her bra came off, teasingly slowly. Her tits were a good size, but on her small frame, they looked pretty darn big. Her small nipples crowned each tit perfectly, and as she rubbed her hands up and down those tits, her nipples began responding in kind, growing hard and sensitive.

"I really like rubbing them, is that okay? Can you keep a secret like that, Quinn?" Taylor moaned. "I bet you haven't seen tits like mine before, do you like them? I really like showing them off to a guy like you."

She began pinching a nipple with one hand, sliding her other hand down to her panties and rubbing herself over her clothing. "Mmm, you've only just barely gotten used to talking to a girl, so I bet you've never seen a girl do this before. It's, like, really hot that I'm corrupting you like this."

"Are you ready to see my cute little pussy now, Quinn? I really want to show it to you so badly," she moaned as she took both thumbs and hooked them into her panties, sliding them slowly down as she moved her hips hypnotically. I could start to see her pubic hair emerge above her sinking panty line, and then, slowly, her little slit came into view. "It's small and tight," Taylor commented, biting her lip. "And I think I want something inside it right now. Can you think of anything, Quinn?"

Now fully naked, Taylor kept grabbing at her boobs and swaying her hips, occasionally looking a little lower than my eyes and eyeing my cock. "Is that for me, Quinn? Are you doing that for me? It seems like someone likes what he sees." She slowly started turning around. "But I'm being unfair. You haven't even seen my ass yet, and I want you to see it, Quinn." She arched her back as she turned fully around. Her perfect ass was on full display, angled so well that I could see her pussy without her even needing to bend over. "I know you like this ass, Quinn, and I know you want it. Jack off to me. Stroke yourself to this ass. I want you to shoot your load all over it."

She was looking back over her shoulder at me in a sultry way, and bit her lip sexily as she saw me pick up speed. "Ooh, it seems like someone really likes what he sees. What do you want to touch first, Quinn? My beautiful tits or my round, ready ass? Or maybe you'd like to get to feel your first pussy? So many choices."

"All of you," I whisper-growled out loud. "I want all of you."

Taylor smiled satisfactorily. "That's what I thought," she told me. She turned back around, sliding a hand down between her legs again - this time, there were no panties in the way. Giving me a cute puppy-dog expression, she was playing with her pussy right there in front of me, watching what I was doing and breathing heavier and heavier. Over time those breaths turned into whimpers, then small moans, qand pretty soon she was just as invested in me as I was in her.