Mutual Benefits Ch. 09

As if I had any right, I got up and marched into the middle of the room, physically separating the two, still mid-yell.

"This is stupid and has gone on for way too long," I yelled to both of them. "You're getting nothing done yelling at each other, so find a place to sit down and listen to what I have to say for a bit." Taylor opened her mouth to protest so I quickly added, "Don't argue, just do it!"

That seems to have done it. I felt good, like I was Ben Manibag when I said that or something, though realistically speaking I probably looked more like Napoleon Dynamite. Morgan didn't argue, sitting on the floor (albeit with her trademark blank-yet-displeased expression) and Taylor sat in her beanbag chair, her sourness evident on her face.

I began talking, not really having a plan in mind but feeling confidence flowing in my veins. "This situation is a lot like math in two important ways," I began. "One, the solution will be made clear if we ask the right questions, and two, if Taylor doesn't pay attention, she's doomed to just repeat the last year over again." I pointed to Morgan. "So, first question. Do you want to break up with me and never date me again?"

Morgan was taken aback by the question, though clearly equally not amused by it. "This isn't the time to ask me."

"Yes it is," I asserted.

"Well then I can only answer that I don't know," she concluded defiantly.

I shook my head. "Not good enough. But, tell you what, Taylor and I will be silent and allow you the space to think until you do have an answer." I maintained eye contact with Taylor as silence filled the room. It was a really good sign that Morgan was still willing to listen to me, and to my ideas.

Finally, Morgan spoke. "I think, given the circumstances and knowing Taylor, I'm willing to give you another chance."

I nodded, weirdly not even caring about her answer as much as where I wanted this to go, and turned to Taylor. "Can you understand why Morgan was hurt?"

"Yes, but-"

'Yes' was all I needed. "What were you trying to accomplish here, with me?"

Morgan cut in. "She was trying to break us up. That was her main goal, that's what she was gunning for, and that's a big reason why I'm giving you another chance."

Spite. Awesome. That's a reassuring reason to stick by someone. Taylor interjected, finally giving her reply. "I was trying to, like, show to Morgan how this kind of thing can, like, really fucking hurt," she said plainly. "Like, yeah, she was hurting, but I was hurting too, and it's like she wasn't even aware of it, or didn't even care, until I hurt her back."

"Taylor, that's not fair," Morgan argued. "You two were, correct me if I'm wrong, just friends with benefits. No offense, if even that. You two weren't in a relationship. A relationship wasn't even on the table for you two."

"Exactly!" Taylor almost shouted. "We weren't anything. You were something. If you asked him to be exclusive, he would have done it. Fuck, you didn't even ask and he was still like, 'oh, I dunno, what if my date wants to be exclusive and didn't tell me yet?' You didn't even care about him until I did. You didn't even have, like, an interest in him until I was doing stuff with him, just like with Derek."

Morgan sighed and softened her expression once that name was brought up. There was clearly history here. "Taylor, hey, look, I totally get why you were angry about the Derek thing, but we already talked about it. And I told you, Derek went for me first."

"So then why is this any different? Why can't you get why I..." Taylor couldn't even finish her sentence. She was tearing up.

Morgan sighed an empathetic sigh and got up, moving over to the beanbag chair. In one motion she got over to Taylor and enveloped her in a hug. A slow, understanding hug, full of support and care. It was kind of sweet to witness.

The hug lasted a decently long time and afterwards, the two gave polite half-smiles to each other, then Morgan looked at me and Taylor just thought to herself. I realized I was going somewhere with my line of questioning.

"Oh, right. Morgan, if you knew, and you were thinking about bringing Joel, why did you come at all?"

Morgan shrugged. "I fully knew, believed, and processed by that point what was going on between you two. It was easy to believe, if I can be honest. You're naive, you two were weirdly close for just studying, and I think Taylor suspected me for a bit. If she and I were going to talk about this, I'd rather it not be in school, you know? I wasn't sure if you would be here or not, but yeah, two birds, one stone. And I made the choice to come in quietly just to see for myself. That was... a choice." She got a far-away look in her eyes. "It's weird. For most people I think that would be, like, traumatizing. For me it's almost comforting if I suspect it. Confirmation, you know? 'Hey, look, it is really happening.' I'm over the shock of it, all that's left is... witnessing it, addressing it, seeing what happens next."

"And what happens next?"

Morgan shrugged. "You're the one with the questions and the solution. Keep going."

I winced sheepishly. "Actually, those were all the questions I had. I thought I would have a more concrete solution by now."

"I have a question."

Both Morgan and I turned to face Taylor, who had clearly composed herself and was ready to rejoin. "You know what's going on. You know why. Can I keep doing stuff with him?"

I scrunched up my face. Jeez, what a charmer. If nothing else, was this really only a question for Morgan? C'mon.

Morgan stood up, her steely look returning. "You still have a boyfriend, Taylor. Take some respo-"

"You were the one to tell me about him and Abby."

Morgan stopped mid-sentence at the assertion and her eyebrows eventually lowered. Still a steely look, but now... sad. Like she had been cornered. Something in their clique's logic spoke to her. She slowly looked at me, as if trying to gauge my face for a response, and gave me one of the biggest shockers of the night in response.

"Up to you, Quinn."

After she said that, with her trademark blank expression, she began walking towards the stairs. "Woah, wait," I quickly replied, chasing after her. "I can't have heard that right."

"You did," she replied calmly. "Any damage this could have done is done. I don't think doing it any more will hurt me more, and stopping won't undo the hurt. So at this point, it's up to you." She didn't even stop walking as she talked.

"So this really is okay with you?" I asked incredulously.

Morgan was at the top of the stairs, near the door, soon out be out of the room and the conversation. She turned to me and shrugged. "More like I never had this conversation in the first place. And what I don't know about doesn't hurt me. Can I go? My brother is waiting in the car." Not even waiting for my answer, or anything more from Taylor, Morgan left, leaving a stunned me and a visibly elated Taylor in the room.

"Holy fuck, did you hear that?" Taylor asked me in celebration. "We can, like, keep doing this! I mean, if you want, of course, of course."

I was still dumbfounded. I guess her reasoning was sound, but... people didn't reason like that. We were always emotional creatures, even an antisocial git like me knew that. No, this was wrong. Something about this was very wrong.

Taylor and I debriefed after Morgan left -- nothing huge, no revelations. It was mostly stuff already revealed in that confrontation, along with actual apologies from Taylor for what she did. I insisted on those.

"And you understand why what you did was wrong, right?" I asked her.

"Of course I do," she admitted. "I just... when the world is against you, you make dumb decisions sometimes just to keep feeling okay."

"And you've learned you don't need to make dumb decisions now, right?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't realize that being this dumb and petty ultimately got her everything she wanted.

"Mhm!" she nodded enthusiastically. "I'll be good. I'm so glad that things worked out like this! And hey, since they did work out like this, who knows, maybe it turns out we will keep talking over the summer after finals." She gave me a wink.

I couldn't accept that. Some part of me just couldn't. I couldn't say why I felt this way, but I felt like this was all just a big... something. Like a loyalty test. Morgan gave me a trick answer and wanted to see if I'd go along with it. Well, like hell I would. Taylor may have gotten Morgan's forgiveness, but if there was one thing I had clearly learned tonight, it was that as much as I had a primal animal lust attraction towards Taylor, she was manipulative, no matter her reasons, and more importantly, she was just secondary. Of the two, Morgan was clearly the more important one to me, and I needed to prove that -- not just to her, but to myself.