Mutual Benefits Ch. 14

"I don't get how you can say that after-"

"Text me, Quinn," he reminded me.

"No, but, this doesn't, like, it does not compute. You seemed angry with me, now it's like nothing happened."

"Yeah, after a whole week. Imagine that," he quipped. "I can pretend to be angry with you if that helps. I just felt a way, and now I've gone back to feeling my normal way. The event has passed. The feelings have passed. If you're talking about what I said to Lexi, that's just me keeping her behavior in check. I do it all the time with her. Ever since middle school, in fact."

"I guess... I guess I feel things deeply."

He took a swig of his soda. "That's gotta suck in this group."

I chuckled. "You're telling me."

"Well, okay. Quinn, I didn't mean anything by it. People were told, but to me, that had to happen. I don't want it to affect how I see you, is that good enough?"

"Well, now Taylor won't bother being in the same place as me..." I trailed off. "It hurts."

"Yeah, but, that's not my fault. Taylor was planning on cutting things off with you for a bit. I didn't only approach you, you know."

"What?!" I asked in disbelief. Taylor definitely never told me this! What else was she hiding from me? "What did she say? Tell me everything!"

Milo sighed. "It's great how I told you I'd rather call you about this, and you just ignored me." He glanced at the washrooms and leaned in to me. "Okay. You know about the party at the Love's place?"

"Wyatt Love? Yeah, I heard about it."

"Right. So, everyone who's anyone goes to that party. Go to it."

"I was already planning to. Morgan's going. She really wanted me to go."

"Great!" Milo leaned back, as if the problem was solved.

"...I don't get it."

"It's a party. A big one. Taylor will be there. If she refuses to talk to you, she can't ignore you there. Just... be tasteful. Joel will be there too. Get it?" he asked, an expectant look on his face.

"So... you can't tell me everything?" I asked exasperatedly. "I'd really like you to."

Milo smiled. "Whenever I've told someone everything, it fires back in my face. So no, I'm shutting up if that's cool."

As weird as it was, in the moment it seemed Milo was... understandable. Cool, even. I feel like I could have been him if shings swung another way or something. "Okay, I understand."

"Can I ask for some info though? In exchange for my info," Milo piped up, eyeing the washroom again.

"Weird way to phrase it," I replied slowly. "What's up?"

"Lexi. She's real cute, isn't she?"

"Um, yeah..." I replied uneasily.

"You two have been making real good friends since you got into our group, huh?" he pressed on.

I shrugged meekly. "I guess you could say that."

"Did she give you one of those, 'if you weren't dating my friend' speeches?" he asked.

"Does she give those to every guy friend she has?" I asked worriedly.

"Nah, not all," Milo replied coolly. "Some. Some, for sure."

"I would never do anything against Morgan's wishes," I added quickly.

"Relax, relax, I know," Milo soothed me.

"Okay," I exhaled. "You don't miss much, do you?"

"I miss nothing," he replied. "Nothing but net."

"It was nearly 'nothing but gutter' in the last game," I replied.

Milo smiled at me. "I'm gonna murder you next game," he replied.

"Bring it on."

***

The first time entering the Love house -- yes, people insisted on calling it that -- was like getting hit with a wall of sound. Apparently Wyatt and his older brothers were famous for throwing parties, so even though I didn't know the guy, Morgan was going to be there and insisted I would be there too. From the noise, half of the school was there with us, notably the popular half.

Thanks to the other parties she dragged me to, I was finally getting used to a few familiar faces, and they got used to me too. After Morgan and I parted to mingle, I found my closest male friend, apart from I guess Doug, I had made through Morgan. "Hey, Thomas."

"Yo, Quinn, what's happening?" he asked, giving me a fist bump. "You just get here?"

I looked back to the living room. We were in the kitchen, but it was kind of an open concept type of house, so it was easy to see a lot of the house from any one point. "With Morgan, yeah," I replied, gesturing to her in the living room, chatting it up with some hunky guy.

"Man, if I saw my girl talking to Arin that close, I'd fucking punch his lights out," Thomas observed, looking at her.

"Do I look like I can punch anyone out, d-dude?" I asked, stuttering my way through 'dude.' I hadn't fully worked out the nicknames and terms of endearment or whatever people used with each other.

The guys with us gave a polite half-chuckle at my comment. "Maybe not, but hey, I dig the jacket. Way cooler than a fuckin' tux."

I wore a suit jacket to the last party Morgan dragged me to, and because she found it cute that I chose it, she didn't correct me. I was the main attraction of the whole party, in a 'zoo animal' sort of way. "I told you, former nerd. I don't know what to wear to parties."

"Well, you're getting better at it," he replied.

"Speaking of, who the hell is Wyatt? I've never actually met him," I continued.

"Wyatt? Tall guy, baby face. Ginger as fuck." Thomas whirled his head around, looking for him. "He's probably in his room with some girl. The dude doesn't stop flirting. It's why he even has these parties."

"So he lives up to his name, huh?" I asked. When Thomas just gave me a blank expression, I pressed on. "You know... Love... Wyatt Love..."

"Yeah, welcome to grade six, dude. That's a good joke," Thomas replied condescendingly. "None of us ever even thought of that before."

"Whatever, man," I shrugged it off.

"Anyway, if you want a beer... yo Mitchell, where's the supply?"

A douchey-looking guy with dark hair replied. "Keg's already floated, but Calvin's gone off to get some more. I think there's a cooler on the deck, but you've gotta get it yourself. First two are free, then you gotta pay. That's usually Love policy."

"Wait, Mitchell?" I repeated, knowing that name.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Were you the guy that dated Crystal this year?"

He laughed to the group. "Yeah, fuck was that ever a mistake." He turned his attention to me. "You hang out with her a lot, right? You're fucking brave, man. She's so-"

"You shouldn't have sent her underage nudes around the school."

He stopped in mid-sentence. "Is that why you came here, to start shit?" he asked with some heat. "Time and place, man. Butt out."

"Yeah, time and place, Quinn. Not at a party," Thomas added. "No need to white knight for her."

"She was really upset by that. I hope you haven't done that with anyone else," I continued.

"Wasn't this like five or six months ago?" one of the guys chirped.

"Who even is this guy?" Mitchell asked Thomas.

"Quinn, not cool. Just... lay off the offense, we're here to have a good time. We got some dirt on your girlfriend too, but that's in the past. I think you've been hanging around the girls too much if you get what I'm saying," Thomas replied.

"I just wanted to say that. It felt important to say," I half-mumbled. I did feel cringey, but at the same time... I wanted to say it.

Clearly none of the guys were as affected by my words as the girls usually were. They just stood around, taking sips of their beers, clearly not impressed with me. "Maybe you should go say hi to some other guys or something," one of the guys suggested.

I sighed through my nose. "I just wanted to say that, that's all."

"We get it, dude. You said what you wanted to say. Now why don't you fuck off? Go get a beer, loosen up." another guy piped up.

I stood dumbly for a second or two. "See you later, Thomas," I finally sighed as I walked past them. I had no regrets saying what I said, and maybe it wasn't right to bring up an old wound like that, but what was I going to do? Not defend my friend? I had to say something.

Despite not planning on drinking, I wandered out onto the deck anyway. It was a quieter part of the party, and of course, sitting on the cooler was, who else, Taylor Wise.

I looked at the ground as soon as I saw her, but it was clear she already saw me, and for whatever reason, wasn't at all pretending to look anywhere but at me since I arrived. Joel was nowhere in sight, so at least I knew she wasn't... planning anything? Would she do that?

"Hey," I awkwardly began.

She gave me a polite smile but didn't respond in any way beyond that.

"It's nice to talk to you again," I continued. She still didn't reply, so I pressed on. "Right, yeah, sorry. I heard you were thinking of cutting me off even before it hit the fan, huh?"

Taylor's smile faded. She still said nothing.

I coughed nervously. "Do you mind if I grab a, uh, drink out of there real quick?"

She just stared at me, finally speaking. "I really don't want to give up my seat. I'm comfy here."

"Come on, don't be difficult," I protested.

"I could say the same to you," she quietly replied. It wasn't a defiant voice; if anything it was weak.

I opened my mouth to reply but nothing came out. I looked around in exasperation, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joel, from inside the house, watching me like a hawk eyes its prey. No evil, no malice, but steely determination, never blinking. I was clearly already making scenes since I came here -- I hadn't really done anything but that. Without another word, I sighed and walked away, trying to avoid Joel's gaze as I worked my way back into the house.

Parties were weird beats when I first got introduced to them, and needless to say I had a slow start with this one, but I eventually got into the groove. After a few awkward encounters, I had a fun time watching an already-too-drunk guy named Jackson attempt (and fail) the whole "pull a tablecloth off a table without moving the plates" thing, which launched into an enthusiastic conversation with the guys crowded around him. Thomas was there, and he seemed okay with me, though he seemed to keep his distance more than other parties.

Afterwards, I found out there were video games in the basement, and I was set. Unfortunately, the Love family seemed to grow up with Nintendo and not Playstation, but nobody's perfect, and I attempted to have the best fun I could with Super Smash Brothers and Mario Kart instead of my usual choices. By the time I'd gone upstairs to find some water or something, I'd played a few rounds, watched a few others, and even made a few new friends.

Halfway through filling my cup with water from the sink, I felt some hands around my waist. I smirked. The arms felt too low to be Morgan's.

"Hey, Lexi," I replied, not even looking at her yet. "Having fun?"

"Mmmmh," she moaned into my jacket, moving drunkenly back and forth. I laughed, paused, and handed her my water, figuring she needed it more than me. After getting a second cup for myself, we made it to a couch in the living room, and after taking a long drink, she started going off about boys.

"Thiss par'y iss'a best one, like, oh my god, like..." Lexi was chanting in this high-pitched voice, eventually flopping down on my shoulder. The other couch was occupied with some couple making out, which I couldn't help but stare at. It was a guy and a girl, and she was sitting on top of him, stopping just shy of grinding on top of him, both of their tongues visible if you watched long enough. On some level, I was disgusted, but on another... I was reminded of the movie theater. I missed Morgan. Where the heck had she gone off to? Well, I guess I went off to the basement, so I couldn't be blamed.

Lexi was also watching the couple with interest. Audible interest. She was practically whining watching them, no doubt her own hormones getting the better of him. "You know wha' fuckin'... fuckin' sucks?" she shouted over the music in the living room.

"What sucks?" I asked.

"Fuckin' Jacob is a no-show!" Lexi complained. I smirked. Jacob was Lexi's most consistent 'dick appointment,' as she called them. Some lucky sophomore guy that looked and acted like a senior. No doubt he could get any girl he wanted, but he came with quite the appetite to every party he went to, so at this point, Lexi sought him out. The fact she clung to me in the kitchen was basically her way of confirming he either left the party early or was a no-show at this point.

"I'm sorry for your loss," I joked. "Well, hey, you're at a party, there are boys everywhere. Look at them!" I gestured to the couple. "That could be you. Just go out and... be bold!"

Lexi gave me a tired look. "Easy fer you ta' fuckin' say," she slurred. "Girls jus' fall into yer lap."

"Well, a girl, but I guess I understand," I replied with slight confusion.

"No, like, doin' stuff with both Morgan and Taylor!" I froze as soon as she brought Taylor's name up. "Like, I know iss like, jus' blowjobs an' eating her out 'r whatever, but like... fuck, I would kill for that!!" She kept moving her arms around exaggeratedly as she spoke, but it wasn't her hands she was slapping me in the face with at the moment.

Who the fuck...? Clearly this was recently told to her, otherwise she never would have said what she said to me at the clothes store. Milo. It had to be. For whatever reason, Milo felt the need to stick his neck out again. No one else even could have told Lexi. Without another word, I got up and started marching around the house with purpose, looking for Milo.

On the second floor, I found him, making out with some goth-looking girl against a wall. The wall was lined up with couples making out, like some sort of weird hazing ritual, but luckily, Milo was at the beginning of the line, so it was easy to see him in the crowd. The music was quieter here, so with a well-timed cough, then a "Milo," I managed to get him to look up.

"Um... what?" he asked impatiently.

"Can we talk?" I asked annoyedly.

"Yeah, no," he flatly replied.

"Lexi knows about the... Lexi knows stuff she shouldn't," I told him angrily.

"Good for Lexi," he replied dismissively. "Can you leave me alone?"

"Did you tell her everything?" I demanded.

"I didn't tell her anything, go ask her who told her. She won't say me." He stared me down for a few seconds. "If you're angry, it's not with me. This moment is kinda big for me. You can text me later, but... please?"

I calmed down, digesting his words. "Okay... okay. Sorry."

"It's cool." He turned back to the goth girl he had pinned against the wall. "Where were we?" Without another word, the two resumed making out, forming one organism connected at the lips. He grabbed her leg and moved it around his waist, shoving his pelvis into hers. I shook my head and looked away, going back down the stairs.

If it wasn't Milo, there were only two options, and I didn't like either one. Actually, there was a third option -- more people knew about Taylor and myself than I thought -- and I didn't much like that idea either.

My cup was empty, and I was nervous. Not knowing what else to do, I went to the kitchen, resolving to find Morgan once I had something more to drink. Sadly, the universe had other plans for me, as I didn't notice until the sink was already running that there was only one other guy in the kitchen. Joel Lowry.

"Hey, Quinn," he awkwardly piped up.

"Hi, Joel," I replied, trying to keep my voice low and casual, though I knew it was shaking. "Enjoying the party?"

"Yup, are you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"That's good," he replied, looking off.

"Anything... anything cool going on?" I asked.

"Nope, just living, just... y'know, living..." he trailed off. "You?"

"I mean, I'm here, yeah," I replied. I was dying. "You okay? You seem... is something wrong?"

Joel looked back at me from wherever he was looking before. Eventually, he replied, "Nah, just tired. Might go home a bit early. You know, with Taylor."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate that," I replied, immediately not knowing if that was a faux pas or something.

Luckily, he seemingly wasn't the hotheaded type. "I guess, yeah," he flatly replied. "I'm gonna go look for her. Later."

I breathed a sigh of relief as he left, taking a big gulp of water. It could have gone a lot worse, but that wasn't fun. I had fun playing games in the basement, but this party was just a recipe for disaster. I shouldn't have come to it.

Feeling woozy, I went back to the same couch again and plopped back onto it. Lexi was gone, but Crystal was within eyeshot, dancing to the music. So she was here too. I wondered if she saw Mitchell or something. I alternated between people-watching and resting with my head back on the couch until I felt something touching me.

I looked down to my lap to see legs being draped across my hips, resting at the edge of the couch. Sexy, confident legs. I looked back towards the source of those legs to see Taylor, sitting on the couch directly facing me, giving me a look I couldn't quite place.

She leaned in close, smiling in a weird way. "Tonight's the night," she told me.

I paused. "What's tonight, what are you talking about?"

Taylor's smile only got bigger. She leaned in closer, and whispered in my ear, "Think of me when you do it." she retracted, squeezing my shoulder as she gave a final smile, then got up and walked away as if nothing happened, leaving me feeling like a bundle of emotions.

Did that mean what I think it meant? But... I hadn't seen Morgan all night. And we weren't even at her place. And... think of Taylor? If it meant what I thought it meant, that was bold of Taylor. Like, uncalled-for bold. I remained on the couch, almost like I was under a spell this time. Something about what Taylor said affixed me to the couch, even though Crystal and eventually Milo came and went from the area around the couch. Eventually, Morgan came into view, and, uncharacteristically for her in public, smiled at me.

"Hey babe," she greeted me, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. "Could I talk to you about something real quick? Nothing bad."

My heart started pounding as I stood up. I felt my jeans getting tighter. This could be it. Either my imagination was running wild, or Taylor was lying, or... this was it. "Yeah," I breathlessly told her as she led the way, guiding us both upstairs.

The wall was still adorned with actions of passion, with the flavor of the day being making out. It was an almost bizarre display of teenage passion, and I could do little but mindlessly follow Morgan's lead as I was guided beyond the wall of lust, as we made our way to a hallway with several doors. I was throbbing by the time we passed the final couple in the hallway, and it wasn't because I was being a voyeur.

She got to a door with a green label on the handle, and gingerly removed the label, opening the door and leading me in. She flicked on the lights and I could quickly gather this was a guest room or something. I looked around the room until I heard her close and lock the door, then looked at her in slight shock. Blushing, she smiled at me, this huge, nervous kind of smile.

I started breathing more heavily. After all this time. After making out, grinding, and performing oral on her over and over... "Tonight's the night, huh?"

She was almost welling up, still smiling at me. "You felt it too, huh?" She practically ran forward and kissed me with such passion, I nearly fell back onto the bed.

I gave her a few kisses, then pulled away. Her crotch met mine, and she could definitely feel how hard I was. "But... here?" I asked. "Not at your place?"

She shook her head. "Parents are always there. Doug's there. Doesn't feel... big enough."

I scoffed. "Yeah, speaking of..." I blushed. "You've been with-"

"Sssh," she soothed me, reaching down and beginning to fondle me. "You're everything I want. And I want you tonight. Right here, right now."