Mutual Benefits Ch. 18

Kevin ran his tongue over his teeth in thought, mulling over my offer. "Y'know," he finally began, "This seems a bit invasive, and that's me talking."

I shrugged. "I want to know what's going on."

I had a revelation when I woke up that morning. Morgan was keeping something from me, and it was clearly something affecting us, and I happened to have the one person at my disposal who I could ask to find it out. I wanted to take control over the revelations in my life for a change, and as long as Kevin could be convinced, I had the means to do it.

"I mean... I can do what I can," he replied slowly after a bit. A sly smile formed on his face. "Of course, that would mean I'd need my finger on the pulse again. Y'know, access to the local social scene and all."

"I thought of that," I replied. "There's a party happening on the seventeenth..."

"The one at Jackson's house? Well, that's great and all, but we still got the itty bitty problem of them not letting me in," Kevin rebutted.

"Taylor's taking care of that," I replied.

Kevin's mouth hung open. "Taylor," he replied in disbelief.

"Taylor," I confirmed.

"Like, Taylor Wise."

"You know any other Taylors?"

"Three, but whatever. So lemme get this straight," he said in shock, shifting where he stood. "You want me to get some dirt on your girlfriend that she's hiding from you, or maybe it's dirt on you and you don't know it, and to help me do this you convinced the hottest girl in school to get Jackson to get me on the guest list of what might be the last party of the summer?"

I gave him a weird look. "Where's the camera?" I sarcastically asked. I looked at the dishwasher and gestured to Kevin. "Did you get all that?"

"I'm just clarifying, man. Like, I dunno whether to fucking kiss you or... uh, decline. Because, I dunno, the situation is a lil' weird."

"Then decline," I replied, not budging. Kevin had been whining to me practically all summer about not having an in on the social circle. He clearly wanted any in he could get.

Eventually, he shrugged. "Well, I mean, it is what I do," he eventually conceded. "But, two things. One, I may not find out whatever the heck is going on. Some things are private, and I can't be blamed if the egg can't be cracked."

I nodded. "That's reasonable."

"Two, uh, keep in mind that you're asking me to find out a secret here. Like, Quinn, this seems like..."

"A bad idea?"

"A hundred percent a bad idea," he agreed. "Like, the genie can't go back in the bottle. What if this hurts you, or it hurts her?"

"I came to you because even after a morning of arguing, she didn't want to tell me," I replied.

"Or maybe especially after a morning of arguing," he noted.

"Yeah, I considered that," I replied bitterly. "Even though she admitted it's hurting me in the meantime."

"Drama," Kevin noted.

"There has to be another word for it," I replied. "Like, drama is just petty nonsense. This is real, and it's something, and it's affecting us and affecting our future together. It feels like so much more than drama."

Kevin thought to himself for a second, then snapped his fingers. "Oh, come to think of it, there is a word for that."

"What is it?"

Kevin leaned in and his expression turned playful yet serious. "Drama," he asserted.

"Whatever," I waved him off, picking up Nuo and petting her. "Will you do it?"

"We already agreed I would, but just... think about what I said, you know?" he asked. "I'm gonna go and, uh, thank Taylor, I guess."

"What, you have her number?" I asked.

He pulled out his phone and started texting one of his connections. He gave me a look and replied, "No," as if it were obvious.

***

"He was actually kinda sweet about it," Taylor begrudgingly admitted. "You still owe me big time though."

"I wouldn't need to invite Kevin if people in this group just talked to each other," I grumbled, then composed myself. "But also, I meant it when I said he was crushed. He seemed way happier for the next, like, full hour I saw him."

"If people just talked to each other?" she inquired.

"Yeah. The, uh, Morgan thing," I clarified.

"Oh" she simply said, then took her head off of my shoulder. She didn't say anything else.

"It could also really help if you even had, like, an idea what it is."

"I really don't, Quinn. I'm sorry," she replied earnestly. "But, like, she's allowed to have secrets too. Inviting Kevin is... like, I don't know if it's a good idea."

I turned to look at her and she put her hands up. "Like, inviting Kevin so he can do his thing," she clarified. "Especially since we hate it when he does that. It'll just be Kevin being Kevin, and people will get mad."

"So then why'd you invite him?" I challenged her.

"Like you said, he was crushed when the school year ended," she answered simply with a shrug. "Plus, he talked to me better when I visited you. That was nice. Maybe he's changed. But, like, the one party he's coming to that I actually approved is just gonna be him doing more Kevin stuff."

I sighed. "I know," I admitted. "But... do you want Morgan and I to break up?"

"...Wouldn't that be 'Morgan and me?'" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Well, like, you take 'Morgan and,' out of it, and you just get, 'would you want I to break up?' It doesn't make, like, sense. But then, if you do, 'would you want me to break up?' Y'know, it still doesn't make sense, but like, it makes more sense."

A smile crept up on my face. "Look at you," I remarked with admiration.

"Yeah, I'm not just a dumb bimbo or something," she teased with a smirk on her face.

I laughed and put my arm around her, and the two of us didn't say anything more for a little bit. By the time we spoke again, I had forgotten the question about Morgan I had asked her.

***

"Hua!" I said with energy, striking a pose. "What do you think?"

Morgan giggled. "It looks great on you," she said. "So that's what you're wearing?"

"What, don't approve?" I joked, sitting down on the couch with her.

"You are such a boy," she laughed. "What time did you want to leave?"

"Uh, maybe around six," I answered. "Unless we're doing the whole 'fashionably late' thing."

"Most of my friends will," she said with a shrug.

I snapped my fingers, pretending to remember. "Oh, hey, can Doug give Kevin a ride too?"

"Uh, probably," Morgan replied, getting out her phone. "Where's he going?"

"He's coming too."

Morgan slowly looked up from her phone. "What?"

"Kevin's coming to the party too."

"I... would rather if he didn't," she replied uneasily.

"I know, but he really wanted to come, and someone advocated for him, so Jackson put him on the list."

"Jackson doesn't have a list, he's Jackson."

"The metaphorical list, Morgan."

"Who advocated for him, do you know?"

I didn't want to lie or omit too much. "Uh, I think Taylor did, actually."

"Taylor," she replied in disbelief.

"Taylor," I confirmed.

"Like, Taylor W-"

"Yes, Taylor Wise," I replied impatiently. "They chatted when she came over and she appreciated some newfound effort he was putting in."

"And are you going to pretend you didn't do anything to push this?" Morgan asked.

She saw 50% right through me. I prayed she didn't bump that up to a hundred. "It's what families do," I replied after a bit. "We help each other."

"I suppose I can't fault you for that," she replied slowly.

"Just give him a chance," I said insistingly.

"Giving him a chance doesn't mean just pretending he never did anything annoying," she retorted.

"You're correct, it doesn't," I agreed. "It means giving him a chance to show he's cutting back on the annoying."

"Fine, just don't expect me to be friendly with him," she conceded.

"I appreciate how open-minded you're being," I replied warmly and went in for a kiss.

She accepted the kiss, but just looked at me after. "It feels like something is going on," she told me.

"With Kevin?"

She stared at me for a bit. "Yeah. No. Never mind. I'm sorry. I'm being dumb."

I smiled. "Are we overthinking?"

"I sure am," she replied, leaning back on the couch. "Whatever. Kiss me again."

"I thought you wanted me to make the first move," I teased.

"Yeah, and this is me telling you to," she replied flatly. "Unless you don't feel like kissing me."

I laughed and moved towards her, and she just turned away. "Nope, too late," she replied with no emotion on her face but a playful tone. "I guess you shouldn't have questioned it."

"Aw, that's no fair," I said with a pout.

"What a shame," she said with the same tone. My smile got bigger as I lunged at her, trying to grab her shoulders and at least plant a kiss on her cheek. I saw the slightest hint of a smile on her face as she brushed my face away and moved across the couch. Emboldened by her smile, I followed her, grabbing her a little more forcefully and muttering, "C'mere."

"Toooo laaaate," she practically sang with a steadfast expression, moving slightly away. I shook my head with a smile and lunged again at her, this time putting my body over hers, pinning her down as I leaned my head down and put a kiss on her lips. It was fast when I planted it, but when I pulled away, it was gentle.

"Looks like I win," I said smugly.

"I guess so," she said quietly, not moving. Neither of us moved for a bit. We just sat there, on her couch, with me on top of her, having just kissed. She didn't move a muscle, and just looked into my eyes. Slowly, I moved a hand down and stroked her cheek, and, almost afraid of my own hand, slid it down her face and around her neck.

She slowly closed her eyes and exhaled, and I gave an experimental squeeze, letting go quickly after.

She let me play for a bit, then opened her eyes, giving a light moan as I squeezed again. "Gentle but long," she told me. "The side is for blood, the front is for air."

"What's the difference?" I practically breathed.

"I think blood feels nicer. It makes me lightheaded. Air is only good for really short bursts, but also, be gentle." I nodded and squeezed again, making it last longer. She tapped my hand and I released. "But too long either way will make me pass out. It would be funny but don't do that."

"Yeah," I chuckled. "Funny." I squeezed her neck again and watched her close her eyes. Her eyes were so beautiful, and I loved seeing them stare into mine, but there was something so innocent and pure about her closing her eyes and leaving her mouth slightly open, even with my hand on her neck.

My other hand stroked her cheek slightly, then gave her a quick slap across the face. At the same time, my hand released from her neck. The effect was instantaneous; she gave a light moan and I felt her body spasm from below me. She opened her eyes slowly and looked again into mine, with this kind of fear. Not an uncomfortable fear, like she wanted me to stop. A welcoming fear.

I was already rock hard at this point. Judging from the look on her face, I could bet that Morgan was wet too. I put my hand back to her cheek and, not breaking eye contact, she nuzzled her face into my hand. Beginning to smile, I pulled my hand back and slapped her across the face, hard. She moaned, relishing the pain, red beginning to spill across her cheek. She breathed heavily a few more times, and before I knew it my lips were on hers again.

We hadn't kissed with this much passion since the movie theater. Her hands were roaming across my back and mine were in her hair, finding ways to be playfully rough with it. I began to grind myself against her and she immediately ground her pelvis into mine. I felt her hot cheek against mine, warm from my abuse. Our tongues played with each other, our bodies aching to be as close together as possible. We were lost in a sea of hormones, knowing that nothing could stop us from what our urges were begging for us to do.

A click from the front door broke us out of our trance and, at once, our mouths disconnected and our eyes shot open. In one awkward painful motion, I got off of Morgan and the two of us attempted to sit up on the couch, with our hands in our laps. We barely assumed the position by the time the door burst open and Doug marched in, clearly in a hurry. He was humming something to himself and was about to walk right past us, but stopped in his tracks.

"Not on the couch, guys," he barked disappointedly.

"I'm sorry?" Morgan replied with a squinty, confused face.

"Don't play dumb. I mean, hey, don't get me wrong, I also like sitting on the couch with my boyfriend with the TV off, with my hair a mess, blushing like fuck and both of us sitting like this." He over-exaggeratedly mimed sitting with his hands in his lap. "Not on the couch," he repeated emphatically.

"Sorry," I conceded, knowing we were caught.

"See, at least he's honest," Doug acknowledged, powerwalking into the kitchen to look for something. "Why can't you be like that, Morgan?" his voice rang from the kitchen.

I shouldn't have looked right at her when he asked that. When she looked back, her face saddened and she just looked away. "Can you drive one more person to the party tonight, Doug?" she asked, desperate to change the subject.

"No," he flatly said. "I don't want to drive over to any other places. Quinn's lucky I'm even going to his place."

"It's my brother, he lives with me," I added.

"Oh. Uh, sure then. Make sure he's ready to leave when you are," he ordered.

"Will do," I replied.

"Cool, alright," he replied, distracted, walking back to the front door. He stopped to point at us. "No making out on the couch. For fuck's sake, go to your room or something."

"Stop talking to me like that, Doug," she replied quietly, having resumed her normal face.

"Stop being so fucking disappointing," Doug shot back before walking out the door, slamming it behind him.

"That was harsh," I commented sympathetically.

She didn't say anything back for a bit. "We got a bit careless," she commented lightly.

"Yeah. I assume...?"

She chuckled sadly. "Yeah, the moment's gone," she confirmed.

"Okay," I replied, putting my arm around her and kissing her cheek, the same cheek I had been slapping minutes ago. She turned to me and gave me a small smile.

"Y'know, I love your smile," I told her meaningfully.

"I smile less than a lot of people," she replied.

"Yeah, but yours is more beautiful," I said back, kissing her cheek again.

She smiled and looked down. "I don't deserve you."

"Yeah, well, tough. I want you just as much whether you deserve me or not," I said. "So I guess you're stuck with me until the day you break up with me."

She turned to look at me, her smile fading. I nervously added, "Of course, that doesn't have to be anytime soon, y'know, no pressure."

To my relief, she laughed. "You are so on edge," she commented, kissing my lips. "Relax."

"Well I am, after all, what were your words again? 'Such a boy?'" I teased.

She smiled again. "You are such a boy," she murmured, kissing me again.

"Your boy," I added.

"Only if I'm your girl," she teased back.

"Thinking about that makes me happy," I told her earnestly. We kissed again, and I felt her tongue brush across my lips. I broke off the kiss and gestured to the stairs. "Maybe we shouldn't do that again on the couch," I pointed out.

She shrugged and turned away. "But, uh, you can put your hand on my neck more if you want," she said, trying to play it cool, never looking at me. "Like, whenever you want."

"Yeah?" I asked with a cheeky grin.

I could only see the back of her head, but I saw her lower her head and shake it. "I can hear your smile right now," she pointed out humorously. I hugged her from behind and kissed her neck, just happy to be around her. I hoped this would never go away.

***

"That doesn't make any sense," Doug dismissed as he drove. "There is a clear hierarchy in a school environment, especially in high school. If you want to pretend it doesn't exist, good for you, but you're living in a fantasy world."

"No no no, that's not what I'm saying," Kevin clarified. He opted to sit in the front seat while Morgan and I took the back. "What I'm saying is that it isn't as black-and-white as it used to be. Yeah, sure, of course there's a hierarchy, but you gotta look at the bigger picture. Cliques blend together. People aren't just jocks or nerds, this ain't the fifties. You can have a guy even be a jock and a nerd, especially at Hazelwood."

Morgan and I just looked at each other. I couldn't tell if this was exactly what I was expecting, or the exact opposite. The two continued to have their heated debate at the front of the car whereas Morgan and I hadn't said a word to each other since the car took off from my place. I stole a look at Kevin and saw a big ol' smile on his face -- he was loving this. He was in his element. I looked at Doug to see the normal dismissiveness in his eyes replaced with some kind of new feeling -- challenge? Interest? Comradery? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that if it took Kevin mere seconds to win over Doug's full attention, I felt completely reassured in what he'd be able to accomplish at the party.

***

Lexi took the news weirdly well. Especially since I was telling her at a party, the birthplace of all needless drama, I thought that the news would make her storm off. But instead...

"Yeah, I get it," she replied, shrugging. The music pounded in my ears and people were practically surrounding us, but despite that, it felt like we were the only ones in the room. "Like, I hate it, but also, I dunno, you know what's best for you and Morgan."

"Huh," I found myself saying out loud. "I thought you'd be more upset."

"I'm tipsy," Lexi simply answered. "I'm gonna have a good time tonight anyways. It's like you say, right? There's always more guys."

I chuckled. "That's one way to look at it, yeah," I admitted.

She surveyed the room. "What do you think?" she asked.

"I'm not the guy to ask. My brother is here, maybe-"

"Absolutely not," she interrupted.

"Let me finish," I ordered. "My brother is here, maybe he has a better idea of who's single and easy. You can't deny, he knows everyone."

"That's not a bad idea, but isn't it weird to go up to some guy and ask him who's easy?"

"I'm some guy, and you asked me," I pointed out.

"We're friends, it's different," she protested. "Besides, we've had sex before."

I looked around me to make sure no one had heard her, which caused her to laugh. "What, are you worried your reputation is gonna tank if the word gets out?"

"Just sick of drama," I answered flatly.

"Then stop causing it," she joked again. "But, like, seriously, congrats on knowing what you want and stuff. It's a shame we only got to do stuff a few times, but yeah, I get it. And maybe someday..."

I shrugged. "I think saying 'maybe someday' like this got me where I am," I told her. "But this doesn't change anything between us. You free Friday? We could watch a movie or something."

"Yeah, that sounds good," she said as warmly as possible with music and yelling going on around us. "I'm gonna go mingle. I'll see you later?"

"See you later," I confirmed, waving her off. I was smiling. It was comforting to have both closure and a Lexi, of all people, who wasn't stirring up shit. It was also nice to know she wanted to hang out with me after I made it abundantly clear that anything sexual between us was ending. She genuinely surprised me. Maybe a part of me even wanted to see her be a bit more upset that something we both enjoyed so much was coming to a close so early, but I knew that if I thought about that, I'd drive myself mad.

I found a quieter, less packed part of the party and surveyed the room, trying to find someone I knew to talk to (talking to new people brought me nothing but trouble at parties, as I came to accept) and saw Kevin in some other room. I couldn't help chuckling and shaking my head -- I didn't expect him to only come to this party to help me, but it was so clear he took the first opportunity possible to corner some girl and talk her ear off. Still, I couldn't help but feel happy for him. Instead of doing his normal thing where he kind of asserted dominance by leaning into the conversation, he was actually leaning back, and the girl was clearly actually interested in him. I had to wonder if my talk helped, or if this was just an ability Kevin always had to some extent. Either way, it didn't matter.