Mutual Benefits Ch. 19

"So you wanted to be better than me?" I asked with heat.

"You know what, yes! I wanted to be better than just cheating and manipulation. I wanted the whole thing to be behind us, and after the first time, I figured we could just go on and make our relationship better and never worry about it again!"

"Um, that doesn't explain the other two-" Oh. I was getting it. Stopping mid-sentence, I shifted myself in place. With a new voice, I thought out loud. "After the second time, you opened up the relationship. You encouraged me to go after Lexi."

With a sad expression, she nodded.

"To make yourself feel better about doing it with him a second time. But why'd you even do it with him a second time at all?"

"Because he's an asshole and I was addicted to him. Happy?" she spat. "Because I hate myself. Because thanks to fucking Taylor, I can't be happy in any relationship, so I may as well ruin shit on my own terms."

"Morgan, I would have been fine if you just told me what you did," I protested. "You made us open. I practically wanted you to make our relationship evenly open. If you told me that you wanted to sleep w-"

"Listen to me when I say shit!!" she interrupted. "I didn't want to sleep with him! I hated sleeping with him, and I hated myself for going back, but it was the only thing that made sense! You're just not listening! That's your problem, Quinn, you just don't, fucking, listen!" She buried her head into the couch, and judging by the way her head was moving, she was sobbing. "Why can't you get that telling you meant, like, fucking saying it? Telling you makes it real! I wanted to grow, not wallow! I'm allowed to be angry!"

"Why are you allowed to be angry and I'm not?" I demanded. "You lied to me about sleeping with someone else! I asked you if you wanted to sleep with someone, you said no, and I even asked if you and him were doing something and you said no! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Morgan nearly screamed into the couch, then resurfaced her head. "Be angry, Quinn. Walk out that fucking door and break up with me. I'm a shitty fucking girlfriend and I did shitty fucking girlfriend things. I just wanted to fucking believe I could be better than I was. I'm so fucking sorry I'm a human being."

So, Morgan had sex with Arin because she felt angry at Taylor and me, thought that would be the end of it and we could move on as a couple without me knowing, but then she had sex with him again. So, to alleviate the guilt, she opened up the relationship. Then I guess she had sex with him a third time, and sometime after, clearly got angry at him at Jackson's party.

A third time. The first time was after she caught Taylor and me. The pieces were coming together. "So that's why you were so angry when Taylor of all people kissed me."

Morgan continued crying for a few more seconds, soundlessly. After a while, she spoke. "You like her more, don't you?"

"Morgan, ple-"

"No, no. It's true. You always did." Her voice was ominously calm. "I think I just wanted to delay the inevitable the whole time. I just wanted to lie to myself. And when I couldn't lie, I'd cheat back. Well, now I can't do either. You even mentioned she brought Kevin to the party. Kevin's how you found out, huh?"

I cringed. I wasn't the only one putting the pieces together.

"And Taylor invited him." Her voice was plain with no emotion. "Son of a bitch. She's good. I guess he's good, too. I didn't expect anyone could make Arin blab, he's real good at keeping secrets."

I ran my tongue over my teeth. I could do no good at this point, showing my hand and outing Doug.

She turned to me. "So you suspected I fucked him."

"No, you just revealed there was a big thing hurting you, and it was damaging our relationship."

"And you didn't trust me to handle it on my own, huh?"

"Look where 'handling it on your own' got us. You fucked him two more times, despite you yourself claiming you didn't even like it, and lied to my face. You never lie to me."

"I've lied to you before," she admitted. "Everybody does. But Quinn... I need you to understand this... summer is ending. Arin was about to move away. I opened a fucking beer in his face. I handled it. I, like, put a band-aid over the wound, and you tore it off and picked the scab right back open."

"He would've tried again," I protested. "I've seen the way he looks at you at those parties."

"Oh, so, in hindsight, you totally knew? Why did you even need Kevin, or Taylor, or who-knows-who-else?" she spat. "For all I know, Lexi, Crystal, and Milo are in on this too. And now I guess they can all know I'm just a shitty fucking person who deserves to be alone."

"You didn't treat me right, and lied to me. Own up to it."

"You did the same, Quinn," she asserted.

"Yes I did, and I had to own up to it every fucking day. I've apologized, I've walked on eggshells, and I lived with it knowing you saw me at my lowest. Now I've seen you at yours, and what, you expect me not to get angry because I did the same? If fair's fair and you wanted to do the same thing to me, I get to hold this over you the same way you held it over me. You want to have your cake and eat it too."

Morgan got up and started pointing at me as she yelled. "If you hated how I held it over you, maybe you could understand why I was too scared to tell you, Quinn. That's why I lied, fucking gifted kid. We were finally happy, and I just had one small thing to take care of, but nope, you just had to butt in anyway."

"So what, you wanted to berate me and make me guilty for cheating on you, then cheat on me back and hope I never find out all while giving me cryptic hints and crying, and pretend me finding out anyway was the thing that stopped us from being happy?" I yelled back. "Morgan, what the fuck?! You like to pretend you're the adult of the friend group but clearly you're not. It's becoming more and more clear that you're just a fucking child."

"You just don't-!" Morgan sputtered, her arms moving in a blind fury until eventually I felt her fist forcing on my chest. I stumbled back. She struck me. It wasn't even that hard, but the fact that she did it at all left us both in pain. I rubbed my chest, feeling the soreness and betrayal coursing through me. Morgan yelled at me after I called her out for doing something wrong, then hit me.

"I didn't mean to do that," she said quickly and quietly. It was a soft voice, but it wasn't her normal voice that hid her tone. On the contrary, it was very clear what her tone was trying to hide; fear.

I stared at her for a bit, trying to figure out what I should even say. After a few seconds, I realized I didn't have anything to say, and didn't even feel comfortable speaking to her at this time anymore. Wordlessly, I turned around and headed for the door.

"Quinn... please..." her words feebly echoed to me as I walked to the door. I could tell she wasn't getting up; she wasn't chasing me. She was sitting right there, hoping I'd turn around. I never gave her the satisfaction.

***

"Did it go alright?" Taylor asked sympathetically as I got into her car.

"Um, uh, no. No it didn't. I think we might have broken up. I'm not sure. Can you drive please?" I was a flustered mess.

"Oh no, really?" she asked, her voice full of concern. "Like, what happened?"

"What happened was that she was fucking Arin to take back some kind of control after catching us. She found out she didn't like doing that but couldn't stop herself. So-"

"Wait-"

"No, you are not fucking interrupting me," I rasped. "Anyways, she felt bad about fucking Arin so that's why she even made our relationship open. Then I asked, point-blank, 'hey, are you fucking Arin?' She lied. I found out. She acted like I was the fucking bad guy. She even hit me."

"Oh my God," she murmured, processing all of that information. "I'm, uh, really sorry, Quinn."

"Yeah, so am I," I scoffed.

She drove for about another minute before piping up. "We're not going back to your place," she told me.

"Then where are we going?"

"I don't think you should be alone right now. We're going back to my place. I can ask the others to hang out if you want, but I really don't think you should be alone."

"I wouldn't be alone at my place. Kevin's there," I pointed out.

"Yeah, that doesn't make me feel any better about leaving you there, Quinn," she said with a slight smirk.

I didn't argue. I just stared out the window as she drove.

***

I collapsed on her beanbag chair, a familiar yet distant memory.

"How're you holding up?" Taylor asked, her voice full of concern.

I shrugged.

"I'm sorry Morgan did that," she offered.

"I -- we did it first," I replied.

"You didn't lie about it. You accepted the consequences. You didn't hit her. You're more grown-up than she ever was," Taylor replied emphatically.

"No, she's normally grown up. I guess she was... upset. It was uncharacteristic of her, but you should have seen her. You're right, she was acting like she was half her age there."

"I think I've seen it before, yeah," Taylor replied with a nod. "But, like, I never broke up with her, obviously. I can't imagine what you're going through."

"I don't even know if we broke up," I thought out loud. "I just left."

"Well, that doesn't mean it's a breakup," she replied.

"It could. Context. You'd have to be there."

"Well, do you want to break up with her?" she asked slowly. She sat down in front of me, studying my eyes.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"What do you want then, do you know that?" she asked.

"I don't have that luxury," I chuckled. I looked up at her and saw that she was holding the vodka bottle.

"Do you mind if I?" she asked.

"How would I get home?"

"I can run up and ask my mom, if you wouldn't mind that."

I chuckled again. "You pick the oddest times to get tipsy," I remarked. "Sure."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

"Oh, I just meant... I'm just worried about... y'know, you being tipsy around me."

She gave me a confused smile. "Why? I've been tipsy around you before."

"Yeah, but usually that led to us fooling around."

"Yeah, but we're not fooling around now, not with the relationship troubles, right?"

"I'm not in a relationship right now, Taylor."

The silence was deafening. Taylor looked at me, at first confused, then meaningfully. "...Yeah?" she eventually asked.

"Sorry, that was dumb," I backpedaled. "I didn't mean to -- I was talking out of turn."

"No no, I get it," Taylor softly replied. "I mean, you just went through a tough moment, and you might be single now and that can hit you hard. Everyone wants a..." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "...Rebound."

"But, like... so soon? It shouldn't happen, you know?"

"Are you telling me to back off? Because I will," Taylor replied.

I paused, then looked at her. "Why, is there something you'd be backing off from?"

"Quinn, I dunno if you want me to be the bigger person here, but I won't be. If you pictured me giving some big speech about how I've grown and our friendship would be better if we didn't have sex, you're picturing me wrong."

"I didn't mean to come to this basement to proposition you," I murmured.

"Neither did I," she replied. "It kinda says something about how it just happened, and how it happened so quickly."

"But what about Morgan? Won't this hurt her?" I asked.

"If it does, if the story you told me is true, she'd be the biggest hypocrite on the planet. And maybe you two won't ever talk again. Maybe you will, but, like, y'know, you can't base everything on..."

"...'What ifs,' yeah," I concluded. We stood up at the same time, and slowly, I grabbed the vodka bottle. "Okay, so, uh... let's maybe lose this. I don't want you to drink tonight, if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine," Taylor said in some kind of new voice. I put the vodka bottle on the ground, then put my hands on her waist. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, then I chuckled nervously, looking away.

"What?" she asked.

"It's just silly," I noted. "Like, days ago, this wasn't a big deal, but now..."

"Well now, I want all of it," she told me, boldly but quietly. "But I don't want you to do it unless you want it too."

"Taylor, I wanted it for a long while now," I protested. "I just held back."

"Don't hold back," she said, her voice just above a whisper. We closed the gap between us, and before long, my hands went from her waist to grabbing her ass as we started open-mouth kissing.

I hated how good and right it felt. A part of me wanted it to feel wrong immediately, to push her away and run off towards Morgan's house or something. There was no such luck. I felt like melting into her, and judging from the moans she was making, Taylor felt the exact same way.

As desperate as we were to feel each other's bodies and to attack each other's mouths with our tongues, we were content to kiss for a while. The context of our school had melted away. Every drop of context was gone. The most anti-social nerd in the school wasn't kissing the most popular girl -- Quinn Shen was kissing Taylor Wise, and it was clear that both of them had been longing for it for so long, whether they wanted to admit that to themselves or not.

Taylor's hands were moving all over my body in a frenzy. Her pelvis began desperately grinding against mine. She broke the kiss and leaned into my ear, never stopping her grinding. "Quinn, this better not be a fucking joke," she breathed. "I want it. I want this to finally happen."

I could only grunt back, grinding myself back against her pelvis. "I've wanted to fuck you for so long, Taylor," I found myself admitting. "And tonight, whatever happens, I'm single. Even if I'm not tomorrow, I'm single now. We both want this."

She moaned. "I want it, so badly," she pleaded.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I shoved her against the wall. Taylor and I had done cute little innocent acts up until this moment, but now, it was no holds barred. Taylor moaned, feeling my body against hers, pinning her to the wall. I moved her shirt up her waist and caressed the bare skin of her midriff, giving her neck kisses and bites, listening to the rhythmic sounds of her panting. I wanted to taste all of her. I wanted her.

"Fuck, you've gotten better at this..." she panted. "Show me everything you've learned, Quinn."

Stepping back, I teasingly slapped her across the face. "This isn't what I learned, this is what I can do," I growled. "Tonight, I'll-"

Taylor gingerly caressed her cheek and with her other hand, held up a finger to interrupt me. "So, uh, I like your spirit, but I'm not sure I'm into this," she complained.

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course, sorry," I replied, instantly deflated.

"Don't be!" she instantly replied. "Let's just be... softer. I'm okay with, like, really wanting it, but maybe let's not make it violent or overly dom-subby. On, like, either end."

I smiled sheepishly. "Deal. Uh, sorry again."

"Don't be, don't be!" she soothed. "Is the moment ruined?"

"I'm good to go if you are," I told her.

She flashed a smile. "Me too." We closed the gap and began kissing again, tame and polite at first, to get back into the swing of things. Before long, like two teens in lust, we were making out, grinding up against the wall, and moaning about how badly we wanted each other again.

Taylor made eager whimpers and moans with her body pressed up against the wall. I remembered worrying about my chest against hers if she gave me any friendly hugs in our early days, and now, without shame, our chests were smashed together. Even with a bra on underneath her shirt, her breasts felt so good pressed up against me. Our bodies clicked naturally, and felt so right together.

It's just that our pesky clothes were in the way. We quickly worked to solve that problem, and eventually both of our shirts and Taylor's bra were on the floor as we continued to make out, enjoying the feeling of skin on skin.

"Your skin feels so good against mine," I moaned in between our kisses.

She smiled cheekily. "You're quite the sap, Quinn," she teased. "I would have thought you'd immediately start giving the girls attention again."

"The girls...?" I asked obliviously, before Taylor held her modest breasts in her hands for my attention. My expression turned from confused to mischievous as I dove down, eager to show Taylor just how much I had grown since my mouth was last on her nipples.

I went easy on the teasing, since it was clear how badly she (and I) wanted it. Anything that made Taylor coo and moan, I was happy to do it. Taylor leaned back against the wall for support as I rolled my tongue around her nipples, sucked and lightly bit, trying to combine my newfound experience and every detail I remembered about what set Taylor off.

Taylor was hot as a firecracker, or I was doing everything right. She had one hand against the wall and the other on the back of my hand, moaning things like, "Oh, Quinn, that feels so good," or "Oh Quinn, why did we ever stop doing this?" She was in a world of her own.

At the point where she couldn't take it anymore, she brought me back up by my shoulders and kissed me deeply, smiling at me after.

"Blowjob or main event?" she practically breathed.

As eager as I was to finally be inside her, I couldn't resist sporting a little grin. "I want to taste you too. How about we do five-ish minutes both sides?"

"What, are we cooking a steak? You're going to fucking kill me here," she muttered with a laugh. "Fine, get your fucking pants off."

"Nope, we're doing you first," I replied forcefully, still with a smile. Taylor blushed a deep red and muttered something I couldn't hear, then started to work her pants off.

I forgot what a beautiful sight Taylor Wise naked really was. She wasn't just gorgeous with clothes on; her body perfectly complemented her cute innocent little chipmunk face in every way, and it just made me realize how fucking lucky I was to get to have sex with her. Here she was, naked and blushing, eager to have sex with me after all this time.

"Against the wall or on the ground?" I asked, barely recognizing the confidence in my own voice.

"Fuck, you're hot," she purred. "Um, ground, probably." She got into the position on the ground and I, pants still on, knelt down before her, prying open her legs and winking at her before lowering my lips to her inner thighs. I swear I could see her shiver from my wink before my lips even made contact with her.

Taylor was so needy, she started moaning from the moment I began to eat her. Both hands were on the back of my head and her mouth was fully open, her eyes gazing up to the heavens. My tongue danced on her throbbing little clit, my fingers alternating between curling to reach her G-spot and pumping in and out of her. I did my best to listen for every signal and reward every squirm. I wanted Taylor to see me as a God, if only for one night, and I wanted her to cum.

Luckily, the latter was clearly being arranged. It helped that Taylor taught me herself to make her cum, and I had a sneaking suspicion it was easier to make her climax than other girls, but from her whimper-moans, her gyrations, and particularly from her "Fuck, Quinn, I'm cumming"s, Taylor was having the ride of her life on my tongue.

It was clear I had made an impression on her. I may as well have blinked after her climax and in that time she managed to reverse our positions, with me on the ground, and her tearing open my fly, moaning that she needed my dick again.

When it was released, Taylor all but had cartoon hearts replacing her eyes. I may not have been the most well-endowed guy on the planet, but I knew right then and there that Taylor had never looked at another guy's junk the same way she looked at mine. She didn't waste any time bothering to tease me, and went as quickly to deepthroating as humanly possible, eager to give me the same treatment as I gave her.