All Comments on 'My 20th High School Reunion Ch. 01'

Very well thought out, written, and presented. Keep going.

nice flow, great buildup, fantastic finish!

Great build up! Take the gummies in part 2!!

...is it the 20th or 25th reunion? Good story, in any case.

...interplay, but certainly gets the job done in the HOT zone.

I would love to see where this goes, although the gummy bear reference is lost on me.

Good dialog and characterization. I rarely feel comfortable rating higher than a two or three stars, you got four. I have only ever given five stars four or five times. Those were tales that should be mainstream, but were epic works, not short stories.

Very enjoyable. I hope you'll offer the suggested second episode.

You might consider writing a more sweeping, broader story. Something larger than 10 installments, but not the 30 installment sort that tend to lose readers over continuity. Most readers can't keep track of the storylines and twists and turns, the continuously growing list of characters and other issues presented by those overly long stories.

Yup, I think you'd do well in the "train-ride" novella scale stories. Long enough and interesting enough to engage and keep us, but not so much that we get lost.

Oh, and for those, you can only use this macro-focus stuff for a page or two and only two or three times in the whole story.

That said, mind your technicals with more careful editing and occasional reading out loud to make sure the dialog sounds real and natural to the ear.....and you'll rise quickly.

Please continue!

Thank you.

I don't know if its the 20 or 25th but I just reread it and got

a hard on! I feel another chapter cumming shortly!

well written we could feel the passion