by sourdough999
Enjoyed this a lot. A little editing/proofreading might be in order but the story itself shined through the rough spots just fine. Looking forward to reading all your work next.
Thanks.
I really liked this story, my one complaint is that it is too short, could you rewrite it and make it 10 pages long (with extra plot of course).
K.
Very Good. Good leason for women like Lisa, who jerk you around,
than get pissed when you stop buying their bullshit and move on.
Bravo
Why the hurry? So you developed a storie line and started to write. But why not take the time to flesh out your characters a bit and develop the "scenes" some more. I am sure that would make it a better read. Keep on with the good work. Regards Umberto.
Was happy to see him kick his Lisa habit, but would have liked to see him spend maybe a week or two in winning his anime girl. Still, its a good enough story that I wish there was more.
Refreshing !!!! To bad more men and women would give themselves permission to move on. To many keep staying thinking it will work out. Of course if it hadn't been for Lisa setting it up they may never have met.
Good story!