My Annoyingly Hot Mom & Prom

PART 1: MAKING AN ENTRANCE

(RICKY)

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Prom had officially started an hour ago. The cheesily decorated Mariott ballroom was filled with my fellow senior class members popular enough to have dates. Unlike the nerd from the A/V club currently sitting at the light & soundboard in the wings of the stage where the Prom King and Queen would be crowned. Since he didn't have a date, he was pretending to be going over the knobs and buttons he'd be responsible for cueing lights and music for the prom's traditionally big moment.

Did you guess that nerd's me?

I'd just checked my watch when I heard the sound of high heels CLAK CLAK CLAKING into the ballroom at slow, leisurely pace. I could see the attention of more than half the students on the dance floor before the stage and even at the first row of tables, all turning to the open double doors. The moment I was dreading was upon me.

Finally making her arrival was my annoyingly hot mom, Claudia - prom chaperone.

From my spot sitting behind the light & sound board in the wings at the side of the stage, I had the perfect sightline to watch Claudia walk into the ballroom. Just as I suspected, she was using the opportunity to do one of the things she does best: show off. Thanks to the "cosmetic enhancements" and "beauty rejuvenating" Claudia splurged on last year after she divorced my dad, She calls it her makeover. I call it her "fakeover."

And that's all fine and well if she had gotten the fakeover and that's that. But pretty soon after Claudia had began to get noticed by everyone here in Royal Estates where she moved us after her "cosmetic enhancements" her whole personality and attitude changed. Claudia is so snobby and acts like she's such a know-it-all. She acts rude to people she thinks are beneath her and almost seems to enjoy being bossy to people in public. Including her own son, me.

Looking at her soaking up the attention as she made her fashionably late arrival, there was no doubt Claudia certainly had dialed up the glamour. Her pink satin strapless gown hugged her figure all the way down to the floor length hem. The length of then fitted gown prevented her from taking full strides, forcing her to take tiny, half steps in her sky-high heels that when glimpsed, I could see matched her gown.

Her Barbie-blonde hair was styled perfectly, the loose curls cascading past her bare shoulders, and the tresses caressing the top of her paid perfection cleavage that due to her shorter steps, were slightly yet firmly bouncing in rhythm to her heels sharply echoing off the ballroom floor.

PART 2: PRETTY IN PINK

(CLAUDIA)

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"Hello, everyone!"

Claudia Boyce beamed with pride as her arrival into the ballroom turned the heads of practically all of the students in attendance. It was a special night for all of them. One that she was part of in many ways. After all, she was the one who took it upon herself when she took over as PTA President to make sure this year's Senior Prom would be held someplace with more class than the school's drab auditorium.

Placing her hands clad in the to-the-elbow opera gloves matching the eye-catching pink of her expensive Valentino strapless gown on her hips, she surveyed the ballroom around her while giving off a demeanor suggesting she was unaware of the attention her fashionably late arrival was generating.

What Claudia truly was clueless to was how the gesture of putting her hands on her hips had caused the low cut strapless neckline of her gown to boost her impeccable cleavage higher. Keeping her hands placed where she'd put them gave the impression to everyone in the ballroom the hot mom volunteer chaperone was doing it on purpose.

With more heads turning her way when she put her hands to hips, Claudia knew the couldn't continue giving the illusion she wasn't aware of being the center of attention. Her smile grew wider and she let her gaze sweep across the sea of faces in front of her. There was no denying the snooty sense of pride Claudia exuded.

Claudia sounded as if she were addressing the students in the ballroom like a queen to her subjects. "Is everyone having a wonderful time?"

PART 3: BACKSTAGE BANTER

(RICKY)

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Principal Dern and Mrs. Storch - the sociology teacher & prom supervisor - talking were standing in the wings backstage, observing my annoyingly hot mom's arrival.

"Well look who finally decided to show up. Over an hour late, no less. And just look at that gown she is wearing. The nerve!"

"In this case, Alice, I might say it was worth the wait"

"Principal Dern, may I remind you of the nuisance that uppity blonde bimbo has made of herself throughout the entire semester with her constant meddling into administration's prom planning committee?"

"Yes, how can I forget? She did act like a -"

"Stuck up bitch?"

"Alice! Take it easy, her son is right over -"

"Relax, Charles. The kid's got those damn earbuds in his ears like everyone his age. Besides, I'm sure he's thought the same thing about her."

While I did have my earbuds in, the only thing I was listening to were then two adults talking about Claudia. The truth is, as much of a crabby lady Mrs. Storch can be all the time, she wasn't wrong. It was definitely something I found myself thinking a lot after Claudia's "fakeover."

"Well, I better get down there and get her acclimated."

"Is that what you're calling it. Charles?"

"What? Alice, listen -"

"I'm going to join you in welcoming Princess Look-At-Me. Do you mind, Principal Dern?"

The tone in Mrs. Storch made it clear Principal Dern didn't have a choice. Whatever it was "Crabby Alice" had on Charles "Not In Charge" had to be pretty big for the way the sociology teacher had power over Thomas High's principal.

"No," Principal Dern replied, crestfallen, "not at all, Mrs. Storch."

PART 4: PRINCESS LOOK-AT-ME

(CLAUDIA)

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"Claudia, so nice of you to finally arrive."

Upon hearing her name and instantly knowing who was approaching from her right, Claudia placed one hand on her hip and turned, tilting her head and putting her perfectly practiced bitchy pout on her glossy lips to face Alice Storch emerging from the Senior Prom students, Principal Dern sheepishly in tow.

"I wouldn't expect you to know what fashionably late means, Alice," Claudia countered, her tone telegraphing her annoyance at Alice's authoritative attitude.

Alice ignored the remark. "I hope it wasn't the additional thirty minute drive to this hotel you insisted on."

"Then car service I hired only took twenty to get me here," her haughtiness in face of Alice's authority drew more turned heads in their direction. Something Claudia was aware of and she felt emboldened to continue flaunting her lifestyle and beauty to Alice's dour countenance. "It took me longer than I'd planned to get my hair to go perfectly with my gown."

There was no mistaking the sarcasm dripping off Alice Storch's cordial greeting that in itself was delivered with an exaggerated theatric the dozen or so students within earshot glanced over. Also easily unmistakable was the vast contrast between Claudia and the dour Social Studies teacher standing before each other.

Alice Storch had her greying hair pulled back in her typical tight bun. No makeup. Her thin lips pressed together in a firm line. The boxy black dress was starched stiff. The heavy black shoes with the thick heels she had on looked as if from the 1800's.

Claudia, on the other hand, was positively aglow. Her golden blonde hair in voluminous loose curls cascading past her bare, salon tan shoulders and the eye catching pink strapless gown - along with matching to-the-elbow gloves - accentuating her impeccable cleavage clearly placed her in the center of attention.

"Looks gorgeous, Claudia," Principal Dern eagerly interjected. "Your hair is the very first thing that caught my eye from across the room."

Claudia brightened her smile while keeping her gaze to match Alice's momentarily before looking up at Principal Dern, "Thank you, Charles. What a sweet thing to say. Especially considering our last encounter that you stormed out of."

The smile on his face deflated halfway before Charles managed to halt it while struggling to keep frustration from his voice,

And while Claudia noticed the heads turning throughout the evening, she also acted as if she wasn't aware of it. By doing so, she didn't pay it much mind. Had she paused her preening long enough to notice how polarizing she was becoming. All the Senior Class boys were in steadying frustration between gazing longingly at her perfect pair pushed up by her gown's strapless neckline and getting caught by their dates doing so, Those dates, by midway through the evening, collectively covering the Senior Class girls, were giving dagger-eyed glares and plenty of catty comments commenced to spread throughout the fancy hotel ballroom.

PART 5: MY ANNOYINGLY HOT PROM CHAPERONE

(RICKY)

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I was actually listening to music in my earbuds as I did a triple-check on the control panel to make sure all the dials for the lights were set and didn't hear the high heels of Claudia's approach backstage. It wasn't until I the scent of her perfume surrounding me did I realize she had for a few moments been standing slightly off to the side behind my seat, looking over my shoulder.

Before I could turn my head, a flash of pink in my peripheral vision and then Claudia's pink satin to-the-elbow opera gloved hand was impatiently tapping my shoulder. All of this happened at once and despite myself, I was genuinely startled.

"Yahhh!" I shrieked as I leapt to my feet. Already feeling embarrassed at how my voice cracked, as I jumped up from my chair, I'd started to turn around to face Claudia at the same time she stepped from around my seat. My face grazed the neckline of her gown. For the briefest of moments, the skin of my cheek brushed the top of her firm cleavage, eliciting a breathless gasp from her pink glossed lips.

By the time I was on my feet, our bodies were against each other. Her high heels had us face to face. Literally close enough to kiss. I couldn't help having that thought. I looked away from her lips. My eyes had a mind of their own and I found myself staring at Claudia's cleavage being pushed higher from the strapless neckline by my chest.

This all happened in the space of maybe two seconds but felt like two minutes in slow motion. And that's when I felt an odd mix of emotions and feelings. As if submerged in a tank of urges. And time suddenly sped up with the same rate of blood rushing to my -

"Richard!" My annoyingly hot mom's irritation was underscored by her confusion at how I flung myself back down into my chair to avoid contact with her.

PART 6: A MOTHER'S INTUITION

(CLAUDIA)

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"Young man, what has gotten into you?"

Her son's clumsiness was a constant source of annoyance to Claudia, mainly because she knew he got it from her. Not that she would ever admit to being clumsy. Besides, she only became just a little clumsy when a little tipsy. Aside from the two glasses of champagne she had at home while getting dressed (the pleasant effects still slightly lingering upon arrival) there would be no chance Claudia would be tipsy tonight at the prom.

Richard stayed hunched in his seat being the control board while he stammered, "Nothing. Just a cramp"

"A cramp?" Claudia had a feeling her son wasn't quite being honest.

"Yeah," Richard replied, keeping himself half turned away, "from standing up too fast."

Her motherly intuition told Claudia something wasn't right. "Richard, sit up and turn around."

"Mom, I told you to call me Ricky!"

"I am your mother and will call you by whichever name I decide," Claudia snapped at her son. "Now do as I say. You're wrinkling your tuxedo jacket siting like that"

"I'm the only one wearing a white jacket," Richard whined. "You should've told me you changed it as the 'surprise' you wanted to give me."

"It's a classic look and you look very handsome in it," Claudia countered confidently. "Now enough is enough. Sit up straight and turn around!"

Richard slowly turned the seat around while remaining hunched over. As he was doing so, Claudia impatiently put her hands on her hips, too focused on her son to be aware of how this poise caused the bustier. When Richard was turnt around in his chair and looked up at her, he groaned and hunched over again.

"It's a cramp is all," Richard made an attempt tp turn his seat away from her, but Claudia's concern caused her to lean forward, taking one hand off her hip and grabbing her son's shoulder to prevent him from turning away.

"Show me where," Claudia insisted, "and Mother will rub it for you."

Richard groaned in a way she'd never heard him before. For a moment it almost sounded... sexual.

"Mom," he complained, sounding more like himself, "could you just go back to chaperoning? You're not even supposed to be backstage."

Claudia straitened up, both hands returning to her hips. "I only came back here to see my son and to make sure your so-called friends weren't bullying you or teasing you for not having a date."

"Then why don't you go see if they've spiked the punch or something?" Richard replied.

Bristling at the way her son had just spoken to her, Claudia's pink glossed lips formed into her perfectly practiced bitchy pout. She leaned over her son, not noticing how her cleavage lifted higher. Just before she could demand Richard turn around to face her -

"Claudia," a voice from the backstage area startled them both to turn and see Principal Dern standing in the wings, "could you join me on the floor while Mrs. Storch goes on break?"

"She would love to," Richard said before Claudia could snip at the principal. "Right, mom?"

Claudia's pout prominently remained while her terse tone brimmed with attitude as she annunciated his full name, knowing it rankled him, but she wasn't going to let him speak to her like he just did without letting him know he was in trouble when he got home. "Right, Richard."

PART 7: A SON'S SECOND THOUGHTS

(RICKY)

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Even from my spot backstage in the wings sitting behind the control board, I could easily spot Claudia in the crowd. Her blonde hair cascading to her bare shoulders. The pink strapless gown looked expensive. The color popped among all the dark tuxedos and the majority of the dresses worn are also black or similar dark colors. It's as if she was a color cartoon in a black and white show.

Claudia was allowing him to hold one of her opera gloved hand, her poise projected a sort of snobby royalty that was making Principal Dern seem like a serf beholden to her. They were headed across the ballroom to the refreshment table where two big punch bowls sat.

My gaze followed the table in the opposite direction and soon enough I saw Bennett, Troy and Randy standing at the other end of the long table. They were obviously clocking Principal Dern and Claudia as they were slowly making their way across the ballroom in the direction of the punch bowls.

When I looked back at my friends, Tony and Randy were still keeping their eye on the two chaperones, but Bennett was looking right at me with that smirk he gives when things are going his way, which is basically always.

Upon making eye contact, Bennett made a little pouring gesture then gave me his "thumbs up" of approval. The smirk on his face was unmistakable. It was Bennett's "wait 'til you see this" smirk.

I returned the thumbs up. Bennett laughed and returned his attention to where Claudia and Principal Dern were almost to the punch bowls. As soon as he did, I jumped up from my seat and hurried for the backstage side exit into the ballroom.

I had to stop my annoyingly hot mom from tasting the punch!

But as I hurried around the side stage curtain, I nearly ran into Mrs. Storch. My tuxedo shoes slid on the wood flooring then slipped out from under me. I fell ass backwards right in front of Mrs. Storch.

"Mr. Boyce, what are you doing?" Her crabby tone told me not to hold my breath to be asked if I was ok. This least popular teacher was OLD old school. "We've scheduled a cue check on the lighting.

I scrambled to my feet while stammering, "Mrs. Storch, I'll be right -"

"You'll be right here backstage as scheduled," came her crabby retort. "Whatever it is you almost ran right into me over can wait."

There was no way the old battle-ax was going to give a student a break. My only chance to warn my annoyingly hot mom about the potential prank possibly playing out right now.

A prank I helped plan!

PART 8: ALL ABOUT CLAUDIA

(CLAUDIA)

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"Charles, we should find some time alone."

"We...we should?"

Claudia knew Principal Dern had a crush on her since the day she joined the PTA a few months ago. She was also aware of his furtive glances at her cleavage when she turned her head. Normally she would have caught him mid glance and admonished him with her perfectly practiced bitchy pout. But Claudia needed Principal Dern on her side if she was going to get his approval to expand her role as PTA President.

"Yes," she held his gaze with hers, "it's very important that I have you -"

Suddenly a voice interrupted, "Talk about your mouthwatering melons!"

As Claudia and Principal Dern were just stepping to the table where the bowled beverages awaited atop of the cloth covered tables. Principal Dern's jaw fell open again at what it sounded like Claudia had just said due to being interrupted. While the principal was left slack jawed, Claudia turned her attention to who had interrupted her.

Out of her son's so-called new friends he'd made since their arrival to the Royal Palisades community, the boy behind the table was the one Claudia couldn't stand the most: Bennett Styles. She felt for certain he was a bad influence on Richard. Add to that the way the rest of the community thought Bennett was such an angel and for his athletic status throughout the Senior year, the arrogant boy's behavior was given a blind eye by the other adults.

Claudia was not among them, making it clear by the way she rolled her eyes at the sight of Bennett standing on the other side of the table with the two other boys behind him.

PART 9: BEVERAGES BY BENNETT

(BENNETT)

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Continuing to smirk at the busty blonde before him, Bennett Styles kept up his winning charm.

"This punch is packed with perfectly pure, firm, round melon goodness," Bennett's gaze settled on Claudia's cleavage. "My mouth just waters looking at them." Behind him, Tony and Randy fought back laughter. Bennett's elbows jabbed from his sides in a not very subtle attempt to get them straight-faced as Claudia finished her eye roll and gave the glossy pout of hers that always made Bennett wonder what those lips would look like on the tip of his hard -

"What is so funny, you two?" Claudia snipped at Tony and Randy

"My what a lovely gown, Ms. Boyce," Bennett succeeded in getting Claudia's attention. The moment he did, he let her see the way his gaze lowered and lingered along the strapless neckline as he added, "If you were prom queen, I'd definitely give it to you."

Claudia blinked, uncertain she had just heard him correctly. "Excuse you?"

"My vote. I'd give it to you," Bennett's smirk turned into a taunt. "What did you think I meant?"

Her stare went slant-eyed as Claudia placed one hand on her hip while sourly pouting at Bennett, "Don't get cute with me, young man."

"I've always considered myself more handsome than cute."

"Is that so?"

Bennett laughed tauntingly at Claudia, causing a noticeable struggle to keep her composure. He glanced at Principal Dern standing there the entire time, transfixed on Claudia's cleavage. "Damn, act like you seen a pair of impeccable breasts before, Principal Dern."