All Comments on 'My Aunt Sarah Pt. 01'

I loved the Kool-Aid Man line. The only suggestion, is that you need to proofread your work, an refrain from using British words like car park. When you start switching back and forth, it interrupts the flow of the story.

Great story especially since it's your first. Looking forward to the next installment. Please don't disappoint, I think there is a lot of storyline opportunities

Very interesting story, but the grammar and spelling detracted from the overall impact. Don't get me wrong, I want to see how this develops, but you need to either get an editor or use some free grammar checking tools.

Thank you for uploading

definitely need an editor to clean up some of the grammar and other stuff

Love the overall story but had to downgrade it a point due to editing that was to the point of distraction. There is some many plot lines to play with in this story and I hope you pull fully on each thread! Try to keep your characters "real" if nothing else. We need to hear why Sarah was so attracted to our hero. We're led to believe the link with his appliance and his father, but still worth clarifying. While hot sex scenes, where do they go from here regarding exclusivity? Clearly our characters are lonely and looking for someone to love. Work that vein thoroughly and lead us through a long relationship development built on love and respect. I'm sure you can have his mom play the spoiler/complication along the way as well. 4*

I enjoyed this story but as others have said, you need an editor. As a suggestion, go to Reedsy.com and sign up for a free account. It'll fix your editing/spelling issues and the story will be much the better for it :

I look forward to reading more chapters!

Look, I tried. I really did, but the grammar... You have to do something about that. You're and your is not the same thing! I know it's a typo, but still, it's annoying, and it is a little jarring when there's a period when there's supposed to be a comma. It cuts whole sentences in half.

This has quite a bit of potential, and if you can find an editor, or manage to correct the grammatical issues, I honestly believe this could be fantastic.

I’ve given this five stars because although it needs a serious dose of editing I found it an unusually engaging story. I have to admit, when I started reading it I found the grammar and spelling errors really off-putting. Usually that is enough for me to stop reading and look for something else but I persevered this time and am glad I did.

This should be, and deserves to be, part of a bigger work.

It also deserves to be thoroughly edited. Please take that as a compliment.

A request for this author, and ALL AUTHORS: Just go back and read your story, every word and all the punctuation, before you submit it. You'll find (and fix!) so many errors, and make your story so much better for the rest of us! I admit, I am very detail oriented and critical of little crap, but that can make a good story a lousy read. You aren't the worst, either, just the most recent.

You have a 5+ star story with 2-3 star writing. The grammar and spelling mistakes greatly detract from the enjoyment of your story.

As those before me have said, if not an editor, at least have someone proofread your story. There are plenty of authors on Literotica who would be happy to help. Looking forward to more stories, and hopefully the continuation of this one.

You need an editor to clean up grammer and spelling. You also missed the word your when it should have been you're. Americans don't use the phrase car park. We call it a parking lot. Great story. It has a lot of potential.

You have a wonderful starting story! I echo the other comments in that an editor will really put polish on your considerable talent.

I am sure you will improve

Nice storyline. however, a Brit trying to be American....(carpark is a parking lot) stick with what you know... That being said, nice character and backstory going on. I like the turn of the plot and would like to see where you take this... looking forward to the next installment!!!

Really good story. Editor. Well thought out. Editor. I hope you continue. Editor.

Grammarly. It is free and will solve a lot of the issues

I love this story. Cant wait for the time installment!

I would like to thank everyone for their feedback. I agree my grammer and spelling is pretty bad. I have severe dyslexia and have real issues with that. Also I'm half English and American. Spent most of my life going back and forth. I activaly change parts of my laungage from British to American all the time. Drives my friends crazy. I'll endevour to do better in the next part.

Thanks for the kind words and critcism. I feel so much better about my writing now.

Can't wait for part 2!

Kind of strange imo. The "proustite with the heart of gold" is an interesting trope but I'm not even sure that is what this story is. It mainly seems to me the character is someone who cares little for themselves and hides behind very risky sex.

I can't really explain why I love this story.

I'm hoping you add more.

Please continue the story, it's very good. The characters are very sympathetic and interesting. The action is hot and actually romantic. Thanks for writing it's much appreciated

You have a knack for penning down emotions. Please do consider writing more often.