My Best Friend is a Domme Ch. 16

I didn't know what to say, so I kept quiet.

"I'm really sorry, I don't know what came over me," she said, sounding sincere and maybe a little defeated. "Sometimes I can get really angry when a guy tries to make a move. And I know you didn't even make a move. I don't really know why I got angry. It's like I momentarily forgot it was you I was talking to." She paused for a second. "I just wanted to say, it's not you, it's me. Really."

"I just.. didn't want to offend you. I didn't want to upset you," I said softly.

She looked at me. Then she sat up in the tub, turning towards me. I could see her upper body, but I had no interest in her boobs right now. I just looked at her face, those hazelnut brown eyes I loved so much. And those eyes looked genuinely sad.

"I know," she said softly. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's me." She took a deep breath. "You know, the last few weeks have been really tough on me. I mean, playing with you, all those new feelings I discover, all those hot, kinky experiences. And then Ben. And you. It's all a little confusing sometimes. It feels like losing control, like I opened Pandora's box or something, and I thought I was handling it well until just now. I guess I'm just feeling like I'm losing control of myself and I really can't stand that feeling. I feel like that when guys hit on me too and when you offered your sweet help I just got really angry all of a sudden."

I could understand that, I guess. I felt confusion and the feeling of losing control since everything started changing as well, that feeling of having opened Pandora's box. The last few weeks had been really interesting and new and, well, confusing.

"It's been a lot for me too," I said.

"I know," she said.

"No, I mean, it really confuses me too. I may have had more interest for kink and bdsm than you at first, but for me it's all new too. I never experienced anything like this before. I guess I don't know what to do with these feelings, just like you. I'm trying make it work as well, but I don't really know what I'm doing. So I try my best and when you got angry I felt like I failed."

She smiled at me. It was a loving smile, somewhere between sad and loving. We just looked each other in the eyes and suddenly I noticed tears well up in hers.

"I'm so sorry I got angry. I don't understand why. I did realize thought during the breakup with Ben that I might have an issue with men and I might have taken it out on you. Just now, but maybe even all the time. Maybe all these kinky feelings I have... what if I'm just trying to hurt you because I'm angry?" Tears ran down her cheeks. "I'm so confused and it scares me. I can't lose you! I don't want to drive you away! I don't want to hurt you, for real I mean. In play it can be hot, but I really don't want to hurt you. I'm scaring myself with all the things I've been feeling lately, I sometimes just don't know what to do!"

I looked at her and saw her pain and despair in her eyes. And her love for our friendship as well. All I wanted to do was hug her to make her feel it was alright to be confused or even a little angry and I somewhat understood why she snapped at me, but I couldn't just hug her. I was naked and she was naked in the tub. I didn't want her to feel threatened, especially not right now.

So, I said: "I really don't want you to hurt Patty."

More tears ran down her cheeks as she said: "And I don't want you to hurt."

She got on her knees in the tub, moving towards me in a motion that expressed she needed a hug. And I needed a hug. Without thinking I got on my knees in front of the tub and we hugged, her wet, naked, soapy upper body against my naked chest. We put our faces in each others necks. My hand caressed her wet shoulders and her hand rubbed the back of my head in a warm, very genuinely, loving hug.

"I love you Conrad," she said. It felt like a platonic 'I love you', but I felt the same feeling in that moment.

"And I love you very much Patty," I said softly.

We just held each other for a minute. I just gently stroked her wet hair.

"We'll figure it out sweetie," I said softly. "It may be confusing and scary, for the both of us, but maybe it's okay to be confused? Maybe the moment you get confused about yourself is the moment you learn something important about yourself? Maybe we need to be confused to discover who we truly are? Can't we just be confused together, without having to fix it?"

She softly chuckled against my neck and then I felt her nod. "Yes, I guess you're right. But I'm scared. I'm scared of my feelings. And most of all, I'm scared of my anger."

"It's okay," I said. "I'm scared too. But it's okay. So, you sometimes get a little agitated, it's still okay. We'll figure it out together, alright?"

I heard Patty's knees slip on the bottom of the tub, making that distinctive tub slipping sound, but I had her. I held on to her.

"Yes, let's figure it out together," she said.

Her hands moved on my shoulders, caressing my skin.

"I love you Conrad," she said again.

I just held her for a little until her knees slipped again.

"I really want to get out of this tub now," she said, giggling. But she didn't break the hug.

"Okay, I'll get back to the bedroom," I said, still holding her. I really didn't want to break this amazing hug.

She paused for a few seconds before saying: "No, stay. I really want you to stay."

She still didn't break the hug and I didn't really know what to do, so I just kept hugging her. And then, she started to get up, still hanging on to me, looking for support while standing up. She struggled a little to get footing in the slippery tub, so I put my foot on the floor and started to rise, holding her, helping her get up.

Then we both stood up straight, still hugging. She lifted one foot over the edge of the tub. And then the other. She stepped out and pressed her dripping, soft, wet, naked body against mine, still hugging me. I felt her breath on my neck and the warmth of her slippery skin on mine.

My cock reacted without my mental approvement. Luckily the cage, that pressed against her naked lower belly, contained my arousal. I ignored it, I just held on to her. I really didn't want to upset her by getting turned on by holding her like this. I knew she would not want this to turn into any kind of sexual act and she was so vulnerable right now.

"Hmm, it's so good to have a friend like you," she said softly.

I just held her, stroking her hair.

Then she whispered: "Please, no sex, but I really need to feel your body."

I kissed her neck and promised: "No sex. Nothing pervy. But I'm here."

We stood there for a long time, just holding each other. Sometimes hands moved across skin, but what we both really needed right now was just each others proximity. Each others love, without it getting more complicated than it already was.

So, we stood there, until she started shivering as the air cooled her wet body.

"Let me get you a towel," I said softly. She just nodded. We broke the hug briefly as I got a towel from the rack and wrapped it around her shoulders. She pressed her naked front against mine again. I caressed her back with the towel between my hands and her body, drying her skin while holding her. Then I dried her shoulders. Then her neck and the upper part of her chest.

Patty stepped back a little, releasing me from the hug. She spread her arms out a little and closed her eyes. So I kept drying her off. I dried her arms, then her arm pits. I gently, lovingly dried off her boobs. It was the first time I saw them, small and with protruding nipples, the same color as her hair and eyes, that were hard from the cold, but I didn't make it sexual, I just dried her beautiful body. I moved down across her belly. I saw it all, her rib cage, her stomach. Her belly button with the little mole next to it. Her feminine tummy. Her hips, her groin, her pubic area, with a narrow landing strip, trimmed really short. I gently dried the soft part between her legs. I dried her strong thighs, her lower legs and her feet. She turned so I could dry off her lower back and her beautiful bubble butt, full, tight and soft. I gently touched every square inch of her body with the towel. I was really happy I was wearing a chastity cage, or my protruding throbbing cock would have ruined this beautiful moment in which I dried off my best friend, who is a Domme that needed some TLC.

After I was done drying her off, I quickly wiped my chest and belly before we embraced each other again. It felt so good to touch her, skin to skin.

I finally got to see Patty naked for the first time ever, and it was a totally different experience than I ever thought it would be. It was even better than just seeing her naked. We touched each other on a whole different level.

Very gently I steered her towards the bed. I held my arm around her shoulders and together we left the bathroom, the tub still full of cooling water. I only switched off the lights before I guided her towards the bed. I opened the covers for her and she slipped into bed, naked. Then I went to the other side and laid down. Patty immediately scooted over, pressing her naked butt against my hip. She felt behind her until she found my hand and pulled it over to her front, indicating she wanted to spoon. She put my arm between her boobs and held my hand while we just laid there.

My cock was fighting it's cage as the cage pressed against her soft butt, screaming: take her you fool!! But I didn't of course. I just held her until she fell asleep. And then I held her until I fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning I was all alone in the bed, still wearing my cuffs, collar and cage. Patty wasn't there. The door to the bathroom was open, but there were no signs of life in there as well.

I quickly got up. It was almost 9:30. I put on my jeans and T-shirt over my cuffs. When I checked the bathroom, I noticed the tub had been drained.

I walked down the stairs and found my way to the main room of the barn through the corridor. And there was Patty, leaning on the bar as she was talking to Eve, who was behind the bar, cleaning the espresso machine.

"Hey sweetie," Patty said, using her normal friends voice.

"Hey," I said as I approached her. I kissed her cheek briefly, as we normally did. "Have you been up long?"

"No, just half an hour or so," Patty said. She smiled at me.

"Morning Eve," I said to the blue haired sub.

"Good morning Conrad," Eve said as she filled the coffee machine with fresh beans. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," I replied as I sat on the bar stool next to where Patty was standing.

Eve smiled at me. She was wearing a spiked collar with a large D-ring that complimented her hair and pierced nose very well. Otherwise she was dressed casually, wearing baggy, long trousers and a black T-shirt.

Patty wore her yoga pants and T-shirt. Although I was wondering if our long, naked hug last night had changed anything, her demeaner didn't show any change. She was just Patty, my best friend.

"Good thing you're both up," Eve said. "Sue's up as well and Rick is serving breakfast in the house at 10." She smiled friendly at us. "Are you guys looking forward to the party?"

"There's a party?" I asked.

"Yes, didn't Sue tell you? She's having a couple of friends over tonight for a femdom themed party," Eve clarified. Her blue eyes sparkled.

"That will be interesting, right perv?" Patty said. "I hope I can find something to wear again in the clothing rooms, I didn't bring anything."

"I'm sure we can," Eve said, grinning at Patty like only girls talking clothing can.

We chatted with Eve for a couple of minutes before heading to the house. There we met Sue again. She was working in the kitchen, together with Rick. Sue looked cheerful, dressed in her dark blue Chanel suit dress. She seemed genuinely happy to see us and she hugged us both briefly when we greeted her.

Within a few minutes we where sitting in the small dining room. Rick and Eve joined us for breakfast. The food looked great, with a lot of fresh produce from the vegetable garden.

We chatted casually. Sue, Rick and Eve talked through some things that needed to be taken care of today, normal house managing stuff. Then Sue talked about her having been in Japan most of the week for business.

When she got around to genuinely ask us how we've been, Patty said; "Well, I broke up with my boyfriend the day after we were here last week."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Sue responded in her motherly voice.

"Oh, don't be," Patty said, smiling. "I think it's for the best. It was just not working out so I figured I really needed to end it. It seemed only fair towards him to not drag it out any longer."

"Oh, I see," Sue said, smiling. She paused briefly before asking: "So, are the two of you together now?"

Patty laughed. "No, of course we're not together. We're best friends. I could never see us getting together," she said, sounding like the whole idea seemed ridiculous.

That stung a little, but I ignored it. I was used to ignoring it

"Really?" Sue said. She genuinely seemed surprised Patty said that.

"Yes, we've been best friends for over five years now. Me and Conrad together would be just weird. Like dating my brother," Patty said, chuckling. "Besides, he's really not my type."

"I see," Sue said as she took a bite of her salad. She took her time eating it and we all fell silent. Then she looked at me, asking: "Haven't you told her yet that you are head over heals in love with her?"

I almost choked on the food in my mouth. How could she say that? I just froze. And how did she know? Was I really that much in love with Patty? Could everybody could tell? Was it that obvious?

Sue just smiled motherly at me, but Patty was staring at me as if she heard that I had a third nipple or something.

"Have you been doing your sharing sessions?" Sue asked Patty, deflecting attention from my obvious emotional predicament.

Patty's eyes flew from Sue to me and back again.

"Err, no," she stammered. "I didn't really think about it with everything going on with Ben and all."

Sue sighed. "Well, I can tell you guys you need to get brutally honest with each other, but in the end you are the ones that need to do it." She paused a second. "But I don't mind helping you two out with that. So Conrad, do you love Patty?"

My heart was pounding and my throat clenched. I knew I needed, no, wanted to answer truthfully to Sue's question. To Sue. But I was really, really scared of what would happen if Patty heard my truthful answer.

So I stayed silent. Frozen.

Sue smiled motherly at me again. "Just answer the question truthfully Conrad. I promise you it will be okay. Do you love Patty?"

Patty just stared at me. Eve and Rick stared at me. Everyone stared at me, but it was Patty's stare that had me worried.

It took me some effort to be able to speak, but I managed to say: "Yes... Yes, I love her." It was the truth. And as soon as I'd said it out loud I realized it was the most liberating thing I've ever said, and the most terrifying thing as well.

"See, that wasn't so hard, right?" Sue said. Then she turned towards Patty. "So, Patty, do you love Conrad?"

Patty looked white as a ghost. Then, after a few seconds, she seemed to recompose herself.

"Yes, of course I love him. He's my best friend," she stated dryly.

"I see," Sue said. "Let me rephrase the question, and please be brutally honest. Patty, are you in love with Conrad?"

My heart was pounding in my throat.

"No!" Patty said. As white as she had been, she now turned very red. And really agitated. "No! I could never be in love with him! He isn't even my type!"

My heart dropped, but Sue just sat there, dead calm, smiling her motherly smile at Patty.

"Are you sure?" she asked gently, raising an eyebrow.

Patty seemed to be at the brink of storming away in anger, but she immediately said: "Yes, I'm sure!"

Sue looked at her for a second before she said: "What would happen if you would ever fall in love with him? What would go wrong? What scares you the most?"

"I could never be in love with *him*!" Patty stated angerly, raising her voice. "I can't be with him! I can't have sex with him! It would break us apart, it would destroy what we have!! I can't let that happen, I can't lose him!!" She seemed angry, her face was all red and her eyes were tearing up. She paused for a second and I noticed a tear running down her cheek. "I would break our friendship. I would lose him. I always somehow destroy my relationships, so I can't... I can't afford to lose him!"

"Patty, look at me for a second," Sue said. "Look into my eyes."

Patty looked at her and the moment she turned her eyes towards Sue, I realized she wasn't upset in anger. She was scared. Really scared. She was petrified.

Sue just looked at her with those motherly eyes. "Patty, nothing has to change. You don't have to be with him. You don't have to live with him. You don't have to marry him. You don't have to have sex with him. You don't have to promise him anything. Everything can remain just as it has always been and you are still in control. I just want to know what you feel. So: are you in love with him?"

Patty suddenly seemed to relax a little. She seemed to surrender her defenses. She just looked into Sue's eyes as tears ran down her cheeks.

"I don't... well..." She paused and then sighed. "Yes," she said, very softly.

She just stared into Sue's eyes for a couple of seconds and then she seemed to relax. She seemed to feel the same relief I had felt when admitting I loved Patty, but in tenfold.

Tears ran out of her eyes when she blinked her eyes again. And then she said: "Yes, I am in love with Conrad." Then a flood of tears ran out of her eyes. "And it scares the shit out of me," she said with a chocked voice.

Sue smiled warmly at her as she put her hand on Patty's hand. "But nothing has to change dear Patty. Just go on as the dear friends you are. Talk, laugh, play, share each others lives like you two always have, even fuck whoever you want. Just acknowledge to each other what you truly feel, without the obligations that usually seem to come with it. You don't have to do anything or change anything. That's what sharing is about. Just say out loud what you truly feel without any obligations."

Patty still looked at Sue. She remained really tense for five more seconds and then she visibly relaxed fully, taking a really deep breath. Her defenses seemed to wash away with the tears that ran down her cheeks. She smiled at Sue, and then she laughed. Suddenly she looked really, really relieved.

Then she giggled. "Oh my god! Sue, I never even realized it, but I'm in love with Conrad," she said, grinning widely.

"I know," Sue said, smiling her motherly smile. "Don't tell me, tell him."

Then Patty looked at me with those hazelnut brown eyes. I saw her tears on her cheeks, but her eyes twinkled like I had never seen before. She seemed to be glowing. "Conrad, I just want to say: I'm in love with you. But please, don't ever let us change."

My heart melted and I felt my own tears well up.

"I'm in love with you too Patty," I said as I felt my love for her flow through my whole body. "And we won't change anything, I promise. I'm just happy we said it out loud."

Patty laughed, girlishly and openly. "Me too," she said. Then she wiped her tears away with her index fingers, adding: "God, I feel so relieved right now." She took a deep breath.

Sue chuckled at her, and then she really quickly diverted attention from all emotions, preventing us to make it more complicated that in already was, by saying; "Okay, now we got that out of the way, let's talk business. We have a lot to do today. We've got guests coming at 8 and everything has to be ready by then. And also, Eve said Patty needs clothing. So Eve, can you take care of the house this morning? And maybe Conrad can help Rick get the barn ready while Patty and I head into the clothing rooms to find her something nice."