by Imme26
I know shes 18 but if she comes up being pregnant the boys dad can get into big trouble with the law
You need to proof the story. In the beginning yousay that Jack and his mum came home. I thought Jack was the father. The story is erotic and I enjoyed it, just hate when the flow is not consistant.
Unlike previous comments, Jack will not get into trouble with the law. She is not a blood relative and is the wife of his son, yet living in his (Jack's) house. I would hope that you continue with this fantasy story and that she and Jack fall in love and decide for her to continue to be married to Jack's son and make him believe that she has gotten pregnant by him, but that the baby she creates is in reality Jack's. If they are careful they should be able to start quite the family of their own, and Jack's son and wife would not know the difference!
... was mentioned in the new story thread.
Here is the review thread:
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901
Here is the thread that you can comment on the review:
http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428875
Have a lovely day,
Lizzy
There was absolutely no passion in your writing. It was like reading a parts assembly manual. There is a vast difference between typing about sex and making the reader feel and anticipate sex. You failed at creating a story which touched the most sensual of organs, the mind.
Your story would be alright if the girlfriend and dad expressed a little emotion towards what they are doing to their family, insted of glossing over it frivolously. It makes the two main characters very dislikable. And no reading this will not make the readers opinion change of you. You either are a slut or writing about one.
I enjoyed it VERY much and think youve got talent so keep on it AND ignore the snotty comments.........
I've only just found your work. This is a great start. Now I'll have to check out your other stuff.
Its nice and dirty and gets me all wet. I am looking forward to the next chapters *g*
Wow. That sounds exciting and erotic. It's making me consider my boyfriend's dad lol
I've been fantasizing about my bfs dad for months and this story is amazing. I wish my bfs dad will come onto me one day. That'd be the hottest thing ever. Thank u for ur amazing story. I loved it!!
want that daddy to teach me to fuck and give a great blow job - would open my ass for him in a minute
Loved Jack's hairy chest -- the fine dark hairs that cover his chest are indeed very sexy!
I fantasize about fucking my stepsons gf all the time. She stays over several nights per week and when she does she walks around half naked and showing off her nice legs and amazing half asian butt cheeks. I dream of introducing her to good oral sex like the story, eating her pussy and ass right like I'm sure she hasn't had, sucking her solid b cup tits until they are swollen. I want her sucking my balls and swallowing my cum, her riding me, doing her doggy. I would give her anything she wanted and treat her like a little princess. Good story