by Jake4000
I really really enjoyed reading this, it was well written, wasn't rushed, it was perfect :D i really hope you do more with it
what the hell is "i'm in love you" mean it's either " i love you " or " i'm in love WITH you". stop leaving out words it makes you look like an udnerage grade school drop out and makes the story unreadable. delete and do a total rewrite using a good editor as is this was a waste of time.
...you need to hone your writing skills beyond third grade level.
Sorry I can't give zero stars.
Marvin
This may be the sweetest portrayal of sibling incest I've enjoyed in a while... so what if you might not have it grammatically perfect...and while that typically bothers me to where I don't wish to continue a story, I found it easily overlooked in yours because of your heart and imagination...thank you!!
don't stop...don't ever stop!! ;)
Lols the dialogue was sappy, unusual & laughable but not in a good way. It was like a sappy crappy romance with them speaking. Their quotes were lengthy like they wouldn't shut up. She was like I love you but not because your my brother or because your handsome with a big dick but... I'm paraphrasing but she just keep going on & on. It wasn't good well atleast not to me.
I love stories about plump girls getting fucked by their lover, who doesn't care that she is a little over weight. She was a very hot fuck and loved her brother enough to give up her virginity to him and perhaps let him make her pregnant. With that much love being given to him how could he ever even think she was fat.
I'm glad he loved her for who she is and nothing else mattered.
Well done.
Thanks for the read.
This is the same story, no changes. But a follow on . I loved the story.
This was both good and original; however, the parts that were good were not original, and the parts that were original were not good, and there were far too many of those; the dialogue is like something out of a cheap, cheesy bodice-ripper, and the characters were easy to discount as one-dimensional and massively uninteresting; by the time I'd wallowed through to the end, I truly didn't give shit what happened to either of them, or if I never heard of them again. This was not good in every sense of the word, perhaps content should have been your priority, instead of trying to write like Jane Austen or someone else with an actual talent for writing...
Is that a coincidence?
This is one fantastic story of sibling love. What made it really good we're the sex scenes and the fact both were virgins. I loved the fact both wanted pregnancy. Keep writing
the hairless pussy was a turn off for me. I prefer a woman not a little girl.
Why do writers think 38 dd tits and 9 inch dicks make good story’s?