My Confession

My name is Diana and I am a 31 year-old mother of a beautiful 8 year old daughter, Megan who I love so so much.

My friend Rachel, recently recommended a visit to this site and write a story, following a poem I shared with her about the last year I have spent breaking hearts.

The hearts I have broken belong to my husband Greg, and my own. I have never felt so stricken with both guilt and envy in my life before. I wish I could go back to before this all started. I cannot, and I think about it every waking moment.

My husband Greg is successful optometrist, both a fantastic partner and father. I can honestly say that I could not ask for more from him, he is both extremely handsome, fit, caring, funny and kind.

Two years after my daughter was born, we decided to try for a second child, unfortunately after two years, we had no luck. We looked at options sadly eventually finding out that Greg had become infertile.

At the time, I did not thing it was the end of the world, we had one child and I myself was an only child and was happy with it. I believe I am pretty attractive, I am 5'2 with short brown hair, and a peeky chest and cute smile. I have always been quite conservative sexually, with only 2 notches on my bed post before getting married at 21.

Five years elapsed, and I never thought about having children, and was content in my life. Our sex life was fairly ordinary but I was content.

Then a series of friends started getting pregnant and I started to obsess about having another child.

I did not want to adopt, I wanted a child of my own. I confided this to Greg and we talked about using a sperm donor or maybe even fostering a child.

He knew how much I had my heart set on another child and was in tears about not being able to provide one for me.

A couple of months later, Greg's close friend Anthony had called over for one of my home-cooked Lasagne's, and the topic came up in conversation after some beer. Anthony is a very different man to Greg.

He is not at all handsome, unemployed, very tall but over weight, to be honest quite slobbish. He is also a male-chauvinist, and teased Greg mercilessly about his lack of fertility.

Greg laughed it off, but we were both furious. He claimed, that he could impregnate a girl just by kissing her neck and he was as virile as could be. Total bullshit!

Anthony had never had a girlfriend to my knowledge, and I would later find out he was very inexperienced romantically.

He was not at all attractive to me, and I had never thought about him in that way.

That evening Greg teased me about allowing Anthony to get her pregnant. He was not threatened by Anthony in any way, he knew he was in no way in the same league as him, and thought that it was a viable option.

I told him I didn't want Anthony anywhere near me and was adamant that this would never happen. This percolated for a while and he asked me a month later, saying that he was quite turned on by the prospect.

I was stunned, I had never known Greg to be adventurous in anyway whatsoever. To be honest I was disappointed in him. If he loved me as much as I thought he did, there is no way that he would allow that?

I was still yearning for another child, and without giving it as much thought as I should I told Greg that it may be a valid option for us.

A few weeks went by, and one night Greg told me he was going out with his work colleagues and to expect a surprise. Megan was staying with my parents, and I expected our usual take-away meal to be ordered, or flowers.

Two hours after he had left, the doorbell rang, and there was Anthony. I could not believe it. I had flirted with the idea without being anywhere near committing to it. I was furious with Greg.

I made Anthony a cup of tea and we sat down. He could tell that I was uncomfortable with the situation and was quite reassuring. He told me if I really wanted, he would masturbate until he was ready to ejaculate then he would quickly insert himself in me. In the back of my mind, I was thinking there was no way this was going to work. I retreated to the bed room, made myself slightly moist, and called Anthony up. He came up, sat on the edge of my bed, and played with himself, I did not dare look. Eventually he told me he was ready to cum, and he climbed on top of me.

The first thing I noticed immediately, was his size. The tip of his penis felt almost literally double the size of Greg's and even though he did not insert himself anywhere near fully. I could tell that despite being a shy clumsy man, he had an abnormally large penis.

It was all over in about 30 seconds, as he groaned and shot his load. It was not sexy in anyway. I barely thought about it for the next few weeks, except for giving Greg hassle about him moving ahead before I was really ready.

I tested myself, and it had not worked, I was not pregnant. I informed Greg and he said to try it one more time. I agreed. This time Greg was home when Anthony arrived, and said that was going for a drive for an hour.

This time I actually felt a sense of anticipation. No, we were not really going to fuck, but all the same, I thought I would ask Anthony if he wanted to try penetrating a bit deeper and that maybe if I tried to enjoy the sex more, it may increase my chance of conceiving.

For some reason also, I was beginning to find him far more attractive than before. I had fingered myself the previous evening, thinking about him throwing me around the bed and spearing with his lovely meat.

Even though, we didn't engage in foreplay, I was quite wet as he laid me down on my bed. He asked me if he could feel my breasts, to help him become erect. He did so, and eventually knelt over and kissed my nipples through my dress. My already aroused state of mind went through the roof when I saw how big the bulge had become in his pants, just by that act alone.

I wanted to see what he actually had, and I started to take off his pants. I could not believe my eyes. His penis was long, thick any veiny, easily 9 inches. He had earlier confided in me that he did not get much sex, and that he was very nervous. I dont know why, but I really want to suck his prick. He seemed so vulnerable.

Much to my own surprise, I lowered my head and began slowly to take him into my mouth. Within a few minutes, he pulled my head off him and partially came, I got to taste a little of his cum as well as his pre-cum and it was totally delicious. He profusely apologised. I said that it wasn't a problem, and asked if he would be able to go again soon. He said he would.

In the mean time, I think he could sense I was aroused, and asked me directly if I wanted him to lick my pussy. I told him if that helps him get hard quicker, to go for it. He lifted my legs, and buried his head between them. Oh my god!. I have never felt anything like it, his tongue was so strong and agile around my opening, occasionally moving inside and lapping me noisily seeming to savour every drop of juice. After a while he used a finger and brought me to a mind-blowing shuddering orgasm.

"Did you enjoy that?" He asked. "WOW, I said, I thought you were inexperienced". "I watch a lot of porn " he replied. He continued to flick at my soaking vagina with his tongue until, after around 10 minutes and a further earth shattering orgasm he mounted me in the missionary position and fucked me harder and longer than Greg had ever done. We eventually switched positions, Anthony knew exactly how to use his cock to stimulate my zones from different angles, pleasuring me in so many ways, that I did not actually believe was possible until this point. His penis throbbed inside me like it was a stick of dynamite waiting to explode.

We heard Greg pull in the drive, and he quickly finished inside me, before he entered the house. We were lucky, because I was moaning at the absolute top of my lungs just minutes before. Greg would have went crazy if he knew, that we had actually made love, instead of the rather industrial task he had tacitly agreed upon.

On one occasion Anthony asked if he could try anal, and I relented. Even though I did not achieve an orgasm from it, I got enormous satisfaction from the fact that he seemed to grunt and spunk far more than usual. I was happy that he was happy. This was no longer about getting pregnant. It was about our mutual pleasure. It was about me being screwed by a guy who I often in the past did not like or fancy, but who now had me like putty in his hands.

I knew there and then, that this was dangerous. My feelings for Anthony were growing by the minute. He was such a different person 1-on-1, no bravado, caring, and my god he was skilled with his cock.

Over the next few weeks, we were constantly texting each other and Anthony would call over the house when Greg was in work. I think we did it in every room in the house, with him bending me over my bathroom sink on one occasion, and him thrusting so hard, that we dislodged it from its moorings.

It is no exaggeration to say that I used to orgasm over a dozen times in just just a short period of us going at it. I would masturbate regularly thinking of his silky prick, and his milky cum that he used to empty in my pussy. I became so infatuated that to this day a few of my passwords I use online contain Anthony's name. I even signed up to Tinder, because I knew he was on there, and tried cat-fishing him. I could not get him to bite though.

One time, Greg nipped out to walk the dog, and Anthony came from behind me in the kitchen, lowered my skirt and started pumping me from behind. I think half the street must have heard me, I was howling in pleasure. Myself and Greg were having sex roughly 3 times per month at this stage, and I am sure he could tell that I was not as tight as I was just months earlier.

Then something unexpected happened, I became pregnant. All my hopes and dreams had come true at once. I told my best friend Laura and decided I would cook a nice meal that evening and tell Greg. He was going to be over the moon. Laura flippantly said when I told her, "There is a shame you wont be having any more of that great sex".

My heart sank, I had not even spent a second thinking about this consequence. Those illicit sessions were the highlight of my week. I would think about them constantly. I had also started to actually fall in love with Anthony. He was so unlovable but yet I loved him. That is why, our arrangement carried on for another three more months. I did not tell Greg I was pregnant, and I did not tell Anthony.

Laura was mercilessly needling me for doing this, and had urged me to end it with Anthony. She was very angry with me. Just 3 months ago I ended it with Anthony, and I am due to give birth in a few weeks. He was matter of fact about it, which really hurt.

I know Anthony is very loose lipped and decided to tell Craig, that we carried on having sex, for months after he had been aware of it. He was crestfallen The next time he was drunk, he was very emotional and it all came out, and he has not slept in the same bed as me since.

This was all settling down, until last week where I had seen that Laura, had added Anthony to Facebook. I saw them ONLINE on Whatsapp at very late times, constantly seeming to message each other, who knows what. I strongly suspect that he is now fucking her. I am devastated. I cannot even put into words what I am feeling. I also had accidentally seen a text message on her phone a few days ago, where she had told another mutual friend how she is currently getting having the most insane sex ever but wasn't able to tell the friend who it was with.

So there we have it, my heart is broken, and so is my husbands. After I give birth, I am not sure if our marriage will last. I genuinely think he will never get over his own feelings of inadequacy and lack of faith in me. I was hoping writing this was going to be cathartic, but I am sat her incredibly wet, thinking about Anthony, taking me from behind, and blowing my mind. I am a total mess. I wish I could go back.

I recently bought a rock-chick vibrator, to try and rekindle some of the intense feelings I would regularly with Anthony, it cannot compare in any way at all. Even though I am pregnant I continue to masturbate 3 or 4 times per day.

Anthony came over last night to help Greg fix his PC. He gave me a knowing look that I cannot get out of my head. It was if he was saying to me you are one naughty slut, and that he wasn't lying that one time when he boasted about his virility. 8 months pregnant, but I would gladly give up a limb, just to suck his balls one more time.

Who knows if I will ever get the chance, in the mean time the memory of him will have to do.