All Comments on 'My Daughter has a Sleepover'

Prostrate is laying stretched out facing down.

But thanks for the clarification. I’ve thought a few times that writers were ignorant of male plumbing.

Great story. Keep them coming ;)

That has to be the hottest story I have ever read! Physically impossible even with a bottle of the “little blue pills” but as you say this is fantasy land and you delivered!

Keep posting!

A 10 star fantasy at least!

Five stars all the way!

It really could have done without the epilog.

WoW! What a great story! I say story because that is so far from being a reality! Nope, no way could a man do that much fucking! Even with "special coffee" & doctored orange juice! But I loved the story however far fetched it was. But that's why I read the stories here.

Every man’s fantasy apparently. Nice twist with the wife being in the know.

I've been waiting for your return and you certainly returned with a magnificent story. I hope this is the first of many new tales.

Oh Fuuuuccckkkk - that was hot.

I liked the Epilog especially. That could have been another chapter or two. :D

Welcome back! I feared you were still blocked, and we would never see your happy smiling face again … And such a good story/concept. I won't insult you by submitting inane suggestions for a follow-up - you can't improve on this! (This is not a challenge.)

Well shit, I spend all that time triple and beyond checking for typos etc. before uploading it. And then write the shit in italics at the start and don't re-check that! FUCK!

Many thanks to the sharp eyed anonymous writer who noticed, correctly, that I did indeed mean to use "prostate" instead of 'prostrate'. These damned old fingers just sometimes tell my brain they won't type it that way.

If I can figure out how to correct that I will, otherwise, it stays the way it is.

dezurtdawg

What the hell does this mean? Just say rock hard!

Sorry fella, it wasn't a well paced story. Maybe you wanted to get to the sex quickly but there was fuck all build up. You should have paced it by having one girl per chapter, built up the sex with some teasing and some descriptions of the girls

For someone who has written as much as you, this should be better

Enjoyable and fun, until the epilogue. Shame to spoil the fun like that.

Well done as usual.

First, I'm glad to know that you liked most of it. So far, based on both comments and feedback, the epilog is right at 50/50. And most readers want to have some idea as to what happens next.

And long ago, I learned that an author can't make everybody like the entire story. So I just don't even try. I write it the way I and my internal muse want it to go, and that's that. If the reader likes it, I'm happy. If the reader doesn't like it, I'm happy. If I fuck something up majorly, I try to fix it.

All the best for the New Year, thanks for reading and thanks for taking the time to comment!

dezurtdawg

Love this story. More please.

First half was great, up to when the daughter started with him. That should have been the peak of the story, but instead it plunged screaming off a cliff from there. How to put it politely? The second half was terrible.

I don't comment often, but I thought I would here.

I seem to recall in Creative Writing 101 they teach that a story should build to a climax and then taper off slightly before the end. Of course that was before Saturday Serials and Reality TV (which came about as a result of the Hollywood Writers' Strike in the 1990s).

This story follows that plan, but it doesn't keep the mood. The whole story takes a twist down a wormhole about a sentence into the epilog. Maybe the intent was to be jarring, I don't know. But the result certianly was, at least for me. And just from the point of view of the reader having a big happy grin on their face and happy memories when the story ends, it doesn't work. At least for me. You are suddenly shocked out of the happy grin and left wondering what went wrong with the dream.

Now I'm sure the people that get off on unintended pregnancy stories probably loved the ending. Not being one of those, it didn't work as well for me, but that was mostly because it wasn't foreshadowed, or at least not sufficiently. If during the main story Ellen had said "Oh daddy, I love you! I'm sorry you weren't my first, but I'm going to make up for it by having lots and lots of your babies!", then the epilog would have tied in. But she didn't. Daddy was worried about getting all the kids preggers, and they all assured him that wasn't a problem. Then suddenly he has lots of kids by all of them. It just doesn't follow well without a little more connective tissue here and there.

I loved every minute of it. until I read the comments. isn't it funny how people who never published anything, always feel like they can tell you how to write your stories. keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to more.

Wow, where to begin. Okay, first of all, thanks for taking the time to comment on my story. It’s nice to get paid once in a while. And comments along with feedback and votes are the only ways authors here get rewarded. I just wish that readers would remember, at least for a short time period, what they read.

So you really didn’t like the epilog, even though you have created your own rules for the it and the story … rules that just don’t apply to MY story. The epilog “jarred” you and ruined the story. Perhaps you should have read and UNDERSTOOD the words better!

With each of the four girls, once their first fuck was over, they told Dick (Mr. P) that they expected him to fuck them like that any time he wanted to! To me it was an open-ended idea. Anyway, they were ALL 18-year-old high school seniors, a few months from graduating. Of course, they didn’t want to get pregnant then. That’s why they were ‘safe’.

But life goes on. So to, the epilog clearly states that the no longer 18-year-old Ellen is MARRIED and celebrating her THIRD anniversary (makes her at least 21) while her parents take care of her two children, both of whom are thanks to her father’s baby making sperm. And THAT is clearly not caused by an “Unintended pregnancy”!

The same goes for her three friends, who clearly kept up their part of the deal by continuing to fuck Dick and have his babies when they were ready for them! And once each of them was married and a bit older, they WERE ready. To me, that is NOT “suddenly” as you put it. Did you really expect me to fill in your assumed gap by writing another 10,000 pages of drivel just to show the passage of time? You took ‘Creative Writing 101’, so write your own damn stories with all the closely related dots tightly connected the way you like them. And by the way, in my story, nothing “went wrong” because Dick’s dream was his reality and each of the girls wanted his baby once they were married!

And thanks to dikupinya for coming to my defense!

dezurtdawg

I have been reading on this site for a long time now. I have always been a fan of a lot of your stories. I don't usually comment due to not having wrote any of my own stories but I will say this here and now. Please pay no heed to those who rip apart your stories that are really great. Especially those that haven't written a single story themselves. Please keep up with the good stories. I look forward to reading them. And from all your fans, I would like to say thank you for all that you put into your stories.

The story was excellently written about a fantasy I'm sure all married guys have(including me). Never a dull moment from beginning to end including the epilogue. Not many stories like that on here. A nice husband who gets to have his cake(pussy) and eat it too.... Keep up the good work, dude.

No build up. Not the least bit believable. Dumbass author probably never saw tots that were not in pictures since he has no idea how bra sizes work. B or maybe C cup is not tiny. Idiot thinks the 30 meant tiny. Band size has nothing to do with the size of the boobs.

5 Star Story - Remember folks Literotica is fiction. please don't try to take viagra like Mr P... It can lead to heart failure :)

The anonymous comment about garbage is wrong. Yes some is a bit far fetched but its fiction for goodness sake. Also yes don't take viagra like that it will damage your body. It's designed to last for 24 hours, and I know that's true.

An excellent story and well written. Enjoyed the read. Keep them coming.

5 star

I really enjoyed the story, I liked the characters and show each girl played him. I love the epilogue. Very well written.

Thank you

Great story, from super dad to super stud. Wow what an understanding wife who would arrange a fuck fest with his daughter and friends allowing him to feast on all of their young pussies. But again its only a fantasy but again a well written one. 5 stars

Very good story with a couple of minor oopses.

I thought that Ellen was a little too gushy; a bit over-the-top. And, as others have said, what are you trying to do, kill the guy? What was the count at the end, 5 or 6 doses in around 12 hours? Yeah, my counting may be messed up. I wasn't exactly trying for accuracy here 😊. But, again, very good story.

Amazing story, thank you!!

Man I remember reading this years ago when I did not have an account. I am so happy that I found this one again I absolutely love this story. I love that Daddy i impregnated his daughter and her friends at the end

Totally unbelievable but I loved it anyway! One of my medications allows feeling up to a climax, but then prevents it from happening. Reading this I thought I’d have a breakthrough, but it was not to be.

Bill S.

Great story please another chapter

Great Story. Love the swallowing and giving all the girls what they needed!!!!!!

[20.08.23]

hawt, haWT, HAWT!

11/10!!!!!

So, do the husband's know? Lies break up relationships... just saying. Thanks.

I wonder if you’ ll make a future ch where he brings the granddaughters in on the family fun

The epilogue could have been left out... Pretty good otherwise...

I really enjoyed it The epilogue wasn't really necessary but added a nice touch of him impregnating them all.

Fun read of a totally impossible situation. Great imagination shown & really hot throughout.

Bill S.