All Comments on 'My Daughter The Slut Ch. 02'

Just needed a good proof reading before it was submitted.

Great story!

Till think the story is much too slow moving i getting to "that action", but I liked

the action, & you have wet my appettite for more.EATANDBEMERRY-69

might be a little slow but i like it!!

This is an interesting story. While lesbian sex is not my favorite I can appreciate a well-told story, regardless. Now for the criticism. To advance your art and improve your end product I recommend finding a good editor to polish up your writing. If you have one already, you do not have a good one!!!! He/She missed the following obvious areas of concern:

Not to bad (too) (6)

hand held (hand-held)

cat that at the canary (ate)

tore of her (off)

you’re birthday’s (your)

She and Becky were friends (-with Becky) ever since

put on you suit (your)

Bikini (bikini)

turn on (turn-on)

what so ever (whatsoever)

Captain (captain)

she was started by Amber (startled)

didn’t (I) kick

its ok (it’s) (4)

than me (I)

after glow (after-glow)

lick Amber pussy (Amber’s)

finger’s (fingers)

Kitchen (kitchen)

any of our friend (friends)

While by no means exhaustive this list represents most of the questionable expressions and passages in your story. Consider my advice.I also advise you to rename this story as it is unremarkable and not particularly apropos to this story.