My Descent into Slavery Ch. 14

"What Sahar will share with you now, is not a shared experience. It's the reason she couldn't tell us what her worst experience as a slave was. No one else on this ship has gone through what she's gone through. It was planned for me after my capture, but I was saved before anything like this was done to me. It is worse than being branded, impregnated, beaten, whipped, raped, or anything else you've all got some experience with. You have to promise me and Sahar, that no word of this will ever be shared with another person. That you will die with this secret, unless Sahar releases you from your promise. She knows that no one who hears this secret may ever look at her the same again. Even you, forced to do the worst possible things you might have imagined, weren't forced to do this and you may look at her differently, but if she's to ever have a chance to fully heal, she needs to share it with you. If you can't promise to keep it secret, leave now. Even Dr. Sadiq, if he should sit in on a group, can't know these details. Only a fellow slave might understand."

The others looked at each other. Given what had happened to them, it was hard to imagine something worse. You had to be totally depraved to think of something like this in the first place. They'd been exposed to depravity, but weren't depraved themselves. It was incomprehensible to them anyone could imagine something like this.

I made each of them, individually, give me a solemn vow that not one word would ever be spoken of outside of group. When everyone had agreed, Sahar told them what she'd told me in The Bahamas, sitting by the water, totally exhausted, nearly dead inside.

Ateefah fainted. Both the youngest of us, and enslaved the least amount of time, she had been exposed to less of the horrors of slavery than everyone else. The rest of them puked over the back rail, unable to hold the contents of their stomachs down. With the exception of Fatima, they were all Muslim. If the penalty for extramarital sex in the Qur'an was stoning to death, one might guess what the penalty for what Sahar had experienced might be. It took a long time to get the full story out, both because it reached the point they couldn't listen to more without taking a break, and generally breaking into tears with much wailing and crying. About the only thing Sahar held back is that she'd grown to enjoy it, the degradation; the disgusting, filthy things she'd been forced to do. That, she could still not bear telling anyone but me. When Sahar finished, the others were silent for the longest time.

"This is what was planned for you, Beth?" Fatima asked, five minutes later, still crying. We were all crying.

"And Miranda if she'd been taken. Schultz was angry at Master for disrupting his slavery ring and freeing so many of his slaves. He felt that the worst way to hurt him, to stop him, was to turn his loved ones into the most depraved whores that he could. Plus, he believed that wealthy sick people would pay vast amounts of money to see an important US government representative, fucked by animals, or pay to piss or shit in her mouth. He had special whore houses where these things took place, and only these things took place. Not only those things, but where slaves were dismembered or killed for the pleasure of the guests. Slaves who'd lost their value from the other things they'd undergone. If you no longer cared if you were raped, beaten or abused, someone would pay to kill you."

"How are you even alive, Sahar?" Yasmine asked.

"I nearly wasn't. The others know what I was like when I first came aboard. I was dead inside. You only met me later. Even then, the only thing I wanted to do was kill, maim and torture others. The only reason I hadn't killed myself is my hope that one day, I would make the fuckers pay for what they did. The me now, the one who could love someone enough to marry and plan a life apart from death; that person didn't emerge until after Beth was rescued and I believed she could love me a little, despite my past."

"Did they pay?" Maahnoor asked.

"Obviously, this information also needs to remain secret, as taking revenge yourself, even on monsters like Schultz, is a crime," I said. "And Schultz was a police official. Interpol is still looking for him to pay for his crimes. Miranda was used as bait to capture Schultz, who Sahar recognized as her first owner. Sahar tortured him to get the information Master needed to rescue me, and all of the other slaves rescued that day all over the world, then killed him when they had everything they needed. She wished she could have tortured him longer, but time was running out to rescue me, so he died quicker than Sahar would have preferred. She did what she could, including ass fucking him with a horse cock sized dildo. She also made him eat his own genitals. It's why she hated slavers with such a passion."

"What happened to Abdul and Mahmoud?" Hibbah asked. "Did they die like Schultz?"

"Abdul died similarly. I took about an hour killing Abdul," Sahar said. "He was about to brand Beth when we entered the stronghold. I branded his face and did other things to him to make him regret the things he'd done. He also died without genitals in the unlikely event he would ever enter paradise. Beth kicked Mahmoud out of a helicopter about 10,000 feet above the ground. He had between two to three minutes to contemplate his sins before he would have splattered on the ground."

"Others died quickly, shot even after they surrendered. Only the innocent were spared," I said. "Everyone else died. The freed slaves identified those who'd harmed them. They were shot in the head. Then the stronghold was totally destroyed, blown up with all of the death, destruction, loss of innocence, and despair, buried under rubble."

"I still have hate and death in my heart for those who would harm or abuse others, particularly women or children," Sahar said. "Beth has to temper my worst impulses. I would kill anyone, even you, if you harmed another innocent. She has gotten me to reduce the penalties for bad behavior to a broken arm or two, so their hands cannot be raised against women or children. She is my conscience, because I have none. She does it as much to protect me, as to protect others, because I'm a monster and society does not like monsters to live among them. She manages to get me to wait until these villains are goaded into attacking, so I can claim to be defending myself or others. If it were me, I'd wipe them from the face of the earth, but she loves me enough to save me from myself."

"While we were in The Bahamas, after my rescue, and Sahar worked to help me recover, she and Roberta killed other men who wanted to rape or capture us, women alone and unprotected, they thought. They were fed to the sharks after their deaths. Very few people know what happened there. That too, needs to remain secret. Sahar is joining the group now because she hopes she might once again, develop her own conscience; that she need not depend on me. She hopes the monster inside can be held in check, on a tight leash, until it needs to be released. So you see, what was done to her, still affects her, as it affects all of us. Those things cannot happen to you, without changing you forever. Just as you work to avoid dishonoring your marriage, and remain faithful to your spouses because of what happened to you, Sahar will need to work to conquer her rage and blackness. She wants to be a little less monster, and a little more human."

"I am glad Sahar was a monster for a little while, until Mahmoud and Abdul were dead and you were rescued," Maahnoor said.

"I am too, because she's my monster, and protects me."

We didn't start working on issues afterwards. Just telling everyone what Sahar had faced was enough for one day.

******

Marilyn approached me after supper. I had one of my iPads ready and she took my survey. She handed it back to me after she was done. I looked at some of her answers. Without running it through my analysis, I couldn't be sure, but it certainly seemed she'd made submissive responses.

"Am I a slave?" Marilyn asked.

"I have a matrix I need to enter your answers in to be sure. Why don't you just go fuck whoever's name you drew for the night, and we'll discuss it in the morning after your workout. It's not like you need to know this instant. You are what you've always been, and just didn't know it."

Marilyn nodded and left. I believe she'd drawn Chaney for the night.

Dr. Sadiq waited until she left, then asked himself. I told him the same as I'd told her, that it wasn't certain yet, but the responses seemed to be in the submissive range. I also told him what had happened earlier with Lynn, which was probably all the proof we needed.

"Will Joshua be Dominating her then?"

"You do realize how much sex that Master's slaves have with each other and that Francesca is Marilyn's daughter? It wouldn't be wise for Joshua to Dominate both mother and daughter."

"What will she do then?"

"Would you like another slave?" I asked, pulling his leg.

He recognized that I was teasing, and said he'd have to think about it. He was sure that Felicity wouldn't mind, smiling as he said it.

I countered with, "She probably wouldn't, Doctor Sadiq. Slaves tend not to be too fussy about things like fidelity as long as it pleases their Master. Only your own morality would prevent that from happening."

"Do you really think so?"

"Felicity loves you greatly, doctor, but I don't think it's a jealous love. If you want your English wife, she'll be your English wife. If you want more, she'd be more. You have all the control in your relationship. Felicity worships you."

"I have to be careful. This ship and the people on it, are very seductive."

"True, but it's something you have to fall into yourself. No one will attack you."

Changing topics, Dr. Sadiq asked, "What did you discuss at group today?"

"Things never to be revealed."

"I heard that Sahar was at the group."

"She's thinking of giving group another try. She's exploring the idea of attending again. Excuse me doctor, I really should get this evaluated."

I went to my room where Sahar was lounging, reading a book. She looked up at me and said, "You know. I'd like to learn how to drive. If Farah can learn to fly, I should be able to learn to drive."

I kissed her. "Yes, you should. You could be my chauffeur and bodyguard in one."

"Ha! I'd have your lazy ass outside the car running beside it to keep you in shape. What's the scoop on Marilyn?"

"I'll find out in a few minutes," I said, booting up my computer. "How did you feel about exposing your secret in group today."

"Scared. You saw how they looked at me afterward. Ateefah fainted, for fuck's sake."

"They can't help it. It's a hard thing to believe. It will take some time to get used to the idea. It's not the sort of thing you hear every day. Never in the deepest depths of their imagination could they have considered such a thing. It's totally foreign to them, like living on a different planet. You'll know they've finally accepted the idea when one of them asks what it was like."

"A hundred times worse than they can comprehend."

"Which is about what you'll tell them. Imagine losing your virginity to a 1200 pound man with a twenty inch cock that's three inches wide, whose breath smells like hay."

Sahar laughed. "You're a fucking twisted bitch."

"I'm not all bad. A few people actually love me, one of them lying in my bed right now, waiting for me to finish so she can enjoy my tongue dining on her tasty twat."

Sahar threw back the covers to show she was naked. "I love that you love me."

"I love that you can love a twisted bitch."

"Hurry up, bitch."

I smiled at her and started entering the data. Five minutes later, I had the answer. Marilyn was prime slave material. Not the most submissive score I'd ever seen, but close.

"We can start treating Marilyn like the slave slut she is," I said, shutting everything down.

"How can she have gone this long without knowing this about herself," Sahar said.

"She was engaging in some submissive behaviors when she was married," I said, sliding into bed with Sahar. "But her nature was in conflict with her upbringing. Just as most Muslim girls will never learn how much they like to lick pussy, or get fucked in the ass, Marilyn was raised to believe certain things were wrong. She was willing to bend a little, but she couldn't bend far enough to discover this was what she was meant to be."

"And how can she be open to it now? Her upbringing hasn't changed."

"Because her upbringing was ruining her life. To fight against the things she felt, she went too far in the opposite direction, and alienated everyone in her life, family, friends, daughter. Her values became so strict, no one wanted to be around her. It's not like she lived in a monolithic society where everyone believed the same things. Every time Marilyn opened her mouth about how things should be, she alienated more people. Even those people whose beliefs were most like her own, don't want to be preached to by a woman who's own life was so obviously in the dumpster. Having her tell them how they should be having sex with their own spouses, is none of her fucking business in the first place. And if they're happily married, and she can't hang onto a man for more than a couple months, it's even more obvious she shouldn't be giving marital advice.

"She reached a point where her own family wouldn't speak to her. She's friendless and alone, and it makes her question her own ideals. She can keep on like she is, or decide a change is in order. It took a good kick in the pants, but she did start to question her own beliefs. I didn't necessarily expect her to do a full 180 and march in the complete opposite direction, but she started listening to her own nature instead of all the other voices in her life that told her what was right and what was wrong.

"Objectively, you know killing other people is wrong. But you've run into people in your life who have taught you some people have to die. Letting them live is a moral stain on the world. You adjusted your thinking, going too far in the other direction, believing more people should die than what is morally defensible. I believe that every person you've killed deserved to die, and you're learning to make distinctions between those who truly deserve it, and those people who are merely assholes who should be ignored for the most part.

"The football player was an asshole, but he didn't deserve to die. The Cargill's were both ugly shits who deserved to hurt, but could be handled without their killing. If you'd run into them in a situation where there was no one else to help or another way to handle it, perhaps it's justified they die as well. However, killing them, endangered yourself, your own freedom, so it's better that it got handled in a different manner, with them poor and in prison. The law and Master's friends could manage it without anyone else suffering.

"Marilyn has finally learned her true nature. She's decided not to fight it any longer. This should make her life easier, and happier."

"I'd be happier if you were licking my cunt."

I laughed. "Your every wish is my command, my lady."

"I'm no lady. I'm a horny bitch." She spread her legs. "Eat me."

I kissed my way down her body. Eventually, she screamed for me.

******

I woke Master early the next morning by sucking on his cock and getting him to fuck me, while Sahar and Miranda played around. After I got a good shafting, I informed him that Marilyn was indeed, a slut slave, who would welcome a collar.

"We probably need to tell her about our situation," Master said.

"It's likely time she knows, sir. I don't think she's going to blurt out the news if she finds that Miranda is not just your wife, but a slave, and only one of four you command. May I ask what time Frank is scheduled to be on board tomorrow?"

"Around two. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I think we should make a united front and tell Marilyn together, I believe after supper, so she doesn't have a lot of time to think about it. We should inform her that all of the known Dominants on board can't accept her submission, but we're going to sell her tomorrow afternoon to whoever wants to own her. We'll say she prefers a male, but will serve anyone who buys her until we get to Los Angeles. If she's happy with her owner by the time we get there, she'll consider a permanent arrangement. She'll be naked and blindfolded when she's sold. Everyone will have an opportunity to inspect her, by which I mean feel her up, so she feels totally submissive and aroused by her sale. We'll have everyone bidding on her to overcome her poor self image. Then Frank will bid on her and close out the bidding, and she'll find out she was sold to her ex-husband. I imagine that by the time Marilyn gets to Los Angeles, she'll be the perfect slave for him and completely obedient to his commands. She'll eagerly accept her permanent bondage to Frank."

"I see. Kind of like what Henri Jourdan did to Simone in Guadeloupe."

"Exactly, Master. There will be the thrill of the unknown; the who will she be sold to, to the comfort of the familiar, her ex-husband, who she still professes to love. Sahar will work her like a dog the next couple mornings, getting her tuned up and accustomed to a crop on her naked ass, then when Frank is due to arrive, we'll have her in her room being prepared for her sale, perhaps adding some make up to make her feel pretty. Then we'll blindfold her, lead her to where the sale will be conducted and display her for all to see. After she gets inspected, we'll open the bidding. She tests out as very submissive. I imagine she'll be dripping before she's sold."

"I love the idea, Master," Miranda said. "I'll discuss it with Francesca, but I'm sure she'll love it as well. She's said she'd love to see her parents reunited."

"When do you intend to tell Marilyn the results of her survey?"

"I told her I'd let her know after exercise today, but I'm thinking I'll tell her before her training and say that Sahar is preparing her to be sold and she needs to be in good shape to get the best price. I'll tell her Francesca needs to speak to her tonight after supper about her results, and we'll give her the news about us at that time, and inform her she's being sold tomorrow. She'll live life as a slave until Los Angeles and decide at that time if she wants to make it permanent."

"I like this idea as well," Master said. "It's about time you were awarded to the Sailor of the Week. Instead of drawing a name out of a hat, perhaps I'll sell you right beside her, with the only bidders, those who've been nominated for the weekly award. Money to go to charity. Let's see what your value is to the crew after they've been deprived of your services for a few months."

"They only get me for a couple hours, sir. I can't imagine they'd pay that much for my time."

"I'm thinking at least a hundred dollars for it."

"Five hundred," Sahar said. "If she'd been fucking everyone the way she used to, sure, she wouldn't get that much, but these people will be desperate to fuck the slut by this time. I'll have sex with whoever wants to bet me that she doesn't make five hundred if sold and I lose."

"Against what?" Master asked. "I don't think I'll take that bet, but what would I lose if I made it."

"An ass fucking," Sahar said. "You're used to one of those by now, aren't you?"

Master laughed. "Don't make the bet with any of the nominations for sailor of the day. They might look at it as an opportunity to fuck both of you if they make the bet, finagle the sale, and get Beth on the cheap on top of it."

"Wise advice, sir. Since Sahar hasn't fucked anyone but the women until now, I'm sure a lot of men are wondering what it would be like to fuck her."