My Diary: Entry 24 - All Is Well

Hi!

It's Emma!

Been a while!

I've had Franco, Hershey, Shoni, and Jane asking about me, which I found really sweet. They were surprised to hear I wanted to explore new things, and that I got back with Louisa, but they're supportive of me, and let me know I'm always welcome at the bungalow, along with Louisa and Mom. How nice of them!

I actually stopped off at the bungalow on the way back from work today, and Jane was keen to let me know she's dipping her toe into the cuck lifestyle, submitting to Shoni whenever she's in a mood (which is most of the time with Shoni to be honest), but the four of them have a healthy dynamic going on by the sound of things. It was good to drop in and see them getting on well. I was invited to stay for a while, but I felt far from fresh after work, so I passed, although Shoni did point out, "Bitch, you were usually sweating buckets and greasier than a bucket of chicken. Don't be making excuses."

I couldn't fault her on that. It was very true that I sweat quite a bit, especially when I'm turned on. I think that was Shoni's way of telling me she missed having me around. She's such a beautifully strong and sassy woman, and the sheen on that black skin is the perfect wrapping for her, reminding me how she turns me on, doubling me over with excitement right there like I was just punched in the gut.

What was a girl to do?

I stayed for an hour or so, more watching how the four of them got into each other. Shoni flashed her eyes at me more than a few times, really keen to let me know she was thinking of me. Jane was made to service everyone as Hershey and Franco had no problems rising to the occasion, partaking of the hungry white meat waiting to be served on.

They took their time with each other, not content to rush to completion, but letting things really take hold as they got further into it. I was practically billowing steam from my body like a ghostly aura as I watched them, feeling so hot, and getting more than a bit clammy. You probably could've fried an egg anywhere on me, if I'm being at all honest about the heat coming off me. Kinda disgusting when you put it like that, but I wasn't in company of those who would judge me that harshly, so it felt really quite nice.

Amidst all that at the bungalow, I was eager to return to who awaited me at home, and everyone understood that, more than happy with me to take off to leave them to continue unobserved.

Louisa has continued to be a devoted lover to me, almost completely unrecognisable from the bitchy teen I met all that time ago. The girl got herself a legit job, earning herself a wage far less than she's used to seeing from her antics at the hotel, but it's something. She really tries hard for me, and it's sweet and hot to see!

Mom has remained as popular as ever with constant dates pouring in. She's even arranged full-on orgies from time to time because of the amount of interest, with many of the men just happy to be there, with the occasional swinging couple thrown into the mix too. I don't know how she does it, but I'm happy for her!

The openness ever-present in the house now has blurred all of our boundaries so much that nothing is left unshared. I've never felt closer to Mom, recognising she's a free-spirit who has her wants and needs, and her house is her sanctuary to indulge herself in any way she pleases, but we keep each other to ourselves, not content to commit to anything truly explicit between us. I love my Mom, and she loves me, but this is one thing that will always never be, but will always keep our open-door policy where sex with others is concerned.

The annoying thing with Mom is how much of a flirt she is, always embarrassing me by being way too close with me at times, really getting in my head!

The mother-daughter relationship I have with Mom has really rubbed off on me with Louisa, as the teen sees our relationship as such. Although, she's drifting apart from me as a partner, getting all cutesy with an age-appropriate boy she's met. Louisa likes to let me think that I'm the one she wants, but she can't keep her secret from me. Call it a mother's intuition?

I like to pretend that I'm all attached to Louisa, making her feel guilty about her affair with this guy, but I'm loving how clingy she is with me. It's nice to know that there's something real and genuine between us that obviously means a lot to her. With how manipulative she had been in the past, it wouldn't have been a shock to be betrayed by her. I'm just happy she's happy...

Oh, wow!

I just had a little cry to myself...

I think it's a happy cry...

It doesn't feel bad to me...

Anyway, everything is feeling in a good place, and long may it continue to be so.

There's just one more thing to admit...

I'm kinda keeping an eye on Luke.

I'm not stalking him or anything like that, I promise! I'm just seeing how he's getting on, but from a distance because I can't bear the thought of actually talking with him.

I'm not, not, not interested in getting back with him or anything, but I just want to know what he's got going on in his life. I mean, I'm not heartless. I do care about him. I probably still love him. I mean, I don't want to talk to him, or even let him know I'm here, but, yeah...

I found out where he's been living a while ago, and, most of the time, he's on his own. I've watched him jerking off a few times. I've never done anything to myself while watching him do that, because he's always done too quick to make it worth my while. What caught me off-guard last time was a friend he had around. I'm not sure I recognise her, but I think we used to live locally when we were at school.

The poor woman seems very smitten with Luke, laughing with him and being all playful and stuff. It's almost exhausting to watch...

Okay, I'm being unfair, but things did get quite steamy as I watched through his window from my perch. They forgot to draw the blinds because of being too into each other to notice or care, so it was fair game to watch them going at it... At least for a minute or so...

I barely had time to get my hand down there by the time he finished in her, and my heart ached with disappointment in sympathy for the poor woman. She must've been left wanting by him... I know how she must feel!

That's unfair...

If anything, she looked giddy and happy to be with him. She must be pretty fucking desperate, or he must have something on her, or she might even be paid to be with him...

Again, that's not fair...

I have to stop that!

I left Luke and his new partner to their life, but I lost myself in thought all the way home, and when I got home, and I didn't tell Mom or Louisa where I'd been. It all just weighed on my mind like a heavy blanket, somehow comforting, but uncomfortable, and hot as I got carried away...

Looking back on Luke, I've come so far. I'm having the best time of my life right now, surrounded by people who give a fuck.

I'll be just fine!

Still, Mom had some of her 'friends' around, so I picked a guy and took him to my bed to be taken by him. That took Louisa by surprise, and I think my brazenness really hurt her, but I was really needing something specific, and only a man could satisfy me in that moment.

Louisa slunk into the corner of the bedroom, quietly mad with me about me being with a man while she's right there. She looked so judgmental and pissed off that it was making it all so much hotter, which I doubt she intended, but I still felt it. Her face never broke once, holding a statuesque scorn as she seared her stare into me.

The heat was already cooking me, but was being turned up so high that I thought I might pass out. Touching my skin must've been like touching the sun itself, and the steam swirling from my body was thick like smoke. My body smouldering, and streaming wet with rivers of sweat soaking deep into the bed.

To be taken so thoroughly by this man while Louisa watched with such blatant anger billowed shame over me in whooshing waves of sobering swells. As he thrust into me, it felt like he was brandishing a weapon to punish me, each movement from him piercing my soul with pronounced pinches of guilt.

The man left us promptly as he finished, and Louisa leapt across to join me lying on the bed, and she told me, "That really hurt. That really fucking hurt. If I ever made you feel anything like that when Luke was a thing, I'm so, so sorry about that."

I almost laughed, "Hey, I'm sorry if that was wrong. I just thought we were in a place where we were seeing other people."

Louisa looked confused for a moment, her face melting like hot butter as she became embarrassed, realising what I'm talking about, "You know? Of course you know.

"I don't know what to say..."

I let Louisa know, "It's okay. I'm in full support of you, as long as I get to keep being your 'mommy?,'"

Louisa's face was trying to seem mad, but couldn't help but smile, and humour took over her, "You've been so good to me, even when you have no right to, so I didn't want to hurt you, so I tried to keep it all secret."

I assured her, "Hey, you don't need to worry about me. You'll always have a home with me. I promise."

Louisa asked, "Why are you always so kind to me?"

I honestly didn't have a good answer, "I don't know," but my face must have been so bright with affection I could've blinded the girl.

To see Louisa laughing so genuinely and freely filled me with such warmth. I really do love her so much.

Anyway,

Night xx