My European Summer Vacation

I held Sinead as she cried. I had nothing to say. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I'd always be there for her, but saying so would make things worse.

"It's probably best that I got to know her through you," continued Sinead. "If I showed up at her door, what would she have said? Nice to meet you, now leave and never come back? This way, I know she was the loving mother that I had always thought she was, but it was my fate that she could never love me the way she wanted to." She pulled back, and I let go of her. She took my hands. "Listen to this and tell me if it makes sense. She loved my dad with all her heart. She wanted to marry him and have kids with him. But he refused, instead choosing to marry Maeve. Mam didn't want to give up the relationship. She was happy to be Dad's lover. She knew Dad couldn't resist her, and she seduced him the first chance she had." Sinead sighed. "Then I was born, and things went wrong. Instead of bringing her and Dad together, I kept them apart. Everyone watched Mam like a hawk for clues as to who was my father. Grandmam found the letters and forbade Mam from seeing Dad. After a while, Mam realized it was pointless staying in Ireland and agreed to go to Boston."

I pulled on Sinead, and she came into my arms. I held her dearly as I said, "That sounds totally reasonable."

"I'm not done." Sinead continued to lean on me. "When she got to Boston, she met your dad, got pregnant with you, and married your dad. But she was still in love with my dad. She named you after him. She wrote Dad letters about you and sent him pictures of you. You were the child she wished she had had with my dad. After years with no communication from my dad, she fell out of love with him and in love with your dad. She was finally ready to have more kids with him. She then had a very happy life, but it was a life in which I didn't fit. Does that sound reasonable?"

"It does." I squeezed Sinead. She felt so good to hold. "I'm sorry, Sinead." I released her and went back to holding hands.

"It's okay. It's definitely not your fault. Talking through it all, I'm ready to let go of Sinead Murphy. She always had a cursed, unhappy life. I'm ready to be Sinead Hayes. I'm ready to write a long letter to Maeve, thanking her for adopting me and doing such a good job of raising me."

"Could your parents have married?"

"Can cousins marry in Ireland? I don't know. I don't know if the church would have agreed to the marriage. I don't think Dad would have married Mam even if he could. He seemed determined to marry Maeve instead."

"Maeve offered him a better future. I'd guess he'd married her hoping that things would work out."

"And they partially did. Dad loves being a successful farmer, but Maeve makes him miserable."

I could see Maeve making any husband miserable.

"Enough about them," said Sinead. "What about us? Do you have any ideas?"

"None worth sharing." Then I thought of something. "Oh, I forgot to tell you - Mom died because of unsafe practices at her work. Dad sued the company for negligence and won a large settlement. He gave me a fourth of the settlement. That's what I used to travel around Europe. I'll give you half of what I got." I told her how much. "That will be more than enough to get you situated anywhere you choose to go."

"You don't have to, Noel."

"I want to."

"I don't want you to."

"Sinead..."

"How about this - I'll figure out what I want to do then we'll discuss the money, okay?"

"Okay."

"Would you mind leaving me alone so I can think?"

"Not at all. I'll be vacuuming and cleaning." I got off the bed and headed out of the room, grabbing my cell phone on the way.

As I got to the door, Sinead said, "I wonder what Mam would advise?"

I closed the door behind me and turned back on the vacuum cleaner. It was an interesting idea - what would Mom had advised? We were her two children, brought into the world while she was in love with Sinead's dad. She knew about the pain and heartache of incestuous relationships. What would she advise? I had no idea.

I was in a better mood because Sinead was in a better mood. I had to trust that she would figure something out. I texted Doug about when he was going to be back at the apartment. He texted back late tomorrow night.

As I cleaned the apartment, I had some serious doubts about how compatible Doug and I were as roommates. I didn't want the apartment as clean as Mom had kept the house, but I had standards. I wondered if Doug had done anything to clean while I was in Europe. For a second, I thought about having Sinead as my roommate if she stayed in Boston. I knew we could equitably divide the chores. But could I stand to live with her? Would I forget she was my sister when I saw her in some sexy outfit? How would I take it when she brought some guy home? No, best not go there.

"Noel, please come hold me again."

I went into my bedroom, climbed onto the bed, and hugged Sinead. She had changed into one of my T-shirts while keeping on her skirt. She never wore a T-shirt with a skirt. Had she spilled something on her blouse?

"Thanks, Noel, for being patient."

Sinead broke the hug and we held hands. She smiled at me. She looked the happiest since I had told her about Mom.

"I think I have things figured out. But before I say anything, I want to know how you want our relationship to be."

"I want you to be happy."

Sinead gave me a little smirk. "I asked how you want our relationship to be, not how you want me to be. I'm assuming we both want both of us happy."

"I don't know, Sinead. I don't have any good ideas for how our relationship should be."

"Come on. You must have come up with at least one idea."

Was she braless? She was wearing a dark t-shirt so I couldn't see the outline of her nipples. I could make a little bit of her nub and when she moved, it seemed like she jiggled.

"I was thinking you would go to Germany to be with some of your friends from college. Today and tomorrow, I'd give you a tour of Boston, and then Tuesday you'd fly out. We'd keep in touch by email, maybe once a month."

"That would not make me happy. I don't want to live in Germany. I don't want to have to speak German all the time, and I don't want to work for the overlords who have Ireland under their economic thumb. Try again."

"Sinead..."

"Come on, try again. Humor me."

She was smiling now, and the sparkle was back in her eyes. She was enjoying herself.

"Okay. You could live with Dad and my sisters for a while. Dad and I would help you network within the Irish community to get a job and a roommate. We would be friends and see each other occasionally at Irish functions."

"I like that a lot better. I'm looking forward to meeting Erin and Riley and being a big sister to them. And I'm looking forward to doing things with the Irish community here in Boston. But that's not what I want." Sinead sidled up next to me then leaned into me. "Do you know what I really want?"

"No."

In a low, sexy voice, Sinead said, "Sinead Hayes wants to celebrate moving in with her Boston boyfriend by giving him a good fucking."

"Sinead!"

"I've been thinking a lot about my mam and dad." Sinead grabbed my right hand with both of her hands. "How they loved each other." She toyed with my hand. "How they were miserable for years because they didn't stay together." Sinead lifted my hand upwards. "We aren't going to make that mistake." Sinead put my hand on her left tit. She was definitely braless.

Sinead smiled at me as I kept my hand there. I knew I should take it away, but it felt so good in my hand.

"I realized another way that you and I are like my mam and dad." She grabbed my other hand. "You can't resist me, just like Dad couldn't resist Mam". She raised my hand and put it on her other tit. "You tried hard to resist me, didn't you? You couldn't resist making love to me the morning after I showed you the pictures of Mam."

"I had thought it was ridiculous to even consider that the first person I had met in Ireland was a sister that I hadn't known I had had."

Sinead smiled and raised her eyebrows to show that she didn't believe me. She moved her chest a little forward and back, so her tits would move within my hands. I knew I should have dropped my hands, that even though I had done nothing to fondle Sinead's tits it was wrong of me to do so. Sinead was lightly holding my wrists and I could have easily broken out of her grasp, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Then when I brought you up to my room, you didn't resist me."

"I didn't want to make noise with your parents next door. And you fucked me. I just laid there."

My justification sounded feeble in my ears. Sinead smirked. She grabbed the bottom of her shirt, pulled it over her head, and tossed it aside, exposing her beautiful tits to me. She grabbed my hands and led them back to her tits.

Sinead had planned this. She had purposely changed into one of my t-shirts so that she could easily get my hands onto her naked tits. I started to pull my hands away, but Sinead tightened her grip on my wrists. When my hands stayed on her tits, she smiled at me. I felt so weak in her presence. She knew what I wanted, and she knew how to give me what I wanted so I couldn't refuse it.

"Then you decided to run. Leave me and go to London. To get safely away from your sister. You bought the ferry ticket without telling me. Were you planning on coming back to Ireland for the two weeks prior to your departure?"

"No."

"But I wouldn't let you go. And you didn't put up any resistance to my coming with you."

Her tits felt so good in my hands. I had thought I would never touch them again, but here I was. I could feel my resolve crumbling.

I practically mumbled, "Once I made the offer to come back to Ireland and travel with you, I didn't think I could tell you no with no justification."

Again, Sinead started leaning towards me and away from me so her tits would move within my hands. "You could have said no and not offered a justification. But you wanted me to travel with you. You wanted your sister to be with you as you explored Europe. You wanted her in your bed as often as you could arrange it." Sinead reached down with her hand and grabbed my cock through my shorts. I was hard. "You even fell in love with her, even though you didn't want to. Didn't you?"

"Yes."

I could feel my hands squeezing and releasing Sinead's tits. It was like they were acting on their own volition. I had squeezed her perfect tits so many times before that they knew to do it without my thinking, like how you ride a bike automatically.

"Then you told me a little while ago that several times in Europe you almost told me that I was your sister. But you never could do it, could you?"

I shook my head.

"You knew it was wrong to fuck me, to be in love with me, to have me think that we would be living together in Boston as boyfriend and girlfriend. But you couldn't end it. You couldn't give up having your sister as your girlfriend one day earlier than you needed to, could you?"

Sinead had hit the nail on the head with the hammer. I had known all summer what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't give it up. That was why I had been so willing to kick the can down the road. But it didn't change that what we had done all summer was wrong, just like what we were doing now was wrong.

Sinead raised up on her knees. "Come here," she said as she grabbed my head and guided it to her chest. Her nipple popped into my mouth. I sucked on it like it was a natural reflex. Sinead moaned. "That feels so good, Noel. I love it when you suck on my tits. You love sucking on my tits, don't you?"

I didn't answer. My continued sucking was answer enough.

"Are my tits the only tits in the world you want to suck on?"

I didn't answer as I continued to suck on her tit. Sinead grabbed my head and lightly pulled me off her tit so she could look me straight in the eye.

"Are my tits the only tits in the world you want to suck on?"

It took me only a second to reach an answer. "Yes, they are."

"Good answer," said Sinead as she guided my head to her other tit. "Aye, Noel, suck on it like that. You're getting me so hot."

Sinead grabbed my hand and guided it under her skirt to her bare pussy. She wasn't wearing any panties.

"Feel that, Noel? I'm getting wet for you. My body doesn't care that you're my brother. All it cares about is that you're a male that I want to fuck. And I badly want to fuck you."

Sinead's low, sexy voice and her body had me mesmerized. I was completely under her spell. A voice in my head was screaming that this was wrong, that I should stop it right now, get off the bed, and get out of the room. But it seemed to be screaming from far away, and I could barely hear it. What I mainly heard was the roar of lust in my ears. My body didn't care that Sinead was my sister, and it badly wanted to fuck her too.

"I'm almost done talking, Noel. Let's get more comfortable for the rest of the conversation. Take your shorts and underwear off."

I got off the bed and stood up. This was it. This was the time for me to say that this was wrong, that we were brother and sister and shouldn't be doing this.

I started to speak, but couldn't. Sinead smiled at me as she unzipped her skirt. She knew I'd do what she wanted. My defenses crumbled. I pulled down my shorts and underwear and I got back on the bed naked.

I had expected we would get under the covers, but, instead, Sinead had us sit on the covers facing each other. Our bodies were next to each other's with my legs over her legs, which were wrapped around me. Our crotches were touching. We held each other close.

Sinead smiled at me. She had planned all this, and I had meekly gone along. She was right - I couldn't resist her.

Sinead kissed me. It was a short kiss, but clearly a kiss from a girlfriend, not a sister. It felt so right.

"I love you, Noel. Do you love me?"

"Yes," I said in a defeated voice.

"And you can't resist me. If I wanted to fuck right now, you'd go along. And if we fucked right now, you'd fuck me again tonight; and you'd fuck me again tomorrow; and you'd fuck me every day after that. Wouldn't you?"

I didn't answer. We both knew it was true.

"But I'm stopping here, Noel. I want to fuck you, but, more importantly, I want you to want to fuck me. I want you to love me like you've loved me all summer. You're the only fella for me, Noel, but you have to choose to be me fella. Know that if you don't choose to be me fella, we'll both be miserable for years, if not for the rest of our lives. What do you want, Noel?"

I sighed. "Sinead, we're brother and sister."

"You're the brother of Sinead Murphy. She's gone. We said goodbye to her a little while ago. I'm Sinead Hayes now, daughter of an upstanding farming couple that you aren't related to."

"Sinead, regardless of what name you go by, we're still brother and sister."

"It will be our secret. And that's fine - all couples have secrets. Your parents kept how long they were married a secret."

I felt like Sinead was running circles around me. "Your dad knows."

"And my dad will say nothing because he knows if he ever says anything, it will come out that he knocked up Mam while he was engaged to Maeve."

"What about kids? Wouldn't our kids be fucked up?"

"Kids are way out there in the future, and hopefully we'll be making enough money by then that we'll have lots of options if we need to work around that."

I had been tossing out any old question that had popped into my head. If Sinead and I had to adopt, would it change anything?

What did I want? If Sinead and I wanted to be a couple, almost certainly no one would ever know we were brother and sister. It would take some serious digging to turn up that we were related. What did I want? I said earlier that I wanted Sinead to be happy. She's made it clear what would make her happy. And being her boyfriend again would certainly make me happy. However, I had hated keeping all summer that I was her brother a secret from her. Did I really want to keep it a secret from everyone else for forever?

"Sinead, I love you. But we're brother and sister. It's wrong for us to be a couple." The confident smile was gone from her face. "I don't know why it's wrong for us to be a couple. I don't know if anyone ever said to me that it would be wrong for me to have sex with my sister." She was definitely worried now. "No one has to tell me that I should never touch Erin or Riley in a sexual way. It's just wrong. So I don't think we should be a couple."

Sinead was crestfallen. She hung her head.

I had expected a 'you're right but that sucks' look. Instead, Sinead had a 'I can't believe the idiot decided that' look. I realized I had missed something; that she had said something she had thought had turned things around, and I had missed it. I thought over what she had said, and I realized what I had missed. And yes, I was an idiot.

I couldn't take back what I had said, so I added to it by saying, "That is, we shouldn't be a couple unless we both believe that the other is truly the only person for them."

A smile exploded onto Sinead's face. "I'm willing to let you convince me that you're the only person for me." She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me down so that I was lying on top of her. "Tell me how much you love me."

Well, I had given her a bad scare, so it was the least I could do. "I love you, Sinead, with all my heart and all my soul. And you're right, I can't resist you. I've tried and I've tried, and each time, I failed badly. So I'm not going to try to resist you anymore. You're going to have to put up with me loving you forever. I hope you can handle that."

Sinead kissed me. Her eyes sparkled with joy. "I've got a few questions before I'm totally convinced." I had been kneeling above Sinead, but she moved and pushed my legs as she spoke so that we ended up in the missionary position.

"Who's in charge?" Sinead asked.

"You are."

I kissed Sinead hungrily. I slipped my tongue into her mouth then our tongues dueled rapidly. Thrust and parry. Block and riposte. I felt so light, like a huge burden that I had carried all summer was gone from my shoulders. I loved Sinead, and she loved me, both as we are.

"That was so wonderful," said Sinead, "I almost forgot my next question."

I felt Sinead's hand grab my cock and guide it to her pussy lips, where she held it in place.

"Are you ever going to keep a secret from me bigger than what present you're going to buy me?"

"Never."

Sinead pulled the crown of my cock into her. I pushed slowly from there. She wasn't as wet as when I've made her come before penetrating her so I took my time pushing into her. Eventually, I was buried all the way into her.

"I love you, Sinead."

I felt so great to be able to say it without holding back. No secret asterisk. No hidden caveat. No fine print. I loved her as much as any man has ever loved a woman.

"I love you, Noel."

I pulled slowly back. It felt so good to be in Sinead again. We were made for each other. Tingles flowed up my cock then through the rest of my body. Her pussy was wonderfully tight as it wrapped around my cock. It offered resistance as I buried my cock in her again, but it was a joyful embrace kind of resistance.

"Don't...stop...fucking me," said Sinead as she writhed in pleasure on my cock.

I loved looking down on her beautiful face. We had done it. We had come through the storm and ended up more in love on the other side.

"I have one last question," said Sinead. She flashed me an impish smile. "Now that we have this nice apartment, are we going to fuck only in the missionary position on your bed?"

"No way."

I grabbed Sinead, and, while still embedded in her, dragged her to the edge of the bed so that I could stand up and fuck her. I resumed plunging in and out of her.