My Experiences in Swinging

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I have described the lifestyle, as I experienced it, in some of my stories. I did not really give details about my experience in the lifestyle. So let's start with those two things.

The lifestyle.

So, what is the lifestyle? The lifestyle is not what most people think. It's not just fucking other people. There are a whole spectrum of behaviors and venues for people to meet and interact in the lifestyle.

To meet people most people start with classified ads. There are websites that cater to swingers. A big classified board used topmost ads. In fact we met two couples through that site and they became our closest friends. One we've had sex with, one we haven't.

Another way to meet people is through swinger parties. There are many venues. They include:

Off premises clubs, or parties

On premise clubs or parties

Private get togethers.

Off premise is usually a dance or party in a hotel or meet at a club where no sex is allowed. On premise means the event is held somewhere that there are rooms to go have sex in. Usually in a private home.

Both of these are usually advertised on swinger websites.

Single men and women do join these websites. More men than women. Parties often limit the amount of single men that can attend but often do allow them. There are couples that look for other men to join them.

People who ate these nuts participate at all different levels. For example you will see couples that do only same room sex or girl on girl action. Everyone does what they feel comfortable with. No means No. this rule is strictly enforced by everyone there. I have seen people asked to leave for not listening. Obviously something that may turn one person on, is not always right for someone else. Everyone sets their own limits. Some of the behaviors we've seen are:

Same room sex

Soft swap, (we define as just oral)

Girl on girl only

Full swap. Same room, or different rooms.

FMF

MFM

Men who like to watch their women

Women who like to watch their men.

Multiple men, one girl.

Men or women who like their wives dating.

Multiple couples in one room, all swapping back and forth.

We never saw bi male contact.

How did we get started?

Well my now husband started before me. When he was single he was on aol chatrooms. He would date lots of women. He was handsome and funny and had no trouble meeting women. He was also just divorced, and as he says, 'didn't like women very much'. Basically he was out to fuck, not date. On the good side, he would tell people he was a slut. Strangely this got him more dates. Women found him the 'bad boy' and liked that.

During this time he had the opportunity to sleep with a few married women. He had had threesomes back In college. He set up a few on aol. He particularly liked threesomes with a married couple. He didn't know what it was called then.

He heard online about a hotel that had swinger parties. He invited one of his married women to go with him. They went a few times. They always hooked up with other couples, single men, or single women. He liked it and went as often as he could with different women and enjoyed all kinds of sex. He found his favorite part was seeing how slutty a woman could be. He'd had plenty of women. Now he likes watching a women taking multiple cocks.

Why did I marry him? By the time I met him he had burned through this. He realized that he wanted more. He'd actually set a three date rule where he wouldn't sleep with a woman until the third date, and only if he thought there would be a fourth date. I was ready on the second date, he made me wait.

We did talk about his past. What he said was that he realized he did all these things and had no one to reminisce about them with. He said he wanted to be old, sitting on a porch, holding someone's hand and giggling about the things they'd done.

So, what about that appealed to me. Well, lots of reasons, he was a handsome man, very witty, knowledgeable, had a great job, and I knew, through the way he approached me, he was a bit of a bad boy. He knew how to fuck, and how to make love, and when to do which.

I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I had to concentrate on my daughter. I saw women who brought men into their children's lives right away. I didn't want to do that.

He got a date with me because, believe it or not he was a great dad. That's mostly what we talked about the day we met. He had his kids four days a week and usually they spent the other three with him. For some part of the day.

Their mother was an alcoholic. I could relate. My ex was a serious pothead

We went on a few dates and became, well, fuck buddies. Neither of us looked for exclusivity, we didn't even talk about it. Turns out we both were exclusive, just didn't demand it.

Me? I was always sexual. I got married right out of highschool. He turned out to be abusive and a drug user. He was also uncomfortable with the fact that I loved sex. After all if I loved sex so much I'd probably want some somewhere else because he thought he wasn't very good at it. He was fine, and we were learning, but I had to leave him because of the drugs and violence.

I serial dated for a while. Date for a year, find another. Eventually I wanted a child. I just got pregnant with the man I was currently with telling myself I was in love with him.

After the baby we were together for five years. He was an inconsiderate pothead. Did I know this before the baby? Probably, but I did not want to admit it. Our relationship went downhill. We never married.

I had a brief affair, someone I met in an online chat room. That really wasn't satisfying. Neither was sex with my partner. He took me for granted. He was a tradesman and would not take a shower or clean under his nails. The he wanted to put them inside of me. I would make him clean up, and if he didn't, no sex. He also only knew how to please himself.

He also worried. He knew I loved sex. He often came too fast leaving me wanting more.

Before I met my husband I had been celebate for a year.

So, why did we go through all this? Because it leads to the lifestyle.

My husband told me he never wanted to be in a relationship where he had to keep secrets or feel he couldn't say stuff. His ex wife would always be mad at him. If he said something, and it could be taken two ways, she would always take it the worst way possible. If he had a thought that she thought was inappropriate she would be mad for days. He didn't want that again.

So basically he told me everything. I did ask him how many people he'd had sex with. He told me he didn't remember nor could he remember who they were. He said that when we went out we'd probably run into them and he would not know their names. I thought he was just exaggerating. Turns out we ran into lots of women who said hi. It seems none of them were mad at him. They knew what he was up front because he told them.

So, I learned about his past. Honestly it intrigued me. I had sexual fantasies of my own. One passionate night in the aftermath he asked me. I told him I was bi curious. Once, during my celebate period, I was getting a massage. The woman was working on my upper thighs. She was very pretty and I kept wishing she'd move her hand a little north.

The second thing I told him was about my favorite fantasy. I read it in the penthouse forums book I kept in my nightstand. My favorite was about a husband and wife on a boat with other men. Eventually she takes on all the men with her husbands approval and he still loves her afterwards. My husband actually knew the story. He liked it as well.

About this point he asked me to go to a swingers party. It was a huge one in the city. It was an off premises party. No sex at the venue. The fun was you could dress and act as sexy as you wanted. I wore an LBD, thong, stockings, and garters. The music was pulsing and it was fun dancing. Couples would grind against each other as they got to know each other on the dance floor.

A lot of women approached me and started dancing with me and of course my husband by inclusion. They'd ask if their husbands could join. We girls would dirty dance against each other, and the men, while we all got to know each other. Often my stockings and garters were showing. I didn't mind. After all, everyone was dressed slutty. There were even girls topless, some of them pole dancing on raised platforms. My dress would slide to my hips and I'd just keep dancing. My story 'Alisa and mark' is partly based on this experience.

After a few hours I was in sensory overload. There was a man hitting on me I wasn't enjoying. I asked if we could go home. My husband was talking to this beautiful brunette and her husband. He saw my face and whisked me out of there. I'd had a great time but enough.

By leaving he made me realize that he would protect me and if I was uncomfortable, we left, no questions asked. That made me feel safe and willing to try again.

We went home by ourselves and fucked till I was exhausted. We would relive moments at the crowd where I was making out with a girl or two, or grinding extra slutty. My husbad knew just how to talk about it while fucking me to keep me at the right level of excitement. The best part is there was no judgement, for the most part, on your participation level.

We tried out several of these venues. In looks we were middle of the road on the hotter side. Maybe 7s. Eventually parties seem to cater to different groups. Hot young things, middle of the road, BBW/BBM. You find the group you are comfortable with. We found our group. Actually groups.

My first bi experience as an off premises dance. The group had rented a hall at a motel for the dance. We decided to stay overnight at the motel. We went to the party and danced. We noticed a fairly attractive girl sitting with a much older and extremely heavy man. At one point my husband was off getting drinks. The guy she was with had left the hall. I went up to talk to her. Seems he invited her to come because he couldn't get in as a single man. She had no intention of having sex with him.

After talking to her I invited her to our room. She agreed. When we got there she and I started making out and undressing each other. My husband got undressed and started playing with her pussy. She told me she didn't want to get fucked. I told my husband and we promised her we wouldn't try.

Eventually, she left our room. I looked at my husband and said, "Well, I'm definitely bi."

We were eventually invited to an on premises party. It was like a cocktail party where everyone dressed sexier. This one played a game after everyone had met to kind of get the partners swapping. I said I wasn't comfortable swapping yet, they said no problem and hooked me up with my husband. We ended up having sex in the same room as other couples. It was extremely hot. I liked that there was no pressure to do something I didn't want to.

We went to a few on and off premises parties, about one every six weeks. We danced and flirted with other couples but mostly played by ourselves while there were other couples in the same room (same room sex). My husband was extremely attentive to me. Once at a hotel, a couple invited us to their room with a bunch of other couples. The woman of the couple was really into my husband. I wasn't as much into the guy, but I would have given him a BJ just to watch my husband fuck his wife.

However when we got to the room, the husband kind of pinned me against a wall and tried to kiss me. I felt trapped. My husband looked at me, saw my face, grabbed me by the arm, and got me out of there. Again proving that he was protecting me at all times.

At one of these parties I had my second bi experience. I told one person I was newly bi. By the end of the night I was in a kitten pile. Her eating and fingering my pussy, one woman kissing me, and two sucking on each breast. I was in heaven.

After a few years we proceeded to oral sex with others (soft swap). Truthfully, I love giving blow jobs. I like making a man cum, and I love it when he can't control himself and sprays his cum on me. My husband likes BJs but rarely cums from one. (See my story BJs can be boring. It's a true story). He has to really jack off while I suck him to make him cum on me.

Me, I loved the power the blow jobs gave me. I was in control. Women run the lifestyle. No means no. Guys who I sucked were extremely attentive and grateful. I loved it.

Eventually we tried full swap. I enjoyed it. More than that, I liked watching my husband fuck. I knew he was a great fuck. I liked the idea of other women finding out. He has a great cock, about 8" long about as thick as the tube in a roll of toilet paper with a big thicker head. Just the sweet side of too big. Often he was the biggest cock in the room and women admired and wanted it. It made me proud they were so envious.

I imagine cuckolds have the same feeling about their wives.

We were not what we call hardcore. There are couples that do this every weekend. We we went to parties about every six weeks. They were fun. A good group of people. It was mostly like attending a cocktail party with friends. Although we went to parties we "played" maybe twice a year. Interestingly a lot of our partners were first timers. (See my story 'Unexpected Threesome. It's a true story.") New couples liked us. We were non-pushy and went at their pace. We were happy with their limits.

Most times we would leave with each other turned on by the situation, but not having met another couple that floated both our boats or that we floated theirs.

That being said, there are a number of funny things that have happened to us.

You can read my story, 'misadventures in swinging'. They are true stories.

Eventually we stopped meeting people one on one from classified ads. Even those on swinger sites. Too many turned out to be sending out ten year old pictures.

We continued to go to parties and met people for 14 years. We went from same rooms sex to having tried everything we wanted to. All my sexual fantasies/curiosities were met.

Lots of times I see the comment that swinging breaks a marriage. It brought us closer. We really needed to trust each other and be able to discuss difficult topics.