by MelissaBaby
I have read this one chapter after the other and was totally involved in the story.
Your writing is excellent! Good punctuation spelling etc but much more importantly you can tell a credible believable story
I sense a lot more than just a creation of an active mind at work, it comes across as at least some personal experience.
Whether I am right or wrong is irrelevant, you tell a story in a way that holds the attention - please keep writing, you are good
Yes, it has been good so far ... nice storyline ... Was a bit confused about the first chapters with their abrupt changed settings ... think it is getting better
Thank You
:-)))
The other two comments are spot on. Don't let a foul comment stop you. You have a great sense of genuineness going here. It feels like your personal story, so keep at it. Watch for the rare technical writing error, but your writing over all is very good.
"We rolled on, through sad tired cities, Rochester and Buffalo and Erie and Cleveland"
I'm from Cleveland,, thats just mean man, just mean... Joking... another interesting chapter in your life.
Me oh my, you given me the real feels this chapter, lovely written with heart ❣
This story seems as though it is going into a happy phase. I do hope things turn out alright for Melissa.
Still loving it. Still riding the rollercoaster. I find myself cringing at the expectation of the impending train wreck with Nicky, and alternately hopeful for Melissa in the "after the fall" chapters.*****
This is such a 'real' experience you can believe every word. If it's your imagination building the scenes, than you are an exceptional writer - and if it's an autobiography (as suggested here), then ... you are an exceptional writer :)
Some trusted people or just one, a great start into a new beginning …. And a real pizza, stone oven pizza, yeah im in …… Melissa, wonderful and now im hoping you write her in to a lovely future
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🍀
Wonderful story, but there is no “real pizza” in Detroit. It’s too dense focaccia with a tiny bit of sauce and cheese.
NY has their decent but soggy thin crust.
Chicago has delicate and crispy thin crust pizza and earth shattering deep dish pizza.
I also had some amazing pizza in Venice and Florence. Who knew the Italians could make pizza?!?
Detroit? I think they grease their rectangular pizza pans with 40W Valvoline.
A nice twist in the plot, Melissa’s mum is right, she needed to move and make a new start. Her grandmother appears to be just the right sort of eccentric to help her.