My Fantasies Ch. 04

"Okay...I mean, yes, Sir," I said. Somehow I felt more at ease addressing him as 'Sir'...calling him by his first name had seemed wholly inappropriate.

"Secondly, I WILL be asking you sensitive and very personal questions and you WILL provide me with thoughtful, and complete responses...I have a sincere and serious motive for asking you these questions, so I expect serious answers from you---is that clear, Johnny?"

"Y-Yes, Sir," I said as another cold shiver raced up my spine. I certainly didn't want to answer any more personal questions, but strangely, I didn't want him to leave, either. I not only was enjoying the strength of his arm holding me close to him, and while answering his questions was sometimes emotionally painful, I also felt a sense of relief that honesty can sometimes bring you.

He reached for the television remote control, and changed the video. Instead of two guys and a gal, we were now watching two guys...to be more accurate, an older man and a boy about my age. I averted my eyes from the lewd scene on the screen.

He noticed my reaction, chuckled, then said, "Too close to home?"

"No-no-no, it's just that---"

"I've been watching you at work," he interrupted, "...and I've seen how you respond to different people...when Linda asks you to do something, you're polite, and you quietly go about your business...but when I, or the warehouse men 'order' you around, you eagerly, and quite enthusiastically, obey our every command...it seems to me you enjoy pleasing men more than women."

My face turned fifty shades of red as I contemplated what he'd said.

"You also tend to question the orders Linda gives you, while you passively accept whatever project a man gives you...it appears to me you're a submissive boy who derives great pleasure from satisfying men."

OH MY GOD---HOW COULD HE ASK ME THAT QUESTION? Worse yet, how do I answer it?

And miraculously, we heard the lock on The Darkroom door open, and saw the small light change from red to green---I was saved from having to give him an answer.

The door swung open and two figures emerged into the flickering light of the video. One was the boy I'd seen earlier wearing a jockstrap, his hands still cuffed behind his back. The older gentleman with him wore a slight smile on his face.

"Terrance," called out Thomas. "I trust all went well in The Darkroom?"

"Is that you, Thomas? Hard to see in this light...yes, Toby performed admirably...it is always invigorating when I forbid him to use his hands...he becomes very passionate, and VERY enthusiastic when using only his mouth...if you like, I'll have him service you next?"

"If you don't mind, Terrance, I'll take a rain check."

It was then I saw the bulge in the boy's jockstrap; his hard-on obscenely tented-out the tiny pouch.

"Perhaps at my party in two-weeks!"

"Yes, I'll be looking forward to it!"

The man stared directly at me, smiled and ominously said, "So will I, Thomas, so will I."

When they were gone he asked me, "So Johnny, what do you think just happened between those two in The Darkroom?"

"Well, uh, I---"

"JOHNNY---there's no room for shyness in our relationship---we speak candidly and honestly to each other!"

"Y-Yes, Sir."

"NOW---what do you think Toby and Terrance did in The Darkroom?"

"Well, Sir, I think Toby gave Terrance a blowjob with his hands behind his back," I managed to say even though it embarrassed the hell out of me.

"Whose hands behind whose back---be specific, boy---and Good Lord, a blowjob? That's rather impersonal, isn't it?"

What does he want from me? "I-I think Toby was on his knees, his hands cuffed behind his back and he sucked Terrance's cock using just his mouth."

"Do you think Terrance allowed Toby to climax?"

My God, why is he so insistent upon talking about this? "No...Toby had an, uh, erection when they came out of The Darkroom."

"Good observation," said Sir as he squeezed my shoulder. I was strangely happy he was pleased with my answer.

He pointed at the naked guys on the screen and asked me,"Tell me, Johnny, have you ever been nude with a man? And I don't mean in the after-gym class shower room..."

We heard talking, and watched as another older man/younger guy went into The Darkroom.

"Have you ever been naked with a man in a sexual situation? Johnny, almost all guys experiment at some time or another in their lives."

I breathed a sigh of relief. He'd given me an 'out'---an excuse...

"Well, there was the time when my roommate invited me to a party one of his co-workers was having..."

"Your roommate, were you sexually attracted to him?"

HUH? WHAT? "No-no-no, we were friends from high school---we had crummy jobs and couldn't afford to live on our own so we found a two-bedroom apartment together!"

"Okay, relax, calm down...go ahead with your story."

"Anyway, I had to work late that night so I drove to the guys house directly from work...everyone was pretty drunk by the time I got there so I decided to catch-up---I chugged down whiskey pretty fast...well, the guy who was hosting the party was all over me---I mean, we talked and talked and it became obvious that he liked me..."

"You mean he liked you 'sexually'---isn't that right?"

"Well, uh, yes...and I don't know why, but quite a few guys have come onto me---I don't know why they think I'm gay, but it is kind of flattering..."

"What was his name?"

"Tony, which I thought was kind of odd because he looked Middle Eastern and he said he was born in Iran...anyway, it was getting late and I was pretty drunk and I noticed people leaving but I kept on drinking until he and I were the only ones left...I figured I'd get a ride from my roommate but he was gone...Tony said my roommate picked up a hot girl and asked him to ask me to stay away from our apartment for awhile...well, I wasn't in any shape to drive anyway...Tony became aggressive with me---his hands were all over me---he was a fairly big guy and strong, too---when he held me and hugged me I had a difficult time breaking away from him...he said if I gave him a kiss he would leave me alone...I couldn't believe it---I'd never kissed a guy before!"

"Did you kiss him?"

"Well, yeah, I HAD to otherwise I thought he'd hurt me..."

"Did you like kissing him?"

"Oh God no---he had this stubble on his face that felt like sandpaper!"

"What happened next?"

"I don't how it happened, maybe I blacked-out, but the next thing I remember is we're both naked in his bed and he's on top of me and we're kissing and his thick tongue in my mouth is making me gag...he's holding my head still and forcing his tongue in and out of my mouth...he's staring into my eyes and saying how pretty I am and how much he wants to fuck me..."

"How did that make you feel?"

"It scared the hell out of me---he'd forced my hand on his cock and made me move it up-and-down---GOOD GOD---the damn thing was huge---he would have killed me if he'd stuck that monster inside me!"

"So basically, your only objection to getting fucked in the ass was the size of his cock?"

HUH? WHAT? "Well, it would have torn me apart!"

"Go on, what happened next?"

"Well, he rolled off me onto his back and was still saying how pretty I was and how he was going to fuck me, so I kept masturbating him...I figured if I made him cum with my hands, he'd be happy and leave me alone!"

"So, did you bring him off?"

"Well, I pumped him faster-and-faster thinking it would be any second now, but then I heard him snoring, and his cock began to go soft..."

"You didn't see that he'd fallen asleep? What were you looking at while you were jerking him off?"

My face went red again. "Well, you know, I was staring at his cock---it helped me concentrate..."

"Plus, you liked looking at it, didn't you?"

"Well, I'd never seen anything that big before..."

"Did he have big balls, too?"

"They were huge!" I said, instantly regretting my words.

"Did you feel his balls? Did you rub his balls while you masturbated his cock?"

"I—uh, well, you know..."

"Johnny, truth and honesty!"

"Uh, yes, I rubbed his balls while I masturbated his cock!"

"Good boy...what happened next?"

"Well, when his cock went soft, and his snoring got louder and louder, by that time I was sober enough to drive so I got dressed and left."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"No, my roommate said to me once 'Tony keeps asking about you---what did you guys do after I left the party?'...I told him we drank and shot pool..."

"Did you ever have sex with your roommate?"

"NO---of course not!"

I wondered if I'd said too much...revealing such intimate details of my personal life gave him a certain power over me...didn't it?

"Go on---what happened the second time you were naked with a man?"

"I---I, uh---what makes you think I did it again?" I asked. I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach.

He surprised me by leaning in then kissing my cheek. His hand rubbing my shoulders had a calming affect.

He whispered in my ear, "Sweetie, I knew a boy like you once---when he felt his first hot and hard cock---he couldn't wait to feel another one."

What does he want from me? Why is he making me say these awful things?

"Johnny, you're wasting my time---if I can't trust you to be open and honest with me---perhaps I misread your character...I thought you were a boy with integrity---I may have to reconsider your future with my company!"

"No, please, Sir---I AM honest and I DO have integrity---my father taught me to tell the truth, and always do the right thing!"

"In that case, boy, tell me about your second time you had sex with a man."

How does he even know this? Why does he want to humiliate me?

"Well, there was one more time, you know, I just wanted to try it one more time..."

"Of course you did---you couldn't get the image, or the feel of Tony's cock out of your mind...you had to try it again---it's only natural."

"Well, uh, I---"

"You're going to describe EVERYTHING to me...from the time you met him—to the moment you left him...how did you meet him?"

It was something I had vowed to myself to never talk about with anyone---it was the dirtiest secret I had---a secret so bad I couldn't even rationalize or justify my own behavior that night...and now it was too late---he'd already gotten me to admit what I did with Tony...I could only trust he was telling the truth when he promised no one else will ever know what I say to him.

His voice softened as he added, "Remember, Johnny, no one will ever know what we talk about, okay?"

"Okay...yes, Sir."

"How did you meet him?"

I took a deep gulp of air and told myself to just do it---tell him what happened.

"There's a park near where I was living at the time...it had a reputation...it was a place at night where guys went to meet other guys...I'd never been there before...I was drinking---it was getting late—around midnight...I drove there and sat in the car and looked around...it was dark, I didn't see anyone..."

"How did you feel when you didn't see anyone in the park---disappointed?"

"Yeah, I guess so...I decided to walk the path around the small pond to the men's room---I had to take a leak, anyway..."

"Okay, go on..."

"So I'm walking on the path, looking for anyone, but I was alone...then all of a sudden a guy was almost in my face---he had to have come out of the shadows of all the trees...I don't remember exactly what he said...all I know is he had an apartment less than a block away and asked me if I wanted to go there...I said 'yes' and the next thing I know we're sitting on his sofa and he's lighting-up a joint...I have never smoked a lot of weed---I prefer alcohol, but I thought maybe it would calm me down---I was pretty nervous..."

"How old was he? Your age? Older?"

"He was probably five-or-ten years older than me---I don't even remember what he looked like---I mean, he wasn't hideous or anything---I just don't remember...I don't think we ever told each other our names either...anyway, we're starting to feel good and we were still just sitting there and I don't know what to do in these situations---I don't know if there's some protocol as to who makes the first move...anyway, he asks me if I want to play strip poker and I said 'yes'...it made me think he wasn't very experienced either---I mean, I would have taken-off my clothes if he'd just asked...so it wasn't long until we were in our underwear, and finally I lost the next hand and was naked in front of him..."

"Did you have a hard-on?"

"Not at that point---it seemed kind of silly, I mean, we both knew why we were there---I wondered why he wouldn't make a move...he wore tighty-whities and I saw that he was hard...anyway, I had to take a leak so I went into the bathroom and was standing at the toilet when I felt him behind me...he held my shoulders and he moved close behind me, and, uh, well I felt his, uh, cock press against my butt...he leaned into me and bit my earlobe...he said 'Are you top or bottom?' and I honestly didn't know what he was talking about...he began pinching my nipples while he rammed his tongue in and out of my ear..."

'Did you have a hard-on at this point?"

"Well, yeah, he was pretty good...anyway, he said something in a whisper that I had to ask him to repeat...'I want to fuck you...would you like me to fuck you?'...I don't know why but I said 'Yes, I'd like that'...then he asked me 'Have you had a bowel movement recently?'---that just blew my mind---why did he ask me that? That's crazy! But then he said 'We don't want any accidents when we're in bed'---OH---then I understood..."

Thomas chuckled and squeezed my shoulder. "Yes, THAT can be embarrassing...what happened next?"

"Well, it just so happened, I, uh, took a crap before I left the apartment so I told him...he said 'Good' then said he was going to oil me...again, I didn't know what he meant so I said 'Okay' and watched him open a bottle of baby oil...he stood behind me, and said 'Open your legs wider'...I did as I was told and watched in the medicine cabinet mirror as he covered his middle finger with oil---that's when I knew what he was going to do---"

"That he was going to push his oiled finger into your asshole!"

WOW---he sure made THAT sound dirty! "Well, yes..."

"Tell me, boy, was your asshole virgin?"

I flushed another fifty shades of red. "Wha-what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean---you claimed Tony was your first, but how do I really know that's true? Again, had you ever taken a man's hard cock in your asshole prior to that night?"

"No—no, of course not---I'm telling you the truth, Sir---I am not lying to you---I was a virgin that night!"

He smiled, kissed my cheek and said, "I believe you, Sweetie---now continue."

That was twice he'd called me 'Sweetie'---what's going on here?

"Well, he lived in a studio apartment---his bed was only a few feet from the sofa...anyway, he led me to the end of the bed, and said 'Get on all-fours'...I did what he wanted, but I guess I wasn't back far enough because he grabbed my waist and pulled me further back until my knees were on the edge of the bed---then he said "Spread your legs apart' and I did...and, he, uh, stood behind me and I felt the head of his cock pressing against, my, uh, anus..."

"What were you thinking at that moment? Were you aware of the fact that a man you'd known for maybe an hour, a complete stranger, was about to push his hard penis inside you?"

"Well, you know, when I felt the heat from his, uh, cockhead on my asshole, it kind of, uh, took my breath away..."

"You wanted to feel his cock inside you, didn't you, Sweetie?"

"Well...yeah..."

"You wanted this man to make you his bitch, didn't you?"

"No, I-I didn't think that---I just wanted to feel his cock inside me!"

"Go on, Sweetie, what happened next?"

"Well...he began pushing it in---slowly---but I, uh, it began to hurt...I don't know how much of it he had inside me---maybe just the head, but it hurt and I asked him to stop---I couldn't take anymore..."

"What did he do?"

"He pulled out and swore at me..."

"So, once again, your only objection to getting ass-fucked was his cock was too big! What did he say?"

"He, uh, called me a fucking prick-tease---he wanted to know why I wasted his time if I wasn't serious---he yelled at me saying it was 'too damn late to find another boy'---he was mad..."

"What did you say? Anything? Or did you just leave his apartment?"

"I felt pretty bad about it...I was sorry I couldn't go thru with it...he was sitting on the sofa---he had a towel over his, uh, you know...he was masturbating thru the towel...when he calmed down he asked 'You're not going to leave me like this are you? Can you at least give me a handjob?'..."

"And did you? Or did you leave him in his state of arousal and make him do it himself?"

"No-no, I felt bad for him---I went and sat beside him and pushed his hand away and masturbated him myself."

"Thru the towel?"

"Yeah, I kept waiting for him to take off the towel so I could use my hand on his, uh, bare skin, but he never did..."

"He wasn't very assertive or aggressive, was he?"

"No, he wasn't...it surprised me...he'd obviously picked-up guys before, but he seemed pretty shy about it---I was kind of, well, you know..."

"Disappointed?"

"Well, I don't know about that..."

"Yes, you were disappointed---you wanted to masturbate his naked cock! You wanted to feel his cock in your hand!"

"Yes, I guess so..."

"...and if he'd asked, or TOLD you to suck his cock you would have obeyed him, wouldn't you?"

A cold chill raced up my spine. "I, uh, well, uh---"

"Say it, Johnny...if he had told you to take his cock in your mouth you would happily have gone to your knees and suck him off because THAT is what you wanted to do all along!"

OH MY GOD---"NO---well, I, uh, maybe, I don't know...you're confusing me."

"Tell me the truth about that night, Johnny---you were disappointed he didn't have you suck his cock! You wanted to be on your knees between his legs with his hard cock in your mouth---you wanted to wrap your lips around his cock---you wanted to feel the heat of his cock in your mouth---you wanted to run your tongue all over his cock---you wanted him to cum in your mouth and make you swallow it so you could find out what cum tastes like---say it, Johnny---SAY IT!"

My entire body was shaking. My mind kept screaming 'no-no-no-no' but suddenly I heard another voice and I couldn't believe what it was saying---"YES---I WANTED TO SUCK HIS COCK...yes, I was disappointed he didn't make me get on my knees and take his cock in my mouth---yes, I wanted him to cum in my mouth---I wanted to taste his cum---yes, I would have swallowed it all---I would have swallowed every damn drop of his cum---he wasn't much of a man---all he had to do was TELL ME and I would have done it all for him!"

I buried my face against his arm. He hugged me tightly, and caressed my hair .I don't know why, but it suddenly felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders...I felt such relief, and happiness that I had to blink away tears of joy in my eyes.

"Yes, I was disappointed that night," I admitted to not only Thomas, but to myself, as well.

"I know you were, Sweetie, but now you have a chance to get over it and move on with your life, and I'm going to help you any way I can...you can begin by telling me what you REALLY fantasize about when you masturbate."

The truth is like a dam that bursts and nothing can hold back the rushing waters.

"Men, and what they have me do for them," I said out loud for the first time in my life. "I dream about men ordering me to my knees---telling me to open their slacks and take out their cocks---commanding me to 'suck it good' and when they climax tell me to 'swallow it all'...I'm bending over, the man says 'spread your legs wider apart'---of course, I obey...he says 'reach back, take hold of my cock and put it in your pussy'---I almost climax when I feel the heat of his cockhead as it enters me...I don't know why I think of these things---or why I want to make men happy...I think there's something wrong with me."