My Fragile Male Ego

"I think the money is a bigger part of the issue with my wife. I don't bring home enough for her. She works as a school administrator so we have a double income. We live well, have a modest but very nice home, and I paid for my daughter's college education so she could avoid student loans. We go out to eat at least once a week to a nice restaurant. We travel a couple a times a year and she gets to buy the occasional piece of jewelry especially when we go on cruises. But she wants more. Fancier cars, even though ours are only a couple years old. She got pissed when I bought this car back from my sister in law in return for one of our bailouts. She said a simple hybrid is beneath our station even though this vehicle has been adapted to be far from simple. She drives a small sporty coupe but wants more. She claims I should go in and demand a raise. I know I could get one but she'd just spend the extra or give it to her sister and we'd be right back where we are."

I did not add my brother had a nicer house or at least bigger one than mine but also had more kids. I'd told Donna years ago we did not need a bigger house with more useless unfilled bedrooms. She never budged on the 'no more kids' front.

"I don't want to be an ass, but it seems like your wife might be unhappy you aren't pushing for a raise. She seems to think you should demand it even if you think your lifestyle is good. She thinks all you have to do is ask and you refuse." Gary offered.

"Well, part of that is my brother is my boss." I said. Gary looked at me in confusion. "Yeah, Bob is the CEO and general manager. Thing is we draw the same income, which my wife also knows. She just thinks we are both selling ourselves short."

I did not want to reveal the rest of the story. Not then and not to a man I did not know well who had heard more about my private life than he should. Bob and I not only worked for Esync, we owned it, or rather our trust owned the controlling interest. We set our income level to be comfortable but not excessive.

My older brother Bob was also trained as an engineer but liked the business side and got an MBA so when he graduated, he started a small firm building computerized control units for various electronics. We'd used money from our inheritance which was all locked away in a trust. The trust had paid for both our college educations.

Of course Bob 'hired' me even before I'd graduated. The company had paid me while I went back to school for an advanced degree. I'd been married at the time with a baby so my wife welcomed the money. We just never bothered to let it be known how the company's infrastructure was formulated. Our families just assumed we held senior positions because we had been with the company since it's inception. We hired special talent to make it run although for years now, our human resources hired most of the workers.

The trust protected the company, but our individual assets were all subject to community property laws. That was part of what I was thinking about when Gary and his partner had tapped on my window earlier.

"So your wife thinks you are too soft to get with your brother and demand to be paid what you are worth." Gary surmised. I nodded.

He did not come out and say it or ask, but I could tell he wondered if I was a wimp. Maybe I was in my wife's eyes. But I was happy with my job and my current lifestyle. We could live even better if she did not squander our money on her sister.

"So have you made any decisions so far?" he asked. I told him only that I would be getting a divorce. I was not about to accept the disrespect. Twenty four years of marriage be damned. "I think you need to have a talk with your daughter. You may be afraid of her reaction, but you need to hear it." he offered. I nodded reluctantly. Then he suggested he drive me home and when I cringed he said. "Well, your wife is not going to be there. But I can see where you might be reluctant stay there. You know, be seen as the rejected husband waiting for his wife to come home." I raised my middle finger. He shrugged as he smiled knowing he was getting a reaction. "Were it me, I'd be packing up my wife's shit, and trying to establish my territory. But if your situation turns out like one of my fellow officers, your wife is gonna just move right back in. I'd at least get some of my personal stuff secured. Change the combination on the safe if you have one. Grab up important paperwork. Just no driving around tonight."

"I've been thinking about that." I admitted. "I just didn't want to take the risk of getting angry and start smashing up the place. Or maybe burn the place down. I fantasized about that part. The house is paid for and I don't think it is a crime if I don't file for insurance."

Gary shook his head. "Getting drunk and staying in a hotel is certainly cheaper than letting your anger get ahead of common sense and lashing out. You probably would not be arrested for arson, but your wife could still sue you for destroying her stuff even if she doesn't actually file charges for vandalism. Plus she owns half of all of it. Not worth the risk." He stopped to frown. "Even finding my girlfriend cheating on me was not reason for me to kick her out. Not according to the law. Because she was living there already and it was considered her home, she got to stay. We have some stupid ass laws about evicting people."

I asked him how he handled it. "Oh she got to stay in the apartment, but that didn't mean I had to stay with her. So I moved all my stuff out and I mean ALL my stuff. The furniture was mine, so when I got finished all that was left was her clothes hanging in the closet, and what had been in the dresser was left folded neatly on the floor. Her toiletries were still in the bathroom and her computer and all her books and stuff were on the floor. I left the food in the fridge because she bought some of it, but not a cup or dish to eat it off of or a pot to cook it in." My buddies helped so they were all witnesses to nothing being destroyed or messed up in any way."

I had to laugh. It was that or cry when I thought about how that part of my life was over. My marriage was toast. I was simply not going to let Donna treat me that way. When Gary once again suggested I call my daughter, I agreed. First I had him drive me to a drugstore to buy a toothbrush and then to a hotel. I stipulated it NOT be the Marriott. Once I checked in I called my daughter. Gary called one of his fellow officers to pick him up and after we exchanged phone numbers, he left.

"Daddy, why are you in a hotel?" my daughter, June asked immediately. "Did something happen between you and Mom?" I told her I would prefer to talk to her in person if she was available. "Hell yeah, I'm available. I went out to dinner with my friends but I'm always available for you. I'll be there as soon as I can." After I hung up I realized I'd forgot to tell her not to call her mother before we talked, but then decided I did not care if she did.

"What's going on?" June asked as soon as I opened the door to my hotel room. She frowned at my half inebriated state. "You being drunk means Mom did something. I'm guessing whatever she did was both stupid and hurtful. She isn't stupid enough to try to kick you out. You'd have dug your heels in. She left you didn't she? She is off with Aunt Doris." I asked her how she gathered that.

"I drove by the house but did not stop. Aunt Doris's car is in the driveway but over to one side in front of your part of the garage. I could not tell if Mom's car was there." June said. "Oh, shit. Did they go off together to party or, uhhhh or WORSE?" June asked the last part stepping close to see my reaction. I nodded. "Damn!" she exclaimed and grabbed me in a hug and squeezed me as she cried. "I'm so sorry, Daddy."

I could not hold it back and began to sob. Despite my anger and the feeling of hurt my wife had left me, I knew my little girl was on my side. "I loved her but I can't put up with this. Twenty four years down the drain." I lamented.

"Not down the drain. Just a new beginning, Daddy. You have me!" June proclaimed as we hugged. I was happy she did not immediately protest and say I needed to forgive.

Finally I had to ask. "Did you know any of this? Any advanced warning?" She shook her head and then hesitated before continuing.

"Well, I suspected something was up. She and Aunt Doris have been spending a lot of time together. Surely you noticed that." June offered. I agreed. She even stayed over at her sister's house overnight on occasion. The light bulb came on.

June continued, "Well, Doris has been doing a lot of partying. And by that I mean going out to bars, dancing and whatnot. She didn't say it outright but I'm sure she has been sleeping around. She'd see some guy and comment on his butt being cute. That kind of thing. Mom said she sort of wished she could do that. Then she'd quickly add something like, 'but I'm married.' And at times she'd complain that you could make more money. All you had to do was go ask for a raise." June blushed. "I don't like to say it this way, but Mom said several times. If your dad would grow some bigger balls he could go demand to be paid what he is worth. He can't even stand up to his own brother for Christ's sake!"

I shrugged and said we had enough money to live well if Donna would not waste it. "Oh I know. I've watched her waste money. Especially after you would not let me. You gave me an allowance the whole the time I was in school. I mean even after paying all my bills. You told me to consider that my pay for being a student and getting good grades. I had to live within that amount or do without. I think you deliberately limited how much I got so I had to learn to budget." June said. She broke off talking as she looked in the mini bar. "I can't drink that rotgut straight. I need to mix it. Do you want to pay the high cost of this mini-bar or do I walk down and use the soda machine down the hall? I need a drink while you tell me what happened."

The thought made me laugh. Even now she was looking at the economical way. She was my daughter. "For one thing this is not 'rotgut'. It is high dollar single barrel whisky. It cost me over fifty bucks a bottle. But save the walk. We'll spend the money. Half of it is coming out of your mother's share anyway when we settle our property." That statement set June back.

"So this is not something you are willing to forget and forgive? More than an argument about money." June said. I told her it was much more and laid it all out. I gave her a detailed account of my time from when I came home to her showing up including what I observed her mother and aunt do in the lobby of the Marriott.

"A cop sat with you in your car and then drove you here?" she asked, impressed. I nodded.

"He's a nice guy." I said. "Smart. He'll be successful at whatever he does. He gave me some advice. Like not go home and burn the place to the ground or throw all your mother's crap out on the front lawn for the neighbors to see."

"Although I am not about to hide a bit of any of this from anybody. She made her decision. I made mine. As far as I am concerned, I'll let everybody know what a cheating bitch she is. She might even like the advertisement she's on the menu and available. She might be deluded enough to think she can trade up like she said. Or maybe she is trying to push some agenda to get me to accept her new decision to do what she wants. By that I mean she has to know she cannot share the same guy with her sister. Not in the long run. That whole idea is just stupid. It was her spouting off."

"You sat and thought all this out while sitting in your car and drinking?" June asked, slightly amused.

"I'm not as stupid as everybody thinks." I said. "I can think through a situation. You mother did not just suddenly get hit by some impulse to be a slut. She and your aunt have been planning this. This has to have been brewing for some time." June nodded as she listened. "What bothered me earlier was how much she might have told you. And if you on board."

That got a reaction. June stared at me, her mouth open. That turned to a glare and then softened.Tears formed. "You can't believe I would be part of any plan to screw you over, Daddy!" I shook my head. I knew for sure she had no inkling of her mother's intentions.

"I just had all kinds of thoughts tonight as I sat drinking. How it came about, what really happened, who knew." I said. "My thoughts were all over the map."

"Well, I can tell you this." June declared. "She might be my mother, but that is not going to stop me from telling her what a dumb bitch I think she is." She asked me what I planned to do now in the short term.

I told her what Gary had said about how he handled his girlfriend's cheating. "He is not an expert but I have to applaud how he handled the situation." I said. "He was decisive, and handled it directly but kept his cool. I hope to be as cool. But I can tell you this, there is no way back. I'm just not wired to forgive this. This is not some one time drunk mistake that can be smoothed over with counseling. This was a deliberate decision to destroy me. To rub my nose in it. Your mother might try to tell me it was just sex even. Or she was just trying to get my attention."

"Well, she messed up if she did." June said. "You were always tough on me. Not that I couldn't get a lot of stuff out of you. But I could tell when I pushed the line. Your lower lip got this little quiver when you got mad. And you kind of pulled your shoulders back when your decision was final. I knew then it was game over."

"I guess this is not the time to discuss you helping me convince Uncle Bob to give me a job at Esync?" June asked with a grin. I knew she'd been applying around and had a few offers but all of them were out state. "Now I gotta stay close to home to support you." I laughed but felt immensely better about things.

I wanted her to be her own person and do what was best for her so I never pushed her to work for Bob and me. Of course I'd love to have her come to work for the family business. Now was not the time for the big reveal. "We'll work that out, honey." was all I said.

June and I sat and talked for a few hours. She was too drunk to drive after a few drinks so we sent down to the lobby for a complimentary toothbrush. She slept in the other queen sized bed. I heard her get up a couple times to go to the bathroom.

I woke to sounds of the shower running. June emerged fully dressed, her hair damp. "I gotta go home to change clothes, then I'm going to the house. You take a shower, check out and meet me there. We need to get started on handling things." she ordered.

"No breakfast, first, boss?" I asked. She grinned at my sarcasm and sternly told me to get my butt up, showered and home to change as well and then we'd talk about breakfast. I really did not want to go home by myself. I figured I might just change my mind and dump some of Donna's crap into the front yard as a public statement and let her move it back on her own.

I took my time and two hours later I drove up to my house to find June's car parked in the driveway. A pickup truck I'd never seen before sat in the street. I walked inside to find June drinking coffee with Gary, the officer from the night before. "You told me how Gary, uhh, Officer Jensen was helpful. So I copied his phone number down and gave him a call this morning." June offered as explanation.

"This won't get you into trouble?" I asked the young man. He shrugged and told me he was off duty and this was his day off. He was pretty sure his captain would be on board and if not, he was thinking about a career change anyway. I went to change clothes.

"Gary, can I get that car that is blocking MY access to MY garage towed away?" I asked. He grinned and told me it was my house so I called a tow company and had the car removed. The person who left it blocking my garage would have to pay for the tow and forty bucks a day impound fee when it was claimed.

June had called a local storage firm that offered inside climate controlled storage to reserve a place. It was not long before most my clothing, and all of the personal possessions I did not want to risk were safely locked away. I even took a bundle of bedding, towels and the guest room bed and dresser along with my recliner and the big screen television. I took the everyday dishes but left Donna her good china. I made a point to clean out the liquor cabinet. Petty but I was not going to leave any of it.

We still had time to spare. "Daddy, you need to you authorize a few things I did for you. Like moving half your money. I used my savings account. You can do all that online you know so I just acted as you. I called your investment broker this morning to tell him you are in the process of a messy divorce and asked if you needed to go in person or if he could lock up your account. He said it happened all the time and he could do that. Locking it up is easy. To unlock it takes both you and Mom together or a court order. Is that okay?" I nodded. She grinned. "Good because that's what I did. I also cancelled your credit cards. I reported them stolen but I paid off the balance first from your bank account before I did. All your details were on your desk.I know you know better than to leave your book of PINs and passwords laying around." I asked what I was going to do for money. "Well, I left enough money for you to make an ATM withdrawal for cash for four hundred. Plus remember the credit card you gave me for emergencies only while I was in school? Well, you can use it. You and I are on that account."

"Damn! You are on top of things. Do you have it in for your mother?" Gary asked.

I thought the man was going to be burned to a crisp with the look June shot him. "No. My Mom screwed my Dad over so she could go slut around. If the situation was reversed and my Dad had been the one to go off the reservation, I'd have done the same sort of things to help my Mom. I'm trying to be fair. I'm just going to prevent her from screwing him over when she thinks about it. I have no doubt Mom will be trying to pull cash out. I know my aunt. She will be egging my Mom on. And once they realize Dad is not going to bend over for them, they will act, HARD."

Before we left the house my phone rang. It was Donna. "Why the Hell is my credit card not working?" she demanded to know. "They said it was reported stolen. You asshole. You are butt hurt I found a real man and your little boy ego can't take it. Well, I am standing in front of an ATM machine and I will be hitting every one I can on my way to the bank to get every nickel I can before they close. You aren't going to stop me from having a good time this weekend." I knew she could only get about two thousand. The rest June had transferred. She'd have enough money to get by for a few weeks if she didn't waste it all partying tonight. I was willing to bet she'd be the one paying for everyone's good time.

"You made your decision, Donna. I made mine." I said quietly. "I am separating our lives every way I can until I talk to a lawyer Monday morning. We are finished." I hung up before she could reply.

June and Gary had heard the conversation. "I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat." I knew I could not find an apartment and did not care to stay in a hotel the rest of the weekend. I called my brother and asked if he could put me up for the weekend.

"What the fuck did you do?" Bob asked. I told him nothing at all. "Don't tell me Donna went all brain dead and left your sorry ass or kicked you out for no reason." I told him it was worse than that. "Well, the guest room is made up. Bring your butt over here unless you need me to come get you. By the way, I hope you grabbed up all the bottles of that single barrel whisky. Don't leave any around for Donna to pour out." I told him every bottle was secured or accounted for. I'd already processed one through my liver and kidneys. "Well, don't waste any more of it before you get here. I want you sober enough to explain what happened before you get shit-faced." I told him I was taking June out to eat and would be over in a few hours.