All Comments on 'My Girls and I Ch. 01'

Like the slow build up please do more 4 stars.

Would love to see a chapter. 2

Good story so far there are a few spelling mistakes but it really good I hope you continue

I don't want to wait for the next one, keep up the good work

Please do continue! Your characters take on a life of their own each with their with different personalities. Can not wait for the next installment as the the whole family gets involved. 5*s !

This is how erotica should be done. An actual story, complete with plot, character bud, tension and conflict, and some wicked hot monkey sex interwoven. You write the sex into the story, not the story into the sex. My only hope, other than you continuing, is some girl on girl. 5*

Jedd

Amazing start!

Loving Hannah already - keep it coming.

Next

Keep going. Can't wait. :-)

Good character build up, please continue.

Very good start. But a little bit longer chapter would be good

I would say you are very talented, a very engrossing story. I was hooked early on and so hope you continue.

Really good work, looking forward to see where you take the story!

Great start - couple minor missed edits, but the reunion brought tears to my eyes. I've been in that same place (other than having sex with my sister). I think the blowjob happened too fast in your plot, but the story overall was sound. 5*

Very nicely written, good character development for lead in to what could go further.

I like the way you started off warning us of the slow intro into the story. Coming home from the service I remember the same emotions. Very well written and just waiting on another chapter...

I hope you continue to submit your work. Great start!

Fantastic start to what I hope will be lots of sexy fun with this family.

Good start. I'm looking forward to seeing more is this story.

Please do another chapter I am so hooked on this and I love slow burns!

A Marine is NEVER caught in public in his utilities (Not fatigues) That is the Army. A Marine is always properly dressed for being in public. From the Marine Corps Uniform Regulations, Chapter 2: 2. The MCCUU is a working uniform and not appropriate for wear in a civilian environment. Wear of the MCCUU is authorized while commuting to and from work via privately owned vehicles. However, en-route stops while off-base

are not authorized except for bonafide emergencies, such as medical

emergencies, vehicle breakdown, or vehicle accidents. Marines and Sailors

may only wear the MCCUU at off base establishments when using drive-thru

services such as ATMs, fast food restaurants, or dry cleaners when they do

not exit the vehicle.

Secondarily, a Marine separated from the service would NOT be in uniform unless involved in some official function at which a uniform would be authorized for retired or prior service personnel.

Also, a charge of attempted rape would NEVER be addressed so cavalierly by an NJP (Non-Judicial Punishment) procedure. I've known some officers that were not all that bright, but have yet to meet one who would believe a single female and a single male would attack and assault four male Marines for no reason. Let alone the idea of a Gunny striking a lower ranking Marine. (Or them striking him!) You are talking serious brig time for that, not just loss of grade. There is no way that can be covered by an NJP.

Six years and only home for his father's funeral? With thirty days leave/year, plus pre-deployment leave, you expect us to believe he never went home to see his mother, with whom he has a loving relationship? Marine deployments are only for seven months, with the exception of deployment in friendly/allied countries. There is no reason he should not have been home more often than that.

Sorry. I tried, but you lost me.

Good work keep it going

Good job thanks for it

Keep it going.

As it's erotic fiction not military macho bullshit, ignore pedantic, anal, action-man wannabes who want to pick fault over details most of us don't give a fuck about.

You're doing good.

Try not to listen too hard for SonofCallicious. He may be factually correct (I'm not sure never been a marine) but this is YOUR world and YOUR story. Your MC can do anything and everything he wants be it right or wrong. Most of us on Lit like to read to escape the real world. I enjoy being transported to other people's worlds and I'm betting most others here do as well. It doesn't matter much to most of us if he may or may not have worn his uniform correctly or not and what happened when he got into a fight defending his fellow marine from rape. Granted I automatically assume one of the involved parties has a high-ranking father in the military for an attempted rape, reported and then confirmed by a gunny, to be swept under the rug. But hey that's just e and my assumptions. Write this story how you want. So far what I have read is great and looking forward to more chapters.

I meant to hit five stars! Keep it coming!

Well just finished Chapter #1 of your story and I'm impressed. Will be reading chapter#2 but I'm wondering why only 2 chapters. I would assume others have liked your story. So if you got it in you continue on. Maybe he can add from outside, Aunts,Cousins, or good friends of sisters and Mom.

Great story, I was thinking it would be his mom, his youngest sister is really good .

This is off to a good start! You do need to proofread it to clean up some pronoun, syntax to clean up a well written first chapter. I'm off to the next chapter now and hope that will enjoy writing and sharing more. Thanks