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Click hereI had it all given to her.
***
Spooning my sister, she huddled against me and I softly caressed her side and kissed her shoulder, "Sara, I love you. I love you since ever from the bottom of my heart."
She turned around and kissed me in a sensual and passionate way I have never ever experienced, "I love you, too, with every beat of my heart."
There I was, in bed with her after we had sex together for the first time.
The woman I confessed my love to.
The woman who confessed her love to me.
Sara. My sister. My guardian angel.
THE END
- COMMENTS
ExHoustonRNover 1 year agoCute story, but you are in serious need of editorial help. Too many grammar and word selection errors; it became distracting. Keep writing, just focus a bit more of the technical side of writing.
Anonymousabout 3 years agoI guess English is not your first language; if that is the case then well done, but can I suggest you get any further stories you write in English proof read? There were numerous, irritating little errors that distracted from the story's flow.
Otherwise I liked it
Anonymousover 3 years agoIt even overcame 'sticked' when you meant 'stuck' for 5 stars. No mean feat! Glad I got a chance to come back and read it.
More please, keep writing!
Fortheseover 3 years agoIndeed a beautiful story! This has been the easy part, to fall in love, confess love, making love. The, hopefully, next part will be to make it work. Many authors here would stop now. Or drift into a kind of Fantasy World.
So, I hope, you keep writing, now about turning a touching romance into a life.
Jacktacularover 3 years agoNice and touching story (which I personally hope you continue as a series) , my only comment would be ‘don’t be afraid to work with an editor’ having a second opinion before publishing is always good . Again great debut, keep em cuming 🤣
DallasMarc4uover 3 years agoWhat a wonderful and romantic story! I loved your first submission and hope it is one of many!
lovecraft68over 3 years agoIs how its done. This story was sexy, sweet, touching and romantic with an air of believability which is not always easy to accomplish in this Category. I write a lot of Mom/son stuff, but my personal favorite is siblings and with love not just lust.
This was a beautiful piece, well paced, well written, hit all the right spots in the right places and moments.
Congrats on a fantastic debut. I hope you keep writing.
