All Comments on 'My Little Ventrue Ch. 10'

2 great chapters

Hope you haven't got rid of the two ancients too early?

I love the longer sections even if they take more time to produce. Great job!!

Another great chapter Novus! This story keeps getting better and better. Thanks for writing chapter 10 so fast and not leaving us with a cliffhanger. Out of all the stories on this site I have read, Jack stands out as the most unique and well written character. You have made the reader care about the characters and that is awesome. I cant wait to see where you take us!

Love every second of it. You write beautifully. Please keep going!!!

This is a great story! I can't get enough. Very well written to boot!

Real great stuff. Good writing. Really captured the fantasy of being held gently.

I really think that this story, I hope one in a continuing series, when finished could be published and bought in bookstores across the world.

Amazing story, I love these types the most - can really feel the emotions. I've been away from the site for a while but how are your other two stories going if you don't mind me asking? :)

Also; I wish I was Jack. That lucky bastard!

I'm happy you guys like the chapter so much! I wasn't sure if people would enjoy Antoinette's half-dominant half-motherly personality, but it seems like she's the most loved character.

I'm taking a short break before I write up the concluding chapter for the story, but there will be a sequel book in the future too.

Man, this story was good. No, no, like, really good. No, seriously. Really, REALLY fucking good. Came in expect something just fap to, ended up completely enthralled by the storytelling and read everything in less than 24 hours. I mean, jesus, talk about exceeding expectations dude.

Many props to your writing, as well. Even I, who've never played (n)WoD or VTM/VTR, understood pretty much everything without having to resort too much to the wikia. It was written so well that, even for someone like me who has 0 knowledge about the system, was able to understand everything that was important and necessary.

It does make me sad, to be honest, that this story will end next chapter, as you said. I just hope this sequel book is also about Jack/Antoinette. Would love to seem develop as a couple, proper.

Much respect regardless, man. Much respect.

I liked it, but there's too little development for 10 chapters. Jack has barely started adapting to his life as a vampire. His character is by no means different from chapter 1. Only that now he's with Antoinette. I'm actually glad Tony died fast. I didn't want a drawn out battle with crazy ex. I don't know. I feel the signs for a big world and epic story, but not much has happened. For one I didn't expect him to be with Antoinette so quickly. I expected more build up. But I do find her reactions realistic. But for gods sake Jack has to start saying something other than "Wow" soon. I get she found it adorable at the start, but after he says it for the 100th time I can't help but wonder how is their relationship even moving forward. I guess an excuse would be that someone so old has different standards. Once you get used to something you find unusual things interesting.

Also when I started the story I was excited by what Jack was being offered. Like being shown the door to a higher realm. A fantastical realm. But, I never thought I'd ever say this in a million years, the story focused too much on the romance. Romance is good, but it needs to be spiced up with other things like drama, action, tension. For all the times Jack was told nothing good would come his way if he didn't take charge, he was handed quite a lot of things.

All in all, I had high expectations with the start of the story but those expectations were not met. This has been happening for quite a while now with a lot of stories *sigh*.

I love the relationship between these two. I especially love how the Alpha and omega roles are reversed from the usual. It gives the story some extra unique dialogue and perspective that's typically missing from the clichè Alpha male/omega female get up.

I really can't get enough of this story…I've been reading for hours and totally forgot to eat or drink anything…seriously, help! 😅

Your story is freaking awesome

Brilliant writing.

Very rarely are powerful women written so well - particularly in

an erotic context. There’s either a reversal of fortune and the woman ends up submissive in bed, or it’s intense BDSM style stuff. This is an impressive exception. Antoinette is powerful, sexy and knows it, and she isn’t reduced to ‘but now I must surrender control’. Refreshing and well accomplished!

I rote in a comment on a previous chapter I was loving the relationship between beatrice and julias and hoped the you'd give Jack a sweet loving woman as well. I had a feeling it would be Annie but wow.. this just exceeded my expectations. So lovely and sensual and powerful. I do hope Jack starts playing a bit more of a traditional male lover role with her over time, with him taking some initiative.

"You set fire to the mill."

"... yes." He looked down at his bloodied body. There were still massive gashes down his flesh, but those would heal while he slept come sunrise.

"To save yourself?"

The boy turned his gaze to the side for a moment. "I... yes, but...." And then, he looked up to her, and a smile graced his lips. "Not just for me. Um... he wanted to hurt you, you know? Both of them did." He touched the huge cut along his chest that had split open his suit. "... I didn't want you hurt."

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I'd say! He mainly did it for her. I mean he "knew he was dead either way".

And then:

(I am the old reader guy)

"Be nice to her, she is more fragile than you think" - Sherrif

I already thought about this request before but the more I read the less I want it... and instead the more I need it. NEED!!! - I am talking about a Sequel!

I want a romance between the Sheriff and a

- girl that can make even him "emotional" or "shocked" or "unbalanced"

(fit would maybe a woman from an opposing force... Someone with mirth, a tease.

Or someone he is supposed to bodyguard - maybe not the "pampered selfish princess please)

And another romance between the stuttering nervous right hand of the triumvirate Mkhet woman who's name I forgot and someone else... Not sure if a stronger or weaker person fits better.

In the meantime I even started to wish for one for Jacob... Maybe he could be the guy for her?

The epic love stories have nothing to reveal; their truth is apparent from the beginning.

You have turned an inherently bloody, gruesome & violent world into one of love and tenderness between the most unlikely characters. Take pride in what you have created...

BTW, a pallet made of wood is a 'wooden pallet', rather than a 'wood pallet'. (It's as difficult to turn off habits instilled, by 30+ years of writing and editing, as it is to kill the Prince's Little Ventrue.)

Thanks for sharing your imagination & creativity, and especially, thanks for all the work it takes to put together a Lit submission.

Regards,

GeoD

Thanks for the compliment. Truly.

And thanks for the typo correction. I do all my own editing, which makes it painfully easy to miss things. :(

God this is amazing. I love the relationship Jack and Antoinette have and the way you write erotic scenes is phenomenal. Thank you for blessing us with your talent.

Brilliant shit. Apologies for my lack of eloquency.

Yeah everything is worth it for this moment.