All Comments on 'My Little Ventrue Pt. 02 Ch. 11'

OMG that was amazing!!!

Good god, that was epic as fuck. Jacks the chosen one! Love it when the underdog is the hero. Cant wait to read everyone's reactions to jacks show of courage of power. And not even a year embraced tss. P.S I hope sometime u shed some more light on the ordo dracul. Anyway this was good shit.

Loved it and keep it up!

Just one nagging little thing... since Jack's supposed to be the protagonist I'm bummed out that sometimes he seems to have a minor role instead of a major one. But all in all great work on building the world of the requiem.

Please keep it going, I'm really enjoying the characters and intrigue. You had me worried with this chapter!

Absolutely masterful, can't believe I'm going to have to wait until you post the next chapter again!! Gahhhh I'm getting withdrawal symptoms already!!

Outstanding universe. Outstanding characters. Outstanding action. And Erotic!

Excellent !

tx cracker

I wholeheartedly believe you should send this after you complete part 2 too a few book publishers and see if you can make it into the mainstream media.

There were a lot of errors, but this story is so good that I had to keep reading. Thank you for sharing your enormous talent.

Love the support.

Two things I agree with from the comments:

1) I definitely should have spent more time on Jack, instead of spreading the focus around 6 characters. But honestly, when I planned out this story (I h;ad both books semi-planned before I started writing them), I didn't know Jack would be so loved. I should have adjusted the story to double down on the main character POV sections.

2) I do need an editor. :(

I just binge read the last 3 and this one to catch up and I'm pulling out my hair I want more. Great lead to the next chapter. wow.

I first started reading this because of chapter 3/4 because I thought that it was really hot. Antoinette's slow seduction of Jack was both erotic and, because of Jack's innocence, cute. Watching them fall in love felt good. I'd love to see more erotic scenes with them. Maybe even just an "innocent" one like if Antoinette cleaned Jack's ears or gave him a massage. Maybe Jack even asks Antoinette to use her Daeva abilities on him.

Anyways.

I kept reading because the storyline was engrossing. I especially liked how the factory fire was written. Jack didn't suddenly become the best vampire ever, he remained very weak, and survived because of a combination of being young(less weakness to fire) and having a lighter.

I look forward to future installments.

Kept waiting for the 2 rescuers

Don't know how you resisted involving them

Great work

djb

Novus, i mean this with the greatest admiration "you are a cruel cliffhanger writing bastard." I also agree you should have spent some more time writing Jack's POV. Though i think you should have known in hindsight Jack would become loved for two main reasons.

First now if i may present the observation isn't it typical for the poor bastard who gets dropped in a previously unknown world to become a hero of that world?

Second while i could list the reasons you should have probably known Jack would become as much as a beloved character as he is but i'll mention my favorite one. In this last battle you had Jack pull off an act of pure will that would probably make the character Ichigo Kurosaki from bleach envious

Jack could use some sort of romantic complication to his life. Maybe he could save some pretty girl police officer or someone with military training by turning her into a ghoul. Or maybe even he could wake up from topor a little earlier than Antoniette and find himself between Antoniette's ghouls.

So happy to have finally seen Annie, Daniel, and Jack FINALLY show their badassdom. The action and well played suspense actually got me a bit of adrenaline and excitement going. Well written violence with just the right amount of graphic description without going overboard…-drools-🤤

There was a point in my life where I waited 3yrs for an author to finish their story on fictionpress, 2yrs to find the perfect pair of boots and I'm still waiting to find the perfect bomber style, faux fur lined, water proof coat; I excel at long term standby if the reward is worth it.

However, waiting for this story to finish is going to be total agony. I look forward to every agonising moment because I have no doubt the reward will be worth it!

I am so disappointed. The ancient badass vampires plans like stoned teenagers and the mc suddenly does something that should be impossible to turn it around? Fuck.. the sex is still hot as hell though 😂

not impossible. 1 his ability to dominate minds has been talked about before. and 2 any object or mind is only as strong as its weakest point. if you use a cracked sword you have to worry about it breaking. if you have a fractured mind you have to worry about being broken.

but I'm annoyed that Beatrice, once again, prevented Julius (sorry, can't remember if that's the correct spelling) from protecting his childe! I find that really infuriating. If Julius wants to risk his life to save someone he loves, that's his right! Her choices are: go with him or leave him. It seems like it was because of her they arrived so late to the fight. I really like her and Julius, but her using her strength to control him really annoys me!

Love the story, hate the character, but that's kinda what happens in great stories. She's just a lousy person and a worse girlfriend. Rip Julia's, forever a simp hahahaha. Still a great read though

That chapter definitely upped the tempo a tad!

You drag out every action. Force the story to take so much longer to tell than it should. Very irritating. Even opening a door is 2 and half paragraphs. You have the makings of very great story. It needed condensing through a lot of it.

You have renamed Rebecca to Jessica. More than once

Yes! Completely awesome. The outcome was uncertain until the very last. Perfect!

Fuck the haters, this story is great and the pacing is good. Some people have no sense for nuance or detail.

You know, it’s taken me this longer for me to warm up to Jack. I was not a fan at all of him but the end of this chapter has completely changed my mind about him and I’m so excited to see how his “no fucks given” attitude towards what is possible for him to do takes him next!