All Comments on 'My Little Ventrue Pt. 03 Ch. 10'

Rising rivalries, deepening intrige, mysterious Ordo Dracul dabbling. And..

"D-Daniel is... yes, he is... trench coat man,"

Hell yeah. White Wolf's favourite character archetype - (Film TV spot voice) - Tonight Daniel is ...Trenchcoat McNinjasword!

There can be only one NovusAnimus..

5*

I was so into the story I was almost devastated when I finished it I just want more! Please submit again soon

Reading through a chapter and there's a bit of a kerfuffle between a Spider Queen Goddess Thing and a partial Werewolf Pack in the middle. Then I get to the end of the chapter and the cliffhanger is boobs. Well played... Zigged when I was a expecting a zag.

Well done, Sir. Fantastic characters.

The queen, the super old , super powerful , master tactician vampire gets caught with her fucking pants down by an outsider who hasn't been in the city for decades ?

Jesus fucking Christ. We are approaching vampire diaries level of shit writing.

Please , my dude , put some thought into hyping up your antagonists. Cringe ending.

1*

Just enjoy the humor of it. It always keeps you on your toes. The point is that shit is about to hit the fan so small bouts of situational humor are meant to lighten the mood. Second is that no one being is omnipotent and once enraptured by the presence of your lover, the outside world can fuck off. Until someone with the subtly of an avalanche comes bursting into your room.

It's about the inconsistency though .... You present the "dance" as this complicated political situation where everyone is plotting against everyone else and there are shifting alliances , back stabbings etc. In such a situation , for a prince to exist and thrive , she must be smart. Incredibly so. Anything else would be an insult to the story and to the readers. It was a little cringe when the sheriff was cut off so easily from the prince when Lucas came calling. A character like the prince should have already made arrangements for such a situation , even making plans to neutralise or at least contain her friend if he turned against her but , nothing ; however , I looked past that as it was so well written.

But this is pushing it far too much. If we agree that the prince was caught off guard by Lucas , which again, is unbelievable , as she was aware he was back , knew what he was capable of and would have prepared for his attack , even so , looking past that by assuming she didn't have time, it's impossible to believe that she wouldn't have tightened security after she and her lover came that close to death, and her close confidante was neutralised so easily. She would have beefed up security , made sure that she wasn't *that* vulnerable when it comes to the sheriff and his childe, and in no way in hell would be caught off guard by the wolf like this , especially since she knew that the wolves and the monsters are running wild in her city. One doesn't rule for long by being that dumb.

My problem is that novus has introduced characters that are too fucking op and is digging himself into a hole just to come up with little cliffhangers. This is the shit that vampire diaries often did. Just cringy teenaged romance shit. Plot is sacrificed for *OMG* moments.

Your feedback, despite some holes and despite its crudeness, is appreciated.

I would love to see you point out the "holes" in my argument. And I wasn't being crude , just honest.

Anyhow @Anonymous 02/25/19

As someone who is often quite critical in much the same way you are of anything that jumps out at me in stories like this I don't think I can really agree with you on this point. The Lucas situation I believe was adequately explained by him being so much of a fanatic that he went against the natural Kindred way of self preservation and engaged in a suicidal attack on her tower something so out of the ordinary Antoinette herself made a note to not overlook the possibility in the future. That situation didn't seem entirely improbable to me.

Now with the current situation, As embarrassing as it may be to be caught while about to get it on, I don't believe she is any real danger as they could always say just jump out the window and make an escape if need be. So while Avery's appearance may be a surprise I don't think it counts as her being caught unaware or trapped in a bad enough situation to warrant questioning her ability to survive and dominate the city as long as she has. Also, we also don't currently know what secret mission Daniel is on. He could have been tasked with tracking either the pack's or Azamel's movements. For all we know Daniel is looking on ready to burst in at a moment's notice should anything arise.

Every now and again you pull a beautiful twist in this yarn you are weaving. I really enjoyed the passage from Jacob when he philosophized while hanging from the post. That was awesome. I love how vividly and strongly you delineate your characters. For instance, avery’s I don’t give a fuck you are the prince, I’m gonna tell you, “Nice rack.” Awesome.

Fucking Christ man. Got fight seen going down and all you can do is fill it with memories and flashbacks. We don’t need that. If anyone is reading this part of the story they have read the rest before this. That is the worst. Something good happening and writer wants to stop every other sentence and talk about earlier stuff.