All Comments on 'My New Landlady'

this must have more chapters!!

Chapter Two is with the moderator. Chapter three is still in my head. I appreciate your comment.

Regards,

Jack

This story needs a lot more chapters, great beginning with very interesting characters .

The use of that juvenile term clashed very much with the classier, more mature tone of the rest of the piece.

Dont try so hard. Dont write up, it reads forced.

Excellent story line.... but reads like it was computer-generated... Verbiage doesn't resemble how anyone would speak in real life..!! I started reading and had to quickly browse the rest and then stop.

It had the potential for a 5* but quickly lost my attention

2*

You don't beat around the bush, oh wait you are both shaved. As I read your story it has a hard abrupt style, relax. I like the theme and potential for an all out sexethon, I have four do I hear five, five, I have five, looking for sex

More synonyms and a slower pace.

No one speaks like that. Using boobies makes it sound like a ten year old wrote this.

Get some editing help.

It's an enjoyable narrative, but at times seemed a bit stilted. I gave up on understanding the details of clearances, auction practices, and pence. We don't seem as engaged in "clearances" in the Americas. But I enjoyed the story, saw relatively few grammatical errors, and found Dr. May quite a stimulating character. Maybe her girlfriends will be arousing, too, but we won't know unless you add some chapters!

I agree with the "slow down" comment. You are on to something with the idea for this story and it has the potential to go on for many more chapters, Even longer ones than 2 pages. Keep up the good work.

GREAT BEGINNING, BUT TO START SO GOOD YOU LEAVE A PERSON LET DOWN AS MUCH AS YEARNING FOR CONTINUATION. GET BUSY ON THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS IF YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN THEY ARE IN PRINT. CAPTIANRB@YAHOO.COM

Thanks for sharing.

IT WAS A VERY WELL WRITTEN STORY. I AGREE WITH OTHER COMMENTS. IT IS A GREAT START FOR A LONGER STORY. THANKS, IT WAS EXCEPTIONAL!!!

A young man goes to live with an older female doctor who at first appears to be strait laced but minutes later turns into a raving nympho.

I understand it's a fantasy but maybe it could have been a little more realistic.

Your writing style suggests you are Asian which makes the reading difficult.

I had a very similar experience however mine was with a seamstress. Taking clothes to her for alterations, repair, etc.: she also made a few casual shirts for me. She was never married and no children however was 23 years older. Having inherited money when her parents died she lived a very comfortable life. One day as she was measuring my inseam she noticed I was semi erect. She reached forward and felt me up. We had sex in the heat of the moment and then became weekly lovers. Never moved in with her yet at 68 (I was 45) she was like the energizer bunny. After 9 years she sadly passed away and he brother was quite confused as she had left me her entire estate. I'll never forget the relationship, her passion, skin or eagerness to please. Truly a strange but real love story. As for the age difference, don't knock it as it can work and be a great thing.

I quit calling tits “boobies” around 12 years old. Are you sure you’re old enough to coming to sites like these??

Wow the story is super fast, but it's good.

See Tom rent. Rent Tom! Tom likes boobies. May has big boobies. Look at Tom have sex with the big boobies lady.

If my sarcasm isn't clear, your writing style kept pulling me out of the story. The stilted composition was painful at times, merely jarring at others. It was almost like that scene in the 40 year old virgin where Andy says a woman's breast feels like a bag of sand.

I couldn't finish the story because of all the distractions. The use of "boobies" makes the author sound 12 yrs old. A 50 meter indoor pool? Must be a huge house. The story development made too many sudden leaps. The story is a good first attempt, but get an editor to help you out.

Reads like it was written by someone barely into their teens. Stilted dialogue and childish use of vocabulary; “boobies” ?? really ??

Unless you are indeed a teenager or in Jr high school

How old are you? God almighty sentences no more than ten words, reminds me of primary school, `John is a good boy, he does as he is told`. Wow he likes `boobies`. Can you award half a star? Total rubbish.

In one paragraph, he is Tom, the next paragraph, Paul, the next he's back to Tom. You begin too many sentences in the same paragraph with the same words. There are far too many references to the size of his penis and the size of the women's breast. It's far too obvious that you refuse to proofread your "efforts" but also refuse to seek one or more, with a basic background in English and proven writing experience and skill, to do this as well. As a previous commenter stated, your errors, poor grammar, poor sentence structure, name switching, etc. (I'm paraphrasing), makes reading what you write extremely difficult. Unlike your writings, not every male in England is "hung like a horse" and not every female has huge melons attached to her chest or a clit that looks like a small penis. How many times have the same female characters met a different male and stated he has the largest penis she has ever seen? And how many times have all of your male characters fully inserted his penis in the females anal cavity in a single thrust, virtually no lubrication, with no effort at allowing for the female to become adjusted to the size? And, how many of the female characters swallowed the biggest penis they.ve ever seen in a single effort? Wake up and think about what you are writing and think about the logic involved. If you intend to submit your efforts for others to read, you cannot type it in a computer, look at it as you type and say, that's good enough, or conclude it's even better. After writing, save it, wait several days or more, allow the efforts to fade from memory, THEN go back and SLOWLY read what you have written, think you are reading another's work and ask yourself, does this measure-up to what "authors" on this site produce (there are a number of excellent examples), is this something of which you'd be proud to have your name associated?

Her boobies...*snickers* only teenagers use this kind of language. Infact this feels like its written by a teenager. I can't take it seriously.

I take it English isn't your first language.

Have to agree with all the other comments about starting sentences with the same words. Very off putting.

good story you should have continued on makes good reading and i get a little horny from it

Love the story. AAAAAA++++++

Couldn't finish reading it. Hate to tell you but you can't reach a woman's g-spot through her butt. Maybe somewhere in the story Tom finds out May wasn't born a woman, or you're just a child that's failing English class, knows nothing about anatomy and shouldn't be on this site. I couldn't finish reading it so I'll never know.

Didn't finish it. Too awkward, stilted narration, inane conversation. Just too poorly written. And "boobies"..??? What are you 10 years old? This is stupid.