My New Life

I felt desperately guilty that I'd made this sweet man feel responsible for me running away when it was entirely my own fault but I just couldn't bring myself to respond so I continued to lie there, as silent and still as a statue.

'I'm so sorry Jayne, you must really hate me. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable with me being around so I will move on tomorrow afternoon and you won't hear from me again.'

I didn't get out of bed all day, I just lay there crying over my lost opportunity and my wickedness in forcing a perfectly decent man to leave on my account. I was starting to calm down a little by early evening and as the fading sun strained through the curtains, for the first time I allowed my fingers to touch my unused pussy and think of what might have been. They could have been his fingers exploring my body, I could have finally opened my legs for a man and felt Scott's manhood taking me. I realised that I had blown my chance with Scott but I could make things right and at least apologise for my disgraceful behaviour.

Before my resolve could wane, I quickly got dressed and headed over to Scott's boat. He didn't see me coming as he was too busy making preparations for tomorrow's departure so he jumped slightly when I spoke.

'Excuse me Scott,' I said timidly.

'I'm sorry Jayne, I didn't see you there. I'm pleased you came around as I wanted to apologise to you personally for anything I may have done or said last night that was inappropriate.'

'No Scott, you have nothing to apologise for at all. I don't want you to leave as you did nothing wrong at all.' I hesitated for a moment as I gathered my resolve, 'It's me who should apologise to you.'

'You?' he exclaimed, 'What do you have to apologise for?'

'Everything!' I replied. 'I may have ruined everything but you at least deserve a proper explanation so could you come over to mine tomorrow evening and I promise I'll explain everything?'

'Yes, of course,' he assured me, 'if that's what you're sure you want.'

With that arranged, I wandered slowly home with a million thoughts going through my head. I couldn't see how Scott could forgive me but if he was going to leave anyway, what did I have to lose if I at least tried to salvage the situation. I knew he wanted female companionship and I now also knew that he was interested in me. Perhaps it would never be a 'relationship' and might only be sex but I did want to experience sex and after the way I'd treated him, didn't he deserve something off me by way of a proper apology. OK, giving him my virginity was a big apology but it wasn't like he was the only person getting something if this worked out. Having said that, I equally knew that I would have next to no chance with Scott if I didn't at least make some effort so I resolved that the next day I would catch the train into Norwich and visited my favourite store: Debenhams.

I wasn't exactly sure of what I wanted but I knew I had to wear something that would make the most of my assets without being too obvious. I bought a variety of clothing and for this special night I elected a low cut and tight fitting halter top with a skirt that was quite tight fitting around my bum before flowing out to just above the knee to retain an element of respectability. Make-up was a more difficult issue as I'd never really bothered with it too much before but Debenhams always has these concession stands for make-up with beautiful assistants who can demonstrate products for you. I wasn't entirely sure how these things worked as I'd never used them but I reasoned that a little bribery would probably get the results I wanted.

'Can I help you Madam?' asked the assistant after I'd been gazing at the variety of products for a minute or two.

'I hope so, yes,' I replied tentatively, 'but I'm not exactly sure what I need as I've not worn much make-up before.'

'A special occasion?' she enquired with a friendly and knowing smile.

'Well, I hope so' was my cryptic reply. 'If I tell you what I'm after, could you teach me how to do it and I'll buy whatever you suggest?'

'I think we could do that, no problem,' she said with more confidence than I felt. 'Take a seat here and tell me what you're looking for?'

'I know I'm not pretty in any way but could you do something to make me look a little better without it being obvious that I'm wearing make-up?'

She took a moment to look carefully at my face from different angles and inspected my skin and hair. The serious look on her face made me fear that she would conclude I was beyond help so her eventual response surprised me.

'Yes, I can do that easily. You're too hard on yourself as you actually have very good skin and features that you can certainly do more with. When I'm finished, I think you'll find you're far more beautiful than you think.'

It seemed like a sales pitch to me but she worked away, giving me careful instructions at every stage and when I finally saw myself in the mirror, I confess I was surprised by the results. At my age I was never going to be a model but I also didn't look anything like a 'plain Jane' and I also looked younger than my actual physical age. It was such a profound transformation that I almost cried.

'Whoever he is, he's going to be a very lucky man,' the assistant remarked with a grin like the Cheshire cat.

'I think I'd be the lucky one,' I sighed, 'but thanks for the support. You've done a fantastic job and it's exactly what I wanted.'

My final port of call was Bravissimo for some new underwear. I seriously doubted that our evening would get this far but just in case, I didn't want to be caught in a Bridget Jones moment with my 'big pants' on. Bravissimo are superb at doing lingerie for the slightly curvier woman with big boobs and nothing makes you feel more feminine than beautiful underwear.

I returned to my boat feeling pretty pleased with my day. I realised that the chances of any of my fantasy coming true were remote to say the least after the way I'd behaved but I consoled myself with the fact that I'd enjoyed my day and I was at least enjoying the change from my normal routine. For a long time now I'd stopped even trying to find a partner, resigned to the fact that I would never really know a man so in a way it felt good to even have that hope again. The fact that it would probably come to nothing seemed almost secondary.

I felt good in my new clothes and after a quick touch-up to my make-up, I was able to look in the mirror with some sense of satisfaction. Now all I had to do was come clean to Scott and hope the situation could be salvaged. As soon as I heard Scott outside I called him in and stood to greet him in the lighting that I'd made soft and romantic for the occasion. As soon as he saw me, it was as if his jaw had hit the floor.

'Wow! You look absolutely gorgeous Jayne.'

I was about to thank him for the compliment when he suddenly remembered the previous night.

'Oh God, I'm so sorry Jayne, I didn't mean that in an inappropriate way, it's just that I've never seen you dressed like this and you look so beautiful.'

I smiled to reassure him.

'It's fine Scott and thank you very much for noticing, now please sit down as I think I have quite a bit of explaining to do and I'd like to get started before I lose my nerve. There's a glass of wine there waiting for you.'

He sat down, looking a little confused and I sat next to him, taking a large gulp of wine to give me courage.

'Last night wasn't your fault Scott,' I started.

'But...' he started to protest.

'No Scott, hear me out please,' I insisted. 'Last night you were a perfect gentleman and I really enjoyed everything you were doing but I have a secret I'm quite embarrassed about.

I hesitated as I pondered how to continue. The silence seemed to last an age before Scott eventually encouraged me to go on.

'What is it Jayne? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but I promise you I'll do all I can to help you if necessary.'

He was as sweet as usual and I smiled slightly at his choice of words. Downing the rest of my wine, I ploughed on.

'The thing is Scott, despite my age, I'm actually still a virgin. It's ridiculous I know but I was so focused on my career and as I've never really been anything to look at, the right relationship never really came along and before I knew it, I became nothing but a sad, lonely old woman who had never experienced a man.'

'So why did you stop me last night? Do you want to remain a virgin or were you just not attracted to me?' he responded in an astonished voice.

'Not at all Scott,' I replied quickly, 'I find you very attractive and if any man were to have my virginity, I'd like it to be you but I was so afraid of doing something wrong and you not enjoying it that I panicked and ran away. I'm so sorry Scott and I hope you can forgive me. I don't want you to go away, even if you're no longer interested in me.'

His hand gently touched my face and he smiled.

'You have no need at all to feel guilty Jayne and I find your reaction last night to be both understandable and touching. You're a far sexier woman than I think you realise and I'm certainly still very interested in you.'

I smiled back at him and held his hand on my cheek, kissing his palm.

'That's sweet of you to say so Scott but you don't have to feel sorry for me.'

'It's not a matter of feeling sorry for you,' he replied, 'I genuinely find you extremely attractive and based on how things began last night, I think you wanted something to happen with me.'

I blushed but it was pointless denying the truth of the situation.

'You're right, I did' I confessed. 'Partly because I simply wanted to lose my virginity but also because I really wanted to be with you. As far as sex is concerned, my life has largely passed me by but I want that to change and I want it to change with a man I find special enough to take my virginity. You were that man Scott,' I hesitated for a moment, 'and I'd still like you to be that man if you'd like that and can teach me what to do.'

'Jayne, I would be honoured to do that for you but I don't want it to be a one night stand just so that you can lose your virginity. I want to keep seeing you if you'd like that.'

Specific words weren't needed for my reply, I simply kissed him then stood up and smiled at him before saying, 'I think I'd like to go to bed now Scott' and took him by the hand to lead him into my bedroom.

We stood by the bed and kissed with a magical blend of passion and tenderness. It wasn't rushed because we both realised that this was a special moment and we had all night. His hands moved from my upper back down to my bum, which he fondled and squeezed before settling on my waist. I loved the way he pulled me towards him and I could feel his manhood pressing against my stomach. There was no doubt I needed him but he also wanted and needed me. As we kissed I experienced my first lesson in the art of seduction: don't wear a top that has to come over your head; it's far easier to let something fall to the floor as you kiss and embrace. I was a little upset I hadn't thought of that but this was all new to me and I consoled myself with the knowledge that in the great scheme of things, it made little difference. I was, however, very pleased with the bra I'd bought from Bravissimo for the occasion as it was sexy, low cut and gave me a very impressive cleavage. It certainly wasn't lost on Scott!

'You have absolutely beautiful tits,' he commented, and I could tell from the look in his eyes that this wasn't just the usual complimentary line. His hand immediately cupped my breasts and I moaned softly as he started to play with them. As he did so, one hand slowly unzipped my skirt and it fell to the floor, leaving me in nothing but my underwear. Feeling I should follow his example, I started to unbutton his shirt, kissing his neck and chest as I went. His chest was strong, broad and manly and my heart was racing at the thought of what I was about to do with him. Having removed his shirt, I wasn't sure what I should do after that, though I knew what I wanted to do. It sounds silly but I was so keen for him to enjoy this that I was hesitant at every stage for fear of ruining this longed for experience. Fortunately, Scott proved to be a very considerate lover and sensed my dilemma.

'Why don't you finish the job and take my trousers off?' he asked, but it wasn't a question and was exactly what I wanted to do.

As I unbuttoned his waistband and unzipped him I was aware of his swollen package as my fingers grazed against it. It was tantalising to know that I was so close to my prize and wondered what his penis would be like. His trousers fell to the floor to join my skirt and my breath was already becoming slightly laboured with the excitement that was pounding through my veins. We kissed a little more and as we kissed, he skilfully unclipped my bra. As it fell to the floor, he bent forward and kissed them gently. I yearned for more contact and moved my chest towards him, encouraging him not to stop. As he took a nipple into his mouth and started to suck, a tingle of excitement and anticipation raced through my body. I could feel myself getting wetter for him and my core was on fire. I knew I needed him so badly but I was determined not to rush this.

'Isn't there anything else you want to do Jayne?' he asked, knowing full well I was responding to him in a very powerful way.

'I'd love to see your penis' I replied, unsure what word to use.

'Have you ever seen and felt a man's cock before?' he asked.

'I've only felt a cock once, through some trousers,' I confessed, correcting my language. 'Cock' sounded so much better and far more appropriate to what I needed.

'Kneel down, help yourself and take your time,' he instructed.

Happy to do as I was told, I knelt in front of him and was confronted with an impressively large bulge underneath his skin tight briefs. Even that looked incredible to me and it twitched as I ran my hand over it, feeling the outline of the cock that would finally take my virginity. Slowly I started to pull down his underwear, never once taking my eyes from the glorious sight in front of me. It was immediately obvious that his pubic region was trimmed very short and then his cock started to come into view. It looked thick and powerful and seemed to just keep going as I undressed him. Eventually it sprang out from its confinement to stand strong and proud in front of him. His balls were quite large and tight while his cock was long and thick with strong veins standing out along its length. The head was large and swollen and the whole thing looked to be as hard as a steel pipe. I guessed it was between 7 and 8 inches long and just inches from my face, it looked impossibly big to a woman who had never had a cock inside her before.

'It's incredible!' I gasped, 'You have a really beautiful cock and I'm so pleased you'll be my first.

'Take hold of it,' he demanded, 'and feel what it's like.

Gratefully I wrapped my hand around the shaft and instinctively started to move my hand back and forth along its length while my other hand cupped his balls. His balls were heavy while his cock was smooth and rigid. I could feel it throbbing in my hand, like I was taking his pulse with it and as intimidating as its size was, I longed to feel it inside me.

'Do you think this will feel good in your pussy?' he asked.

Again, his language thrilled me and seemed entirely appropriate. My lover didn't have a 'penis,' he had a magnificent cock and his cock was going to fuck my pussy and finally make me a woman.

'Oh God yes,' I gasped, my pussy now soaked with the need to have him inside me. 'I can't wait for you to fuck me!'

'Not yet my love, you have more to learn yet and by the time we're done, you'll be begging to be fucked.'

His fingers ran through my hair and held my head as he moved his cock forward until it touched my lips.

'I think you'd better start by learning how to suck my cock. Would you like to try?'

Obviously I'd heard of oral sex before but until this moment it sounded quite disgusting. Now that I had a hard cock in front of me, it started to feel perfectly natural. It was beautiful in a way that I guess only a woman in need of a man could understand. I wanted to give him as much pleasure as possible but I also wanted to do this for myself. I kissed the tip tentatively before touching it with my tongue.

'Explore it with your mouth and tongue,' he guided me. 'Start with my balls and work up the shaft until you reach the head and then you can suck it.'

Lifting his cock out of the way, I licked along the underside of his balls and up to the base of his shaft. The deep moans he made confirmed that he was enjoying my efforts and this early success encouraged me in my endeavours. I kissed and licked my way along the length of his shaft, glorying in every centimetre of his hard flesh until finally I reached the large swollen head.

'That's incredible!' he gasped, holding my head tightly and moving his cock towards me. 'Please Jayne, suck my cock, I need you so much!'

For the first time I realised the power I had as a woman and I was tempted to tease him for a bit longer but I was also too eager to have him in my mouth and give him pleasure to delay any longer. I ran my tongue around the head of his cock and then slightly opened my mouth to allow him to push his cock inside. It was an incredible sensation to feel his cock filling my mouth and I sucked on him gratefully. He held my hair firmly and started to slowly thrust in and out of my mouth so that I could feel him reaching the back of my mouth. At first I was worried it would be too much for me and I'd gag but he made sure he only went as deep as I could manage and after that, he left it to me to decide how much of him I could take. I did the best I could but there was no way I could take all of him as he was just too big and the wonderful thickness of his cock meant that my mouth was filled with him. I ran my tongue across the underside of his cock as he fucked my mouth and gloried in the weight of his meat. He tasted so manly and I sucked hard to give him the maximum amount of pleasure. His breath was starting to come in shorter bursts and he was thrusting with more urgency so I concluded I must be doing something right when all of a sudden he withdrew and I was left longing to suck on him some more.

'Have I done something wrong?' I asked, worried I'd made some novice mistake.

'No, not at all,' came his reply, 'quite the contrary; you're the most naturally gifted cock sucker I've ever met and that was incredible but I have to stop now otherwise you'll make me cum. I hope there'll be a time when you let me cum in your mouth but for this first time, I want your first experience of a man cumming inside you to be in your pussy when I take your virginity.'

As disappointed as I was that I couldn't suck his magnificent cock any longer, the thought of having him filling my pussy was totally compelling and I felt soaked for him now.

'Are you going to fuck me now Scott?' I asked hopefully.

'No Jayne, not yet. I have to calm down a bit first and there's more I can do to get you ready for your first cock.'

My mind raced at the thought of what he might have in mind for me but I was more than willing to be guided by him. He helped me to my feet and kissed me passionately before laying me down on the bed. He leaned over me and started to kiss his way down my squirming body and I could feel his cock all the way as it moved over my stomach and down my legs. He past my pussy altogether and then started to kiss and lick his way up the inside of my thighs. The tingling sensation emanating from my pussy now radiated throughout my body and while I wasn't sure exactly what it would be like, I was pretty convinced by this point that I needed his big cock inside me and fucking my desperate pussy. As he moved further up my thighs, my legs opened as if by themselves. I knew he was heading to my wet pussy and I wanted nothing but to make his access as easy as possible.