All Comments on 'My Own Worst Enemy'

Very interesting story!

5

I love the way Sophie's character arc was developed in this story. It's not always the story alone that makes it great, sometimes it's in the telling. This storytelling is as good as you will see on this site and is better than you will get from many big screen romantic comedies. This one had me go from despising Sophie to loving her, which tells me the author knew what they were doing. Thank you for this, PeytonMirabelle, reading this was a great start to my day.

Beautiful

So glad to see you posting again. One of my favorites on the entire site. Haven't read it yet, busy morning, but I will.

Pickings have been slim lately, but then I saw a new story by PM. I was actually put off by the preface, but…hey…it’s a story by PM! I was not disappointed. A very original story line, with a flawed but interesting MC. Thanks to PM for sharing a true gift with us.

I really enjoyed the story. I was able to invest into the characters and feel what they were going through. One of the best on here I have read lately. Thanks for taking the time to write. I made for a good time.

Always a pleasure and this story, particularly so. I would have liked the "rest of the story" as you alluded to her view on children. One more page with where they landed, maybe her coaching her daughter in volleyball and seeing her with the same traits she had as a girl - that sort of thing. 5*

Thank you. It was a great read and you are a wonderful storyteller

Great story!!

That flash forward and the author's foreword made me concerned that it wouldn't be my type of story but jumping to the comments convinced me to try it and I am glad I did.

Sophie's arc as others mentioned and the story in general was great, 5*

Excellent character development. Great read

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

♡ What a sfory! ♡

So well written! Beautiful story - as someone who is competitive, and used to be ruthless, I love how Sophie grew and changed her priorities to what really made her happy. Absolutely 5 stars!

You sir or madam are a genius and you write too close to heart at least mine so i am also scared of you

WONDERFUL STORY!! Fifteen stars is close. Mark knew what love was, but she died. Sophie was too success driven, but learned that life wasn't bright lights and striving only to be the best at anything. They found each other, and can thank little Cammie for it. Hopefully they had unprotected sex and the pills didn't work. She now owes Mark true happiness, being Mrs Mark and the mother of his son or daughter, or twins. Though vows haven't been exchanged, they are "husband&wife" because it feels so right! PLEASE,SOMEONE, WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER TO THIS WONDERFUL STORY!!

I really despised Sophie early on, especially that comment, about how she dressed in revealing clothing at work, because her clients enjoyed looking at her. Really flew in the face of her "I don't sleep my clients and pass them off to coworkers if they make a pass" stuff. Not internally consistent with her own self-described beliefs. The whole "one cock is as good as another" thing also gave her a weird 'skank outside the office' vibe as well, not exactly endearing. Oh well You're still an excellent writer, and though it was difficult to hang with this one, a truly rare outcome, you managed to tie things up nearly at the end.

What a fantastic story. I love that you put what is in the characters mind. I would take an extremely strong person to connect to a person like Sophie and Mark was that man. I love all your stories but this might be the best one yet.

Excellent story, 5 Stars. I loved the character development (as many others have said) and the growth. It was structured and written very well. It says a lot that I wanted more than the 9 pages for this story. I too would have liked a brief epilogue but it takes nothing away from the story. Very well done!

It was well-written, interesting and engaging. Far too sappy and predictable Hallmark for my taste. A woman with her capabilities could do much better than Mark.

I was originally in the I don’t really care for Sophie camp (overly self assured and just not nice are putting it as kindly as I can) but I had faith that Peyton Mirabelle would turn that around based on past stories and that turned out to be the case here. She would still never be someone who would interest me but her rocky relationship path with Mark saw her grow and learn new things about herself and what she wanted before finally accepting that she wanted him. He turned out to be a good foil for her and there was hope in the end. The story itself was very well written, detailed and long enough that Sophie’s transformation was believable, and not so detailed or overly long as to put the reader to sleep. I know that last part since I stayed up until 12:30 AM to finish reading and am typing this the next morning! Great job, 5*

I had me one like that. Well, still do. 40 years now. Even with dementia, she's still a handful. Great story, thanks for sharing.

This is a wonderful 5-star effort. Thanks for taking the time to edit and polish this outstanding work. Well done!

Pathetic story....obsessed overachiever getting involved with the man who got her job....fucking pathetic

Back for a second read, as good or better than the first time, and a favorite this time, too.

Next comes the hard part for them, but I think they’re both in a place where they’re ready to make it work.

Thanks for putting stories out there where the feelings are real and raw, and the flaws and hurt are real and not just window dressing. Stories with actual stakes are the best.

Lovely. Raw, honest and touching. Thank you very much

Couldn't even get past the bit where she didn't resign and move to a better position at another company. If she were so competitive and such a career girl she's have realised that she'd got as far as she could get at that company.

Honestly though, who does that these days? Far too many hedge funds with partnership roles wiling to snap up someone that's meant to be so great. So either she wasn't as good as she claimed or the story is seriously flawed.

To put it into context, being told she wasn't getting the job and corner office is equal to being told that your partner is cheating on you. So who sticks around in either of those situations? No one that has the personality profile of the MC that's who.

Likewise, what company risks losing a consistent high earner that they've already fated for higher positions.

Realism and consistency are essential to suspend disbelief.

I’ve been in Short Story Discussion Groups for over a decade. I often look at the first paragraph as an indicator of the quality of what’s to follow.

*** “As I looked up from my knees, staring into Mark's smirking face, I was suddenly reminded of my mother warning me that my competitive nature was going to get me into trouble someday.

I sighed. I wish I had listened” ***

When I read that, I knew I was in for a treat.

The evolution of Sophie’s awareness and growth over the course of the story was extremely well done. I can only imagine where she will be in 6 months…and in 6 years. While it’s not my story to tell, I like to think it will somehow involve Mark.

Need a sequel. I see issues that could come up and it was a great read would be sad to see these chars just fade away.

Forget any negative comments, this was a well written, more complex story than most posted here. If couch critics could do better we would be reading their story instead of yours. No, it wasn't erotic, but the story line and character identification kept me eager for the next chapter. Not everyone's cup of tea for sure, but I give it five stars.