All Comments on 'My Person Ch. 01'

Looking forward to your next chapter. Hoping for less drama, more just day to day lives story.

Thanks for sharing this story with us. I'm sure it must take a lot of faith in people to take that leap from reading to letting people read what you wrote. First suggestion is finding an editor. They can help you combine sentences to make the story flow more smoothly and be more precise in your writing. (Something for all new authors.) Secondly, I would suggest cutting some extemporaneous information like what the characters ate for breakfast and instead focus on sharing more of the feeling of the characters. Perhaps even trying to "understand" them yourself so you can then pen those emotions back onto the page. Great start.

I enjoyed your writing. You've done an outstanding job. I'll never be able to write that well. It has been awhile since this was written, I hope your not done.

Thanks for this .. I really enjoyed it …

Great story. Impressive first writing. Pushed all the right buttons. ;-p You’ve got a future writing erotica. I look forward to reading your future stories.

I enjoyed the love story. But all the Greek God crap was making me puke. We need more stories featuring everyday average build people.

However, I'm glad that you didn't have Jack arrested for beating up the guys who were raping Katelyn. Using force to defend yourself or another person is justified in nearly all 50 states.

It was really nice but not quite good enough for a four. 3/5

I enjoyed reading this story. Your on your way to contributing to the pleasure of the reader’s that really enjoy the brother/sister kink. :-p” I hope that you will continue writing and then share Chapter Two with your loyal followers!

This has the makings of a great story. Please continue.

More please keep going, such a hot sexy tale of sibling love

I will come back to this story every day. I will wait impatiently for the next chapter.

LOL! I’m actually focusing my attention on writing the sequel to “Break in the Clouds”. It’s called “End of Me”. Maybe when I’m happy where that one ends, I’ll try to hop back to this one.

Can’t wait for more

I liked the smooth beginning and the descriptions. But after the attempted rape at the party, the action developed too quickly, this abrupt transition ruined everything.

Pretty good for a starter. Keep on producing til you reach perfection. Go for it.

Need more asap! This was fantastic!

I know it's been awhile but this is a great start, I hope you come back and continue the story

Very, very enjoyable story.