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Click hereI opened the front door for her as she walked up, she was carrying a lot of bags in her hand, and I also noticed a package at the front door. I walked out to help her grab some of the bags.
"Oh hey, thanks," she said breathing a little heavily from carrying all the bags.
"Yeah of course" I responded. She walked into the house with me close behind.
"Could you grab that package as well for me please?"
"Yeah sure," I grabbed the package while juggling with the bags to make sure nothing fell out.
"Ohhhh my god!" I heard from within the house
I walked inside and set the package and bags on the counter standing behind her. Elena was shocked by everything she was seeing. I hope she liked it.
"This is so romantic, you did all this for me?" She turned around with a smile that touched ear to ear, and with blushing cheeks.
"Yeah, I just wanted to do something nice for you, you know, for all the things you do for me. Not only that but, you have always supported me through thick and thin, especially when dad passed away and... It's the least I can do." I blushed a little and smiled back.
Elena's eyes teared up. "You are the best stepson a mother could ask for." She hugged me hard and I could feel her soft breasts push up against my chest. She smelled like sweet peaches, and her body was so warm against mine that I didn't want her to let go. At first, I didn't hug her back because all I could think about was her body, and me trying to hide my hardon that was quickly growing. But I fought back those thoughts and tried to enjoy the moment. I was happy that she was happy and I hugged her back with all the care in the world.
It felt like we stood there for hours in each other's arms. Before she finally pulled back at arm's length.
"Let me change outta these clothes into something more comfortable before we eat."
"Sure, of course" I responded
Elena grabbed the package and took it to her room. She closed the door behind her.
I sat at the table with the sushi and candles all set up for a romantic dinner evening and waited for Elena to return, basically twiddling my thumbs. She was taking an awfully long time in there, I was beginning to wonder if I scared her off with everything I did, maybe it was too weird for her. I was just about to get up to go knock when Elena opened the door.
She stepped out of her room wearing the sexy royal blue nightgown lingerie that I suggested that she buy the other week. She had blue stockings to match that came up to her mid-thigh. The nightgown was silk with see-through lace cups that were held up by thin spaghetti straps, I could just see the areolas on her breasts and it was entrancing. The bottoms were satin elastic that fell just below her velvet lips and protruding ass cheeks. Her black hair was free-flowing down past her shoulders, and she leaned up against the side of the door biting her lower lip and with lust in her eyes.
"Do you want to eat sushi, or do you want to eat me?" she said with the sexiest seductive voice I had ever heard.
"My mouth was open, and I could hardly breathe, I think my heart skipped a beat because I tried saying something, but only air left my mouth.
"Here let me help you," she moved toward me, her eyes never leaving mine. She pushed me so my back was leaned as far up against the chair as possible, and proceeded to straddle me.
My breathing was in short heavy gasps. I could headly swallow by how sexy Elena looked, and now she was sitting on my lap. My penis grew so hard that it was hurting.
"It seems like someone is happy to see me," she smiled as she leaned in for a kiss.
At first, I didn't kiss back, I was so shocked, but I didn't want to ruin the moment by being scared and instead just let my instinct and body take control. So I returned her kiss with intensity, my tongue finding hers as they wrestled within our mouths. I slid my hands along her thighs, up her smooth silky nightgown to her soft breasts. I cupped them from outside the material feeling the weight and softness. I then pinched both nipples firmly, rubbing them back and forth with my thumbs.
Elena let out a gasp as she leaned her head back. I took this as an invitation to sprinkle her neck with kisses, slowly making my way down to her left spaghetti strap. I used my mouth to grab it and pulled it to the side of her shoulder letting it slip down. My fingers still teasing her hard nipples, I kissed along her neckline to the other side and slid off her other strap, watching her nightgown fall just below her breasts.
My mouth found her left nipple and I softly crushed it between my teeth.
"Ohhhh yes" Elena moaned, "that feels sooo good." She cupped the back of my neck pulling me closer into her breasts. I continued to suckle on each breast as if I were an infant while Elena grinded her ass back and forth on my bulging hardon.
This went on for a couple of minutes before I decided to change things up a bit. I slid my hands under Elena's thighs and lifted her as I did myself from the seat. "Someone knows what he wants," she giggled, as I lifted her. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I carried her to the room, my mouth still fighting hers, and gently lowered her onto the bed.
Elena spread open her legs and started rubbing her clit through her silk bottoms as I quickly stripped myself of my clothes.
I crawled onto the bed right between her legs and started kissing around her lips through the silk. I slowly pulled her bottoms off and dropped them near the bed, and continued to kiss around her pussy. She kept shifting her hips so that I would kiss and suck on her clit. But I continued to circle.
"Please stop teasing me," she moaned "I can't take it anymore" She shifted once more and this time I drove my tongue within her. She was so wet and warm and I continued to lap up her juices as I rubbed her clit with my fingers.
Elena thrust her hips as far forward as she could driving my tongue deeper. Her fingers running through my hair.
"Don't stop, I'm going to cuuuu...mmmm," she quickly screamed. Her hands yanked my hair forcefully as she orgasmed, her juices flowed forth onto my tongue and into my mouth. She tasted so sweet and I didn't want to stop. But Elena tugged my head upward toward her face. She kissed me passionately tasting her juices along my lips as I continued to rub her clit with my thumb while my other two fingers slid smoothly back and forth into her pussy.
Elena moaned louder, at first through my mouth, but after she couldn't handle the pleasure anymore she shot her head back against the pillow as her body shuddered and she came again her insides clutching tightly around my fingers.
I nibbled on her ear lobe as she caressed my back. "I want you inside of me," she whispered, her breathing heavy. I slid my fingers from within her warm pussy and brought it up to her mouth. She sucked on them.
"What do you want?" I whispered back, I took my fingers out of her mouth and started playing with her nipples.
"I want your cock inside of me" She moaned again.
"This cock?" I teased, as I slid it back and forth along her cunt.
"Yeeesss, please" she cried out, "I want your hard cock inside me, I want you to fill me up with your warm cum."
I flipped Elena over onto her stomach with her ass facing me. She laid her head flat against the bed sticking her ass up to me as far as she possibly could. I gripped her hips and pulled myself closer, I reached down and grabbed my member and stroked it along her clit.
"This time say my name, and tell me what you want," I demanded in a soft but serious tone.
"I want you to stick your big hard cock inside of me Liam, I need it now, please Liam, make mommy happy." she purred.
My heart raced, my cock harder than ever, I found her opening and stuck the head of my penis inside, slowly pushing farther within her. It felt so warm, her muscles and juices tickling my shaft as I entered inside of her. It was the best feeling in the world, I pushed up into her as far as I possibly could, her ass fitting perfectly with my hips as if were the perfect puzzle pieces.
"Ohhhhh yesssss," Elena moaned her eyes closed from the pleasure, "don't stop, don't ever stop. I haven't felt this good in years."
It was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done in life, but I knew I would drive her mad with this maneuver, and she would be back wanting more.
"Hold on," I whispered. Elena with her eyes still shut continued rubbing herself and moaning as I slipped my cock out of her and quickly grabbed my clothes and silently exited the room all in one quick swift motion.
I struggled to put on my pants almost face planting as I quickly grabbed the car keys and left the house.
It must have taken a moment for Elena to notice I had left the room because she was so caught up in the feeling of pleasure after all these years.
Just as I was leaving the house I heard her scream in the loudest and most serious tone I had ever heard from her. "Liam, you get back here right now Mr and finish what you started!! "If you think you can tease and play games like that with me, then you're in for a big surprise!"
I couldn't help but smile as I got into my car. Not only from the fact that my plan worked, or at least I hoped it still would, but also from her last words I heard. "A big surprise huh?" I laughed, "oh I can't wait."
I drove off with a smile on my face.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 3 years agoI'm late and you probably got better by now. You weren't bad by the way, I just didn't like the ending and maybe more explanation on the real mother. That's just me though, and Liam didn't seem like a virgin because no virgin would ever do what he did at the end. That was annoying because in sex teasing never makes the sex better just more annoying
Anonymousalmost 5 years agoI don't get the ending either, but I do appreciate the fact this didn't end on the cliche note that they fuck like crazy and have a great time doing so.
But what happens next?
UltimateHomeBodyalmost 5 years agoBut stumped on the breast size. 34 is the outside measurement. You need to add a cup size to find out how big they are. You say she was a model, so am guessing she would have trouble filling a training bra. Lets be generous 34AA
Arousealmost 5 years agoAuthorI want to thank everyone for the comments I have and haven't yet recieved. I will admit, it was a little difficult reading the comments on my mistakes, I feel foolish on my weak approach to the story, alot of good points have been made on my writing that i haven't noticed until it was pointed out by the readers. I'm going to continue to practice and learn from the constructive feedback in order to make my writing and story better and more enjoyable. I can truly understand now how difficult it is to create a well constructed narrative.
Should I continue the pt.02 in an vain attempt of finishing a story that has basically dug its own grave due too its ignorant mistakes? Or should I begin a completely new narrative and really focus on setting proper foundations for possible multiple parts?
It's impossible now to fix simple mistakes that have been pointed out such as timeline, living with the stepmother after the divorce, confusing relations with the Elena, etc, now that the story has been submitted and is no longer revolving around the exposition. Which leaves me to repeat the question I asked above. I'm leaning more toward just starting over and really focusing on a brand new story in hopes of not making the same mistakes twice. Let me know.
Once again I appreciate the feedback. Please keep it coming. I look forward to reading more comments and answering more questions in the future.
linnearalmost 5 years agoI think this was a great first story. I do think the end was a bit off considering she initiated the sex, so why leave her wanting? I realize this is part one and I am looking forward to seeing where you take it.
Anonymousalmost 5 years agoGreat line, "Do you want to eat sushi, or do you want to eat me?" Liam is such a loving and respectful stepson. He deserves pleasure and happiness.
CarlusMagnusalmost 5 years agoI pretty much agree with what previous commenters have said. The major exception is that I think that you really did put some thought into your writing.
To what they've said, I'll add that you seem to have a little trouble with sequencing your verb tenses: For example, "Maybe everything I learned was wrong, but I was certainly going to find out, and I think Elena was the best place to start." This suggests that you think so now; I believe that you meant that you thought so at the time, and "thought" is in better agreement with what precedes your use of "think." Verb tense itself may also be a problem: "ground" not "grinded."
And I will re-emphasize what another commenter has already suggested. Although I don't get the feeling that you "vomited" your story "out onto the page." You did put thought into what you wrote, but I agree that you didn't put enough into it. Writing isn't hard work; writing <i>well,</i> on the other hand...
Reread. Then re-reread. Look up words that you don't use commonly in your everyday speech; be sure that those words mean both what you think they mean and what you want to say. (That one traps me every now and then,) Set your work aside for a month and read it still another time, carefully and thoughtfully. Ask yourself: Do this make good sense? Did I say what I meant to say? Did I really tell the reader everything she needs to know in order to follow the story? How can I say this better and in fewer words? Is this piece of information really contribute anything to the story, or is it only marginally relevant?
Do this last rereading with your work printed out on paper---and with a red pencil in your hand. After that month, what you meant to say will no longer interfere so strongly with what you find that you really said. Mismatched tenses now have a much better chance of jumping out at you, as do holes in your plot.
Practice, practice, practice.
And, last but far from least, read good writing; other than practicing your own writing, the best way to learn to write well is to read writing by other authors who do it well. (And it doesn't hurt to read, once in a while, someone who's terrible and about whom you can say, "Good God! I hope I'm not that awful!")
cageysea9725almost 5 years agoThe story line started out, well, marginally interesting.
When I find a story in the Incest category, and there are any Step-whatevers involved, I think the author has wimped out, and can't really take that step into real Incest. This particular story is particularly egregious in this. Being a step-parent requires a real parent, and the real parent is gone. Elena isn't his step-mom, she's a woman he has lived with for a short period of time.
There is not explanation of why Liam continues to live with his former step mom after dad dies. This is a big omission. It makes absolutely no sense.
The timeline doesn't work for me. Liam is 14 when dad divorces mom, 18 when he meets Elena. Dad and Elena date for a year, then marry, are married for 4 years, and he's 22 when good old Dad dies. Either the numbers or wrong or the author has done a piss poor job of arranging the timeline. Either way, it's details like that which ruin a story, in my opinion.
An editor would have improved the story, probably. I think the author might have used a spell checker, but that doesn't fix grammar, punctuation, awkward wording, or dangling participles. When the reader has to stop and reread, then interpret what's said in order to figure out what was meant, the flow of the story is broken.
I think there may be potential here, but only if the author is willing to put some work into writing. Enjoyable literature can't just be vomited out onto the page. If it was easy to do, everyone would be good at it. It takes work. Without work, it's just not worth reading.
petskunkalmost 5 years agoFor a first effort, I think you are off to a good start. The build up kept me reading but the ending was so off the wall. I gave you a 5 for effort, imagination, and being your first submission. I would suggest you take the other comments seriously and make adjustments. Keep up the effort.
DomJ69almost 5 years agoThis was a good idea and has a great setup, but the transition was questionable and the payoff a disaster.
A good story needs to flow, so mistakes must be eliminated before you post. Here are just a few I spotted:
Dialogue always begins with a capital letter.
… and said, "goodnight with a slight grin."
Sentences that are far too long.
‘dad’ should be ‘Dad’ when a son refers to his father.
Apologies for being the grammar police, but the mistakes did spoil your story for me, so I recommend using a proofreader.
Now to your ending - Liam is a virgin full of testosterone and you suddenly turn him into a dominant character who teases his stepmom - totally unbelievable.
Anyways, I write this in hope it helps your future output, which I look forward to reading.
