My Russian Adventure Pt. 01

Furthermore, I refused to call horny lady friends who would happily take me out and spend the night with me. It would lead to nothing, I didn't want that any more.

The phone rang. Harry Wiltes called, asking if I was still interested in joining the crew.

His company produced TV shows, and provided cameras and operators to cover big events. MTV Europe hired him to cover a music festival in Moscow, it would be the first rock show ever in the Soviet Union. Four American and two Russian bands, and a German band made a world class line-up. It was meant to be the Woodstock of Russia.

This certainly qualified as a big project, I hadn't imagined anything close to this. I was thrilled, and the two weeks I had to wait before we left took ages. It did wonders for my mood though. I went out a few times, and my lady friends were indeed horny and happy to see me.

Russia

When I arrived at the company's premises on a drizzling Tuesday morning, two trucks were ready to be loaded. All of Harry's gear would go in there, as well as backup stuff he arranged. He was a guy who was always curious about the people around him, and he could make anyone feel at ease.

"We don't know what they've got up there," Harry said, "The power seems to be unreliable so I got us generators. And MTV pays for it, extra expenses are totally covered."

With this in mind Geraldine made an inspired decision. Geraldine Jonker was the executive force in the company, she was on par with Harry. While we needed 30 jackets, shirts and caps with the concert's logo, she got us 150 instead, and 150 pairs of jeans as well. "Just so we can share a few," she said, "with the Russians."

Geraldine didn't like me. "Hey, does a spoiled little brat like you know how to use a vacuum cleaner? Clean the buses, and all these boxes need to go in the back." It was a goodhearted kind of rudeness, so I didn't mind.

We had two Mazda minibuses, 22 seats each. The seats in the back were stripped away to create kind of a dressing room, I had to cram the boxes with clothes in there. With a crew of 28, both buses had some spare seats.

We headed for Moscow, a trip of 2500 kilometers. The first stretch covering Germany was supposed to be the easy part but it brought us drama and then some. We hadn't even passed the border when Diederick's girlfriend announced she broke up with him. Anneloes was a gorgeous blonde with an even stronger posh accent than me. Didi and her had been together for ages, I was shocked. She ended up sitting next to me by the window, Anneloes was upset and she used me to shield her from Diederick, who wanted to talk. "Anneloes! I don't understand! Tell me why; talk to me!" I had to endure dozens of variations of this message. I could only shrug.

Was it in the air? There seemed to be more issues around. Instead of a fun field trip, an exciting adventure, I saw dark looks and gritted teeth conversations everywhere. My efforts to escape the break up gloom, led me to sitting with Geraldine. Between the window staring we talked some, I actually enjoyed our time. Around 10pm we arrived at our hotel in Poznań, Poland. When we split up she said, "I still don't like you." I saw a sparkle in her eye but I also felt she meant it.

The next morning, I was relieved to find a seat on the other bus. Even before entering I got the high-school-adventure-field-trip vibe. Light hearted flirting already before the doors closed. After the first coffee break, which was an excuse to smoke, I sat with Anja, of production. Her default expression was grumpy, saying, 'don't fuck with me.' But when she laughed she seemed a different person, easy to open up to. Once we laughed so hard it stung in my side. She fell silent for a moment, and surprised me by saying: "Oh my god, it's true." She grabbed my head and pulled me in for a kiss. We kissed some, and then she snuggled up on me. We passed through a village that seemed to consist only of a church.

"Bareld?" Anja asked me, "You know Henk?" I didn't. "He is the driver of one of the trucks, he confessed to me he has a kink for voyeurism." She grinned. "And in the back of his cabin he has a place to sleep." She faced me again, grabbed my package and gently squeezed. "Are you interested, Bareld?" She kept convincing my balls. "I know I am. What do you say?"

After lunch we snuck into Henk's cabin, and cramped into his sleeping space, which was surprisingly clean. Once we were underway, I learned that sexing with a spectator did not excite me at all, it made me go into my head; my boner lost his bone. In addition, undressing each other proved nearly impossible. Our mood changed from hot to giddy to a nice kind of intimacy. We fell asleep. When I woke I asked Henk if he was disappointed. He said: "Not at all. Being so near to the both of you, whispering and snickering..." He got a dreamy look. "It was totally worth it."

Further into Poland the number of control posts at weird places increased. The country was in turmoil, having the first free elections behind the iron curtain. Some of the officials we met were elated, while others seemed to be mad at us for destroying communism. Harry and Geraldine took turns negotiating. More and more this trip was about enduring boredom, the smell of sweaty bodies, tiredness and uncomfortable faux leather seats.

After another night in a very poor hotel, where we ate food we brought along, we arrived at the venue in Moscow on Thursday. We found a stadium in a barren surroundings, No bars, restaurants, businesses, nothing. The army was there. And jumpy American roadies, the rock stars would arrive tomorrow, and Saturday it would be showtime.

The number of American crew members defied all reason. And did every one of them have access to the rock and roll pharmacy? Straight out of the bus, I had a chat with one of them. I told him it was a trying journey.

"I know dude, same for us," he said. "I've got just the thing. This'll quiet you down." He slipped me a little pill. It seemed innocent enough, so I took it. To find out later it was high dose Haldol. It quieted me down all right, but I really felt off the next day. I decided not to touch their stuff ever again.

The army was watching us starting to unload. Harry said to me, "they're standing where sound control has to go. They seem a bit lost, don't you think? I guess this is a first for them." He grinned, "I'll give you a fiver if you can get them to help us. You up for it?" I nodded, but started feeling nervous as I approached the sea of uniforms.

I thought of soldiers being mostly the same, but I discovered there were huge differences between platoons. Poverty showed in sallow faces and skinny bodies. The soldiers in the nearest platoon, though, were well fed. Sons of the Moscow elite? It would be no coincidence they were at the front row. Eager for everything the decadent West could throw at them.

I went for the uniform with the one stripe on his shoulder, he was immediately pushed aside by sarge three stripes. He had a scary air of authority, but it didn't faze me because it was my father all over, and I could handle dad, thanks mom.

One of the soldiers could speak English, Mels was his name. He was a bit shorter than me, had an impressive chest, and a deadpan face. With his help I tried to get the military to help us. All in vain, rules and regulations, and fear I guess. They were on their guard. In the meantime I saw the sergeant checking out my CREW jacket. On an impulse I took it off and gave it to him. He seemed like a guy that didn't smile often, but on his face I saw the sun break through. And the interest of the soldiers present was palpable. Mels grinned and said: "We still won't help."

When I reported back to Harry that the army was not going to help us, he said: "Well, you got them out of my hair. Let's get some food."

We had a room in the stadium to set up our control center, we used flight cases to sit, and Geraldine brought her personal camping gear. We heated up the white beans in tomato sauce, the added fresh peppers and the fact we were famished made it a treat. We managed to unload most of our stuff before nightfall. Escorted by the army we got to our Hotel in the center of Moscow, were we collapsed.

In the morning we built the structures to hold and protect the cameras. After lunch Harry said, "can you get Gerry for me, she had to coordinate with the band crews but she should have been long back by now."

I found Geraldine in a mayhem of shouting men. She was under siege by Drunk Longhair from one band and a sober but utterly unreasonable Skinny Guy from the other, plus a number of guys I assumed were crew managers.

I hated myself for it, but I saw only one way to help Gerry. I went into full CEO mode. I strode into the room as my dad would have done and stated, "gentlemen, gentlemen, let's stop shouting for a moment. How can I be of service?" Geraldine didn't appreciate my effort, this was her turf and it looked like she wanted to punch me. But she recovered quickly and took the opportunity. She hissed at me, "have fun with this lot, asshole." and she took off in a flash.

Now I was surrounded by a few of the greatest rock stars alive, copying my despised father's behavior. What disgusted me was it came so easily, like CEO-Bareld was the real me. I was grateful that Skinny Guy and Longhair were not impressed. They accepted me as the new target to vent their frustrations though. Apart from the personal hostilities, there was nowhere to go and nothing to do. Longhair #2 entered the room. The tension grew even higher.

As an experienced member of my fraternity, I could tell those guys needed a party. I started asking questions to nudge them in that direction. Did you already meet the KGB guy? Did you know that the first requirement for any Russian professional is that they have to be able to take more booze than any Amerikantsy? If there was a party would you rather invite Bush or Gorbachev? What do you know about Russian women?

It was still chaos, but I could see I got through to Longhair #2, he got a slight grin on his face. The seed was planted. And their reaction to the words 'Russian women' taught me what I already suspected: women would be vital to the plan. I would ask the well fed jet set soldiers to help me out.

Thanks for reading. I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing it. I welcome your feedback, so please leave a message!

Thanks

Jpioo