My Russian Adventure Pt. 03

Mels and I weren't needed for translation anymore, army and KGB had taken their stand. But on our way to our control center, an assistant begged Mels and me to come for an intervention. I got a slight nod from Harry.

The assistant dragged us to Longhair and Skinny Guy #7, they were staring at each other with murder in their eyes. She pointed at Skinny Guy. "Hair Guy needs him in make-up, to be curled up before the show. But he won't come."

So I stepped in. "Sorry to interrupt, but your hair looks awful."

He shouted, "who the fuck are you? You with the KGB or what? Do you even know who I am?"

I pointed at Mels. "He's with the KGB." He wasn't, he was with the army. Or was he? This was Russia after all.

Mels didn't need any encouragement. He barked, "Vy mogli by opredelenno ispol'zovat' nekotoryye zavitki. I lak dlya volos!" (You could definitely use some curls. And hairspray!) "Ne to, chtoby ya chto-to znayu o volosakh!" (Not that I know anything about hair!)

"He wants to investigate you. You have to come for interrogation." Skinny Guy flinched. "Just go, I'll hold him off."

Assisting Girl added: "Jeffrey's waiting for you, and he is already in a state."

Skinny Guy #7 strode off. He bit a last remark to Longhair, who'd held his tongue up till then. "We're not done yet!"

"Coward! Just walk away when a uniform shows up heh! And walking away is what you do best!"

Skinny Guy turned round and opened his mouth, but he saw Mels addressing Longhair. "Vy luchshe vsekh dolzhny ponimat' vazhnost' khoroshey pricheski!" (You of all people should understand the importance of a good hairdo!)

I said to Longhair: "His family is in the audience. You'd better perform well." He gritted his teeth, and vanished through the door behind him.

Assistant Girl said: "Can you make them do anything? Just by speaking Russian?"

"I think so. A uniform is a powerful thing, even more so in Russia. Do you have a challenge for us?"

She stepped into my personal space. "Do you have any plans tonight, Dutch Boy? I might have a challenge." I appreciated she didn't call me Pimp.

"Erm, I'm kind of attached. Mels on the other hand..." I saw her eyeing his chest. "I've seen him without his jacket. There's no vest underneath, it's all him. He's funny too. Do you have coffee somewhere?"

She led us to a room where we found Russian Band Guy with a pot in his hand. "I bump into you all the time, Pimp. I don't complain though, you're the friendliest face around. Do you realize how good your coffee is? We have to add vodka to make ours drinkable."

Big Manager came barging in, a Russian sergeant in tow. "What do you think you're doing? Upsetting Skinny Guy #7? I'm banning you from backstage. Don't show your face! Sergeant, remove these men!"

Sarge said to Mels: "Chto zhe on khochet?" (what does he want?)

"Kivnite yemu, voz'mite nas za plecho i vytolknite iz komnaty. Khorosho vam, khorosho nam." (Nod to him, take us by the shoulder and push us out of the room. Good for you, good for us.) Sarge complied, and Russian Band Guy had the time of his life.

When we left, he exclaimed, "I think Big Manager is making a mistake, he should put both of you onstage!"

We heard the show start, so we went to take a peek. The crowd was even louder than the day before, and the soldiers had already gaps in their ranks. This was gonna be epic, again.

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Jpioo