All Comments on 'My Secretive Family - Gigolo'

by Risktaker48

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

harem mode is one thing. incest/taboo secrets and heat are another. This is a confused jumbled mess, or competing ideas, intermixed with "JOHN DOE, Age 52," paragraphs that both interrupt the reader and make it seem like this is a character sheet for a script to be written later. Hint: harem incest is boring, no matter the writing style.

OverconfidentSarcasmOverconfidentSarcasmabout 2 years ago

I like the story! But I thoroughly dislike the writing style.

The nested sentences, streching over entire paragraphs, with partially missing punctuation, makes this quite hard to read (at least for me). And that interjected part in the middle, with the switched POV, didn't exactly help.

smltwnguysmltwnguyabout 2 years ago

Seems a bit disjointed but still fun. Look forward to more if you choose to continue.

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I've finally started finishing some new stories (too many plot lines in my head), hopefully I will start completing more soon. Most of my writing is fantasy stories at the moment some are based on my own experiences. You dear reader will have to work out which! Thanks in advan...