All Comments on 'My Sister Ell'

Good story, poorly written. Clunky, bad grammar, very short sentences that abut each other but don't don't flow into each other.

Language is clunky...use common contractions for dialogue..can't, don't, shouldn't, etc. Loosen up! Good luck. The idea WAS good.

I'm sorry what? This guy gets two people killed at the outset and that's just it? Never comes up again? He's okay with it, police chief is okay with it, no remorse or guilt at all, etc... Is that not freaking anyone else out?

I liked the story, the tension and anticipation. The detail on the sex acts could be a little more closely observed but not too much, else the tender and loving elements will be lost. I love it. More please!

fucking fantastic can't wait for the next chapter

All I can say is WOW!!!

this is one of the most terrible stories here.

It reminded me of the recent gay bar shooting, not good .

nothing felt real or possible. all I can do is shake my head...

Great read. I liked the sex scenes. Thought the story was fun and clever!

I love the story and will be reading any future segments. But as the previous comment stated, it needs an editor. I noticed several mistakes in which you confused your characters and it comes across as stilted. Keep working at it.

At the end Kim is suddenly there?

I really enjoyed the story, and the characters in it. The one thing that really threw me off though was the viciousness of the beating (Kicking him in the head and beating him to the extent he had to be hospitalized and on pain killers). I could understand both of them slapping him, etc.,, but not a beating like that, nor could I understand why he would ever want to go back with women who are capable of that level of violence. The fact that everyone got over it so easily really hurt the believability of the story. Anyway, except for that, I really liked the rest of story and hope you continue writing.

This story is a reminder of why I never read your crap stories.

Grammar aside, your plots are all the same and they never make any sense. Just absolute drivel the whole way through.

When she asks if it's because she's tainted early on but is entirely ignored annoyed me. That was a huge warning sign to me that she needed help. It should not have just been glossed over.

Hot and sexy romp. Hope to read more about these 3 especially when he knocks his sister up and then Karen wants a baby too.

I am sorry but a 5'5" weightlifter that woman can't resist? Maybe 6'2" would be more believable but if I am wrong you still had him lifting weights and 20 woman stopped working out to look at him. Seriously! He had to dress in baggy clothes or woman wouldn't leave him alone? He is so shy because people wouldn't leave him alone. Very unbelievable!

After an extreme event like the robbery within a few days of them beating him things such as you said: (Kicking him in the head and beating him to the extent he had to be hospitalized and on pain killers) These things are common things after an extreme event, rape/robbery at gun point/any almost death experience, with fear of loosing the one safety blanket they both had an loved/teddy bear. I had something like this happen to me but I got luck she used the butter knife still covered in butter when she broke, it's actually normal for those not seeing shrinks to break from the issue as a mental lock gets released

KIA

I think it needs to be said that women don't become lesbians like you imply in this story, and certainly not because of a bad experience with men. A person is either born lesbian or bi-sexual, they do not become those things.

so...if a lesbian just sucks a dick and swallows pre-come, she's on the road to recovery? What rock did you crawl out from?

I did feel the characters were a bit too perfect.

The male character were good at everything he did, whereby he felt less human.

Get real guys, it is just a story.

I just started reading this, and you started with two huge paragraphs doing completely unnecessary infodumps on bios on the characters right in the start. Extremely awkward and clumsy, and also breaks the "show don't tell" rule bery strongly. This is something I see with Literorica users all the time. Frankly, there's no reason to do it. This info, IF NEEDED, can be easily introduced in the story when the opportunity arrives. Hair color, height, appearance, the martial arts background, they can either be inferred during talks or comparisons when something happens, etc.

sometimes bios work at the beginning - sometimes not. in this story i think the bios work well at the beginning. certainly you exaggerate by saying "huge" bios - they're 6 lines apiece. actually pretty concise by "Literotica" standards. although i agree bios can be out of place at times at the opening, not here - because the 2 main characters bios are central to the story. and the action starts right away.

Also, not really sure you know what you're talking about - the line you use "And also breaks the 'show don't tell" rule bery strongly" seems in "hugely" articulate to me.

I liked it.

Didn't happen. Other gaps and jumps, too. Made for a slightly annoying read.

For those of you saying you cant cure a woman being gay by giving a man oral as people are born gay or not. Apparently you are dense and not very intelligent. There is a thing called bisexuality. Also there are many instances where women have bad experiences with men so they choose to date women not because they are gay but because they hate men that much and thearapy can help these women get over their trauma. Many women and men that are perceived as gay really are not, but are bisexual. It just so happens that at that point the person they have the greatest connection with is same sex. Could be their next partner is opposite sex one never knows.

The first page comes off as an ego trip by the author.

“Lightning fast” and taking out gunmen in seconds, being able to predict they would randomly try to take hostages, talking about having a reputation as some big dick stallion, etc... It reads as an ego trip, I can’t take it seriously, or even get into such nut flexing.

It completely ruins a story when it feels like it was written by steven seagal.

BigMadStork writes a story, and writes it well. The sex is part, but not the whole story, the main plot line is love. Unlike "Anonymous", I can suspend my disbelief about the likelihood about such a robbery in the beginning, BMS does a good job of describing the protagonist's ability to take out the gunman. The only weakness in the story is that perhaps more time should have been dealing with the PTS with the dead people. But I enjoyed it and will give it 5 spurts, er stars

Love all of your stories

I enjoyed the story but the "I'm thinking of quitting" line was such a non sequitur that it took me a line or four to realize I misinterpreted it. It was intended to be read as "I'm thinking of quitting [my job]". I got it differently. Ell had just been teasing him about is failure to answer her question "Do you ever think of me when you jack off at night?" so I read it as "I'm thinking of quitting [picturing you when I jack off]". A ballsy statement implying that yes, he had been jacking off thinking about her but also implying that it hadn't been working as well recently and he was thinking of moving on. Then Ell's next line was an adamant "No!", which I read with an implied "don't stop". I would have loved to see the rest of that conversation.

Such a sexy story I loved it even more second time around. I would love to read more about this wonderful relationship. Surely they are staying together and maybe even making babies.

Between Ell,Karen,and Mike it seems the 3 are just as much in love with one as the other,so is it possible for those three to love the others equally and live as a threesome.Ell and Karen obviously feel that Mike was willing to sacrifice his happiness so Ell and Karen could be together.

But after Karen and Ell found out what Mike said the girls fell head over heels in love with Mike even more for his selfless act,and so Ell and Karen decided they would not make Mike choose one over the other and they told him they wanted him both.I really thought this was a beautiful story but a few things I wish had happened like Mike had been sucessful in getting Ell pregnant and have Karen go off birth control so Mike could get her pregnant as well so they could have munchkins running around.

The other thing is did Karen end up moving in with Mike and Ell and they all slept together every night.Honestly speaking Karen seems like the sweetest loving girl to want to share their love with all three.Sure it may seem strange but as long as each one is happy with the others why should they have to give that up,love should not be limited to just one person the rest of your life,you can love people for different reasons and Mike,Ell,and Karen are a perfect example of that.

please more

Like the story and love the girls. My problem is Mike... he's supposed to be the protagonist, the hero, the guy you root for. The high majority of the time this is someone with a flaw, or is in a seemingly impossible situation, or is at the least someone you want to root for. Mike's just none of those to me. His big flaws are he's 5ft 5in and he's shy, but he's shy because he's soooo amazing and well built that he feels objectified. Sorry but with some like him when he whines, feels objectified and or overwhelmed all I can say is 'boo f-ing hoo' . His biggest problem is even lesbians fall in love with him. It's a great plot but the male lead is too perfect for it to be a great story.

My Sister Ell story is the 5th time for me reading this and honestly it only gets better each time I read it.I mean to have a younger brother save his Lesbian Sister from certain death,and changes her opinion of him almost immediately,and then bizzarly starts having sexual feelings towards him,finally just outright gets him to fuck her when she is a certifiable lesbian who was raped at 14 years old.

But then Ell invites Karen home with them and gets Mike to help Karen with her nightmares too,and like Ell also Karen is a lesbian too and Ell gets Mike to convert Karen into a Bisexual Girl,so Mike,Ell,and Karen can be in a threesome relationship,but the girls are uncertain about their feelings,and Mike being the decent guy/brother he is pulls himself out of the equation,cause he doesn't want to hurt Ell by taking Karen from her,after Ell has been thru so much heartache.

But then Ell and Karen get so worked up because Mike pulled back,when he comes home both Karen and Ell beat and kick the shit out of Mike they overreact and get arrested,and Mike goes to the hospital.Then Dad steps in and secretly records Mike about his feelings for the girls,and texts it to them and eventually both Ell and Karen realize the mistakes they made,and go and try to make amends.

Finally Mike,Ell,and Karen make up,and are all in a loving,bisexual threesome,and hopefully eventually they have lots of daughters so they can be bisexuals and have Daddy Mike also be the father of his daughters babies,and they all can have a wild incestuous bi orgy and live happily ever after the way a good story should.

"they are balling their eyes out"

I would guess it's bawling, right?

A great story, and yes, another chapter about these amazing people please.

In fact l would love to see a few more chapters please you do have a lot to work with here.

Scores 5/5, thank you BMS.

A go to story for a fun read. I thought he was a bit stuck on himself in the beginning but then I realized who cares. It is a very good erotic story and not Shakespeare😀😀

A great story, love it. AAAAA+++++

It is strange that there is no usual epilogue.

I wonder how things will be in a few years?

Will Karen and Ell give him children? Both of them? They both want to.

Will Michael marry Karen? Or will Karen marry Ell? Then how will the third one live with them?

It just seems like the story isn't over. The last lines were written hastily and wanted to publish quickly.

Also, it is noticeable that the quality of the stories is very uneven. Many of the older stories are better than the later ones. Some stories are like a collage of text fragments.

One editor and several authors?

So this story is about 2 Lesbians and a Younger Brother to one of them.Now its hard to believe a Confirmed Lesbian Sister could have a complete mind change to become an equally confirmed bisexual that is also his sister who commits incest.The same goes for Karen.

But the idea that Mike,Ell,and Karen come together to form a loving threesome is a bit farfetched but not impossible.My point is the author made a convincing scenario where this happened in a story.Do I think in real life this could happen the answer would be no or somewhat unlikely.

As for my honest opinion the storyline progressed nicely with flashes of humor,drama,turmoil,violence,and mad passionate love between 3 people,so even tho this wasn't written in actual facts the fiction part was a very good read.

One poster commented the story should continue,but for me this left it open-ended to the readers imagination to decide how you want it to end.I would tell my idea of what I think might have been but I think I want to keep my ideas to myself.

I totally agree with RodimusMike.

lmaooo this is so obviously written by a weaboo loser who can't fathom why lesbians don't like cock. Guy. Lesbians orgasm more than straight women for a reason. And cock is not a requirement for it.

not into domestic abuse as a fetish, 1 star

What a well written love triangle story. The story had great character development and, in the end, when the three of them bonded and realized their love for each other and it was a good ending, but the real story is just the beginning of the polygamous relation that they just have created.

Here we have an opportunity for the author to add another chapter or two for a great continuation of this love triangle. Well Done 5+++++Stars

Oh I do wish someone would help you with word choices!!

"“She is withering on the bed.” Is that the word you intended to use?

Withering meaning - .’intended to make someone feel humiliated; scornful.’

Writhing – meaning – ‘making twisting, squirming movements or contortions of the body.’!

Couldn't read hardly 3 lines without rolling my eyes my eyes sorry to say but I really didn't like this for alot of reasons

[23.07.22]

Excellent romance with just the right amount of 'conflict'.

11/10!!!!!

To have a brother (Mike) inadvertently cause major changes by saving his sister (Ell) and begin to question her lesbian sexuality is powerful and unheard of.And yet Ell seems determined to not only repay Mike for saving her but to also find out how the other half lives (namely hetero sex) and Ell decides Mike is the perfect candidate to find out if she is a true lesbian or bisexual.

And so she has sex with her brother and voila! Ell is instantly turned bisexual (who also wants to get pregnant with Mikes babies) then introductions to Karen who Ell tells of the miracle Mike is,and so Karen finds out and bing,bang,boom Karen is also transformed into a bisexual convert.Now all 3 are I guess sexual roommates with 2 of the 3 being bisexual.Even tho I wish this story had had a continuation it is not really necessary since you can draw your own conclusions.

For me I imagine Mike finishes College,goes on to become a cop and a detective,and becomes like a chief or captain.As for Karen and Ell I think they both graduate and become Head Nurses who end up both getting pregnant with Mikes babies,and Lucky Karen marries Mike one day but Ell also is his Sister/Wife/Lover and they raise their children happily ever after.Finally as for Mom and Dad I wish Mom would find out that Mike is the Father of Ell's children and has a conniption fit but eventually calms down and accepts them,and lastly Dad or more to the point Dad and Karen but I wish Karen had polished Dads knob atleast once so he could experience Karens blowjob skills.That would be MindBlowing.

(12/22/2022) This was a very enjoyable read. I gave this story five stars and added it to my favorites list. But I have one critique though. The story would have flowed a bit better if more contractions were used, like “I’m” instead of “I am” and “I’ve” instead of “I have”, IMO. At some points, but not many, it sounded like the story was being told by that android character from Star Trek. What was his name, commander Info, or something or other?

A very sweet, loving yet erotic story that was well told! Great job!

That may well be the best story of yours that I have read on here.