by dezurtdawg
It might have been a bit more believable if you had split it into 3 different stories. Amber, E V, and mom. but putting them all together, and having it all happen in 24 hours or less, made it hard to accept as even remotely possible.
Stopped reading after page 2, the notion that a 7" cock (apparently it shrunk 1" since the start) is huuuuge and that even at 8" any woman/girl would run away screaming is a clear indication of inexperience since 7 or 8 may be a good enjoyable size and is above average, it's nowhere near huuuuge and terrifying. Eventually it became annoying enough to ruin the story alltogether with some of the other inexperienced flaws in it.
I just cummed with a screw driver in my pussy . Great story he sounds hot .
that was unbelievable and so hot and sexy even if it was illegal
This made me way harder than I thought it would. I'm interested in your take ;)
OHMIGOD if anyone wants to hook up post a comment! This made me so horny...
I quit reading at 11 1/2" dick. if i cant find a story believable, i don't read it.
You kept my dick hard through almost the entire afternoon! Thank you for a nice afternoon!
Trully kinky could it continue, perhaps with Mom and Evie's talk and Amber tagging along as the 'sis-in-law and later dad joining in? what do u think?
Well, this story is fairy-tale-kind, but it's somehow fun to read. Thanks for a nice evening.
yes there is a sequel to this story
it's called My sister eva continues it all
look under the DEZURTDAWG name to find it
Loved this! Incest is one of my favorite type of stories and this is one of the best I have read. Please continue it!! Either with Eva and her mom's "talk" or even with their future plans to marry. Great job!
This is a great story, very well told. Any chance of a sequel... Robin and Evie's 'talk', maybe? Keep up the good work.
Loved this story kinda reminds me of me lol.....except the incest part.
Awesome and very enjoyable story! Ignore the loser below who said the story was 'too long', I hate assholes like those that jack off over some betty boop cartoons and then call it a 'novel'... damned whiny pre-mature ejaculators!
As with one or two other comments, the mother did nothing for me; but then I don't have a mother fetish, just sister/daughter (which is funny b/c I don't have either! lol)
Kinda disappointed Dale didn't get to visit with every other girl on campus but perhaps next chapter, huh?
Scale
this was sexy story! when Amber and Evie were cuming, i got turned on!
This story is too long...the part with the mom was boring...and its all too unrealistic.
This story was SSOOOOO HOT! I came so hard off of it. The part with the mom,though,quickly disinterested me. Still great though.
'Nihil nove sub sole'. - As they say: 'shit always loves shit'
One more typical, and childish tiny pervert
this story was good at first but went too far and the ending was kind of dull. IF this was one of your firsts keep trying you show promise if not seriously consider shortening your stories or add more foreplay and/or seduction
Why so many writers here have - "I have a small DICK, and to make up for that, I'm fantasizing a BAMBOO between my legs" complex?!!!
I m sorry for the rest of you poor slobs. I thought the idea of this site was to write STORIES, not what YOU call believable. I loved it as erotic entertainment. Are you people like those who actually believe Star Trek, or do you enjoy it as entertainment. I think it was a great story and I hope you keep writing. I am a member but something has happened to my password. So I am writing as Anonymous. But My user name is "Old Man".
The 'endless cum & hardon machine' is a bit much - let them take a well deserved break lol. Nevertheless a 5 star made me burst 2nd page story.
How about joining the real world, unless you are John Holmes secret love child, there is no way this is believable. This is the literary equivalent of those shit rap stars who would have you believe that they have an 18" dick & can service 200 ho's every night. Please stop insulting our intelligence, hence the 2 stars.
What a man who can give multiple orgasms and has a neverending supply of cum gets a bit boring after you have read a few of your stories
It would be wonderful if could continue this great story. You're my favorite writer. Please continue.
loved it dude... i dont give a damn what all the negative comments say.. and i read them... you have your own style of writing and it is really quite intriguing for a lustful fantasy story it was really quite amazing.... AND TO ~ALAIN~ GET A LIFE AND REALIZE JUST BECAUSE YOUR A LIMP DICKED PERFECTIONIST DOESNT MEAN WE ALL HAVE TO BE JUST LIKE YOU.... GOD I WOULD FUCKING SHOOT MYSELF IF I WAS LIKE THAT PRICK.
Hii again
as a black haatter
i have found her real picture
https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/23770_101210273255241_2878382_n.jpg
ya see is really hot
i have her fb profile too :D
cheers
Contact writer-plz identify if that is pic
i am 99% sure
too add me at masush2 at g.mail
machikne muji
it was really fucking great
lado kha ,muji tero kathaa.
maile yo lekhe ko bez ,upper anomolous wrote in same language
@anomolous ,sathi ,malae add gara hai 5kype-fbbots is userrnamm
loved your comment
can;t stop laughing
But really story was fantastic
i hope i was up ,My cock inch is 7 inch ,I hope i had sis like u descriipted
it was fantastic
I loved your story,you have given me a challenge "i wil make more bbigger dicck than yours bez it is loved by girlz"
thanks
well writenaccc
I had this same experience, Step sister is 4 yrs older, but everything else happened...
I have good genetics and I've always worked my core/play soccer...
That's just crazy how u put my experience into this story... like u knew me!
If this is a description of your "abilities", you are a much better man than I. Thanks for a great morning of reading as well as a great story.
Machikni mujhi randi ko ban......its fantastic......i loved it a lot.......randi mujhi lado jasto lekhchhas mujhi..............Keep writing man.............
It's a marathon, isn't it?
I’d have liked It just a bit more if Dale wouldn’t have been superman. But it was a really fun read. ‘Exaggerated’ doesn’t even start to describe it.
Thank you for that fun! ;-)
This is the first time I have read any of your writings and it WILL NOT BE THE LAST!
You build the scene well and without a lot of slang that other writers seem to need. You also carry the theme well throughout the story and stay in proper context.
WELL DONE!!!
this feels like the Indiana Jones: Legend of the Crystal Skull of smut. If you're going to go over the top you might as well go all out. Needless to say I enjoyed it.
This isn't at all the kind of reading I usually enjoy, but that said I still kinda liked it. Sure it's OTT, but it doesn't pretend that it isn't, any reader can realize it's OTT within the first 3 paragraphs and after, no one is forcing you to read it.
Largely I don't understand the community's, and moreso the anonymous' community's ire for smut. If you don't like it, don't read it. I've had some people tell me my stories are pretentious drivel, well um fair enough lol...but uh you know then just don't read them :)
I think that any story offered up needs at the very least to taken with an open mind and just read or, not read. The ire, probably isn't overly necessary. Especially if yer anonymous.
Keep writing.
Great story And i WAS laughing out loud when i read the part when he let his sister know who he was!!
Good story although a bit far fetched. Well written, good development of plot and line, and excellent little twist with the mother thrown in.
I'm concerned in a lot of these stories about the tongue switching back and forth between the anus and vagina with no cleaning at any time. Can be very dangerous to the vaginal tract and beyond. Did however enjoy the story especially when he told his sister that he would see her at home.
This is just an adolescent, incestuous, completely impossible fantasy. Nothing more. Proof? A spiderman mask with a mouth hole? Puh-leese.
The best fantasy EVER. Seriously. Three hot girls in 24 hrs? His sis, mom, and sis' best friend? I wouldn't mind takin' a crack at all three of them either! Haha. But man, my girl knows how they feel. Generally it takes me at LEAST an hour to cum and that's just the first time. Normally it takes 2-3 hrs though, and the only one who can keep up with me is her because it takes her just as long the first time.
I'd love to go down the line starting with Amber and then Eva, then Robin. Make a sandwich out of it! Now on to the next part.
{ the sister eva continues it all } is the 2nd part of this story, came out on 11/21/11
At this point im mad that there isn"t another ine yet I check every other day and im going crazy
would love to read what happens between Robin, Evie, Amber, and Dale
unbelievable to say the least but kept me thoroughly entertained. it was like an action flick, no need to think, just sit back and enjoy. well done.
This story is great and I liked it....okay so it is fantasy but it is written in such a style that it is plausible...I do love the power play between Dale and his sister, Eve, as that happens often in families.
I am unsure whether the negative comments on your story is due to jealousy or other personal issues at stake...
My comment: keep on writing for sure.
The previous Anonymous comentators are cowards that strike out at people to make themselves feel better, as apparantly am I, but they wont stick around to see thier effect on the writers writing style ( if any change is affected). I, like a previous comment noted, don't accually have an account here. Nor could i as it is expected that to have an account you will write. I am aware of my limitations, and they are many, but i know that if i wrote anything at all it would be FANTASY, FICTION or SCIFI. not 'real life' as mr' 11 1/2 inch is impossible' suggests. Your story was entertaining and i would love to read a sequel, despite what the plebian detractors demand. Keep on Writing, you spin a good yarn.
contact me through my email if you are insulted by my honesty, COWARDS.
buddamacca@hotmail.com
come get me, MmmWah!
Sorry but this was nothing but a load of crap where the writer puts down his fantasy. Personally I'd rather read a good story with plenty of sex in it than a ton of "ooh, harder, faster ooo I'm cummiiiiing" that basically has a story that, without the sex, would be about 2 paragraphs.
First warning sign of it just being a teen fantasy is that it's written in first person.
You DO know that there's a difference between a story being made up (fiction) and it being fantasy right ?
I started to read this story but quit at the first mention of an 11 1/2 " dick. It might have been a good story or maybe not but I do know that reality was definitely out of the window.
First; can a guy cum that much? Don't know, the most times I personally have in one session with the little woman is seven. Not bragging, just the truth. Took several hours of great fun when neither of us had to worry about the next day! Don't know how many times she made it (women cum in so many different ways) but she was quite satisfied. Not a teenager so could NOT get it up the next day;-(
Second; probably will have a new story coming up in a month or so (life keeps getting in the way of writing) that ties into this one. The title will give it away but it won't be posted as part of a series.
dezurtdawg
I'm not much into the Incest/Taboo type stories but yours sure did grab my attention. I loved this story and can't wait to read more. It took me a long time to get through this story. It was HOT!!! Really looking forward to more. Keep up the great work.
I have really enjoyed this story... I am curious to see what will transpire with Dale and his three loving lovely women
Eva, Amber & Robin... I'm also interested to see this story continue with its current plot... Thanks for a great read so far...
You've done a wonderful job with this story. The only problem I have with it is that I'm not sure a person can come that many times in a row before passing out (or possibly worse ;)). I can't say for certain, but the number of times Evie came certainly seems impossible to me. Even so, I've yet to be able to finish this story. It's that damn good. lol I'll leave you to wonder just WHY I haven't been able to finish it yet. ;) I look forward to finishing this one and reading more submissions from you. Keep up the good work. I really hope you win the contest.
This was a great story lived it and need more, I know it was a one shot Halloween story but hay if you every think to add more about Dale, his sister, her friend, and there mom Robin. It is great and I hope you do more with them even if it's just Dale, his sister, and there mom. Thanks
you REALLY need to continue this one! I want to hear more about the family stud, and his adventures in the family! :D
Perhaps one of us doesn't grasp the idea of 'fiction', but unless the author states that he/she is writing a TRUE story, then EVERYTHING on this site is fantasy! But hey, at least you thought it was good, and that's all I'm after!
dezurtdawg
Good writer but almost laughingly sophmoric fantasy.
Hope you will write another chapter to this story. It was great, Only wish I was one of the girls getting fucked so good.(Had to use my vibrator while reading)
Thanks,
Jill NZ
Your style of writing did not bother me at all. The "revenge (Evie), Love/lust(Amber), Sex God(Dale), and mature-desire(Robin)" elements made the story... "versatile" in a way and kept me wanting to read more. Keep writing and I'll keep reading! Great story overall!
It's really great to see some of LITEROTICA'S best authors submitting stories to contests again.
For a while there the only stories the contests were getting were 750 stories from the SURVIVOR authors and in categories like non erotic and non human!
Meanwhile the reading public wanted good, hard hitting erotica. Which you're helping to provide. Thanks...
I totally enjoyed this story, and can't wait to see what happens when Mom talks to Eva!
Great story! The details show when reading it all. As for the critic who hates your writing so much, it shows just how stupid some people are. Leaving BS comments and hiding behind a anonymous "guest" name. Very pathetic!!!
Well now Evie is such a naughty girl. The story is a very ego stroking thing. Not a horrible thing as fiction goes. Being a sexual deity at times is a good thing at times. I nearly stopped reading early on, but I decided to stick it out. I had to see where the author was headed. I enjoy a good fantasy and there was no woman left unsatisfied, so it worked out. So scold an author or commend the author; that depends on how reality invades life. You didn't write the story how I like it! OK then, ummm yeah imagine that. The story was written, I would def nail Eva just to show her up and Amber was icing on the cake. Mom, well she needed a lil somethin, somethin and sonny-boy was the scratch for the itch. Ya'll get over it, it's friggin fiction.
RS
I am amazed at how powerful your requirement to read only porn perfection is! Granted the six authors you mention are among the best and yes I HAVE read many of their stories. But they write in their style and I write in mine. That does not mean that my stories "!SUCK!" as you so kindly state. There are currently 54137 members here who have submitted at least one story which must really be tough on you since most of them obviously fall well short of your pick of 6.
You say you want to "get the writer to put out better stuff" yet all you can say is it was a waste of your time and that my story "Suckd" (you left out the 'e'). So unless any author you comment on this way is a mind reader, you are not achieving your stated goal. Such a sad waste of time!
I am curious about one thing though ... how did you manage to post two (2) anonymous comments? I believe this site only allows you to do one unless you trick the system by using different computers. Just wondering.
Keep reading, if you so choose, but why waste your time with another comment just to rant about how the story 'Suckd' and you didn't finish reading it.
P. S. Thanks to all the other readers for their comments - good or bad - and their votes - also good or bad although I prefer higher ones.
And to -ALAIN, I prefer only one vote from you and remember, I have the right to remove your - or any other - comments if I so choose. If you have read much of my stuff you know that I have seldom done that as I feel most comments should remain as posted. Like yours.
dezurtdawg
I love to read the stories that take me away from reality.
If you want reality, watch the news or read the news paper. This is fiction.
Good job!! Nice revenge story.
No D, we do not have a "deal".
I comment to get the writer to put out better stuff. This is why I comment & why I'm not going anywhere.
Its ok you feel comfortable with what you write & from some the comments you've got fans who are into that sort of thing, but a word of advice:
Read ALWAYSWANTEDTO, RGJOHN, TURNIPHEAD, RAWDOGPRO, MUSED, SCOURIES (early stuff), etc.....world famous Literotica authors, then you'll see what I mean about better stuff.
Sorry D, but your stories still !SUCK! and require a re-boot.
-ALAIN
this is just further proof of why you are one of my favorite writers on literotica. Such a hot story that I nearly passed out in the middle and finished reading it when I came to.
I don't know what that guy was talking about. I loved the whole story. Nice work. Who gives a shit about misspelled words. Geez!
I stopped reading after "nstead I now sport a solid eight inches that is as big around as my wrist! (If I measured it down the underside to my balls it is nearly 11 ½" but that is probably cheating to measure it like that.)" Have you ever seen a wrist before?
Honestly, All The Sex Scene Was Good ... U Went Into Details ..Nice ... But U Pushed It Way 2 Much .... Only The First Page Feels Realistic ... As Soon As U Go Into The Second Page It Feels Like I've Just Entered Som1's Never To Be True Stupid Fantasy ...... I Mean C'mon ....
But Still Good One Buddy ... Try Keeping It A Lil Real Next Time :)
3.5* out 5
To each is own, I suppose.
Over exaggeration is possibly stimulating for those hoping to actually have a first experience at some future date.
I prefer stories more related to reality.
Is Robin still fertile? Knock Evie and Amber up in the meantime! Have incest babies!
This is a great story. You combined story and smoking hot sex better than all but a few. It seems that most of the time it is either story or sex but not both. 5* and I will read others that you have written.
The young stud is going to be a very busy man, now that he has three women wanting his cock.
I like the thought that all three of the women are BI, and that will give two of the women something to do, while Dale fucks the other of them.
A great story with a happy ending. Or is there more yet to come?
I hope so!
Thanks for the great read.
Great story. You made me hornier than a 7 peckered billy goat! I hope you continue and get Evie, Amber and Robin involved in a foursome say at a secluded cabin somewhere. Keep up :-) the good writing.
This one definitely calls for a followup chapter. Very enjoyable read.