All Comments on 'My Sister Wants to Hire Me Pt. 01'

Part 2 has been submitted and part 3 goes in this evening. No waiting on this story.

Awesome read but was annoying you kept calling Roger.....Robert

It started out well but I gave up as soon as our hero bragged about his 10 inch cock. Was that huge dick really necessary?

5 stars. Loved it. Encore

I didn't notice the mistakes. Since the man is a porn star I have to give the 10 inch cock a pass. If it fits the story I can't complain. Also why is video porn so shit? Sometimes it's cyclical, like a porn star will do a few good videos then all of a sudden we're seeing vertical smart phone trash that a 12 year old could have written. I gave up on it a while ago and stick with Literotica.

I like more of your stories than most writers. Good job.

I am all atwitter anticipating avoiding them.

Having read the first half of this installment and suffered through a couple pages of manically boring, current tense mixed with future tense mixed with past tense conjugations, and run on sentences has left me bored to tears and my penis limp.

I won't be putting myself through that again.

It's really quite stunning to see that you haven't learned a fucking thing since writing your first atrocious story. I occasionally check, because I have seen some other writers become damn good as they practice more and more.

Unfortunately, you're not one of them... The kind of idiot that keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. I mean, you started off horribly -and just got worse as each story progressed. No likeable characters, no relateable characters, highly implausible plot-lines, ridiculous dialogue. Sorry, but you're a terrible writer...

The only reason I'm being as offensive as I am, is because you've had enough time and practice to actually write something good. Instead, you keep posting shit like this.

but, you're stories read like a technical manual.

I love how the Anonymous people write so much trash talk, and yet they probably have never posted 1 story. They are the little cucks that watch their wives get fucked and clean them up afterwards!

But as time went on the writing became sloppy. The story jumped all over the place, there seems to whole sections missing. One moment they are starting off, the next they are naked and finishing.

You need a proof reader. No matter how much 'you' read it, you will read what you think you wrote, whereas a fresh pair of eyes will read what you did write.

It's a shame because it really detracted from the story.

Rapier