All Comments on 'My Sisters and Me Ch. 01'

A great first submission, but just some mild comments if I may?

Please find an editor. The typo's distract and can ruin the whole story.

Yes, the whole story is a fantasy, but try to paint it more realistic. Ejaculating voluminous quantities more than once in a few minutes is not feasible, describing it as such distracts, sounding like a juvenile fantasy - no reflection on the Author though.

Keep up with your effort, and looking forward to the next one.

The word is you're, not your. Very distracting. Go back to school.

It was an OK story. I feel you can make this better than OK if you get an editor.

Learn proper grammar. Learn the difference between your and you are. That mistake was made a couple of times and takes away from the flow. You have the potential to make this a really hot story with the addition of Jenna so find yourself a good editor here.

This is a good first story. I liked the character development and the way the story is paced. I liked the dialogue and their interaction. Please keep up with the story and that will make the sex parts even better ( the build up). I look forward to reading more and thanks for your time and imagination.

Hot story his own harem and gorgeous sisters to boot. Please keep writing.

Five stars all the way.

I enjoyed the plot but was distracted by the bad editing. I gave it a generous 4.

You need one! Way too many errors that distract from story. Get an editor.

Came in my pants

A very good story, looking forward to chapter 2!!!

This is one of the best stories on here. The older sister is experienced and knows her little brother very well. She teased him, knows his sex habits, her description is great and how she knows cock is the best. I hope she comes home tonight and wakes her brother up and just bangs him silly. Lets him do her his way and fills her so full of cum that she will leave a trail to her own bed !! Now, can she get their baby sister all horny to screw them both ?? How will baby sis reaction her brother long, thick hard cock ??? Does she like a huge load of cum ??? They'll both find out. Great work, thank you.

Why is it always nerds with sisters/mom/aunts. Where is the cool smart and athletic protagonist brother/son/nephew.

Liked your writing and the story as well. As others have already said you need an editor.

Looking forward to chapter two.

Getting past all the errors, I couldn't even finish the story, not to mention that it's fairly boilerplate. Been written a hundred times before by others.

9 inch cocks 38ff tits and gallons of cum make good stories

PLEASE DON'T FORGET, WE WILL ALL BE LOOKING FOR Ch.02:

VERY NICE READ. THANK YOU

ps. can't wait to fuck JENNA.

Describing the love interest as "experienced" means I will never read this story. Not interested in cuckold porn about someone already used-up. There's enough of that out in the real world, no use for that in a fantasy.

I look forward to reading your work on the future. Original and inventive is a great start. Work on your technical grammar and structure. But even if you struggle keep writing!

I have a friend who is 5' 10" and she is perfect. My wife is 5' 9'. Both women are 38 D cup. A young teen would be a 32 C. I had a girl friend who was 5' 6" and she was a 34 C cup and super cute. My wife's hips were a 34 but now she is a perfect 36. Big women do not have small sizes. They can weigh 135 to 155 and still be cute. Big women have perfect legs which are long and muscle and no drum stick big butt on a fat leg. My wife and friend jog and they are both Amazon strong. I have know my wife since she was 17 and soon she will be 60 and she looks like she is 35. Please continue the story and get the size right. My wife's arioles are almost 4 inches and PINK...........

I write this in hope it helps your future output. A good story has a setup, transition, and a payoff. The setup was okay, but the transition was virtually nonexistent. The transition is where the sexual tension builds and that is what makes a story erotic.

You had the opportunity for a lot of teasing from his sister and maybe a gradual change of mind, but you went straight to the sex scene. IMO that's just mechanical if there isn't any build up.

Lots of cum sharing, 69s and creampie cleaning!

This is a very good first story. I loved it and I look forward to more!

I don't know about anyone else, but I am definitely looking to many more chaprters !!

Well done !!!

That was better than I expected. You need to remember the difference between to, two and too, though. Also the dimensions of the little sister are too small for belief. Dancers need muscles to move even their petite bodies, so they're not thin so much as athletic. Otherwise you used the first two pages to set up the story well. I might have made this chapter longer and gone the whole 10 days. That gives you time to flesh out Jess and Jeff more. Also to talk about their new sibling dynamic. Hey if you want to leave Jenn until chapter 3 fine by me. You make the rules about when the 2nd sister appears.

". I could probably wrap one of my hands around both of her legs with room to spare.''

So are you saying that one of your hands or one of your arms could be wrapped around her legs with room to spare? Because saying that you could wrap one of your hands around both of her legs means that she has twigs for legs. My hand barely gets around my arm, at my wrist. I couldn't imagine one hand going around 2 of a woman's legs. You may want to adjust your wording.

I really liked the story and I cannot wait for more.

Great start. Need more. Not want more, I need more! Please!!!

Good start to character development and scene set up. Keep up the great work.

To the Anonymous out there. This is a story that deserves attention. The attention Anonymous gives is not appropriate. If Anonymous really wanted to make good, Anonymous would login...or even register. I delete Anonymous comments from my stories as they have no true validity. I wish Literotica would not allow Anonymous users to vote or comment, but I am just a peon here.

To the author: Good premise. There are the grammatical errors; you can deal with that with a good editor. Then there is the issue of "nerd, 9 inch cock, cumming in gallons." Dude...really! These attributes are fantasy...stories must, in order to keep the audience coming back for more, be somewhat realistic. There are other authors on here that think "bigger is better." My opinion, (note I say "opinion") is that realism is better. You have placed yourself into the fantasy categories with the attributes you have assigned to your protagonist. Develop the characters more...make the sex come after a build up...and then blow us away with the climax...we will cum with you. Note: Good effort. I have to follow my own advice. Fabled writing in the future.

Anonymous...Have you ever heard of metaphor or simile...Jeez...give me a break.

Del moy selabri constabli brafisto!

El uchi conaftico moy abri constablo.

Cona abri del constable much festa amecro.

Brafisto.

I really enjoyed this story. It was fun reading about a virgin withh morals being corrupted by his sister and betrayed by his dick! Sure there were things wrong in the writing but I hope you continue writing and work on a sequel to this story, or a few moee chapters!

Great writing, Love the story look forward to Ch. 2.

Next chapter Please

Keep writing -- you've got a good story in there somewhere.

This was actually good story. How a lot of stories should be. Can’t believe you wrote one story then quit.