My Story of Becoming Owned

Later, sitting on top of him after a shower, I lowered myself over him, measuring myself against the length of his body, nuzzling his chest, near one of his nipples. "Kiss me right there," he said, so I did. "Now bite me. Harder. Suck it. Now the other." I took his nipple between my teeth, sucking and biting, teasing with my tongue. "Now kiss down my chest, down my stomach." I made my way down his chest, leaving slow, tantalizing, wet kisses down his body. I kissed his balls, sucking gently. I took his cock in my mouth, drawing away, pulling gently from the base to the end, again and again. Too soon, we were out of time. We had spent too long already. I pulled on my bra and panties.

"Sexy. It's like Christmas in reverse," he said with a grin, watching me dress. Remembering my panties hadn't spent any time in his possession, I pulled them back off and tossed them to him. Finally giving them back to me, I pulled the rest of my clothes on and we headed home.

— Tuesday, he wasn't at work in the morning, so I took my panties off and put them in my desk drawer. (Thinking on it now, since he did come in later, I should have put them in his desk drawer... That would have been fun.) When he saw me at lunch, he said he wanted to bend me over the table and fuck me. He does? Wow, that's awesome. I love knowing that he wants me that bad when he sees me.

— Today, he only took my panties, no plug. I can't help wondering why. Maybe no reason...

At lunch, he started by spanking me. After rubbing me and working his fist inside me, he had me quivering with pleasure, extremely sensitive to the touch but still enjoying every little bit. He shoved his fingers deep, making me squirt, using that wetness to keep me going harder. Then he put the plug in, playing with it, working it in and out, and tried to fit his hand back inside me. It was harder to fit, but it felt good once he got it. My hips were jerking uncontrollably all over the place. Then he would touch my clit, sending me over the edge every time. When he pulled his hand out, every time he rubbed my clit I thought I would squirt again.

He started playing with the plug again. He wanted to see if I could cum from just the plug. He twisted it around, which I love, and pulled and pushed, mm so fast, yes, that does make me cum. Of course, it might have something to do with him whispering, "Cum for me, pet..." Yeah, that's definitely a part of it.

Although I could probably have gone on for longer, I was nearing oversensitivity and my concern about the amount of time we had was getting in the way of me enjoying myself completely, so when he asked if I had had enough, I said I had.

It was my turn to satisfy him then, which I always enjoy. Trying harder, I took him deeper in my throat on my own than I could before, but I still need, and want, his hand on my head, pushing me further where he wants me. I wonder if there are exercises I can do to keep my mouth open wider longer, to keep my teeth from coming so close... Something for me to work on I guess.

— It has been a few months since I've journaled; it is now mid-December. I guess it's less important to document all my thoughts now, we know each other so well. Still, I will write of our experiences, as they give me great pleasure and I would like to relive them, to never forget a single minute with him.

He's been working off-site on another project for about a month, and I haven't seen him as much. It has been a time for much inward thought and personal revelation. Surprisingly, I haven't been as depressed as I think I would have been at any other point in my life, but I haven't been overwhelmed with thoughts of missing him. He keeps me grounded, content, and I don't have to miss him because I know he'll be here when he can, and he'll still be what I need. I don't know if that makes any sense. He just makes me happy, even when he's not here. He makes me feel whole.

I was listening to some random music, and noticed this lyric from the Goo Goo Dolls "Black Balloon" sums us up: "Cuz you were the same as me - but on your knees." This echoed our relationship to me, that we are so similar, but I am his submissive, "on my knees" figuratively and literally, because it's where I belong. I never thought I would have that, but because of him, I don't feel restless the way I always used to.

When he found out he was going to be off-site for another week or more, he came to see me. He had to take the day off anyway for something else, but he found time to drive all the way to spend lunch with me in his truck, giving me some much-needed attention.

— Last week, we took a hotel day together. When he came in, I was sitting on the bed, still clothed, getting some last-minute work done, so he sat behind me, teasing me and playfully distracting me, kissing and biting my neck, running his hands over my breasts and pinching my nipples. Then he got up, stripped, and lay on the bed. I finished quickly, stripping my clothes off and laying next to him. He kissed me, then told me to kiss down his chest. I took my time, kissed his lips one last time, then savored every inch of his skin all the way down to his hips, making us both wait for what would come next.

Finally, I placed a wet kiss on the side of his balls, ran my tongue around, and kissed my way up to the tip of his cock. I took it in my mouth, all the way down to my throat, over and over, but I couldn't go further from in front of him like this. He told me to bring my hips "up here" to kneel over him and let him lick my pussy while I swallow his cock from a better angle. He licked me up and down, making me jerk my hips, fucking me with his tongue, flicking his tongue against my tight little asshole. Finally, he nudged my hips downward and I crawled down to mount his cock, bouncing up and down and rolling my hips, grinding into him until I climaxed. Then he lifted me off and brought me back down to plunge his cock full-length into my ass. Up and down, deliciously dirty, feels better than I ever thought it would.

He rolled me over, and we moved seamlessly together into a doggy position. Harder, then slowly, then holding onto my hips and pounding into me. The feeling of him filling my ass with his cum, claiming me, is indescribably amazing, my whole body clenched with orgasm.

He pulled out the soft cuffs and secured them to my wrists. He placed a blindfold over my eyes, locking me in the darkness behind my eyelids. The cuffs are hooked to straps, and he lifted my arms above my head to attach them to a hook he had placed in the ceiling. My arms outstretched above my head, I stood as tall as I could, my whole body stretched and on display.

"Spread your feet," he said. He took my hook and pressed the large ball against my ass, covering me with lube. He marvels at how big it is, and how it could possibly fit. But he works it in, and it doesn't hurt when he does it. He grabbed my braid, tilted my head back as far as it could go, and attached the end of my braid to the hook with a cord.

He took the flogger to my back, light at first, then harder, down and back up. I struggled to breathe, struggled to stand, fought the exhaustion already building up in my shoulders and arms. Then I felt the cold sharp edge of a blade, as he pressed it into my shoulder and ran it down my back, hard enough to prick but not hard enough to cut. Around the front of my hip and down my thigh, he traces my skin as though he knows it so well, cherishes it, knows exactly how it will respond to this intricate torture. And it does respond, as I get goosebumps and try not to flinch.

"Shhh, try to keep still, pet," he tells me. I can hear the smile in his voice, like he knows I will fail to control my subconscious impulses. I swayed a little, my breathing became harsher. He ran the blade down my breast, pricking my nipple. "Are you scared, pet?"

Scared? No, I trust him with my life. I'm awash with pleasure, my wildest fantasies coming true. Wait, did I say that out loud? No, I haven't answered yet. Shit.

He comes closer to my ear. "Are you scared?" I can hear in his voice, he doesn't like to repeat himself, but I can't make my words come out faster.

I force myself to respond, "No, Sir," but I tremble anyway. He keeps tracing, pressing harder down my thigh again, trailing further inward. When he switches legs, I know he will keep increasing the pressure. He traces toward my labia. Now a little scared, knowing he's pushing me toward it, "Yellow," my color escapes my lips. He put the knife down, switching to the cane. Even though he starts out light, it stings my ass. I start to heat up. He goes harder. My neck is straining, I can't breathe, my throat burns with each breath. "Yellow," I gasp.

He stops. "Too much for you, pet?"

"Just my neck."

He released the cord pulling my head back, and helped me lift my head. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you Sir."

He delivered another strike to my ass, tugged on the hook, then came around in front of me. He tapped the inside of each of my thighs, and I instinctively spread my legs further. "Good girl." He tapped my pussy, my thighs. "Are you hot, pet?" Am I hot? Heat is something I don't feel right now, it is something so far removed from the present that I have to spend a moment rifling through my brain to find my internal thermometer and decide if I might be hot. Yes, I think I am a little hot, I decided, but not uncomfortably so. Smack! The cane hit me, slightly harder than before, just as I said, "Yes, Sir, a little."

"That will be the last time you don't answer me quickly enough," he growled. He shut off the heat, and my mind registers it is quieter in the room than before.

"Yes, Sir."

Then he got the large plug, shoved it in my pussy, and duct taped my egg to my clit. He played with the intensity, turning it up and down, pressing it harder, forcing my body to strain and stretch, toward it, away from it, I don't even know. Finally, he left it on high, placed a piece of duct tape across my mouth, and went back to caning my ass. I'm moaning and whimpering in pleasure through the tape. Now my ass was red and warm, I could feel the raised lines the cane had left.

He took a pin from the small box I had brought and scraped its edge along my nipple. "I've been wanting to see you with your nipples pierced for a long time. Do you want this now?" he crooned. He wanted to temporarily pierce my nipples with a pin. I wanted it, but it made me nervous too.

He had mentioned leaving it until later because it would hurt, and because he didn't want to do everything all at once right at the beginning of the day. I thought that made sense and didn't want to spend too much time thinking about it without answering, so I shook my head "no."

He laughed. "It's okay if you're scared, pet."

He pulled the plug from my pussy and unhooked my hands. "Step backward. Turn around," he said, guiding my movements. "Lean over the bed," he said, as he pushed me down face first on the bed. He pressed the egg against my clit, thrusting his huge hard cock inside me again. 'Hold the egg against your pussy." His hands found my hair, and I moaned into the tape, thrusting back into him as he fucked me so hard, every moment, every thrust, filled with excruciating pleasure. He eased the hook from my ass and left, taking it to the sink. I remained exactly as I was, bent over the bed, face in the sheets, the egg still pressed to my clit making my body clench and my hips jerk. He fucked me until we both came again. He pulled away, turning the egg off as I pulled it away. He removed my blindfold, and then gently pulled the tape from my mouth.

After cleaning up, we lay on the bed. He held me tight as I caught my breath, slowing my heart rate. I heard his breathing deepen and smiled as I realized he'd fallen asleep. We lay like that for a while, just comfortable, the real world somewhere far beyond, locked out of this space.

When he woke, he asked if I'd slept. Although I hadn't, I was very comfortable, relaxed. We decided we were hungry, and went to get breakfast. We dressed, and I handed him my panties, something I hadn't done in a long time, too long. When we finished eating, we stripped down again. We started watching a lesbian porn video I had on my phone, but then he got the vibrating egg and soon I was too distracted to watch anymore. I opened my eyes long enough to shut off the video, and then surrendered to his sensual torture of my over-sensitized clit.

So here's the part of the story where I get lost in daydreaming and then I get a little bit frustrated and embarrassed that the rest of the afternoon, although no less amazing, is completely blurred and I would have trouble getting the order of events correct. I agonize over the telling, because I want to write it down, but I don't want it to be inaccurate, so for now, I will leave it here. We had an amazing day making up for lost time.

— June 2015 Tonight, Sir had me put my hook in and answer the door naked. Strange as it is, I don't feel self conscious about walking around naked with a hook in my ass, although there was a time not that long ago I would have been mortified at the idea. I walk to the bedroom and stand unashamed, feet apart, hands at my sides, awaiting his direction. He bent me over a chair and duct taped my wrists and ankles to the legs. I placed my feet on either side of the chair, legs spread as wide as possible.

He tied the hook to my hair so my head was held back hard and my shoulders were flexed, my breathing shallow. Then he slipped a blindfold over my eyes. Taking his time, he flogged me relentlessly, over my ass, my legs, my back. He spanked my ass, then my pussy, making sure to hit the most sensitive areas over and over, making me cry out. He duct taped my bullet vibrator to my pussy, duct taped my ass cheeks spread wide open, then flogged me some more, as I jerked against the tape that restrained me, forcing the hook to move violently inside me.

He pulled out a very sharp knife, dragging it over my skin. Over the outside of my hips, down my ass cheeks, then around the inside, close, so close to my ass, my most sensitive skin, the feeling of the blade registering sharper the closer he got. In a low, almost teasing voice, he threatened me about just how sharp it was and how I should be careful not to move, while I shuddered with wave after wave of pleasure and pain from the vibrator, the hook, the knife, my muscles stretched to their limits and quivering. He fucked my mouth, deep in my throat. Then he came back around to my pussy, then my ass, and he feels so good plunging into me, I'm lost in excruciating pleasure.

He cut me free, then lay on the bed to make better use of my mouth. I took full pleasure in the feeling of his cock in my mouth, sucking him, taking him deep in my throat, getting him nice and wet and so hard. I lay on my back while he stood over me, while I licked his balls, sucking and teasing them with my tongue, until he covered my chest and belly in his delicious hot cum.

— September 2016 It has been over a year since I've written, pretty much anything. I've tried to deny what I am, with unpleasant results. It didn't work before, and it isn't working now, so I've taken back my collar, as it were. Yesterday in the truck was... primal. It felt good. More than that. I surrendered to my baser instincts, offered myself up whole to whatever lives in me, dark and light and beautiful, let the pleasure consume me, the stark contrast of sharp bursts of pain obliterating everything beyond my flesh, strung taut with sensation.

Much of it is a delicious blur, but there was a particular moment when I was sucking on his fingers and bucking like an animal as he rubbed my clit. I very nearly wept with the release, feeling no anguish, no shame, just completely unstrung. Needless to say, I slept wonderfully last night...

— October 2017 It has been another year since I have written anything. It was supposed to be over in January. I really tried, but our "last day" got cut short before it had even started. We tried to quit anyway, but it just wasn't right. We are constantly drawn to each other.

I have continued to try to deny myself, to put distance between us, to put limitations on our relationship, to not be what I am, off and on over the last year and every time I try, I find myself drowning in a depression so black I struggle to find my way out. But when I stop trying to hide from myself, when I allow myself to be what I am, I feel far more at peace with the world. I don't know what that means for the future, but for now I've decided not to keep putting myself through that hell. The cost to my psyche is just too high to do anything else. I've resumed all activities, just a little more careful than before. For now, that means plugging occasionally, pics most days, and the rare occasion in the truck or even rarer, a hotel.

On Halloween, it meant being plugged all day, catching a minute in the hallway for him to tug on it, pulling it out and pushing it back in, making me bite my lip to keep from moaning out loud. Later we met in the truck after work for an hour of fun. He held his hand hard around my throat, making me gasp, then cut off my breathing completely with his hand over my mouth and nose. I like it, but it leaves me exhausted, and I worry about petechiae and bursting blood vessels in my eyes.

On the nights that I am alone, I work with the large plug, so that someday we can get his whole fist in my ass (and maybe the other in my pussy?) and go back to using the large hook as well. I'm getting to where I can fit my whole fist pretty easily, at least as far as I can reach. It's crazy how elastic I am though, everything is always tight the next day, and sometimes I'm not patient enough to start all over every day and hurt myself, which no one wants.

We had a hotel day recently, although not recently enough for me to chronicle with a satisfying level of detail. He was finally able to put my collar on me, nice and tight. I wore it again on Halloween, just as tight, just to remind me. He brought a shock collar to satisfy my curiosity regarding electric shock. It was so intense! The pain was unlike anything I've ever experienced, and exquisite in its own way, but it was something I couldn't get used to enough to enjoy. We had such a good day, and I just find myself at so much peace after a day with him. Anywhere with him is truly my happy place.

— February 2018 I am a creature of the night. I was meant to be out with the others of my kind. Are you a freak like me? I have desires that have no outlet during the daylight. For me, daytime is a cruel torture, forcing myself to "normalcy", when inside I'm screaming for what is right for me. I wish for autonomy, but I know if I were to tear free, someday I would look back and see that I missed out on something bigger. So I tamp down desires that ache to be fulfilled. I choke down words that will lead to "problems." I deny myself, for the greater good. Yet still, I wish to be free.

— February 22, 2023 I kneel at his feet, gaze downward, awaiting his desire. His hand runs possessively down my hair, fingers trail across my cheek, down my throat, across my collarbone, down my breast to pinch one nipple tightly. He grabs my hair and pulls tight, controlling my head and forcing me to look up at him, my breath strangled in my stretched throat.

He pulls my naked body down across his lap, his hands strong and firm. Stroke and spank, equal measures of pleasure and pain. Every inch of my flesh thrills at its master's touch. All thoughts are burned away, the good, bad, the mundane, there is only him, his hands, his voice, his warmth, his scent. I am home, and this is all there is. This is vitality. Submission is life. I exist here.

— May 9, 2023 He'd asked me to bring my collar, so the first thing he did was secure it around my neck, nice and tight. A feeling of simultaneous calm and nervous expectation came over me. Hand still holding the collar, he yanked me down to my knees. He unzipped his shorts and pulled me in to shove his growing cock down my throat, where its full hard length penetrated deep blocking my airways. While fucking my throat, he brought one large heavy hand down hard on my left ass cheek in a spank that was as satisfying to the ears as the spark of pain was to my senses. It left a delicious little mark on my pale skin.