My Story of Degradation

A Story of Degradation.

This story involves BDSM and crossdressing, change of lifestyle and full submission both mentally and physically. If this is not for you feel free to read elsewhere, please.

I was 47, just divorced for the second time and for the first time in years able to be myself and enjoy what I wanted to do in my own time.

I should explain that since I was a teen I had enjoyed the feeling of wearing female clothing, I was a closet crossdresser, and neither of my wives knew, that was until my second wife found my stash of clothing and videos of crossdresser sucking and taking cock. I swore I had never had a cock and that was true, although I had often gone to bed and dreamt of being 'forced.'

Despite this things between us deteriorated and we agreed mutually to end our marriage. This morning the decree absolute had landed on the doormat courtesy of the post man.

I sat in the lounge a little shocked despite knowing it was coming, I had loved her and still wanted her but she could not reconcile my dressing, and I could not in all honesty promise to give it up, I had done that too many times, and knew in time I would go back to it, it was a part of me.

So I sat there thinking what next. I had a successful business and while not rich I was comfortable and could take time off work when I needed to, the beauty of mobile phones to keep in touch.

I had already decided that should I date again then I would declare early on that I was a dresser, I would not hide it anymore, in fact I allocated the wardrobe in the third bedroom as my dressing cupboard and kept everything there including silicone boobs, underwear and my shoes, all of them at least 4" heels, multiple styles and colours.

I also enjoyed some bondage and knew I was submissive so anyone I met would I felt need to be dominant towards me.

I joined the usual online sites, not really expecting anything as most people on them were time wasters, and waited to see if anyone would contact me. I put in my profile that I was submissive, had a penchant for crossdressing, but didn't consider myself convincing, and bondage, did not really know what my limits were but needed to explore them, and that I would take my time in deciding if and when I would meet someone, I did also add I was bi, not that I had any experience of that, but I just knew I had to have a cock at some point at least once.

I had the usual responses, can I fuck you, give us a blow job, all from faceless people who wanted to meet immediately without notice. Those I did not even reply to, as my profile clearly said I would not meet without getting to know someone first.

I was busy at work and time drifted by, weekends were lonely but at least I got a chance to dress, not that I was very bold, I never ventured out, I did not think I was convincing enough, and my voice was definitely a give away.

Then one Thursday when I got in from work, had something to eat, I opened my laptop and I had a message on my account saying, 'Let me have your email address, I want to know more about you and what you want, answer tonight if you are serious. Mandy'

I immediately clicked the link to her profile. It did not say a lot other then she was a domme, had always been, lived about half an hour away, and had a couple of submissives already but was looking for a third. Her profile also had links to her submissives, one of which was a pretty MtF transgender who was on hormones and transitioning and living as a woman, and the other was a lady who could be described as a superBBW, a mountain of a woman, but still very sexy. Mandy herself had no picture, so I immediately wondered if she was real.

I immediately replied "Mandy, thank you for contacting me, my email address is ... , I await your email, respectfully Derek."

I then logged into my private email and waited to see if an email arrived. Stupid really as I have no idea how often she logged on or how long it would be until she sent an email, so I settled o the settee and watched TV, cant remember what something mindless probably.

I think I must have dropped off, as it was only when the laptop 'pinged' the fact there was email I awoke with a start.

I opened the email and it simply said 'tell me your desires and wishes, I wont hold you to them, and explain why your are looking at your age.' It was signed Mistress Mandy.

I clicked on reply and then sat there thinking about what I really wanted, and decided to be totally honest with her.

I explained my marriage and how it had broken up, and then went on the say that now I was single again I wanted to experience things that I could not inside my marriage.

I said that I felt I was submissive, that while my job and business demanded that I be strong and resolute, when I was at home I wished to not have to make decisions, that I wanted them to be made for me, in the way I dressed, spoke, what I did and when. I read and reread my reply and then signed of respectfully derek. I clicked the send button.

Five minutes later I got a reply from her. The email read as follows:-

'derek

As you will have seen by my profile I already have two beautiful subs who obey my every word when we are together. However they are not able to spend a lot of time with me due to home circumstance, so I am now looking for a submissive that I can train to my way of life and use to please me in any way I desire.

Should you turn out to be suitable then I would expect you to make yourself available whenever I called, perhaps in the future even live with me as my 'wife', submissive as wives used to be in the 50's.

You should also know that I am genetically male, although I have lived as a woman for the last 20 years, but I am not looking, like cindy is, to transition, I am quite happy as I am.

Like yourself I have a high powered job, but when I get home I want to be pampered and treated like the lady I am, I also like to take out the frustrations of the day on my 'wife'.

Think about this carefully and if you are still interested then reply to me with your limits, things you simply will not consider, and be honest, there is no disgrace in saying NO.

I await your reply

Mistress Mandy.'

I read and reread the email. I was not sure I wanted to live with a domme, even a tv domme, although the thought of it did make me hard. I wondered if I could dress every day for her and would I want to? And I wondered how she would take out her frustrations, but as I had never experienced this lifestyle I was excited if a little nervous by the prospect of being someone's toy. But then I thought I was getting ahead of myself now, we had not even agreed to meet yet, and so I clicked on the reply and started to think about my limits.

I started to type.

'Mistress

I am sorry for my ignorance but this lifestyle would be all new to me, although I am sure you could and would mould me to your wishes.

With regards to limits I can only think of no shit, and I don't like the thought of blood being drawn, apart from that I am open to most things.

OH and children of course.

I wish to be guided by you and your desires.

Respectfully

derek'

I looked at the email, read it and clicked send.

I sat there watching the screen, waiting for a reply, but nothing came and after another hour of waiting I took myself to bed, I dreamt of being under her control despite never having seen her, and I wanked myself, surprised how quickly I came.

It took me a while to get to sleep and I had some pretty vivid sexual scenes in them with me tied up and the 'victim', I awoke in the morning with a hard on I had not experienced for a long time.

I checked my email before I went to work that morning but there was nothing there, another time waster I thought and went to work feeling a little let down.

Work was the usual sorting of problems and chatting to supplier and customers, but at least it was Friday and I fully intended to dress when I got in from work, for me dressing was not a sexual thing, I didn't get a hard on as soon as I put knickers on, I just loved the feeling of silky things next to my body.

I was going to have a luxurious bath, get rid of all my body hair, do my nails and toenails so I was a feminine as I could be before going to bed in my new babydoll that I had bought during the week. Then tomorrow I would dress casually en femme and do my housework and chores like washing and cleaning, I was looking forward to it.

Once in the house I changed out of my work clothes, putting on some leggings and a silky blouse together with my falsies, and slipped my wig on over my cropped hair.

I then got something to eat and sat as usual on the sofa, turned the TV on and channel hopped until I found something not too boring. I then opened my email and low and behold there was an email from Mandy.

I opened it and read it.

'Meet me at the coffee shop by the entrance to the shopping mall at 11am, don't be late, I will find you.'

I stared at the message, my heart was pounding, so she was not a timewaster, I hoped we got on and this was the start of something. Only tomorrow would tell.

I hit the reply button and simply said 'yes Mistress'

I still went and had my bath to try and relax, painted my toenails but not my hands, shaved fully, and went to bed in the new babydoll, I had a very restless night and was up early, I put my sexy underwear on, I had no idea why, and then was ready to leave for the journey to the next town and my meeting.

I got to the coffee shop at about 10.30 and grabbed a table in the back, relatively private, having got myself a coffee. I sat and waited patiently, scanning faces as they came and went, I had no idea what she looked like, but knew she would recognise me from my profile picture.

To be continued ...