My Therapists Solution

"Nathan, it's good to see you again. How is everything?"

"Good, Doctor. I haven't had any desire to crossdress since I started seeng you, so very good really."

He smiled at me and twirled his gold pen in his fingers. Fascinated by the flashes of light flickering off it I couldn't take my eyes off it! I could barely hear his soft voice when he started talking again!

"Relax! Relax! Take a deep breath and just let yourself become fully relaxed!

As you exhale you start to fall into a deep, deep sleep. You can hear my voice clearly and will respond appropriately.

As I count to five you will continue to fall deeper and deeper asleep.

One and you're fully relaxed, warm and comfortable.

Two and you're falling deeper and deeper, more and more relaxed..

Three and you're deeply asleep, listening to my voice and able to respond to what I say.

Four all the maleness inside you is fading away. Fading, disappearing, vanishing, dissapating away!

Five, as your maleness fades to nothing you feel your inner femininity flowering, growing stronger and stronger, welling up till your every thought, your every action, your sole purpose, your very existance is drenched deeply in being feminine and female!

Your only desire is to be the beautiful, sexy, seductive, bubbly party girl you've always wanted to be!

The kind of girl that thrives on male attention! The kind of girl that dresses to get that attention! The kind that freely uses her body and sexuality to hold their attention!

Nothing but being that girly girl will ever make you happy! Nothing else will make your life worth living!

Your feminine name is Amanda, Amanda Trane! Every time you hear me say your name you will become even more feminine, more completely the girl you so desire to be!

Now wake up and be that girl."

I opened my eyes and smiled at him.

"Amanda, why are you dressed like that? You'd like to change into something more feminine, wouldn't you?

If you look in the closet you'll find a dress you can change into that will make you feel much more feminine!

It's right there on the second hanger to the left."

A shiver shook me at the sound of my name. I opened the closet and saw the perfect party dress. Deep blue with silver sparkles in designs that called attention to the bosom and short hemline that would show off my legs nicely!

I had worn a satin royal blue set of bra, bikini panties, and garter belt that was trimmed with lacy little pink hearts under the disgusting, repulsive males outerwear I wore to get here! I quickly stripped that off and was slipping the dress on! I felt so much better, so incredibly more feminine when I had it on!

The outlines of my lingerie were very visible thru the tight, thin dress, accenting my femininity as well as making me feel much more feminine to be displayed so shamelessly attired!

Matching four inch heels were right below the dress. I stepped into them with a sigh of relief and walked over to the Dr. so he could zip me up.

"There you go. I'm sure you feel much better now, don't you?" Happy and smiling I nodded my head yes.

"There's someone I'd like you to meet waiting in the lobby, Amanda. " I shook my head trying to clear it but nothing happened! Wait a second why were my knees so wobbly?

"Steve has got to be the most handsome, interesting, fascinating man you will ever see, so I know you want to meet him!

Would you please open the door and invite him to join us?"

I checked my hair and make-up in the mirror, touched up my lipstick and opened the door. The most incredible, good looking, masculine man I'd ever seen looked up from where he was sitting. My heart melted and my knees became even more rubbery as he smiled at me.

"Hello, you must be Steve! The Doctor mentioned that you wanted to meet me and now that I've seen you I know I'd love to get to know you!

Please come in and join us... please."

He smiled at me again and I blushed, fighting down the urge to fling myself into his arms! He came in and sat down still smiling and watching me.

"Well, Steve, I believe I've found the right submissive to fill your needs!

Amanda here came in looking for help to stop his desire to compulsively crossdress, but as I delved deeper I discovered that wasn't what he really wanted!

What he really wants is for someone to take control of his life and feminise him into a 24 / 7 submissive sissy who is headed towards more and more feminisation to suit their whims! Breast enhancement would be the least of it! Knowing you were seeking someone like that I called you so you could take a look at him now that he's just about ready.

"Amanda, why don't you turn around so Steve can get a good look at your dress?"

Blushing slightly I slowly spun in a circle. When I lifted my arms the hemline of my dress rose enough to show the tops of my nylons when I was done so I started to tug it down as I blushed a bright red! I felt so incredibly pleased that Steve was smiling so happily.

"Are you satisfied with her, Steve, or should I keep looking?

"You're sure this is what he wants? Not to be a girl but to be a very passable, convincing sissy!"

"Amanda, you remember our conversation last week? Good! Please repeat the last thing you said to me."

"You were right Sir! Now that I have had the time to think about it I admit I was wrong and you were right!

I enjoy playing dress-up and would love to be a party girl but I can't!

I can't afford to leave my male life behind! Too many ties and I barely get by cashwise as it is! I wouldn't know what to do to earn money as a woman!

Being a girl takes a least a couple of hours a day of preparation too. Where could I find the time if I was doing that every day and working at my job?

I'd never be able to find anyone who would want to take on the care and feeding of a pyscotic like me who wants to wear female clothes but is only pretending to be a girl!"

"Does that remove any doubts you might have, Steve?"

"Yes, I guess it does; as long as you can assure me that he will be the cock crazy, submissive slut you promised me!"

"He already is, or rather was! Both cock craziness and submissive traits were there and merely needed liberating and a slight touch of reinforcement.

He also had an exhibitionism streak that I fanned all the way up to wanting to be a stripper on stage! You might enjoy using that sometime.

So as not to cause her any problems in more semi or fully public places it's set for different degrees of exhibitionism in different places and situations by simple code words. I have a list of them for you explaining what each does.

I'm planning a final check of everything this weekend. Would you like to watch or participate? No? Ok.

I could have it filmed if you want? No? Then I'll see you again when it's time to take her home!"

Steve got up and left and I felt an immediate let down.

"Amanda, Amanda Trane! That's a good gurl. I want you to remove all your clothing! Put the lingerie in your bag along with your heels and dress! Put on the male shorts, socks, pants and shoes then go and clean your face and comb your hair before you put on your shirt!

You will take the bag home and carefully set everything away, forgetting you wore it, have it or even where it is! You will only remember all that when it is time to dress for our next appointment!

When I snap my fingers you will be awake. You won't remember being hypnotised. You will be the same pathetic male you walked in as until you hear me say your femme' name again!"

********* SNAP *********

A Week Later

"Everything was going so well, I hadn't dressed in weeks, then I had a relapse."

"What kind of a relapse? What happened?"

"The day after our last session while I was showering I found myself staring at my nipples. I've been self conscious about them since they first started to swell up, like I told you during our last few session."

"And as I told you when you mentioned it, it's a side effect of the pills I presecribed you! As your body adjusts to them it will pass."

"This time it wasn't the fact that they've become so pink and puffy that bothered me, it was the hair growing around them.

It didn't look or feel right. I just had to remove it, so I plucked them clean. I was amazed at how much more noticeable and prominent my nipples looked after! They also looked kinda silly being surrounded by small patches of chest hair; so I shaved those off.

I felt ridiculous with just my upper chest hairless so I did my waist as well, then below my waist, my armpits, legs and butt!

For once I was glad I wasn't older or masculine enough to be covered with a lot of hair everywhere. It really didn't take a lot of time so I wasn't late for work!

I don't know if you noticed that my face was a bit different when I came in! When I got home from work I was admiring how smooth and more feminine my body looked in the mirror.

My face should be too I thought. So I just had to tweeze my eyebrows! They're a bit thinner and more arched now. Not enough to be noticed or commented on at work, I hope."

"Was that as much as you did?"

"No. My nipples were more prominent and noticeable but it was just my nipples. Nipples should be on breasts but I don't have breasts.

My solution to that was to buy a bikini and go to a couple of tanning salons. Now I might not have breasts but I do have a starkly white breast area surrounding my nipples!"

"Ha, ha, ha! That does seem like an ingenious solution! After all that effort it does raise the question of whether you really want to stop dressing as a female. That was what you started coming here for."

"I know and it is. Like I said this was a relapse, just a temporary backslide."

"So is this as much as you did then?"

"Yes, no, it wasn't. For some reason I started searching thru my bedroom frantically. I thought I'd thrown all the make-up I had away, like you told me to, but in the back of my bottom dresser drawer there was a drugstore bag full I must have forgotten about!

Everything from foundation to eyeshadows and lipstick, even a couple of new nail polishes and a can of hairspray. All of it still neatly wrapped.

It'd been weeks, starting before our first session, since I'd used make-up or nail polish. It just felt so right to once I started!

I did my face, my nails and my hair! I tried not to but couldn't fight the compulsion! I'm not really sure I'd ever want to again by the time I was done!"

"It's common enough for a patient to revert to behavior they were addicted to for years before seeking therapy, even after a year or two of therapy!

You came to me for help to stop this type of behavior but this is only our seventh session. Don't expect too much or fret overly because of one episode like this! We'll get there!

Now, did it go any further?"

"Yes. I'd emptied my closet and dresser of female clothing and was going to take the boxes to goodwill last week but never found the time to. I dug thru them till I found the babydoll nitie that had made me feel like the sexiest female ever and put it on!"

"And then?"

"I just wandered around my apartment feeling feminine, desirable and sexy for the rest of the day."

"That was it?"

"Yes, at least I think it was!"

"You 'think' it was?"

"I did have a very vivid, detailed dream while I napped in the afternoon! At least I think it was a dream! Some things I noticed after seemed fairly strange and I'm worried about that!"

"What kind of things?"

"First when I started my nap I was wearing the babydoll nitie but when I woke up I was naked and sleeping on a fairly large wet spot!"

"You probably just tossed and turned enough to force the nitie off you and had a nocturnal emission."

"That wouldn't explain how the nitie ended up in the pocket of the womans' coat thrown over the arm of my bedroom chair or the four and a half inch heels beside it! I don't remember even seeing either of those when I went thru the boxes to find the nitie!

I don't remember taking any jewellry out either! Yet a pair of long dangly earrings, a matching necklace and some rings were atop the dresser

The jewellry, heels and the nitie stuffed in the pocket of the coat were all part of the dream I had!"

"Calm down, relax, I can see you're getting all worked up over this. I'm sure there's a rational, simple explanation."

"I've never done anything in my sleep but sleep as far as I know. Toss and turn maybe but to get up and do things, walk around and... and... all the rest of it?"

"Okay, take a few deep breaths and relax. What's all the rest of it? Tell me how what you said fits in!"

"OK. In my dream I'd left my apartment and was walking calmly down the street with that coat on and done up, wearing those stiletto heels!

I loved the way those heels made my legs look and how they forced my hips to swish side to side so femininely. Every echoing click they made against the sidewalk left me feeling more female, more desireable and sexy! Every flash of my earrings or necklace filled me with joy and pride in how I looked.

I've told you how scared I am of anyone recognising me. How I'm so embarassed and ashamed of myself for wearing female clothes that I've only snuck out late at night a few times.

This was the middle of the afternoon, on a warm, bright, sunny day and I loved it!. My short coat left most of my bare legs gleaming in the sunlight and I wasn't ashamed or embarassed in the least. I welcomed the looks I got, especially from the men! I savored the thrill it gave me to be stared at and desired as a female!

When I got close to that park I've told you about going to late at night I crossed the street to enter it, then followed the path to the small nook I'd mentioned that was mostly hidden from view by the bushes and trees surrounding it.

I knew you'd be there, sitting on the bench waiting for me."

"What made you think I'd be there?"

"I have no idea, but you didn't seem to be surprised to see me or by the fact that I'd feminised myself. In fact you seemed to be delighted by it!"

"I did, really?"

"Yes. I could tell from the way you smiled at me and told me how beautiful I looked. How you'd never have believed I was a male if you didn't know better.

Then you asked me why I was wearing a coat on such a warm, sunny day. I couldn't think of any reason I should be so I undid it and took it off!

All I had on under it was the sheer babydoll nitie I'd fallen asleep in! I let my coat drop and stood there in front of you in my heels and panties with just a hint of a black mist covering my upper body!

I wasn't embarassed, ashamed or self conscious. I just felt proud of how feminine I looked for you, how sexy and desireable it made me feel!"

"When you say sexy and desireable does that mean you were sexually excited?"

"No, not sexually excited, at least I don't think so at that point. I wasn't erect or anything like that! It was more a deep fulfilling satisfaction from feeling, appearing and being, so feminine in front of you! It was all very surreal, like I was standing beside myself watching it all happen as my body did it."

"Dreams do feel surreal. They are our subconscious expressing our inner desires without the constraints our conscious mind imposes.

I'm going to stop you here and do my best to try to explain it up to this point.

Your relapse, as you put it, in feminising yourself means that subconsciously you still wish to dress femininely and this was your way of expressing that to me, which would explain why I was there!

Your hairlessness, make up, nails, hair and nitie were probably just because you remembered falling asleep that way. A common enough manifestation.

The coat you wore walking to the park represents your desire to keep your secret hidden from the general public, but at the same time it's shortness might also be taken to imply that at that point in time, at least in this dream state, that you felt there was less of a need to hide your secret from the general public!

Once you were standing in front of me, hidden from public sight but not mine, there was no longer a need for the coat. You knew you'd shared your secret with me so there was no need to hide it!

Does that sound reasonable to you?"

I thought about it for a few minutes and had to agree that it did kinda make sense. It had taken a lot to admit to him that I crossdressed in the first place. That alone took a lot of trust!

"Did the dream go any further?"

"Yes. I was facing towards you. You told me two men who were walking by had stopped to stare at me thru the narrow opening!"

"Did that make you feel more or less exposed, make you want to cover yourself or run and hide from them the way you told me you did when you saw that man coming towards you once?"

"No, it didn't bother me. I didn't want to run, hide or cover myself.

Instead I wanted to revel in the feeling of their eyes on me. I turned towards them and waved them in to join us! They never took their eyes off me as they did and I loved it! I had a wide smile on my face as I preened and posed, turning to display my body fully!

I dont know what came over me but suddenly I didn't want even a mist concealing my body from any of you, so I lifted my nitie over my head, tossed it on top of my coat then slipped my panties down and off to stand in front of the three of you in just my heels and jewellry.

I was shaking and nervous at first, afraid that now that they could see I wasn't a true female they'd berate me or leave in disgust. I was so relieved, so pleased, so happy when they didn't!"

"You just stood there naked and exposed to us?"

"I didn't feel like I was naked or exposed. I felt more like it was normal and natural for me to be undressed like this in front of you and these men.

I held my waist in, felt my nipples stiffen even more as they crinkled tighter and lifted my arms above my head. I slowly turned around a few times, taking a few steps back and forth as I did, to make sure all of you got a chance to see me from every possible angle."

"So instead of wanting to hide or cover yourself you became more a brazen hussy!"

"Yes, that's exactly how I felt and what assured me that it had to be just a dream! I'd never be able to do anything remotely like that in real life! Never!!

At that point one of the men muttered something to you in a voice too low for me to hear. You smiled and lifted your hands to point out my puffy, swollen nipples telling them I'd never taken hormones or done anything to make them that way, it'd just happened. You lied, but I was grateful for the lie.

During our third session you pointed out to me that girls had full breasts and larger, more prominent nipples, thinking that would help me stop dressing.

(You seemed surprised when I'd come in very disturbed to show you what had happened to them last session after I'd been taking those pills you'd prescribed to help me relax more!)

Then you smiled at the men and waved your hand towards me, as if offerring me to them! I felt so honored that you had and started to tremble! I lifted my hands above my head and crossed them behind my neck so they would have full, free access to my body!

They stepped forward to stand on either side of me and ran their hands over my body. Their hands lit firey trails of pure bliss inside me as they moved across my soft, smooth skin, stoking the flames higher and higher as they continued! I started gasping for air and felt my pulse begin to race then nearly collapsed as my knees became rubbery. The only thing that prevented that was my arms dropping around their shoulders.

I moaned louder as my eyes closed to block out everything but the feel of their hands exploring my naked body! Nothing else mattered!

Nothing in my life up till then had prepared me for the overwhelming sensations flooding my brain and driving all coherent thoughts away! It felt so incredibly delicious and arousing yet my co... my co... my clit,(smile)... stayed soft and limp!