by Tiffanyuk
3 stars, good beginning somewhat good flow to the story.
It need more fill in between the story cause it feels too fast forward.
Then it has some gramma errors. You could use an editor or someone to read your story through.
"When my Mistress Wife returned she had another surprise for me, as with was Mistress Eileen and a young lad who I new was called John,
(First "wife" not "Wife" then you write "as with" instead you should have said "with her was" or "she was followed by" or "entering the room with her was"
This was just one example of many. When you use capitol letters and when not. Then you need to finish the hole sentence with . and not , .
Everything went divinely until John appears and the gay scene begins. I fear the worst in future chapters. Pity
Keep it coming I got so hard reading it and wanted to drink my own come. Love
That would be every sex perverts
dream to do just that. I know I would. :-)
i wld love if my wife wld done that for me instead she left goo riance lol
fun story. I know its not easy to separate your own feelings from the fantasy that you write, as the story seems disjointed. Next story, slow down, control your breathing and be calm as you create. Good Luck
I love being just like you -- servicing both women & men. I can't wait to read the next chapter of your story.
loved it want to read the next episode so cum n finger out i want more
I liked this story but wish that you had taken much longer to tell it and had included more details.
There was so much sexy action happening, you can make much more out of these situations.
R.
Tiffany Baby,
I wish I were there to dress up with you. We could then take turns. Keep this hot story going. Dale