All Comments on 'My Ugly Suitcase'

If you only read one of this year's St.Patty's Day stories, make it this one. The humor is sharp and the plot is well developed. This is a very good story. You can find other stories in the invitational here. https://www.literotica.com/s/money-honey-the-stories

Brilliant story. The good guy may not have known he was a good guy, but he won in the end. Fabulous story.

5 stars

Cagivagurl.

Fun story. Thanks.

wow! you really hooked me.

dreadful! 5⭐

Everything is there.

I read, I smiled, I laughed in short I loved the questioning, the anxiety, the fear, the humor, the love.....

Thank you very much for this story.

I discover you, and I will then read your other works.

Liked the humorous side of stev2244. Well-written and well-paced. 5-star work here.

Hooked

I loved this!

My favorite line: “It turned out the average mafia hitman was too big for a Corolla trunk. Somehow, the Toyota dealer had withheld that important piece of consumer advice.”

Loved it, great story. Never thought about having an object be a "character" in a story before. 5*

horrible.... my chest still hurts from laughing.

😂😂😂😂😂

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Imaginative, amusing, and well-written. Thanks.

I'll give it another try later. Today, the attempted humor hit me as nothing more than boring as hell. No score yet as I've enjoyed stev2244's writing before and think it might be my state of mind.

Nice change of pace!

5

Well done. One facet of a good story is that the reader enjoys every scene without wanting to look ahead. The character "building" was broken up nicely and never slowed the pace; much of it occurs through the characters' actions and conversations rather than just explaining which helps the story keep moving. Mr. Everyman wins again without having to suddenly remember his 4 years as Delta Force (it's too trite to mention the other group even in a comment.) Just an excellent read. Thank you.

Very well done. Lots of fun! 5

Great story from the creative genius that is Stev2244. I delightful, funny, tender and romantic story. Thank you, sir. May we have another, please? Randi.

"I was a widower, I had killed a person, I had lost my whole existence, and all of my belongings fit into one large gym bag. I felt good."

Classic. Not set in England, but "droll" as can be. Big smiles reading this. Thank you!

He was just a vending machine technician, but a damn good one! After you have lost the one you once had feelings for. You save the day because you are a vending machine technician!

A lovable loser comes out on top, despite the complete lack of commando training. Full marks for characters, plot, humor and just overall fun.

Very entertaining. Some of the lines were fantastic.

Well done !!

Would make a good movie.

Glad that most found this one enjoyable. I didn't. Maybe I should read again with some booze sitting next to me....

Yes, Thank you, and we would love another.

Original; I like original. 5*

That was a fun read. Loved the lovable loser as a character.

Hilarious, nicely done

The first part with the wife seemed to drag on a bit, but I enjoyed the overall story. I also would have liked a little more depth on Dani as a character. You only gave a sentence or two explaining her presence at the lodge and her role, nothing as to what attracted her to our”hero”. We haven’t seen you around for a while - stop by more often! 4*

A little slow and somewhat irritating to start off. But the story grew on me. A tribute to the author.

I’d forgotten that you wrote “Porn Crisis” a stupid story about equally stupid people. An impossible story about an impossible situation with a ridiculous reconciliation.

But l ended up giving it 5/5 because weirdly it entertained me.

This story had a silly MC as well and through good storytelling it grew on me.

In the end I loved it

Scores 5/5 well done!!!!

Great fun story - even the killings which seemed totally justified.

Nice one. I enjoyed the comedy of it.

A really, really cool story. Thoroughly enjoyable.

Wow. Thanks.A+A+A+A+A+A+A+A++A+A+A++A+A++++AAAAA+

not bad, actually pretty damn good. slow start, great finish. 5's

I loved the story - especially with the side reference to the Yugo! I didn't hear that word for quite some time.

I would also enjoy another treat. Thanks!

Excellent story! There was a lot of dark humor, a bit of a Red Dwarf vibe with the listless vending machine guy, and a snow globe story tag. What('s) not to like? Seriously, Michael seemed clueless through much of the story but gained some confidence under Dani's tutelage so I was happy for their happy ending. 5*

Very nice. Something new; an original story line that avoided all the usual troupes. Very enjoyable read.

LH

Good Story. Well written. 5*

Excellent. A great balance between drama, humor, and pathos.

Some stories are criticized for lacking believability.

The joke here is that I could almost believe it.

Anyway, enough to have taken the trouble to award 5 stars.

Enjoyed this story a lot, especially the dry, dark sense of humor. 5 stars from me.

I am a bit confused as to the suitcase and the money. Vinnie was a want-a-be Mafioso trying to step up to the drug business. He needed cash to finance this new venture and was getting $3 million from Fat Alberto. Doris was in cahoots with Vinnie and purchased 2 of the ugly green suitcases, one presumably to carry the money. Was Michael supposed to be the unwitting currier transferring the money from Fat Alberto to Vinnie by picking up the 'wrong' suitcase at the airport containing the money or was his picking up the 'monied' suitcase truly a mistake? Hard to believe that anyone would check a suitcase containing $3 million dollars for a flight and expect an unsuspecting person to pick up the suitcase by mistake as the transfer mechanism. Am I missing something? A bit of explanation sometime in the story would have helped (at least for me).

Besser als jeglicher Tatort Mist. Fünf Sterne.

Captcha

Very entertaining and hilarious!

A good hearted hapless hero and his guardian angel/avenger. Great bit of lighthearted action. adventure. Lots of fun. The punji steaks are a cringeworthy gruesome touch though. Thank you very much for an enjoyable story.

Funny and dark. Well played.

Very funny and a good read, great writing.

A story that was at times humorous and at others dark. It was like watching a beautiful valley as clouds momentarily obscured the sun. 5* adventure yarn.

Love this line:

"It turned out the average mafia hitman was too big for a Corolla trunk. Somehow, the Toyota dealer had withheld that important piece of consumer advice."

Yeah, the good guy wins! Beautiful.

"until I told her where I'd hidden the money, which was still in its old hiding place" - It's old hiding place?I thought he left town.

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"Drop..." was all I could utter - He's not the Police, no need to tell him to drop anything, just shoot the fucker.

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"Problem was, I couldn't shoot into the dark, as I could have hit Dani." - Dark is rarely THAT dark, he saw "moving shadows" before, Dani isn't likely to be moving, plus he can hear Vinnie. he should have a pretty good idea where to shoot.

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Frankly, as soon as he reached for the gun I would have shot, not taken the chance that he could grab it and shoot before I could react.

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@Anonymous Re: The wrong suitcase, no, I don't believe they were counting on him picking up the wrong suitcase.

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Five star story, but one glaring plot hole. Doris gave Vinnie and Michael identical suitcases. Vinnie ends up with Michael's and because of Doris he KNOWS that it's Michael's, ergo, he knows that Michael has his. So why not just grab him at the shop and beat it out of him?

Nice! Very entertaining. Great job with the dialogue, the banter really pulled it together.

A fitting tribute to the movie "What's up Doc" on its 50th anniversary.

This is not one of your better stories. MC is impossible to feel even sympathetic towards…loser by choice.

Fun Fun FUN, almost pink panther-ish. Thank you for the smile on my dial.

Mr Brooks go take a good look in the mirror...you are not Mr Perfect.

Nice little read, the cheating cunt got her just desserts. This too could use a chapter 2.

very funny

Really nice story.

I'm in the minority here, but what others found funny, I found silly. Where others found a sharp plot, I found an exasperatingly dumb story. He's got 3 mil in cash, an old Corolla, what he thinks is the mafia after him, and he waits for the dark to enter his house to get his socks and underwear?? Then gets into his car, and stays in same dadgum vicinity?? This counts for brilliance? The wimpiest hero in the history of literature, who while his lover lies there bleeding with many broken bones, can joke about it? This was absolute crap.

A lovely quirky story about characters it became increasingly easy to identify with.

Awesome

Interesting story from a good story teller. Nice guys finish last but the dumb ones have all the luck. Better lucky than good wins every time.

Fine the woman has all the brains and the balls. Fine he's a dumb shit cuck for most of his marriage. Then this useless sample of XY chromosomes wins the heart and mind of a really brave intelligent beautiful rich young woman? Probably not. But its a nice Fantasy. Isn't there a category for Fantasy stories? This should have been there.

The only saving grace was the violence. OK, not purely the violence, but the violence of the good against the violence of the evil. If it weren't for the guns and the willingness to protect and defend themselves the evil people in this story would have won. OK, credit to the snow globe too, but that was pure luck. When good depends on luck to win over evil it always loses in the long run. You want peace? Prepare for war. That was said a LONG time before I was born; still true today. Ask a Ukrainian, . . . or an American. If the Ukraine still had their nuclear weapons there would be no war there today. The Vinnie's of the world only attack because they believe they can win. Ask Putin; he's always won in the past. Who's fault is that? You think he's afraid of Brandon? You haven't seen anything yet. Its going to get a lot worse before it gets better, if it ever does, there.

So kudos for the violent preservation of love and marriage and peace in their time. She was right about how to secure her survival. She will come to regret her choice of partner eventually, but he's used to being kicked to the curb, so it won't be a long drawn out recovery, for her. Him, who cares?

Thanks for the effort.

Enjoyed the story and humor. Banana Slug shirt and brains cleanup brought to mind heh Tarantino PF. Then I wondered if MC's name was really Llewelyn as in Coen brothers NCfOM. Anyway keep up your riffs on "average guys saved by strong females" theme.

Well, that was bittersweet. Because my chronological tour through LW stev2244 stories has come to an end, and the only way I can read more of them is for him to post another. Which, as I've noted before, means there'll have to be another BR58 themed invitational for him to contribute to. This was another 5, though not quite at the insane power level of "Obedience And Betrayal." But the ordinary guy getting the extraordinary girl is always delightful, reminding me of his lovely fairy tale "The Hermit." The suitcase full of drug deal cash in this story really isn't anything like, and yet reminded me of, the $30k suitcase in SS06's "Lying Eyes." Sbrooks103x makes a valid point about the glaring plot hole, but WTF and so what. Enjoyed it anyway.

QM

Brilliant dialogue

Best she said-he said exchanges since Rosalind Russell and Cary Grant sparred in "His Girl Friday" in 1940. Super story, too. First-rate work, sir.

Loved it. Couldn't understand why Vinnie wanted to kill him and Doris before finding the money tho.

Winterfrog, another loving wives author whom I have enjoyed immensely, first painted the bleak picture of marriage in post Christian northern Europe.

Stev2244, equally talented, walks us further into the bleakness of life in northern Europe with a district existential nihilist flavor.

Enjoy both writers but I think I will stay in Texas.

"the bleakness of life in northern Europe"???

Dude, are you high? They live way better than anywhere in Murica. smh

The line about hell was priceless.

Only hope get better through page and a half. Had to quit. For those who enjoyed my sympathy. Way too bleak for me. Can't stand wimpy cuckold MCs. And definitely painted him that way quickly.

Great piece of humorous writing; at once both overt and sarcastic. Your similes were fresh and entertaining; "dirty as an old man's joke." Full marks, of course.

Slapstick humour at it's best. Well worth the read if you have a humorous side!

Made me smile, worth 5 stars to me⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Enjoyed the story with it's twists and turn. Thanks for your writing.

Very different that most stories here, well done.

Loved the adventure and the comical dialogue !!

Loved it, that was a fun one. You know our MC was like most if us guys, we don't have a clue about life, we just plug along and do our job and take care of the family and life until our wives get bored with us and make our life more miserable than already is. He lucked out a woman that recognized his goodness took him under her wing. We clueless wimps should all be so lucky!

Very amusing, Thanks.

Entertaining and witty! Loved this fun romp. Please keep sharing your work!

Not to bad a read, bit different from the normal on here

I would have liked a bit more...what happened to the wife and hitman's bodies?

Good story. Dialog between MC and Dani was priceless. Added a much needed levity. Doris was a shrew and a harpy motivated by power dynamics and money. At least her snowglobe saved his life. Good dramatic tension.

Second read, had to come back to savor the priceless dialogue between the vending machine technician and Uma Thurman's doppelganger.

You ave an amazingly active imagination and wonderful writing skills. Thank you for sharing.

5 Stars on this one . I liked the style .

Good story, although what happened to all the dead bodies. Also, did he get a new identity! Otherwise, how did he proceed with his own identity? A lit of open questions.

A great story but as Anonymous says below lots of open questions. That many people can't just disappear, the vacant workshop, the empty house and the blood stained bedroom. However well written.

Good stuff. Thanks.

Stuck bolt guy….priceless

Obviously written by an author with a great sense of humor!

Thanks 😁

...and a great choice of "editors!"

You don't really want my comment. Great story.

Loved it. Please, may we have more?

Soo good

What?