My Very First Girlfriend

The boys and I were out for a beer just a few blokes from the factory where I worked. We popped into the Cockade of Feathers also known as the Cock, for some reason. It took bloody ages to get a beer and it was full of 18 and 19 year olds getting shitfaced. Someone suggested popping into the hotel next door. Bloody hell we were getting old at 23. I was leaving a pub and going into a hotel for a drink. Bloody hell.

Actually, it was better because we could talk about work and have a good laugh and a giggle. It was nice to get out. My live-in girlfriend, Dawn, had gone up north to Derby to see her parents for a week, so I was using the excuse for a few pints with the lads.

There was a dance or something going on in the ballroom, I stuck my nose round the door just to be nosey and then I saw her. My ex-girlfriend, Alice.

She broke my heart. We lived on the same street. She was the best looking girl on the street, small point. She was the only girl on the street. We played Cowboys and Indians, Robin Hood and Maid Marion. I would rescue her and fight off the Indians or the Sheriff of Nottingham's men with my string and stick bow and arrow. I'd get wounded, and she'd help me. We outgrew playing those games and I taught her to kick a ball and she taught me hop-scotch. I was rubbish at it.

But it all went to poo when I saw her holding hands with Tommy Withers.

She came running after me as I walked away.

"He made me do it," she said. "If I didn't, he would beat you up."

Tommy was a bully. Which is strange because he was one of the smallest kids in the school. But he had a gang. I might have taken Tommy, I couldn't have taken the gang. Also, Tommy was a coward. Even at seven and three quarter years old I could see that. But she held his hand, and she didn't say she was sorry. That broke my heart. I didn't talk to her for nearly a year, I just ignored her. Every time I saw her, I could see her with Tommy.

That all changed when I got invited to her birthday party. My mother insisted I go because she hoped it would help mend the rift between us. We had been friends for nearly all of our lives, before we could walk properly. And at nearly nine years old I felt a bit more mature. We became friends again. She always insisted she didn't want to do it, and he forced her, or his gang would beat me up. She constantly tried to make it up to me over the many years.

We did get on well together after that birthday party, we became more like brother and sister. We helped each other with our homework, especially maths. I was rubbish at maths, I struggled with arithmetic. She was brilliant. I fixed her bicycle for her. She even tried cutting my hair for me. That didn't go down well with any of the Mums and Dads, and I was duly marched off to the barbers to have the mess sorted out.

But she still never said she was sorry. And I never told her that was what bothered me.

But life goes on.

Alice went away to college to do accounting. She came home most weekends, and we stayed in contact quite a lot. We would often go out together, but just as friends. We would tell each other everything, well almost everything there were certain parts of our life we didn't share, if you know what I mean. I got an apprenticeship at Barstow's Engineering as a machine operator. But I found I had a knack for fixing machinery and soon got moved into the service department. All that time fixing Alice's push bike must have had some use. My boss Alan was very good as a mentor and later as a friend.

Alice and I had a good relationship now in fact I gave her away at her wedding. Her father refused to. In fact, he didn't even turn up at the ceremony

But why was Alice dancing with a bloke in the ballroom, although it looked a little strange? I saw him whisper into her ear. And she leaned into him and put her arms around his neck.

You see, whilst Alice was away at college, she found that she preferred the company of women to men, and I gave her away to her wife Carol. Alice's dad couldn't get over it. Despite me trying to tell him that they were in love, it shouldn't make any difference. It may have come from Alice's mother realising she was never going to get grandchildren. I tried to make them realise that there were other ways, but they would have nothing for it. I think Alice's father was upset because what they did upset Alice's mother.

I became friends with Carol, I think she was glad I stepped up to help out at the wedding. It was a bit strange because I gave Alice away, and Carol's father gave her away. Mmm never mind.

At that point the music stopped in the ballroom and they separated. I went back to the bar, I was going to suggest to the lads that we move on. But they were telling jokes and enjoying themselves and thought it was quite nice, so we stayed where we were.

I tried to stay hidden, but it didn't work. Alice saw me and came across. She had a worried look on her face. But she joined in the fun, most of the lads knew her slightly. I didn't see the bloke she was with. But I think she realised that I must have seen her, because after 10 minutes or so she asked if she could have a word quietly. And we wandered back into the ballroom. She asked me if I'd like to dance. That had never happened before.

"I suppose you saw me and Reginald?"

"Yes, but it's nothing to do with me. Where is Carol?"

"She's off seeing friends down in Dorset."

I wanted to say something about seeing her with Reginald, but it was none of my business. But the picture of her and Tommy sprang back into my mind. Bugger, after all these years I still couldn't shake it.

Reginald butted in and asked me if I minded if he carried on dancing. I gave way. I didn't like him. I liked him even less when he leaned in and kissed her on the lips, I think he was trying to stake his claim in front of me. I don't think she returned the kiss, but it was hard to tell. Still none of my business.

I went back to the bar to have the mickey taken out of me for losing the girl. I just smiled at them, I told them I was a one-girl man.

It was heading towards closing time and as we weren't residents, we tried to grab a last pint before the bar shut. That was when I saw Alice and Reginald come to the bar, order some drinks and I heard Reginald say to put them on his room.

We finished our last beers and as we couldn't get any more we were getting ready to leave. Alice looked like she was settled in for the night, she looked around nervously and saw me. The look on my face must have given something away, she whispered to Reginald then got up and walked towards me. I thought she was just going to say goodbye to me, but she leaned into my ear and said. "Carol and I have an open marriage. We try to be discreet; we didn't think any young people would use this hotel, we thought we'd be safe." She still didn't look happy. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and she told me she'd phone me tomorrow.

I was confused, but it's none of my business.

Alice did phone the following day; we didn't talk about what I'd seen or what she did. She told me that Carol will be back from Dorset on Monday evening. She sort of implied that they did things separately. A part of the agreement was not to tell each other about their assignations. She then went on about how her new job was going, she'd been promoted a couple of months ago, which I knew about. She was having problems with some of the people she had to look after, I told her machines are much better to deal with.

I thought that was the end of it. Until Dawn and I were out shopping and we bumped into Carol. I asked her how her week in Dorset went and she replied she'd been to Devon, not Dorset. Bit strange I thought, but I recognised she had a worried look on her face as well. I don't think that the open marriage thing was working very well for them. I hadn't mentioned to Dawn about what I'd seen in the hotel. Whilst we were standing chatting Dawn popped off, she'd just seen the fresh bread come out of the oven by the bakers, and I was going to make chilli con carne tonight. We like fresh warm bread to soak up the juice. I asked Carol, "You look worried, is the open marriage not going well?'' She looked stunned. she grabbed hold of a shelf to hold herself up.

"What open marriage?"

"I saw Alice and Reginald last week, and she told me you were in Dorset seeing friends." I had sort of assumed Carol was seeing some of her open 'Friends close' by.

"Oh God no," she had gone pale. I saw Dawn heading back towards us. "Can I phone you later, please? It's important."

"Yes of course." Things were obviously not right.

Dawn got back and dropped the still hot bread in the trolley, and we said our goodbyes and split up. Carol did not look well, in fact, Dawn accused me of upsetting her. I told her I didn't and she's going to phone me later this evening. She had a problem she wanted to talk about.

I did get the phone call, Carol knew that Alice and I had been friends for a long time, but I don't think she knew about the Tommy incident.

Basically, Carol told me that she thought Alice was having an affair with a man. She hadn't been down to Dorset, she'd been to Devon to see her folks.

But Alice had been unhappy and tetchy around the house for months since just after her promotion. And there were other signs, working late, especially on a Wednesday. Coming home, going straight for a shower. And she was worried. I commiserated with her, but I didn't see what I could do. Would she like me to have a word with Alice, to find out what was going on. Or was she going to come out right and ask her what was happening, now that I'd seen her with Reginald she could use that as a starting point. She didn't know, she was confused now. We hung up. It didn't feel good, they had only been married for a couple of years.

I did tell Dawn all about it, absolutely everything. We talked about it, we didn't think there was anything we could do, just be there for them.

Then I got another phone call from Carol. I told her that I'd told Dawn everything, she wasn't happy about sharing her secrets, but I think she understood. She asked if I could help. Alice normally worked late on a Wednesday could I be outside her work to see what happened. And Alice had just told her that she's going away Friday and coming back Saturday. She had a course to attend in Bristol. Would it be possible for me to get time off work and follow her, she told me she'd pay for my petrol and anything else. I told her I'd have to think about it.

I chatted with Dawn, we talked it over and she agreed with me that things didn't seem right, and we could help both of our friends. So yes, she thought I should do it. I corrected her, I told her I thought we could do it.

I had a word with my boss Alan to get Friday off, it was a bit short notice and as I've found out in the past with Alan, just tell him the truth. So, I told him some of our friends thought one of their partners was having an affair, but it didn't seem quite right. He didn't know Alice or Carol and I didn't expand. I told him I was going to follow her to Bristol to see what happened and Dawn was going to try to come with me.

Then Alan did something strange, he opened the drawer and gave me a smoke alarm, CO2 detector and a couple of small cameras. I think he muttered something like "shithead." under his breath.

"These cameras will need charging; the smoke alarm just clips on, and the CO2 detector has got a long-life battery. And if you stay late to work tonight, I'll get your double power socket. All have cameras that connect to the Wi-Fi."

"Wow, why have you got all these at work?"

"We used to have some people here who pulled all sorts of shenanigans, and it was my way of catching them out. But enough of that. I'm going to offer you a word or two of advice, to you and your friend. Don't go off half cocked, get as much of the story as you can, and then think before you act. Trust me I'm talking from experience here. I have been known to go off half-cocked and sometimes not go off at all when I should have. It's a balance, one you can so easily get wrong. I'm always here if you want to chat actually, Julia is probably a better person to chat about this sort of thing than me."

I knew Julia was his wife and she worked in the office upstairs along with a couple of other ladies. Julia was a bit of a MILF. I can't let Alan know I thought that, it would be rude.

"D'you know what, I might have some jobs to do in Bristol on Friday, I think you should take the company van. Your friend might recognise your car, men do that sort of thing." I didn't enlighten him.

We waited until nearly everybody had left the office and went to get the double power socket. It appears that it had a camera in it as well. Julia was there, it was obvious Alan had told her what I was about to do. Alan talked me through how to disconnect the thing so I didn't get an electric shock. It was a bit tricky. I only got one shock off the neutral wire. Alan went to make some tea whilst Julia and I had a long chat, Alan came back in and put his 10 penny worth in every now and again. I went home with a lot of advice and a box of goodies, not sure if I was going to use them, but they would be there if I had a need for them.

As soon as I got in, Dawn told me that she had managed to get Friday off as well. I sent Carol a text message asking her to phone me when she could.

She called me quite late; I told her I could help on Wednesday evening and on Friday. I also told her that Dawn was going to give me a hand. She seemed OK with that this time. She gave me details of the hotel that Alice was staying in, it was the same one the course was being held in. She was going down by train leaving here at 9:00 o'clock in the morning and she was due back late Saturday morning. I didn't mention any of the cameras I had. I didn't think they'd be needed.

Wednesday evening came round, and I saw Alice leave her work at her usual time. I had disguised myself with glasses and a hoodie. I tried to dress differently from what I would normally wear. That's quite hard, Dawn helped me. I followed her to a pub down the road she went in, got herself a drink and sat in the corner. About 10 minutes later Reginald came in, I managed to get several photographs of them sitting together on my phone. I zoomed in on her face in one of the pictures. Surely if she was meeting her lover, she would look happier than that. They had one drink and left. I tried to follow them. They got in I assume his car because he got in the driving seat and drove off, my car was far too far away to follow them.

I drove around all the hotels I could see in town to try and see his car in the car park. I didn't, I tried all the discreet places I knew that I had used with Dawn and my other girlfriends. Still didn't find it. Perhaps they were at his house. I took to driving around the middle income bracket housing estates, still didn't find anything. Then I thought she's got to go back to her car at her workplace. I should go and see them come back, and what an idiot. I know his car now, I wonder if Alan has a tracking device at all. Bugger then I had a thought, why doesn't Carol track her on her phone.

I got to her workplace and her car was gone, just after that I got a text from Carol saying that Alice was home and in the shower, we would talk tomorrow. I don't know what I could tell her.

The next morning Alan asked me how my detective work had gone, I told him badly, the mistake I made but not tracking her phone or getting a tracker. He told me he hadn't got one, but he knew where I could get one and he gave me the details. Amazon can be your friend.

Carol phoned me during the day and I told her the sad news that I'd seen her get into his car. I'd seen her go into the pub and have one drink. They got into a car, but my car was too far away. I didn't know where they went. I told her how I'd driven round looking but still couldn't find her, then I mentioned she could track her phone. She tried that but the tracker was turned off, and when she asked if she could turn it on, Alice got all bitchy and said 'Why don't you trust me', her reasons fell on deaf ears. I did point out to her that I had a photograph of them and when you zoom in, it didn't look like someone who was happy. From what she told me, Alice hadn't looked happy since just after she got her new promotion. But when she asked her about it she just said she had to work with some dickheads, and it was stressful. But she's getting used to it, and it'll be over soon.

She had more details of the hotel and the course that she was taking. I went and looked up the hotel online, it was a bit posher than my usual gaff. If I was going to sit in there my usual attire of jeans and sweatshirt would not go down well. I talked to Dawn about it, and we came up with a plan. Time was a bit tight, but it could be done. She would accompany me on the visit to Bristol because two heads are better than one. I was reminded about Alan's warning of not going off half cocked and getting the full story.

Dawn gave me a list of jobs to do which I went and did. It was hard to find a barber open that time in the evening. She went and did some shopping, and when we both got back, she set to work.

I drove to work to pick up the company van. Dawn came with me, there was a fair amount of piss taking when I walked to Alan's office. I had to go down to the shop floor. One cheeky blighter said I looked good with blonde hair, And he might fancy me himself. Dawn couldn't come into the factory, health and safety and all that but, she was now a brunette and not a blonde. I was wearing my best suit with a shirt and tie and carrying a briefcase with my laptop in it. Also in my briefcase, the Wi-Fi cameras that Alan had lent me.

When Alan saw me, he gave me the keys to the company BMW, not the van. He just smiled and told me to be careful. I drove a bit quickly and managed to get to the hotel and get the car parked before Alice got there. We found the room that the course was being held in and went to the lobby, we could see the room entrance from where we were. We ordered ourselves some coffee. I think we looked like a businessman and his secretary. We tried to look the part, in actual fact, Dawn looked so good, I could've been her secretary. She looked every inch the businesswoman with those glasses perched on the end of her nose and bloody sexy to boot.

We saw Alice arrive with Reginald which was no surprise. Watching from where we were, and I had the laptop recording. She tried to stay away from him as much as possible, but he kept on chasing her, this was definitely not right. They booked into the hotel and then went into the course room. Well, there's nothing more we could do now until they finish the course. I did use the time to log the Wi-Fi cameras onto the hotel's Internet and make sure I could get a picture. I didn't know how useful they would be. I did notice it was due to finish at about 4:00 PM. On a whim I tried to book a room in the hotel, they were full because of the course. I booked a table in the restaurant hoping they would all eat in there. I'm afraid this is going to cost Carol a pretty penny, but at least using the company car I'd saved her money on petrol. Super unleaded is quite expensive.

Dawn and I wandered around the city playing the part of posh tourists, it was good. We got back to the hotel in plenty of time for them to finish the course. We sat there in our disguises. It was the same coming out as going in. Alice was trying to stay away from him and he was chasing her. We saw them getting into a lift, we managed to catch them up: it was quite risky. I think Alice looked at me twice. I just nodded at her. I was certain everybody in the lift could hear my heart beating. The colour of the hair, the glasses and the fake moustache and suntan with some packing in my cheeks made me look different enough.