My Voyage of Submission Ch. 17

"Very happy, Henry. I not know why."

"Who?"

"New man. Not even know name."

"Did he force you? Rape you?"

"No," she sobbed. "All me."

He looked at us, standing there with looks of pity. "Do you know who it is? I'm going to kill him."

"You can't kill him Henderson. He's gone. He's fired. He'll be off within the hour. Leo's filing a flight plan now," Master said.

"Master's right, Henry. You can't kill him. He's not worth it. I told you there were risks involved in marrying Maahnoor. You knew the risks. Don't throw away your life because she slipped."

"Slipped. It's less than two months since we've been married. That's not a slip. She's a whore!"

Maahnoor cried harder, still lying on the deck.

I went up to Henderson and dropped to my knees with him and hugged him.

"Maahnoor is not a whore. She's been messed up. You can't go through what she went through and not get messed up. She's got a limited hold of herself, her actions, her emotions. It's why we didn't let anyone ask her for sex or had to refuse it if she asked. Her ability to refuse was severely compromised by all that happened to her. It was ingrained in her to be sexually pleasing, by both beatings and rape. It's why we tell everyone to leave her alone. It took one rotten apple to mess with her, Henry, but she's not a whore. She doesn't even know why she did it. It's the risk you took when you married a woman who hadn't gotten the counseling she needed to put her aright."

"Am I supposed to forgive her? I was giving her a home, a father for another man's child and she fucked another man?"

"I don't know if you can forgive her. I won't ask for you to forgive her. You have to figure that out yourself."

"What are my choices?"

"Under Sharia law, you can stone her to death. She committed adultery. Normally, you need four male witnesses to her adultery, but she admitted it, so yeah, stoning."

Everyone looked at me like I had a screw loose, even Henry. Maahnoor sobbed harder.

"Is this true, Maahnoor?"

"Yes, Henry," she cried. "Beth tells truth."

"Even in the Old Testament, the crime for adultery was stoning. The Pharisees brought an adulteress before Jesus and said the punishment for her sin was stoning, and what did Jesus say?"

"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."

"You're a Christian, Henry. Are you without sin?"

"No."

"Nor is anyone else aboard this ship, so I guess we won't stone her to death. That leaves a few other options. Under Sharia law, it is relatively easy to get a divorce. You just need to repudiate her, to say 'Talaq' which is the equivalent of saying 'I divorce you'. You must continue to maintain her through three menstrual periods, which normally proves she's not pregnant, and you can't have sex with her during that time because if you do, it cancels the repudiation. It also gives time for there to be some mediation done by the respective families. You can also vow to abstain from sex for more than four months. Remember I told you that in your marriage, Maahnoor could demand sex at least once ever four months?"

"Yes."

"By vowing to remain celibate for over four months, you declare to everyone you divorce her. The reason I say you must remain celibate is you are subject to the same punishment for adultery as she is, stoning, so you can't have sex with anyone until the divorce is final. Of course, civil law under the laws of the United States may have something to say about your divorce. As soon as you return to the US, you can seek a divorce in court like any other citizen. We should be back in the US in about seven or eight months, at least on the west coast. To get divorced in one of those states would probably require you to establish residency. So it's probably easier to go back to New York before getting a divorce.

"The next choice is to forgive her and give her the opportunity to prove she can still be a good wife. I would admit that is a difficult choice. Once trust is broken, it's hard to live with a person who's damaged your pride and manhood and gave to someone else what you considered as yours. You will wonder if she's done it once, why she wouldn't do it twice, or three times. The thing of it is, Maahnoor was raised to be a good wife and mother. What happened today is not the way she was raised. It is what was done to her. I hope that would make it a little easier to forgive, knowing it's not who she is, but what was done to her, as much as the brand on her ass was something that was done to her and not her choice. It will require a lot on both of your parts to make this work again. That seems to be the choices you have as far as I can tell."

Henderson was silent, Maahnoor still sobbing.

"Put her in another room. I can't be with her tonight," Henderson said.

"We don't have any more empty rooms," Edgar said.

"You can sleep in my room, Maahnoor. Through that door. I want you to pray to Allah for hope of forgiveness and the strength to be a better wife and woman," I said. "I'll see you get some food."

She looked up at her husband, hoping for any sign of forgiveness. She didn't see anything but anger and pain. She got up and left us, still crying.

Master received a call. "Leo is ready to go. Henderson, you want to say goodbye to the asshole who fucked your wife."

"Damn straight I do." He stood up, clenching his fists.

We all went back to the Helicopter deck. Andrew was being held by Ethan, Thomas and Rafael. The other men who'd come aboard with him were standing around wondering what the fuck was going on.

"Why the fuck am I being kicked off the ship?" Andrew said. "The little raghead bitch begged me to fuck her. If anyone should be kicked off, it's her."

Henderson hunched up and took a step forward before Jake and Art grabbed hold of him. They were straining hard to keep him back.

"You're being fired and removed because I told you those two women were off limits and you disobeyed my orders."

"Even when she begs me to shove it up her arse. She's a fucking arse slut, even sucked my cock clean after I pulled out of her. Nastiest bitch I ever fucked. Man can't keep his wife satisfied, it's not my fault."

Henderson struggled harder, almost tearing out of the two monolith's grasp.

"You know what, Andrew," Master said, "you don't deserve my protection. Jake, Art, Ethan, let them go."

Jake and Art let Henderson go milliseconds before Ethan and the others released Andrew. As short as the time was, Henderson was halfway there and coming like a freight train. The fight looked fairly even for maybe thirty seconds, then Henderson was pounding Andrew's face in. He wouldn't be handsome anymore. When it was close to a pulp, Ethan and the others stopped him. Edgar went up to him, broken and bloody on the deck.

"Mate, you don't deserve this." He ripped an SAS patch Andrew had sewn onto his fatigues. "I'm sorry to think I ever served in the same unit as a fucking piece of shit like you. Boys, stuff him on that helicopter and make sure he gets dropped off at a hospital. When they want to know what happened to him, tell them he fucked with the wife of a US Marine Corps jarhead. That pretty much explains it."

The other nine guys were still a little bewildered, but it was coming into focus now. "What's going on?" Simon asked.

"You'll find out at 2030. Be there or you can be on the next bird out," Master said. "Edgar, take Henderson to sick bay and call Manuel or Sherry to take a look at him."

"I'm going to get Maahnoor some food, Master. Maybe talk to her some more."

"You do that. Good job earlier. I was a little shocked at the stoning thing."

"Yes, I wanted Henry to know how severe the penalty was for what Maahnoor did, and how little control she had over herself to consider doing something in which the penalty was so severe, for someone she didn't even know, and couldn't possibly love. It's an indication of her lack of control."

"Do you think it would make him feel better knowing how little control she has?"

"I don't know. It's a double edged sword, sir. It shows she didn't intend to hurt him, but also she might, regrettably, hurt him again. It shows how much we depend on the crew to keep the women from doing something bad, and it's through no fault of their own. I might need to stay with her tonight, Master. I'm concerned she might hurt herself if we leave her alone."

"Whatever you think. I'll defer to your expertise."

I got some food for Maahnoor from the galley. I doubted she'd be too hungry, may not even want to eat at all, but needed to eat for the baby. I tried to get some lighter foods which she'd digest easier even if upset. I knocked on the door and entered. She was sitting on the deck with her head in her hands. She looked up, hoping perhaps it was Henderson, because she looked down sadly when she saw it was me.

"You need to eat, Maahnoor."

"I'm not hungry."

"No, and I'm sure you'd be willing to starve, but you need to feed your baby. You can't starve your child."

She took the tray from my hands and started picking at her food. I sat there with her not saying anything. She needed to speak first.

Maahnoor got about halfway through her meal before saying, "Henry will never forgive me, will he?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "He did not say Talaq, so I imagine he's thinking about what he wants to do. He beat the man you had sex with half to death."

"Was he hurt?" Maahnoor said, her heart in her throat.

"Some. Manuel's patching him up now."

"Can I see him?"

"I can let him know you want to see him, but I think it should be his choice right now as to whether he sees you. You hurt him very badly. Before Henry shut his mouth, the man said everything you did to him. How you begged him to fuck your ass and sucked his cock afterward. Is that what happened?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"That is going to be hard for him to forgive. If he can forgive you, it will probably take time."

"Maybe if Henry fucked me there, I wouldn't have done it."

"I don't think that's necessarily true, Maahnoor. Henry promised your father he would let you practice your faith, which doesn't allow anal sex. He was keeping his promise to you and your family. But even if he had violated the rules of your faith. You may very well have fucked Andrew anyway, though maybe you would have asked for something other than anal sex. The problem is you are going along with the programming you received as a slave. It's hard to ignore three years of having to be sexually pleasing to your owner or you'd be severely punished. Everything they did was brainwashing you to be a promiscuous slut. As much as we would both wish that to not be true, it's hard for you to escape it. This is the danger and risk I saw for your marriage."

"Does this mean I will be like this forever?"

"No, but it will be hard. It's like an addiction. Your body craves something you had before and it takes great will and strength not to give in to it. Just like people sometimes need help to overcome an addiction, you might need help to overcome this. Every one of the women taken and enslaved are having problems. Ateefah is fornicating before marriage. Sahar is having sex with women. Hibbah with men and women. I don't know what Farah is doing at the moment, but I had sex with her. Yasmine stated she wants another Master, and even if she got one nicer than she had, you know what that's like for the rest of us. She would be having sex with men and women at the direction of her Master. We don't feel as if we're sinning, but Yasmine would. Even Fatima, more westernized than you and not raised as a Muslim, was not raised to have her own submissive and have sex with multiple people.

"I think Islam recognizes how good it feels to have sex with someone and how easy it is to want to have it, so they raise you to be modest and cover your body, not wear make-up or perfume, to not put yourself into positions where it is possible to want or have sex, because once you start, it's hard to stop.

"The only reason Ateefah might not have been the first one to have sex with someone other than James might be fear because he can change his mind any time before they're married and the strangers weren't on the ship before now. Everyone else respected your marriage to Henry. Andrew did not. She faces the same dangers of adultery you do, except we got rid of the person who you had sex with. If any of the others are no better than Andrew was, she might sin too. Eat some more of your food."

She picked at her food some more.

When she looked close to done, I said, "If it's any consolation, I thought you might have more problems than you do. I think being together, going through this recovery together, made you all stronger. I think you should spend as much time with the others as you can, remind Ateefah how easily it is to sin. Perhaps if you feel the desire to sin again, you can ask for their help in keeping you strong and helping you to resist temptation, pray together. Kind of like group therapy. As difficult as it is to talk about what happened to you and how bad it was, you might all feel the same way to some degree, and sometimes, talking about it and getting it out in the open, helps to resist."

I got a reminder about the all hands meeting at 2030.

"I want you to take a shower. You should not have the stink of sex with another man on you if and when you see Henry. You should brush your teeth too, considering what you did. Here's a clean tooth brush." I handed her one of the stock we kept and told her to use mouthwash too.

When she got out of the shower, I thought she should be in other clothes, but I was having trouble finding any which might fit due to her swelling belly.

"You need some maternity clothes, Maahnoor. You can't keep wearing these things."

"I could wear my haik."

"Yes. Good, something that covers you up and gives you your modesty back. I'll go down to your room and get it. Remain here."

"Yes, Beth."

I went to her room and Henry was lying on the bed, some bandages on his face and his hands, particularly his knuckles.

"Anything broken?"

"No."

"Can you tell me where Maahnoor keeps her clothes?"

"Top two drawers of the bureau."

I went to the bureau and found her lighter haik in the second drawer down. I pulled it out.

"Maahnoor heard you fought with Andrew. She wants to see you, make sure you're okay."

"She doesn't care what happened to him?"

"No, Henderson, she doesn't give a shit about him. Never did. It had nothing whatsoever to do with you or him. She didn't care about him or even know him. He was a complete stranger. He was a fix, a drug."

"She wants fucked in the ass, I can fuck her in the ass."

"And if you had, it might not have made a difference. This isn't something she wanted to do. Not like me. I'm not even sure she enjoyed it. She's playing out brainwashing; behavior modification. Her owners wanted obedient little slaves who would do as they're told without question. That's what they got. She may have to fight it for years."

"What would you do?"

"What difference does it make what I'd do? I'm not you. I help my Master fuck other women. If he wanted to fuck other men, I wouldn't care. I'd help him fuck them too. That's part of me. I don't feel possessive about the people I love. You're not me. I wouldn't expect you to be me. You do feel those things. You have to accept what you can live with, not what I can."

"I still love her, you know. She's the sweetest woman I ever met. First one I wanted to spend my life with, but I don't know if I can live with this."

"I know, and I'm sorry; for both of you. I think she loves you just as much. She's heartbroken."

"Is she going to stay in your room tonight?"

"Yes. I don't really want to leave her alone much."

"Do you really think she could hurt herself?"

"It's possible. I think as long as she feels there might be a reconciliation, she may be okay. Nor do I think she wants to harm her child. Beyond that, I can't say. Take your time to decide what you want to do. There really isn't a rush. We can work something out so she can stay with the other women again. You might have to give up this room since it's designed for a couple and we're hard up for space at the moment with all the slaves and the new guys."

"Do I have to go to the muster? Everyone is going to be looking at me with such pity in their eyes."

"Because they care for you. I would say you can skip it, but I think you should go, my personal feeling. Stand up straight and proud, like a Marine."

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Maahnoor did. She's an adult, responsible for her own actions, to the extent she can be. It's no reflection on you and you shouldn't act like it is. I've had sex with you and there's nothing wrong with you as a lover. It's not that you didn't keep Maahnoor satisfied, like that prick Andrew intimated. It may be no one can keep her satisfied. Not until she's had the counseling she needs."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. I got you a wedding present. I suppose I should hold onto it for awhile."

"I guess."

I gave him a kiss on the forehead. "We'll see you when we see you."

Maahnoor looked up when I entered the room. "Why did it take so long?"

"Henry was there. We talked."

"Is he okay?"

"Physically, he's fine. But he's very unhappy. He still loves you."

"Will he forgive me?"

"I don't know. How easy would you forgive? Here's your haik. Put it on quickly. We need to leave."

We were on time for the muster. I left Maahnoor with the other slaves. I don't think anyone knew what happened yet except the people involved. I went up to join Master who was standing in front waiting for everyone to show with Hannah and his other three slaves. Henderson hadn't shown yet. At 2030 on the nose, he showed up, bandages and all, standing with Roberta behind Edgar. The nine new guys were front and center, and I was sure there was a reason for that.

"The reason I called this meeting, why it was so important I call this meeting, is because we lost someone today, and he was in damn bad shape when he left. Leo had to take him to a hospital. Andrew is no longer with us. He got terminated, with a farewell beating from Henderson. You new men; you don't know what's happened on this voyage. You haven't seen what we've seen. Why we have so many freed slaves with us and how it's affected us, so I'm going to give you a quick briefing. Fatima, could you please come up front with me?"

Fatima stood next to Master at attention.

"Fatima was the first slave we found. Fatima, pardon me for asking, but can you show our newcomers your back and the brand on your hind quarters."

She lifted up her shirt and pulled her pants down low enough to show her brand. Even now, over two months after her freedom, her back was scarred and ugly, and standing as close to the new people as she was, they could see the brand burned into her ass. That was almost two years old.

"Thank you, Fatima, pull your clothes back on. Fatima was taken nearly two years ago and for eighteen months, was a slave to a man who needed to beat her with a stingray barb to get hard enough to rape her. When she joined us, she couldn't physically say the word NO. Every time she said 'no' to her owner, she was beaten. We had to give her a word to use instead of 'no', Mota, the name of a pet dog she owned as a child. If she was given contradictory orders by us, she tried to comply with both of them, pleading not to be beaten.

"We found five more in Rio de Janeiro, not beaten as badly as Fatima, but all raped and punished frequently. Three of the women were pregnant. Their owner was breeding them to either sell his kids when they reached eighteen as virgins, or keep the children as his own slaves when his got old and wrinkled. One of those women was returned to her parents in Bolivia. The other two, being virgins when captured, spent six weeks undergoing sexual training to be pleasing to the men who they'd be sold to, only their vaginal virginity saved for their first owners.