My Voyage of Submission Ch. 17

"It is very hard to go through something like that." I thought for a few moments. "This is not something I spent much time studying. It's even harder because most of these women were raised differently than I was. What research I have access to would probably be more appropriate for western society, not Muslim."

"But you could talk to Professor Kline and get his opinion on what you wanted to do. And maybe the Imam marrying James and Ateefah would know something which could help or refer you to someone who specialized in Muslim society. It's not impossible, right?"

I smiled at him. "Not impossible, I guess. Does this mean you want to continue trying to make things work with Maahnoor?"

"I'd like to. I may even be able to forgive what happened with Andrew, but I worry about the next time, or the time after that. I can't keep forgiving her every time it happens. I want a normal marriage."

"I understand. I don't blame you."

"She said she didn't want me having sex with anyone either, that she would be hurt if I did what she did. What if I threatened to have sex with someone whenever she did? Make her watch me have sex with them, so she knows how bad it feels?"

"That might be additional incentive to behave herself, but it's not that she wants to misbehave, Henry. Instead of stopping her from having sex with someone, you might just end up in an open marriage where you're both fucking other people all the time. In the long run, that's not healthy for either of you if it's not what you want in a marriage. I don't think she does. She loves you quite deeply. Do you know what she told the other women at breakfast?"

"What?"

"That if you divorced her, one of the others should marry you because you were a good man and a good lover. She offered to surrender her Meher so you could give it to another woman. It was all the money she has in the world. She'd give it up so you could have a better wife."

Henry started crying. I'll admit I did too. Talk about star crossed lovers. "The real sad part is all of the other freed slaves might have the same problems. You're only trading the issues you have with Maahnoor to another person."

"Shit, this just makes me feel worse," he said. "Why would she say that?"

"Because she knows she failed you. You did not fail her. You're a good man, a good husband and will be a good father. The issues are hers, not yours."

"Then you have to help her, Beth. You have to help all of them."

"You could send her someplace with a person who is more suited to treating her."

"Then people who don't know her like you do, who don't know what she went through, will be treating her. I'll be apart from her and she won't have the protection provided by Joshua on this ship. It gives you eight months to work with her before she has to live in the real world."

"I tell you what; I'll speak to my Master and Doctor Kline. I'll do some research and see what I can come up with and run it by Doctor Kline. If he agrees with my treatment plan, I'll give it a shot and see how it goes."

"Thanks. Let me think about this some more, but if I decide to reconcile with Maahnoor, I'd like you to be there with us when I tell her. I'll probably have rules I want her to follow, maybe you can tell me if they'll work."

"I'll do that."

"It turns out you're good for more than sex," Henry said, smiling.

"I like to think so."

******

After Henry left, I called Ateefah to my room. She arrived and I showed her the things I'd found in my shopping search. I had four or five I liked.

"I'd like to buy your bridal outfit," I said. "Take a look at these and tell me which of them you like the most?"

She looked them all over and said. "This is very beautiful. Very traditional, much better than I can afford."

"You don't have to afford it. That is why I'm buying it for you. Do you like this one?"

It was wine colored with silver embroidery all over the dress, baring the shoulders, floor length, with a high neckline and long sleeves. It came with a scarf of translucent fabric of the same color worn over one shoulder and arm. It was stunning and would look fabulous with the necklace, earrings and headpiece I found to go with it.

"Very much so."

"Then it shall be yours. Since we cannot go into the store, we will either have to send your sizes and ask them to alter it to fit, or bring the seamstress here. Now, rather than James wearing the clothes he has now, is there anything from these outfits you would like to see him wear at your wedding?"

She picked out something which was silver-gray pants, with a silver jacket with wine colored embroidery, almost the reverse of her own dress. I could see where James would look dashing in it.

"We can either ask him for his sizes, or you can look at the size tags on the clothes he has now if you want it to be a surprise."

"A surprise, please."

"Bring me his sizes tomorrow, including his shoe size as he'll need something to match this. We'll have to convert the American sizes to European sizes, but I can find that on the internet. His pants will have two numbers; one is the waist, the other is the inseam, the length of the leg from his crotch to the hem on the pants leg."

She looked down at her swelling belly. "I wish I could come to him a young, thin woman with no child, a virgin. I could put on the dress instead of worrying if the baby will fit in it."

"I know. It is a sad thing when our plans for life are ruined. Just remember that he is not a virgin either, that he does not care if you are not pure; that the child is half yours and he will love it for that reason, and some day, you may give him his own child. One does the best one can do under these circumstances. There is a term in card games which applies to life as well. 'You play the cards you are dealt.'

"No one knows what life will bring. Who one will meet, who they will fall in love with, whether they will become ill, or injured in an accident. Good and bad things happen to all people. We thank Allah for the good, and ask for the strength to overcome the bad. That is all anyone can do. Before we look at the other things I was thinking of for your wedding, I wanted to ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"If I can design a plan for treatment for you and get Doctor Kline to approve, would you attend group sessions with Maahnoor and anyone else who wishes to attend to help you deal with what happened to you? There is a possibility such a group might help prevent what Maahnoor did, from happening to you. Only a chance. There are no guarantees. The thing which would be bad for you in this treatment, is in order to confront our demons, we must bring them out into the light so they may be examined, understood, and contained. This often requires you to remember the very worst that happened to you instead of trying to forget. To remember all the pain and shame you felt, all over again. It will be very hard. It will make you cry all over again. The one good thing is you will all do it together and can lean on one another, to share your pain and with the help of your friends, rip it out."

"You have been a good friend and very kind to all of us. If you think it would help, I would go."

"I will let you know if and when we can start. Now, let me ask you; in any wedding you have ever attended, was there something you saw or heard you wished you could have at your own wedding. Some music, some lights, some food, some flowers; anything at all you dreamed of for yourself, for I would like to make your dreams come true. Here are some of the things I have seen which I thought were beautiful expressions of love."

We bent over the computer and looked at all the things a young woman might want for her wedding. I burned a serious hole in Master's money. It took until supper.

******

Master had two of the new men seated at the dinner table with us. He told them they were chosen alphabetically so the could meet others in a more social setting and perhaps understand more of the nature of the people on the ship. The two were Oz and Jerry. While we were dressed, Master still fed Miranda and fondled her in front of everyone. Though you couldn't see what his hand was doing when it was down her pants, you knew what he was doing especially when she orgasmed, begging Master to be allowed to cum, twice.

"My wife, Beth, Francesca and Belle, through Francesca, are all my submissives. Sometimes, I choose to share them with my crew, sometimes I don't. Whether I do or not is totally up to me. I control them, they don't control themselves. They may fuck the people I tell them to fuck, and no one else. Their orgasms belong to me. Miranda asked permission to cum because her orgasm belongs to me, not her. Angelique, married to my personal assistant, Hannah, is also a submissive, and belongs to her wife. She is a lesbian and will not fuck any of the men, though she may fuck the women. Sherry and Manuel, both submit to Lynn. They are engaged and only fuck their Mistress and anyone she gives them permission to fuck, which is only women as Manuel doesn't want his fiancée fucking other men. It's part of their agreement with their Mistress. Fatima, is a Dominant and her submissive is Pierre, the chef. So far, he doesn't fuck anyone but her. It's her choice, not his.

"When Manuel became the first male submissive on board the ship, the men gave him a hard time or ignored him. I don't want to go through the bullshit again. He's a combat medic and he's as masculine as anyone else on this ship. He can probably out fuck any one of you into the ground. He is not gay, he is not some girl in a man's body. He chooses to submit to Lynn for his own reasons, primarily because his fiancée is deeply submissive and since her sexuality is owned by her Mistress and he wanted to be a participant in that part of her life. Don't treat him any differently than you would any other guy. I don't want to hear anyone running him down. If you run the chef down for the same reason, I'm sure you'll find some things in your food you don't want to find.

"There are Dominants and submissive in every age group, ethnicity, cultural background, income level, and occupation. I know of submissive police officers, FBI agents, fisherman, lawyers, businessman. Some people are switches. They may be Dominant to some people and submissive to others. Francesca is submissive to me, but Belle is her submissive first. Beth is studying this for her doctorate degree and can answer questions you might have. We'll be having one other submissive joining us in a couple weeks, named Delphine. She will be Hannah's submissive, but will have sex with men if her Mistress permits it.

"Now watching me fondle my wife, did either of you gents get an erection?"

Neither one spoke for several moments, but Oz finally stuck his hand up. When Oz did, Jerry did.

"Nothing to be ashamed of, erections are fairly common around the dinner table, especially when the weather is warm and the slaves are naked. Beth, why don't you take care of Oz, and Francesca, you can take care of Jerry."

"Yes, Master," we both said, approached the men, released their cocks from the confinement of their clothes, and gave them a cock sucking they could write home about. Jerry looked to have the larger of the two cocks, but neither one had anything to be ashamed about.

While the rest of the table chatted and ate, Francesca and I sucked them dry. Both of them levitated from their chairs when we extracted their cum. Oz wanted to hold my head down, but I was already at the bottom of his cock as his hot cum jetted to the back of my throat. I felt like high fiving Francesca because she'd done the exact same thing to Jerome. We took our seats again. I smiled at Master.

"What you just experienced is one of the perks of working for me. I tend to be generous to those people who work hard and have earned my trust, which you will learn again at morning muster. Every one of my slaves has sex with someone other than me every day. Sex to one orgasm by the person rewarded, in any way they choose to take it. They reward both males and females and my crew is very happy and loyal. My submissives choose to obey me in this, but can withdraw their permission at any time. If you treat them right, as my most valuable possessions, you may be rewarded. Treat them like shit and you'll be gone, like one person who called Beth a fucking slut. Remember, she only has sex as I direct, so her behavior is only what I tell her to do. I can tell her to never have sex with anyone, and she won't. Since I control it, it should be no reflection on her. Are there any questions. I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Greenbriar," Jerry said, "and may I say that was the best blow job I ever had."

"Beth trained Francesca, so you can be sure it's not the best you'll ever have if you stay on my ship, right Oz? And that wasn't the best she's capable of giving. She likes you naked and to take more time when she's trying to give you her best head. She will make you beg to cum."

"You're kidding," Oz said. "That wasn't her best."

"Maybe 80% of my best," I said. "That was a trifle rushed. I usually want you feeling as if the head of your prick was exploding."

"Amen," Edgar said. Several of the men laughed.

"And don't bet with her either," Ethan said, "the people who have, usually regretted it."

"You should know, Ethan," I said.

"You men were all vetted before I hired you. You are used to keeping your countries secrets. You also have to keep mine. You signed NDAs before you were hired. I don't particularly care if it should get out that I'm a Dominant, but it would be devastating to my wife if it were known she's a submissive, and shares her submission with three other women. That can't happen. This is where the loyalty comes in. Keep your mouths shut. Don't share this information with anyone who doesn't know. As far as I'm concerned, it's the secret of the atomic bomb. Exposing that secret won't make any of you sleep better at night."

******

I checked my email after dinner and found a long message from Professor Kline. He talked about the results he found in the testing and along with my survey, did agree that Yasmine tended to have a timid, submissive personality. He didn't think she should be given a Master yet. Herman thought a couple more days or even a week with the other freed slaves might help define her better.

He also said he didn't think he could take Yasmine as a submissive. As he wrote, I don't think moving a young woman into my house would go well in the academic community. It's not like I can pretend she is an au pair or exchange student. Oliva actually had no problem with the idea of taking a second submissive. That surprised me a great deal, given our previous history. Then I remembered the example you set while she was establishing her submission and it was more understandable. I did take your recommendation and made contact with Ms. Layton. We will be going there this weekend and Ms. Layton said she has some things planned which Oliva and I should enjoy. She mentioned a special saddle she uses for horseback riding sometimes. She didn't say what made it special, but only that Oliva would love it.

I remembered the special saddle with a great deal of fondness. I'm sure Oliva would take a great deal of pleasure in riding on it. I wondered if Mrs. Kline would be fucking Diego or Pony Boy. Gloria would be someone nice for Herman, or even Mistress Layton herself. I decided to ask Master for his permission to contact William Thornhill regarding Yasmine. Perhaps he could take a second slave. I could also speak to the Captain about openly becoming a Dominant. He had the perfect person to emulate in Lynn.

Before going to meet Mickey, I had several enemas so he could fully enjoy every part of me tonight. I kissed Master, Miranda, Francesca and Belle before I left. I laid my head on Master's chest after kissing him.

"Two days without fucking you, Master. I hope you'll take pity on your slave and use her well tomorrow."

"Very well," he said.

I gave him another kiss, just before Maahnoor knocked on the door. Master told her to enter.

"I just finished working, Joshua. I had a very busy day and it helped to fill my time. Pierre told me to start at 0400 tomorrow morning. Thank you for giving me a job."

"You're welcome, Maahnoor. As I said, we can use all the help we can get. Farah and Hibbah have also asked to start working. Farah wants to learn to fly and Hibbah asked to work with Manuel and Sherry in sick bay. We'll get Farah started on helicopter repair and maintenance. Leo recommends she learn to fly airplanes before starting on helicopters. They are easier to control, so she may need to wait until we get back to the States to get actual lessons, but Leo will take her up a few times while he's doing his runs."

"Maahnoor, since you're getting up so early, why don't you sleep in my room again so you don't disturb Hibbah in the morning. I won't be sleeping there tonight, so you won't bother me either. I'll show you how to leave through the back so you don't disturb Master either."

"Thank you."

I led her back to my room and told her to feel free to use anything which fit her if she needed fresh clothes in the morning. I showed her the door through Master's playroom.

"Why haven't I seen this room before?" she said, shivering a little.

"Because we didn't think it was appropriate for you to see before. It is not as bad as what you had to face Maahnoor. Remember, I can stop Master any time I wish with one word. He cannot beat me senseless. You notice how all the surfaces are padded, and Master can't leave any scars or marks on my body lasting longer than two days. I don't mind being back in this room. I've enjoyed many orgasms in here."

She started looking closer at everything. She suddenly straightened up and turned to me. "Maybe I should let Henry punish me for what I did."

"That's not a good idea, Maahnoor. There are a number of reasons why it would be a very bad decision, but the main reason would be Master makes it a point of not punishing me when he's angry. He only did it once and it was the worst of the punishments he ever gave me. Being a good Master as opposed to the person who owned you, is to remain always in control. In addition to Henry never having done anything like this, he may not be able to control himself if he's angry. Punishments for my Master come out of a place of love and sexual teasing. He almost never punishes me without giving me an orgasm before, during, or after the punishment to mitigate its effects on me. It's hard to maintain control under negative emotions such as anger and fear. Henry is both angry at you for what you did, but he also fears losing you. He might hurt you too much, or worse yet, hurt your child. He'd never forgive himself if he did either of those things. For now, we have to wait until things play out.

"I will tell you that he's asked me if I can give counseling to you and Ateefah and any others who want it. I don't think he'd be asking me to do it if he were ready to abandon his marriage. I don't know if I can do it yet, but I'm looking into it."

"Please. I wish you would. I miss him so much. I never met anyone like him. He's so kind and gentle and he's never gotten angry with me until now. I have seen many women slapped or struck by their husbands or fathers. My own father did it when I told him what happened to me. You saw it. Henry has never done anything like that."

"I promise I'm looking into it. When you come in here to avoid Master's room, you can leave through this door, which is near the dining room. You can enter my room the same way, should you need to go back there without disturbing the people in Master's cabin." I put a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Be strong, Maahnoor."